Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is a day late in posting the latest installment of the on-going “Men’s Club” feature. Today’s topic (actually yesterday’s topic) is Jealousy.

Excursus: He put the title of the post in French because he loves the way the French word “Jalousie” looks. It looks like a harmless fun word… Humm… What does that tell us about the French? Perhaps nothing. Or perhaps…

Anyho…

Your Maximum Leader will take a little credit for suggesting this topic. He happened to be in the Villainschloss watching his copy of “Othello” with Laurence Fishburne, Kenneth Branagh, and Irene Jacob. During the course of the film your Maximum Leader heard Branagh’s Iago speak the famous lines:

O, beware, my lord, of jealousy!
It is the green-eyed monster which doth mock
The meat it feeds on.

Of course, a true Shakespearian would also know that the Bard used the same metaphor in another play. It was uttered by Portia in the “Merchant of Venice”. She said:

How all the other passions fleet to air, As doubtful thoughts, and rash-embraced despair, And shuddering fear, and green-eyed jealousy!

Obviously Shakespeare knew a ood line when he wrote it. As a conceqence of Shakespeare calling Jealousy a green-eyed monster your Maximum Leader has always imagined the personification of Jealousy would be a lithe red-maned girl with porcelain skin and green eyes. She would wear skimpy clothes that would flatter, yet not reaveal, her pert breasts, shapely legs, and rock solid abs. She would smile to excess and have a smoky voice. Her look and deportment would draw you in, innocently but curiously at first. Then she would slowly start to ply you with clever conversation and sexual innuendo. Before you knew it, you would be nothing more than a toy. Perhaps this mental picture is the reason that your Maximum Leader has never been particuarly fond of redheads…

And therein lay the heart of our discussion today loyal minions…

What is the role of jealousy in a relationship?

Speaking broadly, jealousy, as we commonly think of it, is not a particularly good thing in a relationship. It causes suspicion. And where there is suspicion there is a dearth of trust. And without trust, we can all agree, relationships are doomed. (At least healthy relationships are doomed.)

Your Maximum Leader was once taught an important lesson that has helped him in life quite a bit. A friend from middle school once told him that so-and-so, “Ain’t never done me wrong.” This was in reference to a kid we knew and was commonly thought to be untrustworthy and something of a backstabbing social climber. (And frankly, who could be blamed for wanting to social climb up from the rank of geek… But that is a discussion for another day.) Your Maximum Leader was telling his friend, B.B., that this little backstabber wasn’t a real friend. This was when B.B. said that he had never been done wrong by the person. This prompted a discussion on trust and the levels of trust. The lesson learnt was that give people a little trust to work with. Don’t immediately think the worst or be defensive. Cut them a little slack. If that works out well, they build more trust. If it doesn’t, and you generally find out rather quickly if it will not; then you cut them off quickly and severely.

Your Maximum Leader has found that this frame of mind works particularly well in the early going of most relationships. Relationships of all sorts actually. But for the purposes of this discussion, let’s keep it to romantic relationships. In the early going, a little bit of trust can be built through honesty. A clear definition of the status of the relationship is the best way to start out. If you are seeing someone, but don’t plan on seeing them exclusively - say so. This is an awkward early step. Often you don’t know the person well enough to clearly discern their feelings towards you. But when you reach that first level, start to be honest about seeing others or not seeing others as the case may be.

All too often relationships are spoiled early on by miscommunication between the parties leading to feelings of jealousy by one person. If he enjoyed her company, but still wanted to see other people, that should be communicated before she sees him out with another girl. Escpecially a red-maned, green-eyed beauty wearing a skimpy outfit.

But once you move past the early stages of a relationship, jealousy becomes a different problem. If there is no single cause for jealousy some people will create many non-specific causes of jealousy. The most common of these that a man will have to deal with is that of a woman being jealous of other women. Other women who you might work with. Who might be prettier than she is. Who might secretly harbour lust in their hearts for you. Or sometimes the jealousy is directed at you and other women. “Look over there? Do you think she is pretty?” “Would you do Salma Hayek if she propositioned you?”

On one level this jealousy is rather harmless and even a bit flattering. Is shows that your lady is concerned about remaining attractive and desirable to you. Honesty and directness has always worked for your Maximum Leader in dealing with these lttle outbursts. If Mrs. Villain asked your Maximum Leader if he would “do” Salma Hayek if she was offering he would respond, “Of course. Lucky for you she isn’t.” Then he generally reassures Mrs. Villain that she is the only woman for him (until the MWO - then all bets are off). (And he also adds that if Salma and your Maximum Leader hooked up that would mean a free pass for Mrs. Villain and Johnny Depp or George Clooney. But not both.)

So at the casual, trifling level jealousy may not be such a bad thing. But this light-hearted jealousy is not the only type of level of jealousy.

Jealousy becomes a serious problem for a relationship when it becomes all consuming. Your Maximum Leader has know a surprising number of women who allow themselves to be controlled by jealous men. Your Maximum Leader has an acquaintance here in town who has an ex-wife, let’s call her Jane. Jane is now with a new man. And he is consumed by a jealousy which which your Maximum Leader is somewhat surprised. Jane is not allowed to leave the house without her cellular phone on her person, activated, and fully charged. Jane’s beau (let’s call him Norman) calls her every 15 minutes when she is out of the house. When Norman is at work, he calls Jane at home (she is a stay at home mom) every 30 minutes. If she doesn’t answer, he calls on the cell phone. If she still doesn’t answer he has been known to leave work and start looking for her. Norman threatened to beat up a guy for looking at Jane in a shopping mall. Norman is a jealous posessive psychopath. But Jane LOVES it. She feels that Norman loves her in a way that no other man has ever loved her before. He is, in her words, “so committed to me.”

She got the committed part right at any rate. Your Maximum Leader suspects that this relationship will end with someone being dead and someone else in a mental institution.

In the end, jealousy is more of a problem for relationships than a benefit. Because jealousy is a nagging, uncertain, distraction from all of the other things that go into making a relationship (and life) work. If you are jealously wondering what your other half is doing, you’re not focusing on yourself, not concerned about what you are doing, and not thinking about how to keep your relationship growing and interesting.

That is all for this week’s installment of Le Club des Hommes. Check out the Divas: Dead Sexy Sadie, Chrissy, Silk, Kathy, and guest diva, Joan. Then you are enjoined to read the other “Hommes”: The Wizard, Phin, and Stiggy.

Carry on.

UPDATE: Your Maximum Leader has it on good authority that the title of this post should be “Le Club des Hommes” not “Les Club des Hommes.” Who is this good authority? Well it would be the Big Hominid. And he knows his French. Indeed, if your Maximum Leader had thought about it for more than a moment, he might have remember the years of French he took in secondary school and college and not made “Club” plural. He wasn’t really thinking. Since “Hommes” was plural he just went plural crazy. Anyho… The change has been made. The Big Hominid also tells your Maximum Leader that “La Jalousie” is also a type of venetian blind. This tidbit is both interesting and humourous. It is humourous because your Maximum Leader gets a mental picture of a jealous wife looking through venetian blinds at her husband talking to the red-haired neighbour with the pert breasts and alluring green eyes…

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is not a big Howard Stern fan. Indeed, he never listens to him at all. But he did get a cuckle out of this story: David Lee Roth to replace Howard Stern.

Humm… Your Maximum Leader gives it 3 months…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader, for years, thought that zits were something of a hereditary/hormonal thing. Well, now he learns that for all these years he has been terribly off the mark.

Damn you Dutch East India Company! Damn you to hell!

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is praying for the people of London today. By now you have likely heard the still unfolding news. Four Blasts Hit London. Prime Minister Blair is leaving Gleneagles to return to the capital to assess the situation and coordinate Government activity.

In addition to my general prayers for Londoners, I specifically hope that the London area bloggers I know are safe.

I have no doubts that London will get through this. Londoners are a fierce lot when roused. And they have surmounted many attempts to destroy them. In that spirit, I’ll reproduce the words of Winston Churchill from July 1941:

The impressive and inspiring spectacle we have witnessed displays the vigour and efficiency of the civil defence forces. They have grown up in the stress of emergency. They have been shaped and tempered by the fire of the enemy, and we saw them all, in their many grades and classe - the wardens, the rescue and first-aid parties, the casualty services, the decontamination squads, the fire services, the report and control centre staffs, the highways and public utility services, the messengers, the police. No one could but feel how great a people, how great a nation we have the honour to belong to. How complex, sensitive, and resilient is the society we have evolved over the centuries, and how capable of withstanding the most unexpected strain.

I must, however, admit that when the storm broke in September, I was for several weeks very anxious about the result. Sometimes the gas failed; sometimes the electricity. There were grievous complaints about the shelters and about conditions in them. Water was cut off, railways were cut or broken, large districts were destroyed, thousands were killed, and many more thousands were wounded. But there was one thing about which there was never any doubt. The courage, the unconquerable grit and stamina of our people, showed itself from the very outset. Without that all would have failed. Upon that rock, all stood unshakable. All the public services were carried on, and all the intricate arrangements, far-reaching detils, involving the daily lives of so many millions, were carried out, improvised, elaborated, and perfected in the very teeth of the cruel and devastating storm.

We have to ask ourselves this question: Will the bombing attacks come back again? We have proceeded on the assumption that they will. Many new arrangements are being contrived as a result of the hard experience through which we have passed and the many mistakes which no doubt we have made - for success is the result of making many mistakes and learning from experience. If the lull is to end, if the storm is to renew itself, we will be ready, will will not flinch, we can take it again.

We ask no favours of the enemy. We seek from them no compunction. On the contrary, if tonight our people were asked to cast their vote whether a convention should be entered into to stop the bombing of cities, the overwhelming majority would cry, “No, we will mete out to them the measure, and more than the measure, that they have meted out to us.” The people with one voice would say: “You have committed every crime under the sun. Where you have been the least resisted there you have been the most brutal. It was you who began the indiscriminate bombing. We will have no truce or parley with you, or the grisly gang who work your wicked will. You do your worst - and we will do our best.” Perhaps it may be our turn soon; perhaps it may be our turn now.

We live in a terrible epoch of the human story, but we believe there is a broad and sure justice running through its theme. It is time that the enemy should be made to suffer in their own homelands something of the torment they have let loose upon their neighbours and upon the world. We believe it to be in our power to keep this process going, on a steadily rising tide, month after month, year after year, until they are either extirpated by us or, better still, torn to pieces by their own people.

It is for this reason that I must ask you to be prepared for vehement counter-action by the enemy. Our methods of dealing with them have steadily improved. They no longer relish their trips to our shores. I do not know why they do not come, but it is certainly not because they have begun to love us more. It may be because they are saving up, but even if that be so, the very fact that they have to save up should give us confidence by revealing the truth of our steady advance from an almost unarmed position to superiority. But all engaged in our defence forces must prepare themselves for further heavy assaults. Your organization, your vigilance, your devotion to duty, your zeal for the cause must be raised to the highest intensity.

We do not expect to hit without being hit back, and we intend with every week that passes to hit harder. Prepare yourselves, then, my friends and comrades, for this renewal of your exertions. We shall never turn from our purpose, however sombre the road, however grievous the cost, because we know that out of this time of trial and tribulation will be born a new freedom and glory for all mankind.

God bless the people of London.

Carry on.

UPDATE: So far the confirmed dead appears to be 40. Over 300 injured. A group stylizing itself as a branch of Al-Qaeda in Europe is taking responsibility and threatening attacks in Italy and Denmark as well. This is of particular personal concern to your Maximum Leader as he has family going to Italy today.

UPDATE 2: Today’s Men’s Club posting on Jealousy - written by your Maximum Leader will be published tomorrow AM.

UPDATE 3: Queen “shocked” and gives support to emergency services. Pope Benedict XVI says attacks “barbaric attacks against humanity.” President Bush vows to find trrorists and bring them to justice. (Or one hopes bring “justice” to them.)

UPDATE 4: Times of India reports Italian Al-Qaeda cell claims responsibility. Israeli Finance Minister Benjamin Netanyahu was near one of the blasts. And advises London Jews to be on alert. (One would suspect they are already.)

UPDATE 5: As noted by others, Glenn Reynolds has a great clearing house of good links. London Mayor Ken Livingston (whom your Maximum Leader doesn’t generally hold in high regard) sounds quasi Churchillian. Fox News is also doing a good job of keeping up a running summary of news.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader reads that rap star Lil’ Kim, recently convicted for perjury, is going to be goin’ to the Big House for a year and a day. She will also be paying a $50,000 fine.

Prosecutors wanted a 3 year sentance. The maximum sentance would have been 20 years.

Lil’ Kim admits that she now knows what she did was wrong. And she is so wery wery so-wee for being a bad girl.

Now, your Maximum Leader has never heard a Lil’ Kim song (rap - whatever) in his life. And frankly, were it not for her proclivity to wear skimpy outfits that show off her rather ample boobs (thereby making her a favourite for the paparazzi) your Maximum Leader would have no idea who the hell she was. Indeed, the first time your Maximum Leader saw a photo of Lil’ Kim he thought she might be some wild porn star.

Well, now that she is going to the Poke, she might wind up being a “porn star” to someone. Well, that is unlikely one supposes. She probably will have an automatic posse in the clink to keep her safe. And it would also seem likely that she wouldn’t have to worry about being raped in the shower by a bunch of butch lesbians who like soaping up… A lot…

Indeed, it would seem that if anything, Lil’ Kim will eventually emerge from her enforced vacation with renewed and upgraded “street cred.” She should parley that into millions of more records sold…

Excursus - Other than outside the south does anyone call prison “the poke?” Just wondering.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader sees that the good Dr. Rusty has been keeping up with a breaking news story. The story is that 5 Americans are being held by US forces in Iraq for fighting with the terrorists.

Dr. Rusty is doing a much better job of keeping things updated than would your Maximum Leader. So go and read the latest.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader should spend more time reading French tabloids. It would have the dual salutary affect of improving his meagre French skills as well as keep him up to speed on which unmarried Royals are going around fathering bastard sons by Air France flight attendants.

Albert, your Maximum Leader hardly knew ye! Your Maximum Leader expected that you got around, but he always assumed that you were “protected” against “that” sort of “thing” happening. This isn’t the middle ages and all when Kings and Princes had whole divisions of bastard sons. (Like Henry Fitzroy, Duke of Richmond and Somerset.) That said, your Maximum Leader is happy that you passed along that elusive Grimaldi “Y” chromosome. Will the little one grow up to be “Count So and So” or “Margrave Such and Such.” Who knows?

Anyhow… This settles a long-standing wager between Mrs. Villain and your Maximum Leader. She thought that a handsome, put-together guy like Prince Albert would have married years ago - unless he was gay. Mrs. Villain became convinced that the Prince was gay. Your Maximum Leader always believed that Albert just wanted to “play the field.” It seems that the field was played indeed.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader thought he would shock you with that title line. A line in your Maximum Leader’s last post caused his good friend the Big Hominid to write him a longish e-mail missive about the French. And while the details of that message are not important, it did cause your Maximum Leader to think more about what he does love about France and the French.

There is, as many may know, a lot to love about France and the French. Alas, their elected officials and policy stance is wrongheaded (to your Maximum Leader at least); but that doesn’t condemn a whole nation.

Your Maximum Leader loves the French and France for their food. He once had an old French lady teach him how to properly scramble eggs. It was a perfect exercise in what makes French cooking so good. First you let the eggs warm to just below room temp. Then you break them gently into a very large bowl. She fished out the yokes with a spoon and put them into another bowl. She would then whip the whites until they were nearly ready for meringue. Then she would beat the yokes in the other bowl. She would combine the yokes and whites together with a little fresh cream in the big bowl. Then came salt and pepper. Then she would melt butter in a huge iron skillet. Then when the butter was melted (but not brown - watch the temperature) she would add the eggs to the skillet. She would be careful to lift and fold the eggs as they cooked. She didn’t beat them in the skillet. When the cooking was nearly done and the eggs were still very moist she would take a spoon and give them a nice firm stir to break up the peices. Then they were ready for plating and eating.

Those are some damned good eggs.

Of course, the fact that one would have to clean up two bowls, a skillet, two whisks, a rubber scraper/spatula, and a metal spoon (not to mention a plate and whatever cutlery you were eating with) after making scrambled eggs is a bit much. Also, the whole process took about 25 mins. (All that beating and such is done by hand.)

That is a lot for some eggs. But once again, those eggs are damned good.

Excursus: This technique was duplicated by another elderly woman your Maximum Leader once knew. She spend a good portion of her life in France. She was actually Russian by birth. Her family fled the Revolution (nobility). They lived off the money they got from selling the family jewels in Paris. She stayed in Paris until the Germans came in WW2. Then she went to Switzerland. After the war, she went to Italy. Then back to Paris. Then to London. There she met a handsome American whom she married and they moved back to the greater Washington DC area. But that is another story…

True French cuisine takes time. And patience. And technique. Speaking of cuisine, your Maximum Leader has a great Coq au Vin recipe he is waiting to try in true French fashion. You see, he’s done this recipe before with store bought chicken. But to do it in true French fashion (country fashion that is - as Coq au Vin is a country dish) he needs an old, sinewy, thin bird. The type you don’t find in a grocery store. (Lucky for your Maximum Leader he knows of a farmer who has some old birds lying around on his farm…) If he started this Coq au Vin recipe today, it would be ready for eatin on Friday night. You can’t rush these things…

Therein is something important about French cuisine. You can’t rush it. Perhaps the French have learned something about living and life that we in the US have not. We have sacrificed quality for convenience in many cases. Fast food (since we’re talking food here) is a great example of this. What do you really gain by eating at McDonalds, Burger King, or Wendy’s? You gain some time (supposedly). Time you can use doing something else. But do you really do anything meaningful with that time? Probably not. So rather than spending an hour or so eating a good meal, you’ll spend 20 mins eating crap so that you can spend 40 minutes watching TV or surfing internet porn? Your Maximum Leader is guilty of trading for time when he eats, but he tries not to make a habit of it. Perhaps the cultural glorification of food in France is an outward sign of the French being more at ease about life. Sure the French are not going to be outpacing Americans in productivity any time soon, but have they realized a certain quality of living should be reflected upon? Perhaps they have.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is returned from a long weekend with no internet connectivity. Well… In all honesty, he was back yesterday. But he didn’t post out of a combination of having lots of stuff to do and laziness.

But he is back with a vengance today.

The big news of the morning appears to be that London has been awarded the 2012 Olympic Games. Cheers to the people of London and to the people of Great Britain. Your Maximum Leader is sure the games will be great.

Of course, for every winner, there are a series of losers. They are, in this case, Moscow, Madrid, New York, and (heh) Paris. In the final presentation to the IOC, Jacques Chirac said “You can put your trust and faith in France…” Heh. Faith and trust to do what? Be international contrarians? Make fantastic food? Continue to decrease the hours in a work week? Defeat the EU Constitution? Your Maximum Leader is still puzzling over that one. (Defeating the EU Constitution that is.)

Now, one supposes that Tony Blair can thumb his nose at Chirac for his comments about British food. Now say what you will, but British food is not really bad at all. It is much more international than you would think. London is one of, if not THE, most international cities in the wold. And their cuisine reflects the influences of the whole world.

Now that said, your Maximum Leader will go on the record saying that the best meals he’s ever eaten were prepared by two of the most fastidious cultures in the world. Namely the French and the Japanese. French cuisine is wonderful because of the mentality needed to truly do justice to French food.

But French food is likely the subject of another post…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader doesn’t know if you all saw that footage of Turkish police killing the failed suicide bomber. (Failed in the sense that he failed to detonate his bomb - but was successful in the getting himself killed department. So that means that he was probably batting .500 in that respect.) The footage was rather graphic. But a follow-on news article from Reuters disturbed your Maximum Leader. Here is the article: Turk police shoot dead suspected suicide bomber.

Here are the disturbing points for your Maximum Leader. “Suspected” Sure the terrorist was “suspected” in trying to bomb the Justice Ministry building. But his bomb failed to detonate. That would lead your Maximum Leader to believe that once the boby was examined there was little suspicion of the terrorist’s intentions.

The other disturbing point is how sensitive the Turks have to be in this whole matter. The Justice Minister is quoted as saying the police weren’t trigger-happy but had to shoot the man because he had a bomb on his person that he was intent to use. Then the Justice Minister went on to say that Turkey will improve its human rights.

Wha? Your Maximum Leader is confused. You are defending the actions of the police who killed a terrorist bent on destroying himself and taking as many others as he could with him? Who are you defending your actions from? Oh… That’s right. Europeans. Those sensitive Euro-weanies.

Well Turkish Justice Minister Cemil Cicek, your Maximum Leader doffs his bejeweled floppy hat to you and the police who did the shooting. Job well done. One more dead bad-guy. Kill some more if you find them trying to blow up any other buildings.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader was perusing the blogroll and noticed the following post from Professor Chaos: Conditioned Response.

In it the good Prof muses what beer should one pour on the ground to symbolize your solidarity with your dead homies.

Well Peeps. Your Maximum Leader (aka: Fine Ass M Ice) thinks the answer if the dead homies were beer drinkers would have to be Colt 45. If they liked a little of the hard stuff it would have to be Stoli.

Of course, if you really loved yo bruthaz, then it would be Crystal.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is surprised. He reads that O’Connor to Retire From Supreme Court. Your Maximum Leader (and everyone else) figured it would be Rehnquist.

Well… Batten down the hatches of partisanship. And let the battle begin!

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader found himself watching a little morning news today while getting up at the Villainschloss.

Particularly, your Maximum Leader was struck by a report that Alabama Senator Richard Shelby was writing Secretary of State Rice asking Secretary Rice to encourage the Government of Aruba to basically turn over the Natalee Holloway investigation over to the FBI.

Your Maximum Leader supposes the next step will be to send US Prosecutors, Judges, Defence Counsel, and Jurors to Aruba for the trial.

Now last time your Maximum Leader checked, Aruba was a part of the Kingdom of the Netherlands. One wonders what Queen Beatrix is thinking about this whole case. One wonders what the government of the Netherlands in general is thinking about this case. Afterall, a US Senator is pretty much asking the US Secretary of State to ask the Arubans (and Dutch by extension) to give up their sovreignty to the US for the duration of this investigation.

Your Maximum Leader wonders if we’ll next hear George W. Bush call for “Holloway alive or van der Sloot dead!”

Really now… You’ve got Aruban Prosecutors saying that they “are not a bunch of cowboys here.” How can you expect that justice be done when you have an attitude like that? Where is that famed Ole West Posse justice that the Arubans and Dutch are famous for?

Your Maximum Leader supposes that if the Arubans don’t move more quickly in resolving this matter the US will just have to invade. We just cannot stand by idly while our blondes disappear while on vacation after meeting up with exotic men in a tropical paradise. The real question would be what to do with Aruba after the US invasion. One can’t expect that the limpDutch will actually try to take the island back. So that leaves the US with two choices. Annex the island as a US Commonwealth; or hold local elections and let the Arubans decide what they want. Your Maximum Leader bets that Aruba is tired of suffering under the autocratic heel of a despotic monarch thousands of miles away anyway. They are probably chomping at the bit to be rid of their Dutch overlords.

Who knows what will happen?

Your Maximum Leader feels confident of one thing though… Natalee Holloway is dead and it is seemingly more unlikely that her killers will be brought to justice.

Carry on.

Would you rather be a part of the Mike World Order or the MoP World Order?

For your consideration, I submit the results of my latest quiz:

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Believe.

I laughed at the Maximum Leader’s results for this quiz until I took it myself. Now ML is frightening me . . .

Believe.