Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader will share another conversation in the style of FLG that was had at the Villainschloss over the long weekend.

[Scene - the dining room. The whole family is seated for dinner.]
Villainette #2 (looking sideways at her brother, the Wee Villain - aged 5, seated next to her): Don’t do that.
Mrs Villain: Don’t do what?
Villainette #2: He’s scratching himself. You know… THERE…
Villainette #1: Ewww… Gross… I’m trying to eat over here.
Mrs Villain (to Wee Villain): Stop it.

A moment later the Wee Villain stands up from his chair and stands next to the table in plain sight.

Max Ldr (to the Wee Villain): Are you okay? You’re holding yourself like you need to use the bathroom. Do you need to go to the bathroom.
Wee Villain: No. I am moving bochuk.
Mrs Villain: What? You’re moving what? Bochuk? What is bochuk?
Wee Villain: Not bochuk. Bob and Chuck.
Mrs Villain: Bob and Chuck? Who are Bob and Chuck.
Wee Villain: Come on mom! They are the names I gave my balls. Bob and Chuck.

Choking on food ensues as does laughter and groans.

Max Ldr: Son, you can’t play with Bob and Chuck at the dinner table.
Wee Villain: But they are really itchy. Please, can I go to my room and do it?
Max Ldr: Of course. But wash your hands before coming back to the table.

The Wee Villain leaves to go to his room and Mrs Villain, Villainette #1 and Villainette #2 are staring at your Maximum Leader.

Max Ldr: I don’t know why you’re staring at me. I’ve never named mine. I don’t know where he got that. Probably from some malcontent in school…

Carry on.