Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader isn’t sure how he is going to go about celebrating Constitution Day. What? You didn’t know it was Constitution Day? Well, September 17th is that illustrious day. The anniversary of the signing of that glorious document that frames the institutions of the American Republic.

Of course, if you didn’t know today was Constitution Day, you either forgot (which is likely for most of you — your Maximum Leader has a very educated readership) or you are a teenager who found this site while surfing for porn.

Well… Your Maximum Leader will celebrate this Constitution Day in the following fashion… He’ll grill some burgers, drink a beer or two, and watch Monday Night Football in High Definition. Because if the Framers could have done so, that is how they would have celebrated… (Okay… Maybe only Ben Franklin would have celebrated in the same fashion… But Ben Franklin was a great man…)

Your Maximum Leader doffs his bejeweled floppy cap in honour of the Framer’s work this day.

Carry on.