I have had just about enough of all this illegal alien stuff. I have notice that NPR doesn’t call them Illegal aliens any more…. They are undocumented workers.

If I hear that ,”They are just doing the jobs that Americans don’t want to do” tripe one more time I think that I am going to puke.

No shit. Who wants to clean toilets or cut grass for $4 an hour?
But if you didn’t have the illegals here to do it at that absurdly low wage, you would have to pay $12-$18 an hour to have it done…
and maybe a LEGAL American WOULD take the job then.

Not only that, but if you give them citizenship, then THEY will become the Americans that “won’t do the job” for such low wages too…. then we will need another 12 MILLION illegals to do the work for us.

I say we adopt Mexicos immigration policy.
http://tinyurl.com/hv7wj

also, It doesn’t seem that Americans Get the same break in Mexico as Mexicans get in the US
http://www.directory.com.mx/immigration/

What if we had a day “without an American”? Sure, you could still get your car valet parked and maybe even your grass cut, but the world economy would collapse.

Back to the Trenches….

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader asks rhetorically, “Do you know what the problem is with idiots?”

The answer: “They look just like normal people.”

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader thought he had some pithy comments to weave into a post this morning. But he can’t think of a one of them. He’s had to deal with complete blathering idiots all morning and his blood pressure is so elevated he can hardly see straight.

Posting will have to wait a few hours.

At least.

Peruse the blogroll. Give some readership to the other quality blogs found there. Come back later. Your Maximum Leader might be in a better mood then.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has to gree with Loyal Minion Bill on this one. The Christian “Peacemakers” just rescued in Iraq are ungrateful bastards. You can read the press release for yourself. Your Maximum Leader was watching TV with Mrs. Villain last night. We were watching Fox News and during one of the news breaks they discussed the rescue of the hostages. Pointedly the reporter noted that the troops who risked their lives to save the hostages were not thanked by the freed people. Mrs. Villain was quite put out. “No thank you at all to the soliders? That is just rude!” Your Maximum Leader concurred. Then the report indicated that more peacemakers were on their way to Iraq. Mrs. Villain turned to your Maximum Leader and asked if we would rescue the new batch if they got taken hostage. Your Maximum Leader said that we would, because that is what our soliders do.

God Bless our troops.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has had a rough day. He can’t explain why, but it was a bear of a day. Indeed, your Maximum Leader has looked forward to the time (now by the way) that he can relax in the Villainschloss with his computer, his iPod, and peace.

So… Your Maximum Leader has settled down and is relaxing and is catching up on some reading. NB to Sadie concerning your comment - No, your Maximum Leader was not wearing a Maximum Leader shirt. But if you were watching the Pacers v. Wizards game last night you would have seen your Maximum Leader walking along the side of the court about 2 minutes into the 3 quarter. At one point he was about a foot from Antwan Jaimison before said Mr. Jaimison inbounded the ball. Your Maximum Leader was the tall man with glasses, wearing the Tommy Hillfiger sweatshirt, jeans, and carring a fresh beer. (He was just leaving the VIP suite and returning to his seat…)

Anyhoo…

Your Maximum Leader decided to start reading his favourite blogs. You know, catch up on everything he missed today…

As is your Maximum Leader’s habit, he begins his blog reading at the top of his blogroll in the Loyal Minions category. He made it down 6 positions.

Now after reading Skippy’s lastest he sees no reason to continue reading further. Your Maximum Leader will finish this post and likely re-read Skippy’s latest (because it is so damn good it deserves a second reading) and then turn off the computer and go read a book. Nothing he could possibly read tonight on the whole friggin internet will be a good as Skippy’s latest. So he will call it quits.

NB to Brian: Your Maximum Leader was going to write more about summits and President Bush. But it will have to wait until the morrow.

G’night minions. Catch you later.

Carry on.

Loyal readers of Naked Villainy know that this is not a hot bed of Bush apologists - even the Maximum Leader decided to stop drinking the kool-aid once he realized the profligacy of the Bush administration and Republican Congress.

You humble Smallholder, as you will recall, is a big fan of making terrorists dead dead dead.

He is a big fan of giving anti-American extremists lead poisioning (preferably with 50 caliber delivery systems).

But your humble Smallholder is also a harsh critic of the Bush administration’s blithe disregard of the lessons of history (gee, have we tried Iraqification before? How did that work out?).

My criticisms of the war have been directed at fighting the war more effectively, and/or minimizing the cost to America. I’ll confess that the mismanagement of the war effort is starting to make me wonder if a “win” is possible anymore, no matter how much we redefine victory conditions, but I’m still hopeful that my doubts will be proven to be premature.

Folks like Sheehan piss me off. She is on a narcissistic tour-de-force that does nothing to improve the world. Her historical ignorance is legendary in scope. If Bush is the worst dictator she can think of, I have to conclude that public education failed this particular trollop. It is not criticism of the war that annoys me - it is stupid criticism.

The Volokh Conspiracy reports that Cindy Sheehan is now claiming that she has paid “the ultimate” price for the consitutional democracy that Alito will destroy.

Um, Cindy?

The ultimate price? It refers to laying down your life. Your son knew about that.

What price have you actually paid? I imagine that you have made, or will make, serious moolah with your book deal. You have fawning sychophants massaging your massive messiah/martyr complex. You have prolonged your fifteen minutes of fame beyond all human decency. How exactly have you paid any price?

Actually, that is a serious question. If America is really as repressive and intolerant as you and Mr. Chomsky and Mr. Zinn think, why are you walking around free? Should you have paid the ultimate price for your courageous opposition to the forces of darkness. Seriously, malevolent dictators like Bush, Cheney, and the Haliburton gang ought to have sent the death squads after you.

The fact that you are not mouldering in an unmarked grave gives the lie to yur claims.

The fact that you are not in jail gives the lie to your claims.

Why, oh why, does unreasoning, monomaniacal faith have to replace reasoned discourse in our public life? Why can’t we civilly disagree and ideologically compete in the real world?

I’m not saying that there aren’t monomaniacal idiots on the left. Today is just Cindy’s turn. I’m sure my condemnation just proves that there is a government-fueled conspiracy to hurt Ms. Sheehan.

Bwahahahahaha.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader was setting up an HP printer that his sainted parents bought for Villainette #1 for Christmas. While prepping the printer for setup he was instructed to remove a little orange plastic plug and put it in the recyling bin. (These instructions were pictographic instructions on a nice piece of paper that came in the printer box.)

That was when it struck him.

Why the hell does everything go into a recylcing bin? What is wrong with a good old fashioned trash can? A real nice old fashioned trash can that was round, tapering slightly towards the bottom, and painted olive drab. One you could light a fire in and not worry about melting your trash can. There were no little circley arrows all over it. It wasn’t blue. You didn’t put it on the curb for a special pick up.

Back in the day, your trash can was a functional metal container. When it was full you emptied it into a larger functional metal container. When Monday and/or Thursday came around you took the big container to the street and a big stinky truck came and took the contents away. (Or if you live in the country, you took the container(s) to the county dump every other Saturday. While at the dump you made sure to say hi to Larry. Larry is the guy at the dump gate who checks the county sticker on cars as they drive in. Larry is the guy protecting your tax dollars and valuable dump space. Larry is there to make sure some low-life from the next - less upscale - county a few miles over didn’t try to muscle in on your dump. Larry may only make about $22,000 a year, but Larry provides a valuable service to you and your fellow county dwellers. Hats off to you Larry…)

Trash cans didn’t used to come in designer colours. They didn’t match the soap dish and the shower curtain in your bathroom. A real trash can is bigger than a Kleenex box. (Your Maximum Leader can’t fucking abide by trash cans that are “full” after receiving one or two snotty tissues. He’d like to find the bastard who “invented” the small waste basket and shove one up his arse.) Riddle your Maximum Leader this, when did “waste baskets” shrink to the size of a small-headed Turk’s fez? Your Maximum Leader would like to know. If he needed a small waste basket he would have saved a frickin’ coffee can.

Now everything goes in “Recyle Bins.” Your Maximum Leader’s dear Villainettes even talk about the recycling bin. It s crazy. When did it happen that everything should be recycled? Snotty tissues. Used diapers. “Feminine Hygene products.” That stuff shouldn’t be recycled. It should be atomized. Who wants to buy a greeting card that is 7.53% recycled tampon?

Do you know what’s the most insidious recycle bin? Of course you do. It is the one in the Windows Operating System. Stuff just sits in it until you tell it to empty itself. You’re not really getting rid of anything you put in it. And you’re not recycling it either. That code, those old pics your boyfriend took of you naked at the beach, that stupid poem you wrote in Word, the spreadsheet you tried to use to balance your checkbook… All that crap is sitting in your Windows recycle bin. It just sits there. It doesn’t get magically reused by other elements of Windows or some other application. It just sits there. In the recycle bin. Waiting. Waiting to be erased.

Waiting to be erased… Just like this post…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader wants you to know that he loves his iPod. As it stands he’s loaded about 2/3rds of his CD collection into iTunes (and thus his iPod). He’s started to received podcasts (so far just ones on iTunes - if you know of others to recommend feel free to leave a comment). He has also spent about $30 on new music at iTunes.

Your Maximum Leader hasn’t really created any playlists. In a way he hasn’t felt like he needed to. He’s been using the “Higest Rated” playlit that was built into the iPod. For those of you who don’t know what that is allow your Maximum Leader to explain. Every track of every album you put on to iTunes you can give a rating of 0 to Five stars. 5 stars is the highest rating. The iPod can go and randomly select songs with 4 or 5 stars and play through them all (without repeats). It is great. In the past hour your Maximum Leader has heard songs from Led Zeppelin, The Who, Eric Clapton, REM, Duran Duran, Buddy Holly, Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, and Elvis. He has also listened to parts of Beethoven’s 3rd Symphony and Wagner’s Lohengrin. He has also gotten to Hoe-down with Arron Copeland’s Rodeo. Very cool.

Your Maximum Leader has also watched three videos. U2’s “Veritgo,” Jessica Simpson’s “These boots are made for walkin’,” and Sarah Silverman’s “Give the Jew girl toys.” Your Maximum Leader will admit he felt a little dirty watching Jessica Simpson washing the General Lee in her tiny pink bikini. But not so dirty that he will not watch the video again at some point today - and enjoy it.

Unlike Phin, your Maximum Leader hasn’t subjected any relatives to his selection of music. This is mostly due to the fact that the Villainous family are visiting other relatives…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader sees that Stanley “Tookie” Williams was executed last night. Your Maximum Leader isn’t shedding any tears over the state’s actions in this case. Indeed, your Maximum Leader is glad that California is starting to kill some of the people they have on death row.

And now that Stanley “Tookie” Williams is gone your Maximum Leader wonders… Does this mean that the nickname “Tookie” is back “on the market” and available for others to use? Because if that is the case your Maximum Leader thinks he’s going to start referring to the Smallholder as “Tookie.” Or perhaps he’ll use some “Tookie” variant. Like calling Smallholder “Lil’ Took” or “Took holder” or “Holstein-shizzle.”

Your Maximum Leader will see the right glove when it fits…

Carry on.

The Bush administration and the Republican Congress are destroying national treasures at an alarming rate.

But forget about drilling in ANWR. Forget about delisting a dozen endgangered species. Forget about opening Yellowstone to snowboarders. Forget about assinie western range rental policy.

There is an even greater tragedy.

I call on Bush and the Republicans in Congress to immediately save our greatest national treasure.

Those of you who watched “My Name is Earl” last night*, you know what I’m talking about. Jaime Pressly looks like crap. Whatever she is doing to herself must be stopped, even if it requires military intervention.

Good God! How can we face out children and admit that we allowed our leaders to stand by while the greatest hottie of the age turned into the cryptkeeper!

I hold the Bush administration personally responsible. I think this may qualify as a high crime and/or misdemeanor.

* Yes, Sadie, the Smallholder does occasionally partake in lowbrow entertainment. Three guesses why I picked that show…

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader, rather than reading blogs or blogging himself, spent a good portion of last night playing Rome:Total War. He finally won the game. He was the Scipii faction of the Romans. He first conquered Sciliy. Then he moved on to North Africa. (He spared the Egyptians because they paid large tribute to keep his armies at bay.) Then he split the conquest of Greece and Macedonia with the Brutii faction. He also made some territorial gains in modern Germany and Austria. Then he started the civil war. He conquered Latinum and Rome herself. Then he crushed the Brutii. Then he drove the Julii out of Italy and central Europe.

Then the game just ended. He had built up his armies and has crossed the Alps. He was prepared to wrest Gaul and Spain from the Julii. He took Massila and then the game just ended with a cheesey pop-up screen that said that Victory was his and he was the master of a great Empire.

When your Maximum Leader clicked on the button to get rid of the pop-up he expected that he would be allowed to play on just for the sake of closure. No dice. He returned to the main menu.

He is more than a little disappointed. He didn’t really care for the Medieval:Total War victory screen either. The cool one was the Shogun: Total War ending with a little movie and all.

He is feeling miffed.

Carry on.

Does anyone else get annoyed at the Geico commercial that claims that the gecko is the “unofficial Virginia state amphibian?”

Maybe it’s just me.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is a happy camper this morning. Why you ask? Well because Loyal Minion Phin has upgraded Naked Villainy to the new(er) version of Movable Type. And although your Maximum Leader has no idea what all the new functionality is on V 3.2 he can say this… It looks mighty pur-ty. Yes, if you, dear reader, were able to log into the site to create or edit a post (which you are not), you would see lots of fun little colour icons and buttons. No more monochrome! It is almost like the Movable Type people said to themselves, “By God! We’ve got at least 256 web safe colours! Let’s use about 32 of them!”

Very impressive.

(That was thought number 1.)

Your Maximum Leader had planned on doing some blog maintenance this weekend. (This is thought 2.) He wanted to update the blogroll a little. Try and fix whatever was wrong with Blogads. And add a new Villainous Commerce icon based on a Big Hominid design. But due to the impending upgrade on MT from Phin, your Maximum Leader decided to hold off. Perhaps some day this week.

So instead of working on the blog he played a few hours of Rome: Total War. For quite a while it looked like the computer was going to kick your Maximum Leader’s arse. But then your Maximum Leader fought a very decisive battle outside of Tarantum. The difference for your Maximum Leader. War Elephants. It was cool.

And the third thought…

Your Maximum Leader will provide a link for your reading pleasure to Professor Stotch’s post about his recent experiences at a DC party. Your Maximum Leader will agree with Professor Stotch’s sentiment in the post. Dems are socialists. Republicans are liars. It is really too bad. Every time your Maximum Leader hears some Republican leader talk about how well they are doing running the country (and in this your Maximum Leader is thinking mostly about Congress) he wants to retch.

It is almost enough to make your Maximum Leader want to throw his vote away on a 3rd party candidate…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader was in the Villainmobile and chanced to come across some radio program from the Beeb about how the rest of the world views the United States. The real title of the program ought to have been called “More mindless people spouting off about why they hate the US.”

So… Your Maximum Leader would like to humbly suggest ten (count ‘em 10) policy changes that would give legitimate reasons for the rest of the world to hate us. Here we go:

1) Stop exporting drugs. All those great drugs US pharmaceutical companies make? From now on they are for Americans only. We would, of course, have to destroy all the drug factories built by US companies around the world… But hey, you gotta break a few eggs…

2) Stop allowing immigrants (legal and illegal) to come to the US - unless they can demonstrably show that they can offer some tangible skill or talent to the nation.

2a) We continue to allow foreign exchange students into universities - on the condition that they never return to their native land. Thus making the “brain-drain” problem even worse.

3) Implement a true “you have it, we want it, we take it” foreign policy. Suppose we need more oil. We invade your country and take it. We pay nothing for it. We kill as many people as we need to in order to get it. Then we leave. This policy also goes for gold, silver, uranium, sheep, apes, elephants, coconuts, bananas, exotic hot chicks, whatever really. We can get really whimsical on this one… Maybe one day Congress decides we need a national “schnitzel day.” The night before, we invade Germany and/or Austria and take all the schnitzel we can lay our hands on…

5) Stop all foreign aid. Not a big deal really (to us). We don’t give much foreign aid as it is. After all, we know the UN thinks we’re “stingy.”

6) Take back the Internet.

7) Jam all non-American TV shows from being broadcast anywhere in the world.

8 ) Offer the UK, Australia, and Israel statehood. That way they can partake in all the fun we’ll have! Everyone knows they’re nothing but US stooges anyway!

9) We build a huge solar shade and randomly position it for weeks at a time over other nations. Thereby plunging them into darkness and chaos. We only move the shade to another randomly selected nation if we get a big sappy Hallmark card signed by everyone in the affected country saying how much they really like us and are sorry they forgot to wish us a happy 4th of July. (Nations that send a $25 Wal-Mart gift card to every registered US voter in addition to the sappy card will get a guarantee that we’ll not park the solar shade over their country for at least 1 calendar year.)

10) First, put a whole bunch of nasty neutron bombs on satellites. Then start a new season of “Survivor.” The season will be entitled “Survivor: The 3rd World.” Multinational teams from all over the 3rd world will compete against each other. Teams will seek to win contests and earn “immunity.” Losing teams will have to vote off one team member. The contestant voted off will be summarily executed and his nation bombed indiscriminately. Eventually the one surviving contestant will be given $1 million (US) and his nation given Commonwealth status. (Just like Puerto Rico!)

If we make these simple policy changes then, truly, the rest of the world might have a legitimate reason to hate us.

Carry on.
(more…)

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader sees that New Orleans has devolved into a Hobbesian state of nature. At least that is how it seems from watching the news. Fear, self-interest, and force seem to have become the way of life on the streets of New Orleans.

It is horrifying.

While we watch the spectacle unfold in front of our eyes on television, the punditry is passing out blame. Your Maximum Leader would hope that our energies would go towards more constructive goals. But it seems as though blame is the only item available in abundance in the affected area.

Your Maximum Leader, like so many on television, is upset at the seemingly slow response time of the Federal Government to react. But before he puts all the blame for human suffering at the foot of the Federal Government one should try to listen carefully to the reports coming from New Orleans.

To put a fine point on it, from what he hears it does not appear as though anyone is trying to take charge in New Orleans. The Mayor appears to be a helpless whelp. The Governor of Louisiana appears to be completely ineffectual. And the helplessness and lack of leadership goes from the very top of the state and local government down to the police. No one appears to want to take charge. Are the Governor, Mayor and others so afraid of what could happen that they don’t give orders? It doesn’t seem as though it can get much worse. Why not give leadership a shot?

Where is the command center for coordinating the relief efforts? At the Superdome? At City Hall? In Baton Rouge? If they even have a command center or relief headquarters it doesn’t seem as though it is doing anything.

Is it just your Maximum Leader or does the situation not seem quite as bad in Mississippi and Alabama? At least the situation insofar as lawlessness is concerned. Perhaps it is just as bad, but all the reporters are in New Orleans and we aren’t hearing about it.

From what your Maximum Leader hears and sees it will be Sunday before significant numbers of National Guard troops (as well as regular Army/Marines) get to New Orleans. One hopes that some National Guard General (Colonel even) will take charge and start making things happen.

Your Maximum Leader reads that the city is under Martial Law. It sure doesn’t seem to be. We don’t hear of troops on the ground. The only people being shot (or shot at) appear to be the police and aid workers. This again speaks to lack of leadership.

Cicero once said that in times of war laws are silent. By extension in times of civil unrest laws may need to be silent as well. The time appears to have come in New Orleans that someone (probably President Bush) needs to suspend civil law and appoint a military govenor.

Carry on.