Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has been thinking. Thinking about New Orleans and the Mississippi delta of Louisiana. Given the horrible news we continue to hear from New Orleans and from the Gulf Coasts of Mississippi and Alabama it is only natural that he should think about New Orleans and its future.

Interestingly enough, the WaPo has an article concerning Louisiana’s shrinking coastline and disappearance of tidal marshes. You’ve got to love the opening lines. It will cost billions of federal dollars to repair and expand the levees around New Orleans. Thanks to the Hurricane and global warming the problems of New Orleans are made worse.

Excursus: Have you noticed that just about everything is blamed on global warming? Pacific gets hotter - global warming. Pacific gets colder - global warming. More tornados in mid-west - global warming. Teenagers reporting more pimples - global warming. Teen pregnancy on decline - global warming. Male pattern baldness - global warming. Smallholder not blogging for months - global waring. Is there any observable phenomenon that is not attributable to global warming? Just wondering…

Anyho…

Not elaborated on in great detail in the article is how the system of levees and dykes are preventing the flooding that is required to keep the tidal marshes healthy and alive. Without the periodic flooding to deposit sediment in the marshes they die. (And with them the natural habitat of so much of the wildlife that makes Louisiana a “sportsman’s paradise.”) We see the same problems along the Nile in Egypt and near the confluence of the Tigris and Euphrates in Iraq. When the Three Gorges Dam is finished in China, one suspects that we will see the slow death of the Yang-tze river delta as well.

So your Maximum Leader will go ahead and say what many are likely thinking. We should relocate New Orleans. Let the river, the lake, and the marshes reclaim the basin. Now is the best time to discuss it. Once we start rebuilding we aren’t going to stop.

Allow your Maximum Leader to say that he loves New Orleans. LOVES it. His sainted parents even own a condo in the city (the condition of which is unknown to us now). But if there is one thing that all of history can teach you it is that if you battle the forces of nature you will lose. You might gain a temporary victory. But in the end nature will have her way with you.

Why not just let nature do what she wants to do (and has gravity on the assist) and take New Orleans? Move the city up the river. It may cost billions… But keeping it will cost just as much and potentially more over the long run. The city continues to sink and the waters to rise. At what point does it just become illogical to continue?

Think of this as, perhaps, a chance to build a new and better New Orleans. Chicago and San Francisco both rebuilt and were better than before due to natural disaster. New Orleans could be the same. Surely moving the city is a huge undertaking, but so is saving it. Herculean resources will be involved either way. Look to the future. Is it better to move the city to higher ground and then rebuild; or just rebuild and wait for the next killer storm. (Which we know is coming because of global warming.)

Environmentally it would be a boon for the Mississippi Delta. Every year many square miles of marsh dry up and fall into the sea. The loss of which makes New Orleans in it’s current location all the more vunerable to a killer storm.

Long-time readers will know that your Maximum Leader loves history and wants to preserve as much of it as we can. But sometimes there are things you can’t preserve forever. You have to decide when to cut your losses. Think about it. We’re all paying for whatever decision is taken. (It is your federal tax dollar at work on those levees afterall.) Why not try to take a good one for the future of all New Orleans residents?

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is having a Conan the Barbarian moment.

No. Not the one where he runs around in a loincloth with a sword hacking snake-worshipping thugs to pieces in between marathon sessions of drinking, cavorting, and nailing the blond girl…

The one where the “Woe Masters” ask Conan what is good in life. He responds, “To krush yo enemies, to zee dem driven before yo, and to hear de lamentations of de womens.” To which the gathered warriors respond, “Yes. That is good.”

Excursus: That quotation is a variation on one attributed to Genghis Khan. Genghis purportedly said, “What is good in life is to crush your enemies and drive them before you; and to hear the lamentations of their wives and daughters.” That line might have been in the Conan script originally, but Ah-nuld hadn’t mastered enough English to handle it. Although he did get lamentations down pretty well… Your Maximum Leader digresses…

If just a moment ago you would have walked up to your Maximum Leader and asked what is good in life he would have said cruising down the road in the Villainmobile. The sun shining. The weather great. The windows down and listening to the Derek and the Dominos album.

It was glorious. Perhaps he will go out and experience that some more.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is a little achy this morning. Lots of work around the Villainschloss over the weekend. The largest project, by far, was the installation of a new below-grade drainage system for taking water away from the building. 200 feet of trenches were dug. They were measured to assure proper depth and slope. Plastic tubing was installed and attached to downspouts. It was something of an ordeal.

The ordeal reminded your Maximum Leader that he needs to excercise more. He should go and spend some time down on the Smallholder’s farm doing hard labour from time to time. Because the digging and pushing and pulling and such wore him out.

Anyho… In other news…

Did you read the Hatemongers today? It made your Maximum Leader laugh. Specifically the line “Buckwheat of American higher education.” elicited an audible laugh.

You know… Preston asks a hard question. Your Maximum Leader wishes he could take the Kissinger approach. (After Henry Kissinger who said of the Iran/Iraq war, “It’s a pitty they both can’t lose.”) But if he had to choose one, he would actually go with Fox’s Halloway coverage. The poor girl is dead. It is unlikely that we will ever find out how or why it happened. That is tragic. But sometimes these things happen. One could make a case that focusing on Sheehan at least gets a serious topic (the Iraq War for those of you who have “zoned out”) into regular discussion.

Hey… Do the V-man a favour. Vote according to his wishes for some bridge project. Your Maximum Leader has. (A few times in fact.) Alas, your Maximum Leader isn’t sure how much the poll will count. When they (whoever “they” are) were investigating options for replacing the Woodrow Wilson Bridge in the DC area your Maximum Leader voted for the mega-expensive-but-better-for-the-view option of an 8 lane tunnel under the river. It would have left the river open for navigation and would have dramatically improved the view from Alexandria, Virginia. A tunnel was the first choice of most people. But as the tunnel cost some un-thinkable amount of money (the figure could have been tens of billions of dollars for all he knew) they went with a bridge…

As your Maximum Leader asked you to remember Bosworth field Lemuel asks that you remember the Soviet Invasion of Czechoslavkia. You should. As well you should be thankful that the Soviet Empire doesn’t exist and Eastern Europe is free to live according to their own custom, tradition, and will. (Except for all that EU crap they seem to want to join.)

Your Maximum Leader rented “Alexander” over the weekend. Damn it sucked. He knew that going in. But he didn’t anticipate the suckiness to the extent he got it.

An interesting aside… The last two movies your Maximum Leader has rented were “Alexander” and “The Passion of the Christ.” He had a weird thought due to these films last night while attempting to fall asleep. Suppose one was a Hindu and believed in reincarnation? Further, as a Hindu you might believe that one of the purposes of reincarnation was to allow yourself multiple lifetimes during which you could learn lessons needed to be learned to eventually extinguish your existance. That said… Could Jesus of Nazareth have been Alexander the Great reincarnated to learn about peace and love since he had already learned about war and conquest? Hummm… That could be the scotch thinking there…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader was reading over the news wires and learned that Pierre Nkurunziza has just been elected President of Burundi.

As soon as he saw the headline he started smiling. By the end of the article he was chuckling to himself.

If you haven’t seen Eddie Izzard’s “Dress to Kill” comedy routine you will have no reason why.

Your Maximum Leader will commend “Dress to Kill” to you if you’ve not seen it. Well worth the cost of a DVD rental.

Carry on.
—–
EXTENDED ODY:

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader, as you know, is want to peruse the new wires. Well today he found a profile of a young man who, to improve his web development skills, decided to create a searchable compendium of official North Korean press articles. The site, nk-news.net, is great. Webdesigner/webmaster/imperialist stooge, Geoff Davis has done a great job.

Your Maximum Leader is particularly impressed with the random insult generator. With just a few clicks of his mouse your Maximum Leader was called the following: “You extra-large bloodsucker!” and “You black-hearted political dwarf, your ridiculous clamour for ‘human rights’ is nothing but a shrill cry!”

That bit about being a black-hearted dwarf hurt…

Anyhow… Go and visit the site. Alas there are very few practioners of the fine art of Stalinist Propaganda Writing left in the world. You might as well get this one while the getting is good.

Geoff Davis, your Maximum Leader doffs his bejeweled floppy cap in your direction.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader, when he chooses to watch TV during the week, has found himself watching a little of Tucker Carlson’s show on MSNBC. He was, in fact watching, when Mr. Carlson made some comments to which the people of Greenpeace have taken offence.

Now your Maximum Leader will not go quite as far as Mr. Carlson and say that he is “pro-French.” Your Maximum Leader is very much pro-typical-non-Parisian-Frenchman. He also will laud the French where lauding is deserved. He believes that the French Government’s decision to bomb the Rainbow Warrior was a little much. But the French Government acted in a way that they believed furthered their national interest.

Nation-states have always done unsavory things to advance their interests (or perceived interests). It is the way of things. Ultimately, states (democratic ones at least) will be held accountable for their actions. And that is one thing that separates the nation-state from the terrorist organization. It may be a fine distinction, but it is an important one.

So, to the good people at Greenpeace, your Maximum Leader suggests you milk the story for all the publicity that you can. Then get over it.

And for Tucker Carlson, your Maximum Leader says hang tough.

Carry on.
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EXTENED BODY:

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader’s lovely wife, sainted father, life-long pal the Air Marshal, and stunning sister-in-law all attended Virginia Tech. One could say he has an affection for the place. When college football time rolls around he is a big Hokies fan.

Well imagine your Maximum Leader’s surprise when he read JohnL’s site this morning and found this piece.

It seems that Virginia Tech is accomodating some visiting Saudi college professors by teaching classes separated by sex. Men in one class, women in another.

Are your Maximum Leader and John the only two put out by this? (We aren’t he’s sure…) Why make such an accomodation? In order to be culturally sensitive? Come on. It is a weak administration that falls back on that canard. Your Maximum Leader can hardly believe that no students or faculty at Virginia Tech have made a big hullaballoo about this. (Perhaps they have and it just isn’t being reported.)

Shame on you Virginia Tech. Shame.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader really respects when people can come clean about their deep, dark, secrets. He especially respects it when they can do so in a public forum like the internet.

Brian has recently come clean. He like Canadians.

Like Brian, your Maximum Leader agrees that some of the best non-mericans he’s ever met have been Canadians. One of the coolest, smartest, most ambitious, (and sexiest) people he’s ever worked with is his friend JT in Chicago. (NB to JT: E-mail your Maximum Leader if you’re reading this. If you’re not… Well start!) JT is Canadian. In fact she majored in Canadian Studies in college. (But that hasn’t held her back from taking the American business community by storm!)

That said… Your Maximum Leader is concerned. Concerned about the idiocy of the Canadian government. Concerned about Skippy. (General concern there. Nothing specific.)

And he is concerned about Canadian World Domination. Claire and Jenny are on your Maximum Leader’s watch list. And have been for about 6 years now. (He discovered their web site about 6 years ago.)

So perhaps there is something rotten (aside from the government and socialist medicine and free speech restrictions) in the state of Canada…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader should not have deviated from his plan yesterday night.

Yesterday he wrote that he would do a little shopping, then get chinese food from the restaurant with the drop dead gorgeous owner. Well, he was diverted from his plan while shopping. At the grocery store your Maximum Leader was enticed by a frozen crab cake. Samples of which were being offered to patrons. Your Maximum Leader sampled a crab cake and was pleasantly surprised by it’s texture and taste.

He bought some.

Now generally your Maximum Leader prefers to buy seafood fresh (if he doesn’t catch it himself). And to be quite honest, your Maximum Leader generally makes his own crab cakes from crabs caught by his esteemed and much beloved in-laws.

Excursus: Your Maximum Leader’s in-laws live on the Chesapeake Bay. Well, actually on a river right near the bay. As owners of waterfront property they are allowed to have one unlicensed crab pot for every taxpaying permenant resident of the improved property. So my mother & father-in-law have two crab pots in the water during much of the crab season.

Your Maximum Leader makes his crab cakes very carefully. He picks the meat himself. Then he adds one baten egg and a few tablespoons of homemade bread crumbs into 2 lbs of crab meat. He seasons lightly with Old Bay seasoning. Then he hand molds the crab mixture into patties and fries the crab cakes in melted (salted) butter in a medium heat iron skillet.

Needless to say, your Maximum Leader is particular about his crab cakes. But he was hungry last night and these crab cakes tasted good. So he bought some.

Then he went home and put them in the oven to cook/reheat.

While they were cooking he set about cleaning up the Villainschloss. He also puttered around in the garage for a moment.

When the crab cakes were done, he plated them. Got a little melted butter ready. He had his cucumber salad at the ready. He sat down in front of the TV preparing to watch some news… Then he bit into the first Jimmy Buffet’s Margaritaville Crab Cake.

It was awful.

So he took a bite of a second crab cake. It was a little better. But still not very good. He did in fact eat them all. (Your Maximum Leader’s Catholic upbringing somehow compells him to eat at least a regular portion of bad food without throwing it away all together - as wasting food is sinful.) He ate them with a particularly strong cocktail sauce he whipped up to masque the taste of the crab cake.

The cucumber salad was good however…

Lessons to be learnt here: 1) don’t deviate from the well laid plan; 2) don’t ever buy Jimmy Buffet’s Margaritaville Crab Cakes.

Tonight’s adventure is to the Washington Nationals/LA Dodgers baseball game. Consider yourself warned that blogging may be light the rest of the day.

Perhaps some of your Maximum Leader’s ministers might choose to blog a little… (Hint! Hint!)

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is sure the majority of his readers probably also read The Onion. But in case you do not he felt he just had to pass this along.

Supreme Court Justices Devour Sandra Day O’Connor in Ancient Ritual.

Carry on.