Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader extends his warm well-wishes to those of his readers who are mothers this Mother’s Day.

He especially wants to extend his warm wishes to mothers who are dear to him including: Mrs Villain (the mother of your Maximum Leader’s children and his loving wife), Your Maximum Leader’s own Sainted Mother, Your Maximum Leader’s beloved sister (for whom this is her first Mother’s Day as a mom), Your Maximum Leader’s beloved Mother-in-law, Your Maximum Leader’s beloved Sister-in-law, Mrs Smallholder, Mrs Air Marshal, Mrs Foreign Minister, and the Big Hominid’s Mother (who has always been like a second mother to your Maximum Leader - and to whom your Maximum Leader has been a bad “son” of late has he hasn’t written or called in a long while.)

Your Maximum Leader knows that many of his readers are moms. Please forgive him if he doesn’t list you all personally, as he is sure that he will inadvertently neglect to add someone’s name and give unintentional offence.

Carry on.