If Sadie is taking a break, is it okay to bust her chops with impunity?

I mean, I do it to the poor Minister of Propaganda whenever he is on location…

Via Annika, I found this funny little site.

My monster name is:

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Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is in Toronto right now. Bright clear day. Very pleasant overall. Unfortunately, the WiFi system at his hotel is not functioning and no one seems to know when it will be up and running. So your Maximum Leader is in a PC Bahang as it were checking on e-mails and such.

He thinks he is going to go to the Hockey Hall of Fame today if he has any free time. He might be lucky enough to catch a Leafs game on Wednesday night…

After watching some hockey on TV your Maximum Leader’s ill will towards the league is beginning to fade…

Anyho… Limited blogging still the expectation…

Carry on.

I don’t have to put up with the Minister of Propaganda’s threats!

If Rob doesn’t learn to play nice, I’m taking my ball and going home.

Don’t think I haven’t forgotten that Mormon girl you didn’t hook up with at Longwood.

Who went on to derail my Sophomore year.

Thanks a lot, buddy.

I think the MOP’s two week absence is going to be fun…

In case you feel the need to comfort Kate, here are the driving directions.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader would like to give advanced warning to all loyal readers. He will blog little to none-at-all during the period from October 16 to October 21. He will be away from the Villainschloss and traveling to Toronto, Canada between those dates. It looks like he might have some free time in Toronto during that time and may be able to meet up with any Toronto area readers.

(FYI, he is not going to Toronto to get involved with the Sex Party. In case you were wondering.)

If he is lucky he might catch a Leafs game. (Ick… The only available game would be Toronto v Carolina. He would have hoped for a contest against one of the original NHL franchises… Born under a bad sign…)

If you are interested in trying to meet your Maximum Leader, send him an e-mail. Address listed on left side nav bar.

Carry on.

Our postings have been buried under a big pile of cowshit.

Believe.

The Villainous Upgrade to Movable Type Version 3.2 has been completed.
In the words of our Maximum Leader: “Carry On“

I am preparing a post, but need your help.

Please send the Maximum Leader a picture of you exercising your right to bear arms.

And, yes, Minister of Propaganda, you ought to trust me.

I imagine that the Foreign Minister has hundreds of photos of his gun-brandishing self. The MOP ought to have a few pics from his military service. I’m not sure whether the Air Marshal or Poer Laureate are gun nuts.

And should Sadie be included in the sample since she has posting rights, even if those rights are only exercised in drive-by moonings?

Has anyone noticed that Sadie’s advertisment seems to be specifically designed to exclude the Minister of Propaganda:

“Political leanings falling between moderate and conservative”

Sadie, I think the MOP would make a great co-blogger at Fistful of Fortnights. He could be the Bruce to your Cybill.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader does not wish ill to befall North Carolina, or Southeastern Virginia… But he did hope that Tropical Storm/Hurricane/Tropical Storm Ophelia might have made landfall and quickly progressed northward over land.

Mainly because we haven’t gotten a drop of rain at the Villainschloss for nigh on 3 weeks. It is nasty dry out there. Mrs Villain’s garden has given up the ghost and your Maximum Leader’s rose bushes are on the virge of being cut back and prepared for winter….

Need rain…

Carry on.

Thanks, everyone, for the outpouring of concern, but let me assure you that, despite today’s power failures in Los Angeles, I am a-okay. Although I did get cut-off midway through a semi-important phone conversation, there’s no need to send food or water: your love is enough to carry me through the crisis.

I think I’m going to delay this afternoon’s Home Depot visit until they get the traffic unsnarled.

Believe.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader will jump on the bandwagon of pointing readers to relief organizations. Although he knows that his loyal readers should have already found those sites on their own.

As he always does, your Maximum Leader commends to you the American Red Cross and the Salvation Army.

He also wants to point out a way you can be both selfish and giving all at once. Bid on a website services from Apothegm Designs. (Bid money gets donated.)

Your Maximum Leader also endorses Catholic Charities USA as a worthwhile and noble organization for your donations.

Glenn Reynolds seems to have the most comprehensive list of charities over on Instapundit.

Give money if you are able. Give your time and effort if you are able. And keep the people affected in your thoughts, prayers, and mediations.

Carry on.

A little snarkyness below the fold…
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Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader extends his warmest fraternal happy birthday wishes to the Big Hominid. Today, August 31, 2005 is the 36th anniversary of his birth. As he himself points out, that is three times round the asian zodiac. So that has got to be worth something.

As long-time readers of this blog know, the Big Hominid is the Poet Laureate of the Mike World Order. He has on occasion been known to sing the praises of your Maximum Leader, and even tell of your Maximum Leader’s heroic origins.

This year Kevin re-ran his birthday post for your Maximum Leader. Well, turnabout is fair play (and your Maximum Leader could think of nothing new and interesting to write…) Below is the text of the post your Maximum Leader wrote for the Big Hominid’s birthday last year. He presents the Big Hominid Creation myth…

As we have all learned from Joseph Campbell, there are archetypes within the various religious and spiritual traditions of the world. After much careful research, your Maximum Leader can now illuminate for you, his dear minions, the similarities in the Big Hominid creation myth from the various world traditions.

According to the Nordic tradition, from the Ginnungagap (the emptiness) came Audhumla. Audhumla was the first creature, the primeval cow in fact. From Audhumla’s teats flowed the four rivers of milk which fed the next creature, Ymir the frost giant. Ymir spawned many frost giants who inhabited the world and became the enemies of the gods. During the time of the frost giants Audhumla found a salt lick to sustain herself. As she licked the salt, she created the first man, Buri. In time Buri found a mate and their child Bor was the father of the god Odin (Wotan for you Wagnerians out there). But after the creation of Buri, the tale of Audhumla fades. Your Maximum Leader has pieced together ancient runes and discovered that after creating Buri from the salt lick, Audhumla became constipated. She wandered throughout Midgard and Asgard seeking relief. After the Gods defeated the frost giants, Audhumla was found near Valhalla by Thor. Seeing her constipated state, Thor struck Auhumla on the flank with his hammer. A great torrent of manure flew from Audhumla. The manure mixed on the earth with her life-giving milk and formed a great boiling pit. Seeing the festering pit, the god Odin foresaw the eventual coming of a great being who would alternately use his powers equally for good and ill. Odin foresaw that the liquid would coalesce into a child. A child who would be known by his nom-de-blog, the Big Hominid…

According to the Greco-Roman tradition, Cronos (the titan and ruler of the heavens) ate the children he produced with his wife-sister Rhea. But Rhea determined to save one of her children. So she gave a stone wrapped in swaddling clothes to Cronos. Cronos, distracted by Gaia the earth-mother doing a striptease, ate the stone thinking it was his newborn son. The son grew to be Zeus. Zeus, in a fit of teenaged pique, faught his father and forced him to vomit up his siblings (Poseidon, Hades, Hera, Hestia, and Demeter); who joined Zeus in deposing his father and becoming the ruling gods. The little known postscript to this tale is that after vomiting up the siblings of Zeus, Cronos shat out the stone he’d eaten believing it to be Zeus. The feces-encrusted stone fell to the earth and it landed in the sea. The titan feces mixed with the same sea foam that would later spawn Aphrodite. The floating morass of titan feces infused sea foam drifted across the seas. It caused the destruction of Atlantis, and helped keep the sea monster Kraken entombed in the sea. But its greatest creation would come much later. That creation/spawn was to be the scatalogically preordained being, the Big Hominid…

According to the Indian tradition, Vishnu was walking one day and a lotus flower blossomed from his navel. Brahma sprung forth from the lotus blossom and set about creating the world. The oft forgotten part of the story is that after the lotus flower sprang forth from Vishnu’s navel, a Titan Arum blossomed from his anus and from that odourous flower were sprung a line of men who would join together the world of spirituality and scatology. It is said that this line of men continues to this day, and that the Big Hominid is known in some parts of rual India and Nepal as the 69th incarnation of the Rectali Lama…

Now you all can see the similarities of the various Hominidal creation stories. Accept them for what they are. And be joyous in your celebration of the anniversary of the birth of the one and only Big Hominid.

And if you are feeling really celebratory… Buy his book.

Carry on.