UN Secretary General Ban Ki-Moon quaked. He was on the most important negotiation ever. The alien attack killed at least 1 billion people. The aliens announced that earthlings should appoint an ambassador to hear their demands.

Ban waited in the alien spacecraft. A wall opened and an alien entered. The alien walked up to Ban and said, “You have 10 days to provide us with 10,000,000 tons of chocolate, Lindsay Lohan, and the head of James Gandolfini on a stick. If you do not it will be your doom.”

Clearly, these were not the demands Ban expected.