Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader was perusing the news wires and he noticed a Reuters bit on the AVN awards in Las Vegas. For those of you unfamiliar with the abbreviation, AVN stands for Adult Video News. Or something to that extent. It really is hardly important. What is important is that the AVN’s are the “Oscars” of the porn industry.

Now, your Maximum Leader actually wouldn’t have commented at all about the AVN awards until he read one thing in the article. The total haul of the porn industry last year was about $12.6 billion (US dollars, not Canadian - in case Skippy is reading). The total haul of the regular release movie studio industry was $8.9 billion (US dollars).

That is: Porn = $12,600,000,000.00. Hollywood = $8,900,000,000.00.

Wow!

What else can one say other than wow?

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader reads on the news wire that the birth rate in Scotland was up last quarter. Indeed, it seems as though those wacky Scots are doing what they can to make sure the last Scot doesn’t die in 3021 (as currently projected). The article goes on to state the marriage rates were down. Death rates seemed to be down slightly or the same.

So this means that fewer old Scots are dying of surprise when their granddaughters come home and announce that Angus knocked her up a few months ago. Well, that and the fact that Fat Bastard must be out of the country.

Of course, if there are any nice Scottish lasses out there who want to have a baby they should contact your Maximum Leader… (wink, wink, nudge, nudge)

Carry on.

UPDATE: This is a good day for Scottish blogging. Your Maximum Leader discusses Scottish birth rates. Robbo the Llamabutcher discusses the anti-kilt state of Missouri; and the Colossus tells us that soon Scots will not be able to smoke in their homes.

What should we make of all this? Well… As best your Maximum Leader can tell it means that the last Scot will die in 3021 of exposure since he was no longer able to wear his kilt. After his death the last Scot’s very healthy lungs will be transplanted into the chest of a chain-smoking Chinese bagillionaire who would otherwise die of lung cancer.

The Scots will have begun written history as wild picts who scared the Romans into walling them off; and will end as an undersexed naked nanny-state dweller… A sad end to a noble race.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader sometimes wonders about our neighbours to the north. While not a libertine by any extent, your Maximum Leader is surprisingly open-minded about many things. But he is sorta creeped out by the whole concept of “swingers clubs.” He has no objection to legalized prostitution or legal brothels. But sex clubs cross some sort of a line he can’t describe. They seem so tawdry and… 70’s…

Anyhow… It seems as though private swingers clubs are perfectly fine in Canada. So if that’s your thing you now know where to go.

And while your there give Skippy a call. He needs some lovin.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader sees that Nick and Jessica are splitsville. He cannot say as though his is any of the following: surprised, excited, distressed, alarmed, concerned, grief-stricken. Indeed, he really doesn’t care too much. As drop-dead gorgeous as Jessica Simpson is (and she is quite a little hottie); she is no dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt. So if Jessica Simpson is your thing, have at it.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has a number of different things to do today, so this may be his only opportunity to blog today. As this might be his only post he will touch on a number of different topics. Pay attention.

First off, we are into the budget season in Congress. This time of year always amuses your Maximum Leader. You see the budgets were supposed to be completed last month. Congress (both the House and Senate) appear to have the whole legislative year to talk about the budget and prepare; but they don’t. Instead they wait until after the last minute and the work like crazy to get a budget passed. One could speculate (perhaps quite rightly) that part of the budgetary mess our Republic always finds itself is due in no small measure to the budget writing rush.

Anyhoo… It seems as though tax cuts are the hot topic du jour. As surprising as it may sound coming from your tax cutting Maximum Leader, this is not the time for new tax cuts. Your Maximum Leader is all for keeping the current taxes on everything as is. What is needed is spending control. At this point further tax cutting is diverting attention and political energy from budget cutting.

Your Maximum Leader will suggest to Republicans in Congress (and to the President) that their focus ought to be eliminating waste and cutting smallish programs that could stand to be cut. Outside of the realm of supply-side theory, the other reason that Ronald Reagan wanted to cut taxes was to “starve” the government into spending less. Reagan (and his team) made a logical (but wrong) assumption that if the government didn’t have money to spend it would at least try to stop spending growth. That didn’t happen. There was no outcry. There was no political price paid. So… Now Republicans have learned to spend better than the Democrats in the 1980s. The fiscal conservatives need to rise up and exert more control over the budget agenda in Congress. A strong untied block of Congressmen and Senators could push through a more responsible budget if they had the political will to do so.

And if the Republican Congress doesn’t start showing that it can do something about anything meaningful 2006 will not be a fun year.

Next up… The Smallholder made some fine comments about your Maximum Leader’s post about NH taxes on views in yesterday’s post. Allow your Maximum Leader to clarify a bit. He understands that houses with nicer views will be more expensive to buy than houses without nicer views. That doesn’t bother him. He understands that you will have variation in price based on location, views, and the quality of the neighbourhood. With variation in market price you will have variation in assessed value for property taxes. Neither does that bother him. But what is going on in New Hampshire is tax assessors going out to houses and doing an extra assessment on the view of the house and adding that assessed view’s value to the value of the house. This is done in a fashion completely independent of any market forces. And it also seems to be done only in areas (or to houses) that appear to fit a profile. The profile of “second home for rich Boston resident.” That is what appears to be wrong. Your Maximum Leader will try to learn some more about this and post further.

The Poet Laureate of the MWO made a fine comment about your Maximum Leader’s use of the “Below the Fold” feature of this blog and the placement of his traditional close “carry on” even when there is more below the fold. Very good points. Your Maximum Leader must confess that he likes to see the words “carry on” at the bottom of the main area of the post… Even if there is more below the fold. In the case of yesterday’s post, the paragraphs below the fold were something of an afterthought and inspired by - but not required for the enjoyment of - the main body of the post. In most cases where your Maximum Leader goes below the fold it is with material that he thinks is a nice addition to the post but perhaps not essential.

All that plus he wonders how many people actually click through and read below the fold…

Your Maximum Leader will second Robbo’s suggestion of putting French news babes on to replace Koppel. Frankly she could replace Greta Van Sustern in a better time slot. Your Maximum Leader wouldn’t even make Melissa learn English. She could just talk all she wanted in French. It might acutally make for better viewing.

Your Maximum Leader will also thank his Poet Laureate for his coverage of the French riots. Your Maximum Leader agrees that religion isn’t the major motivating factor, but it probably is a contributing factor. The French need to seriously review their immigration policies (for going forward) and figure out what they can do to assimilate the young disaffected French of North African descent. If assimilation is even possible…

Just like we’d say to Mr. Kotter… Welcome back.

Phoenix… Your Maximum Leader grows tired of waiting for that which he desires. Produce the dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt immediately!

Lastly… If you happen to be a regular reader of the Worlds Greatest Tabloid you should be familiar with the bosomy ladies of Page 3. Well… Now gentlemen (and ladies who are inclined) you can play the “Guess the Model’s Bra Size” Quiz. The quiz is definately not safe for work. So don’t think about clicking through if you are in danger of losing your job if your boss comes by and sees breasts all over your monitor screen. If you are good with breasts on your monitor then clicky here. Your Maximum Leader got 4 of 6. (For those of you who wonder about these things.)

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is a pretty normal heterosexual guy. Indeed, few things please him, in so many ways, as regarding the female form. Indeed, all of the regular writers here at Naked Villainy are fond of mentioning our lusty thoughts concerning the dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt, the tawdry Jaime Pressly, and the recovering Kate Moss.

But your Maximum Leader knows that many of his loyal readers are women. And what has your Maximum Leader done for you (dear ladies) recently? Well, frankly nothing. So to remedy this sad situation your Maximum Leader directs you to the lovely Mo’s site for hunky-Navy-guy-beefcake. He is sure that you will like it.

Carry on.
(more…)

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader wonders how he could have missed a recent Tyra Banks show where Miss Banks and Miss Jennifer Love Hewitt argued about who has larger breasts? He missed the show but now reads about it on I Don’t Like You In That Way.

And by reads about it he really means “looks at the photos.”

Thanks Jenny. You made your Maximum Leader’s day.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is writing this specifically for Kate Moss. Kate, if you’re out there (and your Maximum Leader knows you lurk around here waiting for the Minister of Propaganda to post) take heed.

This whole coke thing is beginning to affect your career. Affect in bad ways. The Swedes are dropping you from ad campaigns. Aren’t the Swedes like the most non-confrontational understanding pople in Europe? And they are upset with you? This isn’t good.

Kate, take your Maximum Leader’s advice. Call the Minister of Propaganda (send an e-mail - we’ll give you the number). He wants to help you through this. Don’t call any of those former boyfriends like Johnny Depp or anything. They didn’t have your best interests in mind. Not like the M of P. He’ll hold your hand and walk you through this.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader, as has become his habit of late, was over on I Don’t Like You In That Way reading the latest celebrity gossip.

BTW, your Maximum Leader agrees with Johnathan V at Galley Slaves that I Don’t Like You is the best gossip site out there. The Superficial isn’t the same without Brendon.

Anyho… Jenny at I Don’t Like You In That Way has a post in which two great love interests of this site are mentioned.

In one part of the post Jenny exhorts us to go and sign a petition asking the the lovely and talented Jennifer Love Hewitt (the unrequited platonic love of your Maximum Leader) just show her boobs. If you click through and read the petition you’ll find it quite amusing. (Your Maximum Leader might actually pay good money to see a “scene” with Jennifer Love Hewitt and Lacey Chabert.)

Of course, your Maximum Leader exhorts Jennifer Love Hewitt to just continue to be herself and maintain her good girl image. Once those (fabulous) breasts are exposed a little bit of mystique is lost. And her career could suffer.

Then Jenny goes on to say that Kate Moss is a coke junkie. She has some photos too. Sad. Your Maximum Leader hopes she is not. But if she is and wants an intervention, he’s sure the Minister of Propaganda would be happy to set something up.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader tips his bejeweled floppy cap to Saint Jones. Who exactly is Saint Jones? Well Mr. Jones is the proprietor of Big Daddy’s in New Orleans. And what is Big Daddy’s? It is a “gentleman’s club.” (So to speak.)

It seems as though Mr. Jones is doing his damnest to reopen Big Daddy’s. Hurricane damage and levee breaches be damned! From the article on the wire Mr. Jones is stocking up on water and supplies. As soon as he has power, and dancers, he’ll open.

Your Maximum Leader suspects that dancers are the least of his troubles.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is in DC today on business. He will try to complete a few updates today during breaks in his day.

Longtime readers will remember that the Villainschloss is not the immediate DC area, but in Fredericksburg, VA; about 45 miles from DC. So this morning your Maximum Leader had to rise very early and become a DC commuter. It has been many many years since he was regularly a DC commuter. As surprising as it seems, once and a while he misses it.

This morning evinced one reason why he sometimes misses the commute.

Your Maximum Leader boarded a Metro train in Springfield, VA to take him downtown. In most cases he would just drive the Villainmobile the whole way in, but he decided to take the subway instead. He seated himself as comfortably as possible in a seat and started to read the new issue of National Review.

At Eisenhower Avenue, your Maximum Leader became penned into his seat by a rather corpulent middle-aged man who took the open seat next to your Maximum Leader. Your Maximum Leader continued to read his National Review.

At the Pentagon City station, your Maximum Leader noticed a young woman enter the train in the crush of people. She looked very smart in her prete a porter Donna Karan suit. She had hair that was cut at about shoulder length and pulled into a sensible pony-tail.

Your Maximum Leader would not have paid much attention to her, until he noticed her exquisite arse. It was the arse of a fit, athletic woman. It was well shaped and firm. It looked great in the DK suit. The legs leading to it were quite nice as well.

Your Maximum Leader had to avert his eyes lest he be caught staring.

At the Foggy Bottom Metro Station the corpulent middle-aged man next to your Maximum Leader got up to leave the train. And the woman with stunning arse in the DK suit moved to let him out. She bent down to move her laptop case and gave your Maximum Leader two gifts. The first was a glimpse of the top of her very nice black thong underwear. The second came a moment later. She placed that lovely arse in the seat next to your Maximum Leader. She looked over at him and smiled politely. Your Maximum Leader smiled back. He then resumed reading National Review.

A moment later he caught a whiff of some scent. It was the woman with the stunning arse in the DK suit. Your Maximum Leader couldn’t identify the scent. But it was understated and not too floral. He sat for two more stations contemplating the arse, the thong, and the scent. He probably turned the page of his National Review, but he wasn’t really reading…

At the McPherson Square station your Maximum Leader had to detrain. He excused himself as he brushed by the woman with the stunning arse in the DK suit.

Thank you woman with the stunning arse in the DK suit. You allowed your Maximum Leader to indulge his lecherous nature on his commute. Thank you very much.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader saw the following quiz over on the delightful Sondra K’s site. He took the quiz. He scored 10/16. He isn’t sure if he should be proud about that or not.

BTW, the quiz is NSFW. Be warned.

Sex… Or Something Else. From the Modesty Panel.

Carry on.
(more…)

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader saw on the news wire that one Pieter DeHond has cut a personal ad in his cornfield.

Your Maximum Leader read this and thought of Smallholder. It must be the farming connection. Because the good Smallholder is happily married he doesn’t need to send a personal to anyone. Although if the Smallholder needed to do a personal he might use the personal-in-cornfield approach.

Except he doesn’t have a cornfield. Perhaps he would direct the grazing pattern of his small herd to spell out the appropirate letters…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has found some new eye-candy. Yes indeedey! He’s seen those Dove Ads. He’s seen them on TV. He’s seen the billboards and lit up advertising kiosks in the mall. The women in the new Dove advertising campaign are dead sexy.

What? You haven’t seen them. Well check them out on their website: Campaign for real beauty.

Well. It seems as though the arbitors of taste and style at the Chicago Sun Times are claiming that this Campaign “challenges” viewers. It makes some people “uncomfortable.”

Who exactly are these people who are challenged and uncomfortable? Are they supermodels who fear that they will become obsolete?

Damn. The women in this campaign are beautiful. As others have said, they’re hot. That is in no small part because they are physically attractive AND comfortable with who they are.

One can only hope that more companies will start using normal women in advertising.

Your Maximum Leader thanks the following bloggers for their links on this story: Tea Fizz, Bad Example, Lynn, and Pound.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is looking for some fun, silly, stupid, bad movies to watch. He is feeling like he needs to have a night of sophomoric cinema with many beer chasers.

One the “possibilities” list of films is Vamps. With a tag line that reads: “Tonight… Heather is lapdancing for her soul.” how bad could it be? Alice Cooper described “Vamps” as the “‘Gone With The Wind’ of vampire stripper movies.” It don’t get much better than that when it comes to celebrity endoresments.

So, your Maximum Leader is going to endeavour to get a copy of “Vamps” on DVD and watch it with some beers. If he can manage to get the Air Marshal or Smallholder to sojourn to the Villainschloss to join him that would cap off the evening…

Nothing so befits a man as a Friday night with beer and a vampire stripper movie.

Speaking of strippers… Well not exactly strippers… More just boobies…

Your Maximum Leader first discovered Page 3 girls in 1985 on his first visit to the United Kingdom. Ah yes… The magic that is “The Sun” to a hormonally active 16 years old boy.

Well… A few years ago your Maximum Leader signed up for the weekly e-mail of busty babes from Page 3. They call the weekly update the “Lodge.” Well, he just got this week’s lodge. And he’s never seen this lovely lady before. Your Maximum Leader will make a mental note to keep an eye out for Sophie. (That link is NSFW.)

Thanks to the good people at Page 3 for continuing to bring quality busty babes to the news-seeking public. Your Maximum Leader salutes you!

Carry on.