Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader reads on Robbo’s blog a wonderful little piece on Gen. John Buford and the opening of the Battle of Gettysburg. Your Maximum Leader doesn’t think much of the US Civil War, and thus didn’t think about yesterday being the annivesary of the beginning of the famous American battle.

On the other hand…

Your Maximum Leader did think about, and was reminded by his good friend the Air Marshal, that yesterday was also the first day of the Battle of the Somme in the Great War. Your Maximum Leader, when he thinks about the opening day of the Battle of the Somme, remembers the number 57,000. Fifty-seven thousand. He should remember the number 57,470. That huge number is number of British casualties on the first day of the battle. Of the 57,470 who became casualties, 19,240 were killed or died of wounds suffered that day.

Think about that for a moment.

19,240 British soliders killed in one day.

Let us compare that number to some others for a moment.

The number of American dead in Iraq: 4,323 (according to an anti-war group, your Maximum Leader didn’t find the Pentagon number).

The number of American dead in attack on September 11, 2001: 2,974.

The American dead from attack on Pearl Harbor: 2,350.

The dead from the Battle of Gettysburg (July 1-3, 1864) on both sides: 7,863. (3,155 Union, 4,708 Confederate)

The dead from the Battle of Antietam (September 17, 1862) on both sides: 3,654. (2,108 Union, 1,546 Confederate)

The population of Mineola, NY (2008): 19,216.

The population of East Lyme, CT (2008): 19,022.

The population of Vero Beach, FL (2008): 16,982.

The population of Princeton, NJ (2008): 13,391.

The population of Vienna, VA (2008): 14,903.

The population of Lexington, VA (2008): 7,003.

Contemplating the number of British dead makes your Maximum Leader shudder. The thought is made the more difficult in the knowledge that many of the units suffering so badly were part of Kitchener’s New Army. Many regiments of the New Army were recruited locally, so small towns often learned of whole generations of young men being killed at once. It is terrible to contemplate.

Your Maximum Leader thinks he’s going to have to stop contemplating this and get himself a drink pretty soon…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has been meaning to write a little bit about his wonderful weekend with Mrs Villain. Alas, the minor flooding in the Villainschloss caused your Maximum Leader to write less than he wanted while taking care of the situation.

So…

Last weekend your Maximum Leader and his loving wife, Mrs Villain, had a great visit to the Nemacolin Woodlands Resort and Spa. This visit was to celebrate your Maximum Leader’s 40th birthday and our anniversary. Let your Maximum Leader tell you that Nemacolin is one of his favorite places. The accomodations are great. The food is great. The people who work there are superlative. There are so many things to do there that you’ll never be bored. He cannot commend it to you all enough. If you can, you should visit.

So, your Maximum Leader and Mrs Villain arrived last Friday (mid-day). We settled into our room in the Chateau which was wonderful. (Mrs Villain booked rooms in the Lodge but thanks to a little Maximum Leaderly charm we got moved over to the Chateau.) Then we meandered over to the Shooting Academy.

Once we arrived at the Shooting Academy, we picked up our shotguns (Berretta 12 ga for your Maximum Leader and Berretta 20 ga for Mrs Villain) and went out and destroyed some clays. During a previous visit your Maximum Leader went after 100 clays and got 85 of them. He was hot that day. Alas, during this visit he was not as sharp. He did 50 clays this time and probably only got about 30. He had some real trouble at some of the stations. He didn’t hit one of the “mini” clays. (Which are, as the name suggests, about half the size of a regular clay and faster.) He also had trouble at the station with the “rabbits.” In case you do not know, when you shoot clays they are often released in a way that resembles the flight of an animal. Sometimes a pheasant, or pigeon, or even a rabbit. Your Maximum Leader had trouble picking up the rabbit as it skipped across his field of vision. It was disappointing. Perhaps it is a sign of age. Perhaps a sign of needing to check his eyeglass prescription.

After shooting clays we returned to the room and freshened up and dressed for dinner. We went to dinner at the one restaurant at the resort where we hadn’t eaten in our previous visits. We went to Aqueous. It is a steak and seafood place. We split a bowl of soup (a creamy mushroom soup that was a special that day) and some of their smoked salmon apetizer to get started. Then Mrs Villain had the Seasame Ahi Tuna (with shitake lo-mein, some tempura veggies, and yuzu). Your Maximum Leader had the New York Strip with a broiled lobster tail, with bearnase, aparagus, and their special Mac & Cheese.

Okay… Your Maximum Leader can absolutely hear Basil rolling his eyes from the midwest and declaring “Dear God! Mac & Cheese with dinner. What is Maxy now a four year old?” In his defence, your Maximum Leader wasn’t thinking of Mac & Cheese at first. But he remembered that during a previous visit he was told by a friend that the Mac & Cheese was fantastic and that if given the chance it should be gotten. Well… Your Maximum Leader can say for sure that this is the third best Mac & Cheese he’s ever had. The best is (of course) his own that he makes at the Villainschloss for the Villainettes upon request. The next best is the Mac & Cheese he’s had at both Nob Hill restaurants (the one in San Francisco and Las Vegas) The one at Aqueous was quite good. The chef used a mix of smoked cheeses that was very appetizing. So if you are dining at Aqueous, try the Mac & Cheese.

Oh yes… The view from our table across the golf course…

Clicken to embiggen in all cases…

The next day Mrs Villain awoke and got a spa treatment. Your Maximum Leader, not being much for spa treatments, went out for a little walk. He spoke to the tennis pro for a bit (about baseball actually) while passing by the lovely grass courts. Then your Maximum Leader went back to the room and waited for Mrs Villain to return. Upon her return we both went for a walk. We walked up to the menagerie and saw lions, elk, mountain goats, hyenas, and bison among others. In fact while we were walking by two of the bears decided to “get jiggy with it.” Photographic evidence:

The most interesting animal on the trip was the white Bison known as “Snowball.”

After our walk we got an early lunch and then spent a little time by the pool. Then we took a little trip. Mrs Villain, knowing your Maximum Leader’s love of baseball took him away to Pittsburgh for the Pirates/Royals game at PNC park. Your Maximum Leader hadn’t seen a baseball game at PNC (although he had seen games at the old Three Rivers). We had great seats.

And not only that! The Pirates won the game. (Woo hoo! Way to stick it to the American League!) It was a great experience. Your Maximum Leader was reminded of how great the Pirates fans are. They know their team. They know the game. They were a great group of people to mingle with.

Since you might be thinking it… Your Maximum Leader has visited a number of ballparks. In his mind the ranking of the best ballparks goes something like this: 1) Wrigley; 2) Fenway; (both of these are highly ranked due to their history and atmosphere - if not the amenities of the park itself) 3) PNC Park; 4) Camden Yards; and finally 5) Nationals Park. (Okay… Your Maximum Leader admits that Nats Park only makes the top five because he is a fan and loves his team. If push came to shove he’d say that AT&T park is probably nicer… But Nationals Park is right up there.)

After the game there were fireworks fired off barges in the Ohio river. That was great. Then we drove back to the resort.

On Sunday after a wonderful breakfast we checked out and went to visit some of the local historical sites. This was your Maximum Leader’s fourth or fifth visit to Nemacolin; and he’d never stopped to see some of the very historical sites that are within 5 miles of the resort.

Robbo… Are you paying attention to this? Your Maximum Leader was thinking of you during these visits.

We first went to the grave of Maj-Gen Edward Braddock. We walked down the remains of Braddock’s road to the site were Braddock was buried by George Washington.

Seen here with Mrs Villain’s gams:

Then we walked up the hill to the current gravesite.

Some details of the plaques on the monument:

Here is a view from a distance away. You can see the current monument to the left of the photo. Your Maximum Leader is standing in the remains of Braddock’s road looking down the hill towards the site where Braddock was first buried. If you look carefully you can see the ruts of the road in the grass. Look to the bottom of the photo and you’ll see two wooden beams. These beams mark where the ruts were before they paved the path. If you follow them into the darkness you can pick up the roadway.

(NB to all embiggening clickers: Sorry for the crappy quality of photos. We forgot the good camera and were reduced to using your Maximum Leader’s cell phone camera.)

After the Braddock grave site visit we drove on down the road to Fort Necessity. We looked through the visitor’s center and then walked out to the reconstruction of the fort itself.

Your Maximum Leader was surprised during his visit. The fort was about as big as he’d always pictured it in his mind. He also remembers reading a letter of Washington’s describing the construction and size of the fort. What surprised him was the size of the meadow in which the fort was located. The US Park Service is has been kind enough to mark where the tree line was in 1754. In many cases the trees were a lot closer to the fort than he’d imagined. Thus, the meadow didn’t seem all that big. The Wiki article linked above says that the tree line was within 100 yards of the fort. This is a little tidbit that your Maximum Leader never remembers reading. He visualized that the tree line was well further than 100 yards from the fort. While the trees are now more than 100 yards from the fort, they weren’t in 1754. Now seeing the site your Maximum Leader has a better understanding of why Washington’s physical position in the fort was untenable (especially considering the rain and lack of supplies). Your Maximum Leader wouldn’t want to try and defend that position from attack…

Anyhoo…

After visiting Ft Necessity your Maximum Leader and Mrs Villain returned home. It was a wonderful trip. Again, if you happen to be looking for a great place to spend a nice weekend, you should give Nemacolin and the Laurel Highlands of Pennsylvania a try.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader mentioned the other day that he went down to visit his friend the Smallholder. The purpose of the trip was to celebrate the baptism of the Smallholder’s youngest son. In addition to baptism there was the roasting of a whole pig and much feasting and drinking.

So… If you are going to roast a whole pig you might wonder what would one do with the head of said pig? You could have the butcher dispose of it if you wanted.

Or you could take the pig’s head and feet, sit them on your lap in the truck, and drive them over to your friend Polymath’s home where he will turn the pig’s head into head cheese.

If you clicky here you can read (and see) all about Polymath making head cheese. It looks great. Your Maximum Leader wishes he could get down there to try some.

Oh yeah… Your Maximum Leader should mention that he still hasn’t gotten all of the bloody stains off his jeans yet from the journey. How’s that for a mental image for ye? Your Maximum Leader covered in blood with a head as a trophy… Quite manly isn’t it?

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader was hoping to have some picture blogging to share with you all (especially Robbo) today. Alas, he’s having a little problem at the Villainschloss. Apparently the washing machine has malfunctioned and partially flooded part of the dungeon. So… That is the pressing problem…

In the meanwhile…

According to the wonders of science… If you are a man and you want to keep your “boys” free from DNA defects or damage (and by “boys” your Maximum Leader means “your swimmers.” Okay… He means sperm.); then you need to have sex every day.

Scientists say so. It is reported on the interwebs so it must be true.

While the context of this piece deals with men getting women pregnant… Your Maximum Leader figures he doesn’t want to have any of his “swimmers” suffering from DNA defects. He’ll have to tell Mrs Villain that more “conjugation” is in order for health reasons.

Also… It would stand to reason that if a man wants to get a woman pregnant he should have sex with her frequently…

Your Maximum Leader should be a scientist…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader and his lovely wife spend a lovely long weekend at the Nemacolin Resort (with a brief foray to Pittsburgh for the Pirates/Royals game on Saturday night). And what has been going on in the meanwhile?

Ed McMahon - dead.
Farrah Fawcett - dead.
Michael Jackson - dead.
Billy Mays - dead.

Great jeezey chreezey!

On the flip side…

Abe Vigoda - lives!

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader sees that Palmetto State Governor Mark Sanford has fessed-up to having an affair with a woman in Argentina.

Well… More accurately he’s been having an affair with a woman. The affair was discovered when he jetted off to Argentina to have a little Father’s Day fling with the woman. It is unclear to your Maximum Leader if the woman is in any way related to Argentina - except perhaps in the “she likes to have sex” there way. Your Maximum Leader is sure that Argentina is a great place. If he ever gets a chance to visit (which he has always wanted to do), he will likely do so with Mrs Villain. He also imagines that whatever it is that makes American men horny in Argentina will affect him. Lucky Mrs Villain will be with your Maximum Leader so there will be no need for resignations, apologies and recriminations upon his return.

Your Maximum Leader wonders if the woman is in fact Andrea Rincon? You may recall that last week your Maximum Leader mentioned rumors that Bill Clinton had “tapped” Ms. Rincon. (A rumor that persists this week.) What would be the chances that Governor Sanford also “tapped” Ms Rincon?

Great jeezey chreezey! If Andrea Rincon had been liasing with both Clinton and Sanford that would be a heck of a story! Not only that but your Maximum Leader would have to declare that Ms. Rincon would be the sexiest woman in politics so far this year!

Riddle your Maximum Leader this, how many more prominent Republicans will be caught cheating on their wives? 2 more? 3 more? Your Maximum Leader should run an over/under pool on this… He will say the number is 2. Over/under two more prominent Republicans caught cheating on their wives by the end of 2009.

Never fear loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has never cheated on Mrs Villain. He doesn’t ever plan on cheating on Mrs Villain. Of course, if the dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt (or very desireable Grace Thorsen) happened to proposition him; he would be sorely tried.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader (while not working on restoring his iPod last night) watched the Washington Nationals/Boston Red Sox baseball game last night.

Ugh…

In what is becoming typical “Natinals” performance, the boys played close until they went to the bullpen.

Your Maximum Leader nearly placed a bet with his brother-in-law (a transplanted Bostoner and die-hard Sawx fan) that the “Natinals” would take one out of three games. Today, after seeing our bullpen performance, he isn’t sure he’d try to get a bet on a split of the final two games.

Also… Your Maximum Leader should say how distressed he was (yet unsurprised) at the crowds in Nationals Park last night. He was overjoyed to see 41,000 people in the park to watch the game. He was not so happy in the knowledge that probably 30,000 of them were rooting for the Sawx.

Indeed, your Maximum Leader believes that (once again) Tom Boswell summarizes his feelings about this series (and much of what goes on with the “Natinals” club) in his column in the WaPo today.

In hopes it will bring some better ju-ju to the team…

Go Nats!

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has had a rough week. Well… That isn’t entirely true. Perhaps there is some hyperbole in there…

Your Maximum Leader needed to spend Monday recovering from his weekend celebrations. He was able to spend the weekend with three of his good friends (The Smallholder, The Minister of Propaganda - erstwhile bloggers in this space - and Polymath). Spending time together requires drinking copious amounts of alcohol, eating the roasted flesh of a huge hog, and “solving the worlds problems.” In many cases the whole “solving the world’s problems” part involves one or more of us determining that Mr/Mrs/Miss So-and-so be “dragged out and shot.” Needless to say… It is safe to keep firearms away from us during this time…

It was funny that the Minister of Propaganda should comment about this blog. He noted that the infrequency of updates over the past few months was “more like letter writing than blogging.” That struck your Maximum Leader as funny and true…

More “letter writing” over the summer one supposes…

Tuesday’s prime bloggy time was spent working out a SERIOUS PROBLEM!!!! VERY SERIOUS!!!!!

Your Maximum Leader’s iPod locked up and just kept flashing the black screen with the silver Apple logo on it over and over again. Since 2005 your Maximum Leader’s iPod has been a rather constant companion. It is his absolutely favorite piece of personal electronics. This was the first time that any malfunction had occurred. Your Maximum Leader couldn’t imagine going ONE FRIGGIN DAY without an iPod. He was so paniced that he contemplated going to Best Buy and buying a new one right before they closed - just in case he couldn’t restore his first.

Your Maximum Leader was able to get his iPod into disk mode and reinstall the OS on it. Then he had to reload all of his content back onto the little black iPod. He was pretty scared for a little bit there… But it is okay now. His iPod has been chugging along all day now and all seems well…

Thank God for small mercies. Like a functioning iPod.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader wanted to wish all you fathers a happy Father’s Day this Sunday. Although this is one of those horrid “Hallmark” holidays that exist for no other purpose than to stimulate buying of cards and small gifts, he feels that this year he’ll give more support to the day as a means of standing up for the free market and consumerism.

So go out there and spend for your dad.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has been following the goings-on in Iran since the late presidential elections. He has been gobsmacked by the Ayatollah Ali Khamenei’s claim that the elections couldn’t be rigged. He has also been reading accounts of what has been going on in the streets.

Which brings him to the “Fear Is Gone” page on the Wall Street Journal Editorial page today. You should go and read the accounts that the WSJ is publishing from people in Tehran.

Your Maximum Leader hopes that the protesters and opposition figures are able to move the government. He isn’t sure where he wants the government moved however. (And by “government” he means the Ayatollahs running the country.) He doesn’t forsee the possibility of a full coup that throws out the religious leaders. But some other resolution would seem in order.

This is not to say that a full revolution that does oust the current government and the Ayatollahs would be a bad thing. It is just that it would be such an unpredictable thing. Your Maximum Leader’s inherent distrust of all revolutions (even ones that on their face he wants to wholeheartedly support) is getting to him. If we have learned anything about revolutionary fervor we should know that you can’t predict their outcomes.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader thanks you all for your kind birthday wishes. He will try to respond to all of you individually over the next day or so.

All in all his birthday was a good one. Mrs Villain is being very coy about the gift for your Maximum Leader from her and the kids. He’s not received anything yet except word that “You’ll enjoy it.” So he continues to wait. He does know that Mrs Villain has spent an inordinately high amount of money on the gift so far - but has been careful to not put anything down in a way that would enable your Maximum Leader to figure things out. If you Maximum Leader had to guess, he would guess that Mrs Villain is going to spirit him away to the Nemocolin Resort next weekend. (Nemacolin is one of your Maximum Leader’s favorite places.)

Anyhoo…

None of what he’s shared with you yet is scurrilous gossip…

One of your Maximum Leader’s more rabidly political friends contacted him yesterday night via an email that said “Hey. Bill Clinton is tapping this.” (Please consider that link sorta NSFW.)

Your Maximum Leader, of course clickyed the linky and surveyed the photos of one Agentine beauty, Andrea Rincon. She is one hot little number. Of course, your Maximum Leader tried to get his friend on the phone and find out how he would know this jucy tidbit. Alas, he’s not made contact yet. He did find this on the Washington Post today. Apparently, Al Kamen is reporting that according to President Clinton’s people nothing happened between Ms Rincon and the former President.

Now… Your Maximum Leader is a very happily married man. He would never cheat on his wife… But if your Maximum Leader were Bill Clinton he would definately “tap” Ms. Rincon. Afterall, what happens on a fundraising trip to Buenos Aries stays in Buenos Aries. In fact, if your Maximum Leader were Bill Clinton he would likely be spending all of his time overseas doing everything possible to “improve the United States’ reputation” amongst hot foreign women.

Just sayin’.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader was thinking about this clip all day today.

Craig Ferguson is one brilliant bastard.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader today exercised his privledges to post over on another blog. He had planned on writing and publishing his thoughts here; but then realized the other blog might be a little more a propos of his true feelings.

If you are interested you can check out your Maximum Leader’s take on Michael Kinsley’s latest missive on the national anthem by clicking through on “Effing Conservatives.”

Carry you.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is stealing an post type from FLG again.

He is currently listening to:

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader sees on the news wire that scientists are predicting that the Earth and Venus (or possibly the Earth and Mars - depending on the model you use) will collide with each other. If they don’t actually collide there is a possibility that the planets will pass so close to one another that they might as well collide.

Yup. That is a nasty firey collision in which all humanity will perish.

Lucky for us it looks like this might not happen for 3.5 billion years.

By that point your Maximum Leader is sure that we would have left our homeworld and settled twelve new colonies. We should also have managed to produce hawt Cylons to serve us…

Carry on.