Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader’s Valentine’s Day did not go as planned. It started to go south when Villainette #2 started acting up with her friends here (from the sleepover). Your Maximum Leader disciplined her quietly and not in front of her friends so as not to embarass her too much. Alas, she was a bit thickheaded and needed another go - this time in front of everyone. No fun… Your Maximum Leader’s mood perceptibly grew a little foul.

Then, Mrs Villain and the Villainettes had a group of kids over to work on a school project. This school project involved painting some sheets to use as a backdrop to a play. Mrs Villain didn’t think through the painting and had the kids paint the (thin cotton) sheets on top of a (thin cotton) sheet on the carpeted floor of the Villainschloss basement. Needless to say, the carpet got painted too. Your Maximum Leader had to go out and get one of those industrial-strength carpet cleaner thingies to save the day. The day is pretty much saved - but it wasn’t pretty and your Maximum Leader was starting to get really pissy.

Then came time for dinner. Your Maximum Leader had planned a feast of T-bone steak, fried oysters, roasted-garlic mashed potatoes and green beans. Well… Villainette #1 decided she didn’t want to help peel potatoes. Your Maximum Leader told her that if she didn’t she was getting a peanut butter sandwich for dinner. Villainette #1 thought the threat was an idle one, so she left. Your Maximum Leader was now very pissy. He cooked four (instead of five) steaks, fried up the pound of oysters he bought (already shucked - this morning in fact), and got everything cooked. Dinner was served and Villainette #1 was surprised to discover that not only was she going to actually get a peanut butter sandwich for dinner; but that it was served to her on a Lightning McQueen plate normally reserved for her 4 years old brother. She was all sorts of upset. She sulked through dinner. Your Maximum Leader was informed by Mrs Villain at the table that she didn’t want any oysters (fried or otherwise). Villainette #2 had a couple of oysters (she liked them but wanted more steak). So it fell to your Maximum Leader to eat pretty much all of the oysters. (NB: They were quite delicious. Lightly breaded in a corn-meal/flour mix and a little buttermilk.)

Did your Maximum Leader mention that he started drinking bourbon and coke from his 20 oz tiki mug earlier in the day? No? Ooops.

So now your Maximum Leader is all hopped up with oysters and liquor. And what does he decide to do?

Go and read blogs of course…

He should draw your attention to the best “Valentine’s Day” type post he’s read in a long time. Mr. C.S. Perry is a friggin genius. Not only is Mr. C.S. Perry a friggin genius, but he caused your Maximum Leader to remember through a bourbon induced haze that he is filled with the amourousness that comes through alcohol and oysters in mass quantities. In fact he is likely filled with enough amourousness to occupy two normal men his age (or one 16 year old boy).

Mrs Villain has, of course, turned in early and is fast asleep.

At this point your Maximum Leader is seriously considering… Well… He’s considering lots of options…

Damn.

Carry on.