Smallholder with his son’s Godfathers.

From left to right are the Maximum Leader, Smallholder, and the Foreign Minister.

Hold yourselves back, ladies. We’re taken.

Jack protests the ritual. “It burrrrrnnnsss ussss, nassssty protessssstants!”

At Sweet Seasons Farm, it is our tradition to eat flesh to commemorate major life events. The Minister of Propaganda joined us in roasting a home-grown pig for Jack’s party, an activity that requires the copious consumption of beer. The above picture is proof that your Naked Villains are real, rootin’-tootin’, carnivorous, manly men among men. Well, all of us except for Fabienne.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader sees on the news wire that one Joseph Krist, an inmate in the Wilson County (TX) jail, found a way to lock himself in a cell with eight women inmates.

Krist was discovered after 11 hours of “detention” with the women.

The Sherriff is quoted as saying, “Everyone says nothing happened, they only talked.”

Indeed.

Your Maximum Leader suspects they also read the Bible, drank milk, and snacked on oreos.

Carry on.

‘Tis one of the loyal minions, Sadie….just thought I’d pass though and moon everyone.

Whew. That was mighty liberating. This is Naked Villainy, after all. When in Rome…

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is returned. He is sorry for leaving you all in the lurch on Friday. The day sort of got away from him. He had lots of items on which he wanted to opine and comment, but in the end he opted to spend time with the Villainettes before leaving for his weekend away with Mrs. Villain.

He did post something on Friday though… He posted over on Sadie’s site. He had meant to mention it here, bt it must have slipped his mind.

Excursus: Sadie, God Bless her little wedded self, recommended “From Dusk Till Dawn” as a vampire stripper movie you Maximum Leader should view. Indeed, From Dusk Till Dawn is the first vampire stripper movie title that pops into his mind when the whole oeuvre is mentioned. He thinks he might actually have that film on tape somewhere… (It might be worth a $9.99 DVD purchase if he sees it in a bargain bin.) As Sadie points out, Jennifer Love Hewitt is not in From Dusk Till Dawn, but it does have the oh-so-delectable Salma Hayek. Salma is on “the list.” Grrr-baby!

You know, Jennifer Love Hewitt has never done a vampire stripper movie. On the whole this is a good move from the perspective of keeping her sweet-wholesome image intact. But if she ever were to do a vampire stripper flick, rest assured your Maximum Leader would be there to see it.

In other news…

At some point this week we may hear from the Smallholder again. He’s had a bout with poison ivy recently that has pretty much precluded him from doing much but suffering. We hope that it has cleared up enough that he will be able to log in and blog a little.

If we don’t hear from Smallholder, it looks like another week of just your Maximum Leader. (Hint, hint to others.)

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader knows that somewhere in Las Vegas, Nevada, loyal minion Sadie and her Irish Lad are being married.

Your Maximum Leader doffs his bejeweled floppy hat in their direction and wishes them a hearty congratulations.

Treat her right Lad… Or your Maximum Leader will find you. And “ill” will befall you.

Excursus: How’s that for wedding wishes?

Sadie & Lad - may you have a wonderful life together.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is still suffering the affects of that bee sting he mentioned yesterday. He can hardly walk as his left foot has swollen massively. It is also blistering too. He saw his physician this morning. Not much he can do at this stage… But if recovery doesn’t begin by tomorrow another trip to the doctor might be in order.

So… In an effort to put up something to keep his minions happy we have the following link dump (with pithy commentary).

First off, no commentary needed. Gordon is, as they would say on ESPN, en fuego. Two very funny updates recently. Part Three of “2040″ and a great car commercial.

Readers at Smith College should know that a Titan Arum is blooming in your conservatory. Please hie thee hence to see (and smell) the official flower of the Mike World Order.

Excursus… Your Maximum Leader chuckles at his own unintended humour. Readers at Smith College. HA! Your Maximum Leader would give a Naked Villainy t-shirt to any reader of this site who can prove they attend, or recently attended, Smith College. (Recently means graduated within the past 10 years.) Your Maximum Leader suspects that if the IT Department at Smith detected any user visiting this site a full-blown investigation would take place. If the visitor couldn’t prove that they were doing some sort of research on antideluvian conservative scum they would probably be shamed into leaving Smith…

Velociman was a clown… four words that should never have been strung together. Are we sure that post was from the V-man. Perhaps it was the Mutant just casting aspersions.

Did you know that an alternate definition of “aspersion” is “to sprinkle with holy water?” That is an etymology your Maximum Leader would like to understand. How does one go from “disparaging remark” to “sprinkling with holy water?” If you can ’splain it, your Maximum Leader would like to hear from you. (Even if you went or are going to Smith College.) Probably something with latin roots of the word and casting out demons…

Berliners (the people who live in Berlin that is - not the jelly doughnuts) should learn that you never, ever, EVER, feed wild pigs. One day they will graduate from eating your garbage to gnawing on your “kinder” as it were.

Who knew there was a Monkeypox outbreak in the US recently? Not your Maximum Leader. But it seems that the “outbreak” was limited in scope because smallpox vaccinations received by people decades before still had a prophylactic effect on the vaccinees. Good news. Your Maximum Leader got a smallpox vaccination. He wanted to give the same vaccination to the Villainettes and Wee Villain too. But no vaccine is available for non-emergency use. Why wait for an emergency? Why not just start vaccinating Americans against smallpox? Why create an elaborate plan to cope with a bio-attack using smallpox when we can just start vaccinating people now…

Hey… Henry Miller at NRO says we should bring back DDT for use against mosquitos. Damn straight we should. Your Maximum Leader has said as much before.

BRING BACK DDT!!!!

And on a closing note.. Your Maximum Leader is dismayed about the prospects of the new Nationals Baseball field in DC. You can read all about the project here (from the Washington Post). Allow your Maximum Leader to make a few comments. First off, your Maximum Leader wouldn’t want to be associated with any architectural plan in the city. People with taste and class are ignored. Secondly, sites that make sense are rejected out of hand. Thirdly, any baseball field that is not oriented so that looking out beyond the outfield gives one a view of the Capitol Dome (and the Washington Monument) is a failure. And finally, no matter what they build, no one will be happy about it.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader’s bachelor-dom ened last Friday night about 8:30pm. Mrs. Villain and the Villainettes and the wee Villain arrived home from the beach. They were tanned, rested, and hyper. The Wee Villain was particularly hyper. He is now walking all over the place. But he has developed a bad habit. He is now at the “I’ll point at something and scream at the top of my lungs until I get it” stage. So the peace that your Maximum Leader enjoyed at the Villainschloss last week was now often shattered by his Villainous Son screaming as hard as he could.

Other than that, it is good to have everyone back. The Villainettes are very good company. Indeed Villainette #2 and your Maximum Leader watched a baseball game (or two) on TV. Nationals vs. Padres. We were disappointed as the Padres swept their 3 game series with the Nats. (But your Maximum Leader is sure that Brian B, and a few others are happy.)

Sunday afternoon your Maximum Leader went out to help Mrs. Villain do some yard work. She was weeding the garden. Your Maximum Leader chose to mow the grass. Well, although he was in a long-sleeved T-shirt, sweatpants, socks, and shoes he got stung by a bee. Probably one of those ground-dwelling yellow-jackets.

Your Maximum Leader was stung 4 times by bees about two weeks ago. Same type. He had a very bad reaction to the stings. He later snuck out and poured gasoline down the bee-hole and killed the little bastards. The one that got him last night was in a different part of the yard altogether. Indeed, neither your Maximum Leader nor Mrs. Villain had any knowledge that the bees were there. (And if we had foreknowledge, we would have killed the bees.)

But your Maximum Leader now has a massively swollen ankle and lots of pain to show for one bee sting. He is contemplating gassing the whole yard just to be sure. Damned bees.

So… Due to bee stings, your Maximum Leader is in a surly mood.

He might go light on blogging today.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader’s faux-bachelor days are ending. Although he doesn’t know precisely when. He has not yet heard from Mrs. Villain on when she will be returning to the Villainschloss.

Depending on how you wanted to read that, this could be a very good or very bad turn of events. Very good in that maybe she will spend another day at the beach and give your Maximum Leader one more day on his own. Or very bad in that she never wants to see your Maximum Leader ever again.

Actually, your Maximum Leader is pretty sure it is for former and not the latter. But on the off chance it is the latter loyal minions who would like to apply to be the Villainous Consort are welcome to apply directly. All vitas and photos will be held in strictest confidence until such time as a position becomes available…

Well… Last night your Maximum Leader went to the final game of the LA Dodgers v. Washington Nationals series. In case you didn’t hear about it, the Nats demolished the Dodgers 7-0. It was great to be there. But once again little things annoyed your Maximum Leader. Like the concessions stands all around his section being out of pizza in the sixth inning. (They had some by the 7th, but he couldn’t have cared then.) And not a single vendor having a fitted home cap in size 7 3/8. Not one. They really need to work on their logistics.

Anhyho…

Tonight your Maximum Leader had planned on getting some crab cakes and corn for dinner. But since Monday didn’t go well with crab cakes he’s decided to get chinese from his favourite place in town. And if he is lucky he can flirt shamelessly with the owner of the restaurant.

Then hours and hours of Rome:Total War are in order. Surprisingly, he hasn’t played a single computer game this week. He thought he might sneak some in at some point, but its not happened yet.

Humm… He might actually give Mrs. Villain a call and see when she’ll be back. He does actually miss her and his villainous offspring quite a bit.

Carry on.

I just got back from a 6 week trip to the States which had me traveling to NJ, FL, PA and the last 3 weeks in VA. The jetlag thing is crushing us right now as the little ones are not even thinking about getting tired till about 11PM.

One of the Highlights of the trip was meeting the other ministers at Small Holders sprawling farm in Charlottesville.

It was a truly delightful time.

I think I was up to bat for the Men’s club thingy… sorry I dropped the ball but I did not have steady e-mail access while away so I only had a vague idea when it was my turn and no computer.

Next time…

Speaking of Men’s club/ Diva issues, I don’t think I got my login stuff from Sadie. If its not too late, can you hook me up?

Back to the trenches….

Go Dodgers! Think Blue!

Believe.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader, effective about one hour ago, became a bachelor for the next 5 days.

On the one hand, he will very badly miss the Villainettes and Mrs. Villain. But on the other hand he will only have to share the Villainschloss with his faithful and trusty hound.

He can already hear the deafening sound of silence around him.

And it is glorious.

He does have some stuff planned. For instance tonight he has to do some bachelor shopping. He needs to buy some victuals for this week. Also, he may go and rent a naughty movie. Dinner will be from his favourite chinese place in town. He may pick it up instead of require delivery. This will allow him to engage in playful banter with the drop-ead gorgeous proprietor of said restaurant.

Tomorrow night he is going to the Nationals/Dodgers game.

Wednesday night he is planning on coming home and cooking himself a big ole Delmonico Steak and a massive lobster. He will wash it down with some Egri Bikaver. Then he plans of finishing the bottle of Egri Bikaver while watching Burton and Taylor in “The Taming of the Shrew.”

Thursday night is open.

Friday night is going to be crab cakes, cole slaw, and fresh corn. It will be washed down with cold beer and followed by hours upon hours of playing Rome: Total War.

He may also find time to blog a little…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader bids you welcome to his humble new home. It comes to you through the creative and technical talents of Apothegm Designs. (If you have a blog and want to make it better - shoot them an email at: apothegmdesigns -at-gmail -dot- com.)

As you can see there are comments and trackbacks. There is also a functioning RSS/XML feed (just for you Dr. Rusty.)

For now the comments are unmoderated and will allow unregistered commenters. If this becomes a problem, your Maximum Leader will likely change his position on comments and require moderation of comments and registration.

One frequent reader has said the site looks a little funereal. Funereal? Your Maximum Leader will have you know that the stunning header graphic is a combination of photos of Westminster Hall in London. (If you’ve never been to visit, your Maximum Leader recommends it. Westminster Hall is one of the most beautiful medieval structures in the world. We have King Richard II of England to thank for it.) He doesn’t think it looks funereal at all. Indeed, it has turned out better than the conceived in his mind.

So, as your Maximum Leader said, welcome to the new and improved Naked Villainy blog. If you are really excited about it (and every sane minion should be) celebrate by buying a t-shirt or mug or something.

Over the next few days you may notice little changes here and there. The addition of more archived posts, the tweaking of the blogroll, perhaps the addition of Blogads. But the writing will be the same bloggy goodness you’ve come to expect from your Maximum Leader and his ministerial cronies.

Carry on.

Check out this Wikipedia entry, which summarizes every chapter of Harry Potter and the Half-blood Prince.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader wants you all to know that this is still a test site. Some work still needs to be done to make everything a-okay.

When all is done the archives will be up and this site will be moved to nakedvillainy.com. That way you don’t need to change any bookmarks or links.

Feedback appreciated. Click through on the “Obsequious Petitions” to leave a comment.

Your Maximum Leader is still working on a comment policy btw…

Carry on.