Banned Book Meme

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader saw this over on Lemuel’s site and thought he’d play along before Lemuel decided to go and delete his site.

Here is how it works. Below are listed the top 110 banned (or otherwise contraversial) titles on the list. Entries in Bold Type are ones that your Maximum Leader has read in their entirety. Entries in Italicized Type are ones that your Maximum Leader has read in part or has read significant excerpts from. Entries in plain type are those your Maximum Leader has never read in part or in whole.

Here are the top 25 books on the list. The remaining entries (26-110) are below the fold.

#1 The Bible (Read almost all of it. But there are some books he’s not touched.)
#2 Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
#3 Don Quixote by Miguel de Cervates
#4 The Koran (He’s read the Penguin Classics English translation.)
#5 Arabian Nights
#6 Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain
#7 Gulliver’s Travels by Jonathan Swift
#8 Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer
#9 Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne
#10 Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman
#11 Prince by Niccolo Machiavelli
#12 Uncle Tom’s Cabin by Harriet Beecher Stowe
#13 Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank
#14 Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert
#15 Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens
#16 Les Miserables by Victor Hugo
#17 Dracula by Bram Stoker
#18 Autobiography by Benjamin Franklin
#19 Tom Jones by Henry Fielding
#20 Essays by Michel de Montaigne
#21 Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck
#22 History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire by Edward Gibbon
#23 Tess of the D’Urbervilles by Thomas Hardy
#24 Origin of Species by Charles Darwin
#25 Ulysses by James Joyce
(more…)

The Heaven That is…

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has surely mentioned his love of Krispy Kreme doughnuts. Hasn’t he? Well, his love of Krispy Kreme doughnuts is a fact nonetheless.

There is a new KK store (restaurant?) near the Villainschloss. When your Maximum Leader drives by the power of Christ compells him to look for the “Hot Now” sign. If the sign is on, he almost always stops. If he is by himself it is one (and only one) doughnut and some Vitamin D milk. If one of the Villainettes is in the car… Well then the stop is a full-blown event. There is parking. Going inside. The watching the doughnuts on the conveyor. Then pointing out the doughnuts on the cooling off conveyor to be put in the box for nearly immediate consumption.

Tonight, your Maximum Leader and Villainette #2 were in the Villainmobile.

The “Hot Now” sign was on.

A dozen hot glazed doughnuts were brought back to the Villainschloss.

The frenzy began.

Now there are four doughnuts in the box.

Your Maximum Leader is filled with two things. 1) Shame for eating three doughnuts himself. 2) Those three little warm edible orgasms that were hot Krispy Kreme doughnuts.

Carry on.

Corrupt?

Finally, a small victory for the forces of good.

Believe.

Note To Self…

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader sees that “erotic” chat over the internet is now grounds for divorce in Belgium.

Note to Self 1: Never go to Belgium and engage in “eotic” chat over the internet.

Note to Self 2: Work with Sadie to make our chat is less “erotic” and more “suggestive.”

Carry on.

Chuck Williams

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader sees that the man responsible for one of his favourite stores is going to turn 90. Chuck Williams, the founder of Williams-Sonoma, still goes to the office every day and thinks of new ways to improve the culinary life of Americans. Pretty impressive. If your Maximum Leader makes it to 90 he imagines he’ll be drooling on himself and sitting in a diaper.

But he digresses…

Williams-Sonoma is a great store. If you haven’t visited recently, you should. Well… Provided you like to cook. The last purchase your Maximum Leader made at a Williams-Sonoma was a Wustof Tomato Knife. It is great. Although he should mention that the all-time greatest purchase your Maximum Leader has made at W-S is their big white bowl. He has 8 of them. They are oven-safe, microwave-safe, boiling-safe and hard as granite. He loves them. He’d link to them on the store web site, but he can’t find the specific bowl he’s talking about. (Take that back. Here they are. Chili bowls. They are also great for ice cream, soup, stew, and cereal.)

Happy Birthday Mr. Williams.

Carry on.

Cool Squid

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has, like so many others, been fascinated by giant squid. He’s always thought it interesting that such a creature had never been filmed in the sea.

Never caught on film until now. A Japanese crew used a remote vehicle with a baited lure and got film of the 26 foot long squid attacking the bait. Your Maximum Leader hopes to find some video to watch of this encounter. Up to now he’s only seen stills.

Very cool.

Carry on.

Gaza Pullout

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader notes that the forced closure of Jewish settlements in Gaza and the West Bank has been complete for nearly two weeks now. It was with a heavy heart and feelings approaching grief that he watched the footage of Israeli soldiers dragging other Israelis from their homes and synagogues. It was depressing.

A little while ago your Maximum Leader wrote that he thought that the Gaza and (limited) West Bank withdrawl was a necessary step to jump start the peace process. He also said that he felt that Israel needs to be prepared to take back that land if the peace process goes nowhere.

Your Maximum Leader feels he may have been wrong with that assessment.

In the intervening weeks since Israel’s pullout we’ve seen Hamas burn temples, homes, and riot. We’ve seen the Palestinian “Security Forces” and the Egyptian army do what they can to keep peace. It has been a carnival of violence. Indeed, just yesterday Israeli forces attacked Palestinian terrorists all through the West Bank. And all throughout Israel has been badgered to give up more.

Your Maximum Leader, sometimes an optimist, figured that a good will step would actually result in a little good will towards Israel. Not from the Palestinians mind you. They are incapable of it insofar as your Maximum Leader can tell. But he thought that it might soften up Europe and other Western Countries a little. Well… It hasn’t.

Now the next step for Israel should be the completion of the wall they are building between themselves and the Palestinian territory. Your Maximum Leader hopes it becomes the de facto border. Israel has done what it needs to do. They have taken the first step. Now they can, and should, wait until the Palestinians make the next move. Your Maximum Leader suspects that hell will freeze over and two feet of snow will cover Jerusalem before that happens. Your Maximum Leader woul be quite put out if President Bush or any subsequent administration were to start to strong-arm Israel to try and take another goodwill step.

Now the Palestinians have to step up and make tangible steps towards peace, or prepare to have the status quo continue indefinately.

Carry on.

Suggestion for MSM

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader sees on the news wire that ABC and CBS are secretly looking for new evening news anchors.

First off, how secret could the search be if stories about the search appear on the new wire?

Secondly, your Maximum Leader will suggest that ABC or CBS contact the Minister of Propaganda right away. He is a dashing figure and we’re sure he’ll look great on TV. He’s young and hip - so you might capture a younger demographic. He is single and dating - so you are guaranteed to get some tabloid press as he goes from one bacchanalian fest to another. And lastly, but by no means leastly, you will get an educated and articulate liberal to replace the liberals you had before.

If ABC or CBS did pick up the M of P as their evening news anchor your Maximum Leader just might start watching the evening news again.

Carry on.

‘Elp! ‘Elp!

Our postings have been buried under a big pile of cowshit.

Believe.

‘Elp! ‘Elp! I’m Being Externalized!

To quote Dennis,

“This is what I’m on about!”

The Washington Post had this article about the way big farms resist facing the true costs of their industrial agriculture model. They want the public to pay the external cost for their economies of scale.

Some excerpts:

This summer, the state Air Resources Board ruled that any existing farm with more than 1,000 milk cows had to apply for a permit on the grounds that dairies — which release volatile organic compounds and ammonia — rank as major polluters. Volatile organic compounds create smog when combined with nitrogen oxide, while ammonia reacts with that smog to form fine-particle pollution.

Dairy farmers have assailed the science underlying the rules and blocked a plan that would have made them install technology to capture methane and other gases that cows emit.

“We’re not convinced our cows are worse than all the cars and trucks in the world,” said Michael Marsh, who heads Western United Dairymen, which represents just over half of the area’s 1,900 dairy farmers. Marsh estimates that installing manure digesters could cost the industry $1 billion. “If we’re going to have this kind of mandate, how are we going to pay for it?” he asked.

Tom Mendes’s family has been dairy farming in California’s Central Valley for three generations, ever since his grandfather arrived from Portugal. But Mendes has told his 19-year-old son not to follow him into what he calls a dying way of life.

Smallholder note: Perhaps the Mendes family should consider grass-based dairying. There are many families making a living with a lot less land and fraction of the cows. Without polluting or externalizing other costs to their neighbors.

Residents have formed a citizens’ group to fight large dairy producers. Tom Frantz, a Shafter native who heads the Association of Irritated Residents, said area farms are “like a factory in your midst.”

“We’re really irritated because our lungs are being used as an agricultural subsidy,” said Frantz, who has asthma. His group notified farmer Rick Vanderham this month that residents plan to sue him for building a new 2,800-cow dairy without a Clean Air Act permit.

California’s debate is not unique: Public health advocates in states includingNorth Carolina and Iowa have pushed to regulate hog, poultry and dairy farms — known as “confined animal feeding operations” — with varying degrees of success.

In the Washington area, farms account for more than 30 percent of the pollutants that cause “dead zones” in the Chesapeake Bay — where algae blooms deplete the oxygen, and fish and crabs cannot breathe. Maryland, Virginia and Pennsylvania have all tried to make farmers reduce the amount of fertilizer and manure washing off their fields.

God forbid that the polluters be stopped from passing on their pollution to the commons!

Large-scale livestock farms have mushroomed in recent decades — 5 percent of U.S. farms now account for 54 percent of beef and dairy cattle, according to the Agriculture Department — presenting a new challenge to regulators. Environmental Protection Agency officials began investigating the massive operations in the mid-1990s after nearby residents complained of respiratory and eye problems.

The government scored some initial wins: Missouri-based Premium Standard Farms agreed to monitor emissions at its hog farms in 1999, and the company has spent $9.5 million on technology that converts hog waste and emissions into commercial dry fertilizer. But Bush administration officials ordered the EPA to stop investigating farm emissions in 2001.

Last month, the administration struck a deal with more than 2,700 livestock firms, exempting them from prosecution for air pollution violations until mid-2008 while the agency researches the issue. Each firm must contribute $2,500 to help fund a study of two dozen livestock operations and pay a penalty on a sliding scale to address past violations.

“What the agency is trying to do is figure out the best way to get the most information, in a comprehensive way, in the most expeditious manner to determine if a problem may exist,” said Jon Scholl, counselor to the EPA administrator for agriculture policy.

David Townsend, Premium Standard’s vice president for environmental affairs, and other industry officials praised the deal, saying, “You have to have some reasonable data to say where [the industry] needs to go.”

Environmentalists, on the other hand, assailed the pact as an industry giveaway. Aloma Dew, a Sierra Club organizer in Kentucky who monitors poultry farms, said: “It’s not just a stink that’s coming out of these farms. It’s a real health threat.”

The Maximum Leader posted a link to an excellent essay concluding that, while Democrats are delusional, Republican politicians are liars. If Bush really believed in the market, he would accept the fact that the internalization of costs is neccessary for an efficient economy. He would support the entrepreneurial little guy and not the largest 5% of farms. He has continued subsidy programs that DO NOT help small farms - instead dooming them by continuing the public subsidization of the “get big” mentality that keeps farm prices “low” (See my previous post), reducing the amount of money that small farmers can earn from their smaller production. Good golly, but it makes me want to be a Libertarian!

Repeat after me:

Subsidies and environmental exemptions do NOT save the family farm. They force the public to pay for an inefficient economic model: factory farms.

If you get the government out, sanity will return to the agricultural market place and farmers with a will to survive will.

Big Farms = Cheap Food For The Masses

The most common defense of factory farming is that it produces cheap food.

I call bullshit on that.

Your 1.09/lb chicken breasts do not actually cost 1.09/lb.

Adam Smith talked about how the invisible hand of personal interest would lead to the most efficient production of goods and the common weal of a society.

People, supposedly rationally, would vote with their dollars, therefore allowing the wisdom of crowds to more efficiently allocate production that those moronic central planners.

Well, the rationality of consumers is an open question. A question tellingly answered by the existence of advertising firms.

Assume for a moment that consumers are rational - will this still result in a society in which the rational forces of the market serve the common weal?

Only if external costs are incorportated (internalized?) into the prices we see for goods on the shelves.

For example, if a factory dumps cyanide byproducts into a stream, the resulting environmental degradation, deaths, cancer, clean-up, lost production in other affected areas, and generally reduced quality of life for the domiciles of downstream dwellers are not reflected on the package price. So the consumer says “Wow! Hairspray for only $1 a can! Awesome! I’ll take 20!” The consumer gets a cheap product and the manufacturer gets a quick profit. But the consumer loses and the society as a whole suffers.

If the costs of the clean-up were incorportated into the price by requiring the company to avoid the spill or mitigate its effects, maybe the can of hairspray would cost $2. If consumers still buy it, it is now safe to say that hairspray production is efficient. But if the hairspray cannot be made without polluting for less than $20/can, perhaps that money is better spent elsewhere.

Even if the consumer is aware of the environmental cost, the consumer is going to pay that cost in higher taxes and shorter life expectancy whether or not they personally benefit from the cheap hairspray. So they might as well buy the cheap hairspray and look good in their little cheap consumer casket. This is called the “tragedy of the commons.”

Believers in the power of the invisible hand ought to insist on the internalization of costs. Big factory farms extrnal costs all over the place.

The cost of that cheap chicken is e-coli-rich effluent, erosion, higher gas prices, and pollution. The expitation of the workers in the polutry plants (read “Fast Food Nation”) also leads to other external costs. In Harrisonburg, the city had to spend $42,000,000 on a new high school because the immigration encouraged by unskilled poultry processing jobs has led to an influx of children who have many special (read: expensive) needs, whether they are ESL, Special Ed, or disciplinary costs. The city has also seen a huge increase in crime as a result of the new urban underclass that has developed. I don’t know how you would put a dollar sign on it, but the all-encompassing stench of confined chicken and turkey houses sits like a sick miasma over the city. How much have the residents of Harrisonburg sacrificed in property values in order to have cheap chicken?

My small farm can’t necessarily compete in quantity with the big boys. But if the big boys were not being subsidized by the rest of society, my environmentally friendly beef would be cheaper.

Plus, it just tastes better.

Big farms and small farms

The Maximum Leader’s link to the Louisiana small farmers who began marketing their own milk is a good example of what farmers ought to be doing.

Farmers have had a problem - ever since tobacco prices fell in the Eighteenth century - of trying to compensate for falling prices by increasing production.

I’ll pause while you recall your high school economics course.

The process continues today with the “get big or get out” mentality of most mainstream farmers. These are the same folks who, with farms encompassing square miles of land, cry that they need government subsidies.

But those two Lousiana farmers said, “Screw this! We’ll stay small but become profitable by cutting out the price-setting middleman.” Milk processors are a damned oppresive pseudo-monopoly. Three firms control 90% of the milk processing in the United States and they purposefully keep milk prices down. Farmers today get the same amount for their milk that they got in 1970 yet the price of milk keeps rising. Most farmers react by buying more cows, producing more milk, and selling to the same collectives at the same 1970 price.

But those Louisiana farmers said, let’s just pasteurize the milk ourselves and find our own customers. Milk processors are giving abour 22 cents per pound - around 16 cents once trucking and advertising contributions are subtracted. That’s about $1.20 a gallon gross milk check. Start subtracting the cost of feeding the cows, raising replacements, and equipment loans, it is not a winning proposition.

But if you pasture feed your cows, stay small, avoid building gargantuan kilometer-long barns and multi-million dollar manure lagoons, you still get $1.20 per gallon. Sure, you’ll actually produce less milk without grain supplements, but your healthier cows will last longer, you can sell more heifers to the “sheep” farmers who get “big” (and bankrupt), and you won’t have the debt to service. You’ll make more b producing less. If you are smart like the Louisiana farmers and find your own market, you can jump your price to $3.00 or more per gallon (I would get $6 in Albemarle). That is a winning proposition.

Kudos to the enlightened state of Lousiana (who thought I’d ever write that phrase!) which has allowed agripreneurs to seize the market for themselves and make small farms profitable. Virginia’s requirements for a pasteurization system are so huge as to be an impenatrable barrier to entry for the small farmer. One farm in Timberville, Virginia did borrow a couple of million dollars to set up an approved pasteurization facility. They pulled in money hand over fist - but couldn’t keep up with the banknote (though they also seemed to suffer from the “get big” syndrome). I wonder who that barrier to entry protects? Could it be the consumer? Or the politically connected milk processors?

Government regulation that squelches intitiative, consumer options, and favors powerful business over the little guy makes me want to join the Libertarian party.

At any rate, I was saddened to see that the potential sustainability of two small Lousiana dairy farms has been compromised by poor inter-familial relationships. Can’t we all just get along?

First Hurdle for Roberts Court

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader was greatly disappointed at the overall calibre and tenor of the questioning of John Roberts before the Senate Judiciary Committee. His feelings are entirely non-partisan Both Democratic and Republican Senators opted for giving long diatribes in front of cameras instead of actually asking questions. Your Maximum Leader believes that the hearings would have been completed in about 45 minutes if they had actually been a question and answer session.

Of course, many Senators did their damnest to find out how John Roberts’ brain works on the question of Roe v. Wade. Little did they know that the question they should have been asking was could a federal judge overturn a state probate court ruling in the case of a horny old man who wanted to nail a trashy stripper with huge (if artificial) tits?

Indeed, it seems like our white-trashy “friend” Anna Nicole Smith is going to have her day in front of the Supreme Court of the United States of America. Which (we hope) will be lead by newly minted Chief Justice John Roberts. Who knew?

Your Maximum Leader would have paid good money to see some Senator ask, “Judge Roberts, what is your opinion of strippers with big boobies cashing in on the estate of their late octagenarian husband to the detrement of the late husband’s estranged son? And I’d like to follow-up Mr Chairman… What does Judge Roberts think about huge fake boobies? Does he like them? Does he feel that getting fake boobies is a right protected by the Constitution?”

Yeah… That would have been great.

Carry on.

Sad Story

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader will pass along this sad story of two small farmers (father and son) torn apart by the recent Hurricanes.

Very sad indeed.

Carry on.

Own a Little Bit of Lord N.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader sees that a private owner is selling one of Horatio Lord Nelson’s undershirts. One tailored for his lordship after he lost his arm at the Battle of Santa Cruz. This shirt is said to be one of the only pieces of Nelson’s clothing “still in private hands.” That seemed a little odd. Did the British Government buy all of Nelson’s stuff after his death at Trafalgar in 1805? Your Maximum Leader has read a lot about Nelson, but he must have missed that little tidbit.

Anyho… Half a million for a one-armed undershirt? It seems like a bit much… But if you Maximum Leader had the cash lying about doing nothing he might go for it.

Carry on.

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