Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader woke this morning from the strangest and most real seeming dream he’s had in a long time. It goes like this…

Your Maximum Leader is going to the liquor store to buy some Scotch. He buys some and notices that right next to the liquor store is a church. The name on the church sign is “Saint Garrioch’s Anglican Church and Scottish Cultural Center.” Of course, your Maximum Leader goes in. He sat down in a pew and realized that the whole congregation seemed very lively and animated and very “scottish looking.” The pastor came out from behind an altar screen and invited everyone to come down into the common room downstairs. So we all got up and went downstairs. Once downstairs we were in a large room that vaugely resembled my paternal grandparents basement. It had late 60’s wood composite paneling and a dark colored shag carpet. There were chairs and sofas and more pews in the room. Your Maximum Leader sat down again in a pew. The pastor reappeared in clerical robes that seemed to be tucked down into a Royal Stewart tartan kilt. Around this point various bottles of whisky started to appear and everyone started drinking. The pastor began a sermon on drunkeness. Mid-way through his sermon he called out for our good lesbian friend “Michelle” to start the karaoke contest. Your Maximum Leader looked to his left and saw a very masculine woman stand up. As he looked at her more carefully, she seemed very familiar. Then he realized that the lesbian karaoke leader looked like a cross between your Maximum Leader and his great-aunt. At this point the pastor came over to your Maximum Leader, hugged him and declared “Laddie, your mum over there [pointing to the lesbian] is a fine lookin’ woman.”

Around this time your Maximum Leader awoke… Very strange…

Carry on.