Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader wanted to wish all you fathers a happy Father’s Day this Sunday. Although this is one of those horrid “Hallmark” holidays that exist for no other purpose than to stimulate buying of cards and small gifts, he feels that this year he’ll give more support to the day as a means of standing up for the free market and consumerism.

So go out there and spend for your dad.

Carry on.