Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is going to have to call out his friend Mr. FLG. Yes… Call Mr. FLG to task for what your Maximum Leader hopes is a momentary lapse of reason and judgement.

Did you happen to read this recent post from Mr. FLG? Go thee now and read.

Back? Great.

Now your Maximum Leader really doesn’t have a beef with that post until the end. FLG’s favorite holidays: Thanksgiving, Christmas, St. Patty’s Day, Halloween, and Cinco de Mayo.

WTF!!!!!!!

Where the hell is the FOURTH OF JULY!!!!! Cinco Friggin de Mayo makes the list and the FOURTH OF JULY doesn’t?

Allow your Maximum Leader to ennumerate the reasons why the FOURTH OF JULY is the greatest of all American holidays. Pay close attention and we may be able to avoid re-education camps down the road…

1. A time to celebrate the ideas behind the founding of our great republic.
2. Completely secular.
3. No gift-giving required (assuming that you don’t consider the beer you might bring to a party as being a “gift”).
4. Good weather.
5. Bikini-clad hotties.
6. Fireworks.
7. Cook-outs.
8. John Phillip Sousa marches.
9. Drinking.
10. Day off work regardless of when it falls in the week.

(Did your Maximum Leader mention Bikini-clad hotties, cook-outs and exploding shit? Well let him say it again… Bikini-clad hotties, cook-outs and fireworks.)

Your Maximum Leader hopes not to have cover this again with you FLG…

Carry on.