Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is watching his beloved Green Bay Packers play the Philadelphia Eagles on Monday Night Football (on ESPN HD).

As he types these words, the Second Quarter of the game has just begun. The score is Packers 3 - Eagles 0. The Pack have looked pretty good so far.

Your Maximum Leader is secretly praying that the game ends soon.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader saw the stories.

First he tried to kill himself… Then he was just “out of it” and his publicist called 9-1-1. Then… Well who knows what is going on?

Admit it…

Just a moment after reading the first headlines you were shocked.

A moment after that you were having a weird Richard Cory moment.

Then you shook your head and sort of wished he did it.

Admit it… You sorta did.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader should file this brief post under the heading of “Turn about is fair play” or “Be wary before you celebrate a sub-.500 team’s victory.”

Tuesday’s victory (lauded in this space yesterday) is followed by bitter defeat on Wednesday.

In other Nationals news (sorry for the continued writing about a last-place-in-their-division-team for those of you who don’t care…), there are more rumours that Hall-of-Fame Player and current Nats manager Frank Robinson will not return as skipper next year. Your Maximum Leader happens to like Frank Robinson a lot. While it seems (from what is written) that Robinson might not be the greatest coach, it could be because today’s players are soft and coddled. Robinson is not a cute and cuddly type of guy. If the Nationals send Robinson packing, your Maximum Leader hopes that MLB (or perhaps the Baltimore Orioles) will give Robinson a front office job.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader had the pleasure of being in attendance last night as his Washington Nationals Baseball Club “gave the business” to the Atlanta Braves. The final score was Nationals - 9, Braves - 2.

Your Maximum Leader would be a lying fool if he said that he didn’t feel a little pang of emotion at seeing the Braves get manhandled. Longtime readers know that untl the Nationals came to DC, your Maximum Leader was a Braves fan. But, with the witnessing of this victory, your Maximum Leader feels that his Braves days are behind him.

Now there is another baseball quandry confronting your Maximum Leader… That of baseball history. Yes, baseball history… Namely, do the Washington Nationals “assume” the historical stats and legacy of the old Washington Senators (of the American League) or do they “retain” the historical stats of the Montreal Expos (of the National League). The Washington Post has a nice peice on this subject which got your Maximum Leader to thinking about it at the game last night.

There doesn’t seem to be any consistent standard about who gets what records and legacy. Your Maximum Leader feels that, for the most part, records should be retained by the city that had the team, not the team if it relocates. He recognizes that Minnesota and Texas both lay claim to Washington’s baseball history (as both of those franchises were once the Washington Senators).

In the end there will likely be no firm answer to who gets to lay claim to whom or what. But it is an interesting debate nonetheless. But if they ask your Maximum Leader, he’d say to put the old Senator’s records in the books…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader, like many Americans, has spend nearly four days of his life in an orgy of self-indulgence. Yes dear readers, he’s been watching football since Thursday night.

He did not watch all that silly dancing and “singing” stuff they called a kickoff party. No. He did not. He watched pregame shows on ESPN. The shows with the manly men talking about manly things. The shows with commercials showing men in humourous situations or scantily-clad women offering beer to slake the thirst of sweaty men.

h yes… The sweet, sweet NFL season has begun.

Of course, if you happen to root for the Green Bay Packers (like your Maximum Leader does) you are getting ready for a loooooonnngg year. Your Maximum Leader is a Packers fan. And his is a great Brett Favre fan. But, it was apparent to your Maximum Leader that Brett Favre is not the quarterback of the future, or the qb of the “now,” with the Packers. It pains your Maximum Leader to say this. But, so long as Favre remains with the Packers they will not be able to rebuild and move on. It just will not happen.

The Packers organization should make Favre an offer. The offer is this, the Pack will make subtle trade offers to only teams that Favre would want to play for. If any of those teams are interested then a trade can be arranged. When Favre decides his playing days are over, there is always a home for him in the Green Bay organization. (There is also a one day contract with Favre’s name on it so he can retire a Packer.)

The Packers need to make this move because Brett Favre will not. And frankly, he probably shouldn’t. He loves the Packers. The fans love him. And Favre can still play football. In the right environment Favre can still be a top producer in the NFL. Your Maximum Leader used to think (last season and during the off season) that Favre should just retire. That was rather selfish thinking on your Maximum Leader’s part. Since Favre wasn’t the future of the Packers, then no one else should have him.

Brett Favre’s inner competitor still has lots of fight left in him. He needs to play. But what he needs to do is play with another team where he might platoon the QB with a younger player and start the job of mentoring. This is not a role he can play in Green Bay. He needs to move on to do it. Your Maximum Leader doesn’t think less of Joe Montana because he went to KC for a few years. Montana is always a 49er. But those years in KC helped that KC franchise greatly as well as many young players.

Perhaps Favre could go to DC and platoon the QB role with the Redskins. While this isn’t the “mentor the young guy” senario your Maximum Leader just laid out; it could still benefit both the player and the team. God only knows that the Redskins have the cash. And they’ve stolen top names from the Packers before (Vince Lombardi anyone?).

If Favre would take a backup role there are few limits to where he could go…

Of course, then there are the hometown Redskins. Your Maximum Leader thinks that the ‘Skins have a big problem. An offense that doesn’t seem to know what it is doing all the time. Much hay has been made over the huge “700 page” playbook that the ‘Skins are using this year. The undercurrent of this playbook size comment seems to be that football players are dumb and can’t learn that much. While this might be true in many cases, your Maximum Leader has met and known a number of serious football players in his life. Not many of them would be rocket scientist material, or even post-modern literature professors; but when it came to football they were smart. Very smart when it comes to their millieu. A 700 page playbook is not the whole problem. What is the problem is practice and making sure you have the right players in the right roles.

Watching the ‘Skins game, your Maximum Leader couldn’t figure out what the “theme” of the offense was. They didn’t seem to try to establish the run. They didn’t seem to try to establish a short passing game. They seemed to try a lot of different stuff and hope that something stuck.

So… It looks like your Maximum Leader’s teams, the Packers and the Redskins, are going to have long and unpleasant seasons. The Packers definately will. Indeed, if your Maximum Leader had to pick a number he’d say that the Packers could go 3-13 this year. (The can probably knock off the Lions twice and pick up one more game along the way.) The Redskins will probably be 9-7. (Though they might be 8-8.) Both the Packers and the Skins have seasons that look to be pretty tough.

If you have a (non-Dallas) eam that you think your Maximum Leader should pull for over some other team… Let him know… It might give him some comfort over the long season to occasionally root for a winner.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader isn’t sure why his post of last night didn’t show up until today. Not like it was a great post or anything… Just a hiccup in the Al Gore created internets or something…

Well, your Maximum Leader said that he was wasting his free time yesterday playing Rome:Total War and watching Monday Night Football. Since you, loyal minion, probably have no interest whatsoever in reading about the e-exploits of your Maximum Leader as leader of the Scipii faction as he has taken most of Greece and significant chunks of North Africa; he will instead regale you with his thoughts on Monday Night Football.

Frankly, your Maximum Leader didn’t give a hoot about the game. Raiders v. Vikings. It is preseason and they don’t count for anything. He would, instead, prefer to give catty assessments of his thoughts while watching the game.

First thought… Your Maximum Leader’s digital cable package doesn’t seem to inclue ESPN HD. And that sucks. He’ll have to rectify that situation right away.

Second thought… Vikings new uniforms are nothing to write home about. In fact, your Maximum Leader prefers the old ones. Second thought sub-a… What happened to the Viking painted on the midfield “grass?” The great Viking head is now replaced with some pseudo-funky “MV” in a san-serif font. For a moment your Maximum Leader wondered to himself, “MV? What the hell does that stand for? What happened to the Viking head?” The new owner is just indulging his wife and redesigning the uniforms and the grass for her to feel like she is part of the ownership experience… Oy! Is that a sexist thought or what?

Third thought… Your Maximum Leader loves Tony Kornheiser. But Tony seemed to be ready to void on himself at any moment. If there is a reason to broadcast Monday Night pre-season games it is let Tony get more at ease with himself on the show. Overall he gives Tony a C+ in his initial outing.

Fourth thought… Your Maximum Leader still doesn’t like Joe Thiesman. He never really has liked Joe. When he was QB of the ‘Skins - he was okay. As a broadcaster, he doesn’t do it for your Maximum Leader. Joe seemed to want to engage in banter with Tony, but it was forced sounding. That could have been because of Tony’s nerves.

Fifth thought… Michele Tafoya is a great sideline reporter, but your Maximum Leader would prefer a much younger, much hotter, much more suggestively dressed, vapid female sideline reporter. Your Maximum Leader has a soft spot in his black heart for Suzi Kolber. So she stays. But how about just giving the other mic to the various cheerleading squads to pass around? That would be more fun.

Sixth thought… Art Shell is one mean-looking S.O.B.

Seventh and final thought… He can’t wait for real games to begin…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has a question for you all… Does anyone make gum with sugar in it any more? Your Maximum Leader was at a convenience store yesterday and decided to pick himself up a pack of gum. He noticed that almost every package he considered was sugarfree. He didn’t notice any “sugared” gum for sale. Does anyone still make it? He’s sure some company does. He just doesn’t know which. Hummm…

Your Maximum Leader is considering dumping comments. This is not a reflection on any of his regular readers. But he’s been spending lots of time deleting spam comments from the site. Although he hasn’t counted them, he is sure there are 10 spam comments for every 1 legit comment. It is pissing your Maximum Leader off.

Did your Maximum Leader mention he was at the 10-9 San Diego Padres victory over his beloved Washington Nationals? He was there with almost all of his extended family. The whole villainous group numbered some 25 people. We were hoping for a Nats victory… But instead saw a 7-1 lead over the Padres disintegrate late in the game and disappear completely when pinch hitter Mike Piazza knocked one out of the park. Oy!

Speaking of the Nationals. The new owners are going to be doing a “grand reopening” of RFK stadium. They will be lowering some ticket prices. Installing more and better vendors in the stadium. And giving stadium employees customer service training… Your Maximum Leader doesn’t know if he’d be able to handle friendly, efficient stadium employees… It would be too dramatic a change.

Speaking of the Nationals… The Post has a nice peice on Alfonso Soriano up. It hints that he would like to stay in Washington. If that is the case, your Maximum Leader thinks it is wonderful. Improbable that he will, but wonderful that he would like to stay. Soriano is the type of player a manager could build a team with. But the Lerner’s long-term strategy of team-building means that Soriano (aged 30) would be well past his prime when the team should become competitive. If Soriano wants to win a World Series, or if he even wants to make the money he is capable of making; he will either push to be traded by the trade deadline or will entertai free-agent offers for next season. Unfortunately, it is a rare player who will sacrifice the possibility of a title and/or money to settle down and become a fixture in one city. Your Maximum Leader would love to see Soriano remain a National, but he wouldn’t have hard feelings if Soriano left DC.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader hasn’t watched a single World Cup match. But everyday he looks over the sports pages and sees who’s still in and who’s been sent packing. For those of you who might care here is the organized list of the nations your Maximum Leader is rooting on…

1) England
2) Austraila
3) Switzerland
4) Italy
5) Spain
6) Germany

Yup… Your Maximum Leader is witholding his affections from all Second/Third World nations. Frankly, if you’re not a European or Aussie your Maximum Leader is hoping you shed a tear in your beer and go home.

Carry on.

UPDATE: Our friend Basil Seal cites a Weekly Standard piece about soccer that fairly sums up your Maximum Leader’s sentiments on the matter. Here is the Weekly Standard piece.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader should just have called the past two Mondays “Smallholder Posting Days” and just saved any crap he planned on posting until Tuesday. Of course… The school year is nearly over. Tat means that the good Smallholder will retire to his farm for the season and Naked Villainy will return to being all Maximum Leader all the time…

Anyhoo…

Any of you minions who are Washington Nationals baseball fans might be thinking that a wild-card berth is in the Nats future. The Nats have won 7 of their past 10 games and 5 of 5 over the past few games. Allow your Maximum Leader (a Nats fan you know) to disabuse you of this notion. First off, they will return to RFK soon. And while they did well against the Dodgers last week at home, the Curse of Bobby Kennedy (a trademarked feature of the Llamabutchers) will likely strike them again.

Also, you’ve got to realize that the trade season is upon us in baseball. The Nats are sellers in a buyers market baby! Your Maximum Leader is sure that Soriano will be somewhere else come July. (He hopes in St. Louis and not in New York. Either New York team…) Frankly Livan Hernandez, if he keeps up his current streak, might also be dealt away. So might Jose Vidro. All these players are worth lots of minor leaguers and prospects. The new ownership of the Nats is dedicated to build the team through a strong scouting and farm system. The studs of now will be dealt to grow the studs of tomorrow. Let us (Nats fans at least) hope for the best.

UPDATE: Thomas Boswell and your Maxmium Leader. Same wavelength.

And in other sporting news… Your Maximum Leader is told that elsewhere in the world something called the World Cup will be starting on Friday. Your Maximum Leader might have missed this fact were it not for his minion Tilesey exhorting him to proudly support his Anglo heritage and root on jolly ole England.

As your Maximum Leader figures it, he could root for any of three national teams. The US of A, Scotland, or England. Since Scotland is out that narrows it down to two.

According to the World Cup area of ESPN, the US of A are playing in something called Group E. The other teams in Group E are Italy, Ghana, and the Czech Republic. Now… Knowing absolutely nothing about soccer, your Maximum Leader would guess that the serious competition in Group E for the US of A would be the Italian team and the team from Ghana. As much as he loves the Czechs as a people, they really ought to stick to hockey. That leaves Italy and Ghana. Your Maximum Leader seems to remember something about Italy’s team being embroiled in some sort of scandal back home. Something about bribing judges or sleeping with judges or calling judges funny names. So if the Italians are distracted by scandal, or more likely distracted by busty female fans exhorting them to come join them for antipasti; the Italians will not be much of a threat.

That leaves those pesky players from Ghana. They are one of the few teams from Africa. They likely are playing for pride. Pride in showing up all those “developed” nations by beating them on the soccer pitch. Sot it looks like Ghana will be the big threat to the US of A in this World Cup thingie…

Your Maximum Leader, as you can see from the above ramblings has no idea what he is blogging about on this subject. So, with no knowledge of soccer, he will have to resort to the second method for choosing who he should root for. Which team has the cooler jerseys. The US of A team jerseys look cooler than the English ones. Thus your Maximum Leader will couple his patriotic fervor with his keen fashion sense and root (root, root) for the US of A.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader sees that Sir Edmund Hilary is chastising recent climbers of Mt Everest for not stopping and trying to help a fellow climber who later died. As well he should. If a climber is in a position to help another climber in distress he should do so.

Of course, after reading Sebastian Junger’s “Into Thin Air” your Maximum Leader wonders if anyone nearing the summit of Everest is actually able to do anything for anyone else…

The 40 odd climbers who passed the dying man should have done more than they did regardless.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is pleased. Pleased that MLB has finally gotten off its collective arse and sold the Washington Nationals franchise to the investor group lead by Ted Lerner.

As your Maximum Leader has mentioned before, he has some indirect ties to the Lerner’s. He hopes these translate into some choice seats at a few games in upcoming seasons.

Speaking of upcoming seasons… They look to be rocky for the Nationals. According to Ted Lerner and Stan Kasten (who will be the new club President), the plan to build a strong franchise in DC is a long-term one. One that relies on good scouting, drafting, and an outstanding farm system. Just being able to type those words makes your Maximum Leader grin. Old school. Yes… The new owners are Old School. Just like your Maximum Leader…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minoins. Your Maximum Leader reads in the Washington Post that Major League Baseball is moving closer to awarding ownership of the Washington Nationals to the group lead by Ted Lerner. This move might be hastened along by the statements of DC Council Members Marion (”The bitch set me up” Barry and Vincent (I wanna be the mayor.) Orange. Barry and Orange stated that the Lerner group was “renting blacks” to further their ownship bid.

Apparently the comment isn’t having the intended affect…

Well… Allow your Maximum Leader to restate… If the intended effect of Councilmen Barry and Orange’s comment was to strengthen the resolve of MLB (aka Bud Selig) to award the team to the Lerners; then the statement is working as planned. If however the intended effect of the statement by Barry and Orange was to push Bud Selig nto giving more consideration to other groups with “significant” minority representation; then the statement didn’t work too well.

Frankly, your Maximum Leader is a supporter of the Lerner group. But more importantly, your Maximum Leader wants to see the team get owners as soon as possible. Your Maximum Leader is a thoughtful deliberative type, but the prevarication and delays by Bud Selig are amazing. Selig must be waiting for not just one, but mulitple burning bushes to appear and the Lord God himself give him guidance in this matter.

Bud, if you are reading this, just take the Lerner’s money and be done with it.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader went to the Nationals v Reds game yesterday has he mentioned. All your Maximum Leader can say about the game is that it wasn’t pretty… Unless you’re a Reds fan.

As much as your Maximum Leader attempted to direct his powerful personal ju ju towards the Nationals dugout… It was to no avail. At one point your Maximum Leader swore he heard the spectre of RFK himself yelling out “Get a life and… aaah… an ownah you… aaah… bums!”

Speaking of owners for the Nationals… Your Maximum Leader hopes the Lerner Group gets the team. (And soon!) It turns out that your Maximum Leader, indirectly of course, has some connections to the Lerner Group. These connections might translate into a game in the owners box (very infrequently) or at least dibs on some good season ticket seats.

But MLB - the bastards - aren’t in a rush to sell the team. (And your Maximum Leader says again about Bud Selig and MLB: “Bastards!”)

Anyho…

The game experience was marred by a concessions incident. It seems as though ever time your Maximum Leader goes to a Nats game there is a concessions incident. This time your Maximum Leader went to a concessionaire to buy two cokes and two hotdogs (one for your Maximum Leader and one for Villainette #2 - whom he’d taken out of school for a day at the ballpark). The concessionaire said that the hot dogs would be ready “In a minute.” Your Maximum Leader asked “They aren’t ready now?” They were not. The concessionaire said they would be ready in “less than a minute.” Well… 15 minutes later your Maximum Leader got his friggin hot dogs. Your Maximum Leader was greatly angered. It took every measure of self-control he had to keep from maiming some people.

Your Maximum Leader had hoped that they would have figured out how to sell hot dogs after one season… Apparently not…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is shaping up for a big sports day… At least to him.

He reads on ESPN that Brett Favre is going to return to the Packers and the frozen tundra of Lambeau Field for one more season as Quarterback.

This news is both pleasing and disappointing. The Packers Fan in your Maximum Leader is grateful to have a legend play for one more season. Even when he stinks Favre is an exciting player to watch and can single-handedly turn games around (for better or worse). So, as an emotional Packers Fan, your Maximum Leader is pleased.

But as a rational fan of the game your Maximum Leader knows that Favre should probably retire. He is not playing for records. He is not going to win a championship. And one hopes that he isn’t playing for the cash. At best he should consider accepting a cut in pay and “platooning” the starter job with another QB. He should help build the future of a franchise. Your Maximum Leader hopes it would be the Packers, but it could be some other team.

In the end, your Maximum Leader will abandon his rationality in this matter and just enjoy Favre’s last season.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is busy now trying to get all of his business attended to in a few hours so that he can go to the Nationals v Red Stockings game today at 1:05. It is too bad that the weather today is not a glorious as it was yesterday. Damn, yesterday was a perfect day for a baseball game.

Now your Maximum Leader can hope that the Nats can raise their record to 2-6 at home…

This is the first (non-weekend) day game your Mximum Leader has attended in a long time. In fact he believes the last (non-weekend) day game your Maximum Leader attended was a Cubs v. Cardinals game at Wrigley Field in Chicago. In 1999. So it has been a while.

Your Maximum Leader hopes all his minions will think of him as he’s enjoying a day at the olde ballpark…

Carry on.