Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader should note that in addition to it being Winston Churchill’s birthday, it is also Saint Andrew’s Day. Thus we have a triple whammy of events. The anniversary of the birth of the Great Man himself. The national holiday of Scotland (the home of many of your Maximum Leader’s ancestors). And the religious celebration of Saint Andrew the Apostle.

So, if you need instruction on how to commemorate the day… You should go to church, drink scotch and be bitter and humourless.

Carry on.