Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader debated last year about dropping the dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt from the premier position at the top of the list of objects of his platonic affections. He toyed with dropping JLH in favor of Lola Astanova.

Well… Recently your Maximum Leader has decided to just make the break… JLH is still sorta dreamy, but she is just desperate and weird. She bedazzels her vay-jay-jay. (Ewwww.) And the way she seems to talk about dating and relationships makes your Maximum Leader think that JLH is Jennifer Aniston lite.

So… Your Maximum Leader proudly announces that the object of his platonic affections is the lovely and very (VERY) talented Lola Astanova.

Wanna learn more about the lovely Lola? How about checking out a nice peice on her in the Wall Street Journal?

If you really want a taste of why your Maximum Leader is drawn to Miss Astanova, go visit her website and download one of the pieces from her “Debut” album. You’ll not be disappointed. Your Maximum Leader gladly paid full price for it on iTunes…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is going to have to buy a another computer or something. It is getting ridiculous at the Villainschloss. Mrs Villain is using her laptop most nights for school. The Villainettes are using your Maximum Leader’s computer for school. So your Maximum Leader who has pithiness to share with you all, is found watching TV and not sharing his pearls of pithiness.

Ah well…

Your Maximum Leader hopes Scott Brown can pull out a win in the Massachusetts Senate special election today. He doesn’t feel quite as confident as many of his political fellow-travellers. But he does feel it will be a very close outcome. Your Maximum Leader has always said that he is a great fan of divided government. And he is. Getting Scott Brown in the Senate will truly divide our government in a way it has not been divided over the past year. And yes, our government has been divided over the past year. It has been divided between the House and the Senate with the President standing by trying to “influence” things. That is not enough division for your Maximum Leader. He’d like to have a Senate with enough Republicans to sustain a fillibuster.

You know… All this talk of how the President has done over his first year seems to be the first stages of setting up for the rash of stories on how the administration hasn’t done much and is likely looking more likely to fail over the long-term. Your Maximum Leader is well aware that there are three years more in the term and that things can change very dramatically and very quickly. So, while your Maximum Leader is willing to say that so far the President and his team hasn’t done anything noteworthy yet (and adding Scott Brown to the Senate soon would not help him at all); he isn’t willing to declare the Obama Presidency over and failed. That is just stupid.

Your Maximum Leader, while not blogging last night, watched the speech by his Excellency Robert Francis McDonnell, the Governor of the Commonwealth of Virginia to the Joint Session of the Virginia General Assembly. It was a good speech. The person operating the teleprompter should be flogged as there were at least three short delivery issues that your Maximum Leader things were all teleprompter related. All in all your Maximum Leader was pleased with the speech and the initiatives laid out therein. (Your Maximum Leader especially hopes that Virginia can lead East Coast states in expanding domestic energy production. He hopes we can auction exploration rights for oil drilling soon. He also hopes we can do more with coal gassification and nuclear power in the state. He’d like to see Virginia be the great energy exporter on the East Coast of the US.) Your Maximum Leader knows that there will be lots of compromises and changes to what the Governor wants. He does have a friendly House of Delegates, but the Democrats have a majority in the State Senate. There will be lots of compromising and wheeling-and-dealing. We’ll see how the 60 day session goes. Your Maximum Leader spoke briefly with the Smallholder last night. Smallholder was pretty critical of the Governor’s plans on changing the teacher pension system in the state. Your Maximum Leader is not unsympathetic towards Smallholder’s position, especially as it will impact Mrs Villain. But, at this stage changes to the pension system are all proposed and there is a lot of negotiating to be done. We’ll see how it goes.

Your Maximum Leader and Smallholder also mentioned Jennifer Love Hewitt. Ms Hewitt has been in the news recently because apparently she has been decorating her “hoo-ha.” Apparently she “be-dazzels” her “va-jay-jay.” Your Maximum Leader is a bit scandalized by this. On the one hand it seems like the dreamy JLH could be a bit more kinky than he suspected. On the other hand she might just be bat-shit crazy. She is likely a bit of both.

Your Maximum Leader should probably start looking around for a new platonic object of his affections. Kristen Bell? Mila Kunis? Who knows…

Be-dazzeled bits… Ewwww…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is borrowing a post title from good ole Tom Leherer. Damn that man was funny. One can suspect that he is still funny, although not performing. Sadly, this post will be neither funny nor informative. It will likely be crap.

Since it has been a few days you’ve probably been wondering, “Self, what has happened to my Maximum Leader? I feel lost without his inspired musings.” Well… Your Maximum Leader has been taking care of Maximum Leaderly things. You know like creating fake “balloon boy” stories to distract people from the real news. He has also be shuttling his handsome children from one activity to another. Damn. Those kids are doing a lot. Karate. Piano lessons. Sports. “Play dates.” It is crazy. Then when he’s had time to sit down and relax he’s been watching some early season hockey and now baseball playoffs. Blogging hasn’t seemed like a priority.

Even if blogging hadn’t seemed like a priority over the week, your Maximum Leader’s love of his minions has caused his fingers to itch for the keyboard so that he can share some thoughts about the week’s events with you all.

First off… Your Maximum Leader, as many of you know already, is not a big Rush Limbaugh fan. And when he says “not a big fan” he really means “not a fan at all.” Anyhoo… Your Maximum Leader knows that Rush has said things in his 20 years on the air that have offended people. But to cite quotes that he apparently didn’t say in order to blackball him from a group trying to buy the St. Louis Rams football team is low. Very low. It is both lazy and inexcusable for the press to use unsourced books for gathering offensive Limbaugh quotes rather than actually trying to use the approximately 14,500 hours of recorded material from his radio show to get a quote. Your Maximum Leader feels pity and distain towards the reporters who started to circulate the fake quotes and he feels a little sympathy towards Rush Limbaugh. Your Maximum Leader knows that conservative commentators aren’t given any slack or even the benefit of doubt when it comes to racial issues; but this strikes him as being beyond the pale.

Having said that, your Maximum Leader doesn’t believe that the group dropping Limbaugh from investor list is a problem. That is a business transaction. These things happen. Frankly, the NFL saying that they didn’t want Limbaugh is a little much for your Maximum Leader; but that too is a business matter. Your Maximum Leader isn’t going to get worked up about this part of the story.

Your Maximum Leader has seen the tops of Meghan McCain’s boobs this week. Your Maximum Leader thinks that Meghan McCain is sorta cute. He is a little disappointed in the hullaballoo that has ensued after that photo got around. People need to lighten up some. If a paparazzi photo of her appeared on the internet showing her in a swimsuit would she still be a slut? Doubtful on that call. Sure this was a silly thing to do; but to jump all over her (metaphorically) is crazy.

While speaking of Meghan McCain… She seems to be writing for some web site and excoriating social conservatives for being… socially conservatives. Many conservatives don’t seem to believe that there is a place in the Republican party for Meghan McCain or others with similar beliefs. Perhaps we should all think back to 1994 when the Republican’s took back the House of Representatives. The “Contract with America” didn’t contain any major “socially conservative” clauses. (The reduction of welfare spending could be considered a budgetary matter with a social component.) The thrust of the contract was to reduce the size of the government and balance the budget. Now we know that the late Republican House didn’t end well on that count; but your Maximum Leader would argue that the future for the conservative movement, and Republican party, is to get back to the macro-economic issues and broad ideas on the size and scope of the federal government. Tabling some of the more divisive social agenda and actually producing on the economic/government side of the equation has been a winning formula in the past and should be in the future. It would likely be easier to have conservatives and Republicans coalesce around a few basic agreeable principles than to demand action on all fronts. (Indeed, just look at how action on all fronts seems to be working out for the President right now.)

Olympia Snowe voted to get the health care bill out of committee. That is sad news. One hopes that the liberal House will insist on keeping the poison-pill public-option in the bill and Olympia (and Susan Collins) will decided to opt out of the final bill. If Democrats want the bill they should pass the bill. They have the votes. It is clear that they want something resembling “bipartisanship” on the bill. But it is also clear that the votes aren’t really there. Just pass a bill if you have the balls to (which your Maximum Leader doubts). Otherwise just shut the hell up and try a different approach - like tort reform and removing some of the barriers to interstate insurance competition…

Oh yes… It looks like the dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt might be back on the market soon. Good news for some lucky guy. (NB to JLH: call your Maximum Leader. He is not your love match. Well, perhaps an unrequited platonic love type of thing. He needs to sit you down and find out where your mind is. He fears you are becoming a needy emotional wreck like Jennifer Aniston. You don’t need to go down that path. You need to be more comfortable about yourself and less emotionally dependent on losers to validate your self-image… Your Maximum Leader is the only person from whom you need approval. Just call… And send photos… Preferably in a Naked Villainy T-shirt and Thong…)

Well… That is about it for now. Perhaps your Maximum Leader will blog more later. Perhaps not. He does know that he’s got a great weekend planned. Perhaps there will be photos in it for you later…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader decided to go silly for day four of his listmania trip. He sees that his readers want a list with women… So here it is… A revised edition of the list that started it all.

THE TOP TEN MOST DESIRABLE WOMEN IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD - EVAH!
(In no particular order and excluding the lovely Mrs Villain - who is always my number one.)

1. Helen of Troy
2. Sophia Loren
3. Jennifer Love Hewitt
4. Olivia de Havilland
5. Vivian Leigh
6. Salma Hayek
7. Ornella Muti
8. Summer Glau
9. Irene Langhorne
10. Grace Kelly

Honorable mentions: Carole Bouquet, Raquel Welch, Katharine Hepburn, Diahann Carroll, Hedy Lamarr, Veronica Lake, Catherine Deneuve, Monica Bellucci, Eva Green, Crown Princess Victoria of Sweden, Margaret Thatcher, Deborah Kerr, Marilyn Monroe, Queen Rania of Jordan, and Christie Brinkley.

There you go. Have at it…

Carry on.

UPDATE FROM YOUR MAXIMUM LEADER: Damn… So. Many. Names. So. Little. Memory.

Even more for the list: Ingrid Bergman, Parker Posey, Ava Gardner, Evelyn Nesbit, Mary-Louise Parker, Mara Carfagna and probably many others… (Others including Grace Thorsen…)

Oh yes… Your Maximum Leader has no real methodology for assessing desireability in private life across so much time and distance. Indeed he’ll concede that many of those on this list are probably not the type of person you’d want to spend lots of time with… He’s talking about base desire…

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader wishes he had some sort of interesting reason to explain his absence from blogging. Alas… It all comes down to two things. The first has been spending time with family (nothing wrong - just holidays and everyone is around). The second is “Destroy All Humans: Path of the Furon” for X-box 360. He has played (according to the last saved game he checked) DAH for about 13 hours over the past few days. That is 13 hours he hasn’t been blogging. Or interacting with his family. Or doing much of anything. All in all DAH is an okay game. The graphics could be better than they are. There are some disturbing Chinese stereotypes being used. But all in all the game is fun for a jade nearly-40 something that is just looking to blow off some steam.

Now you are likely asking yourself, “Self, what is all this gaming have to do with schadendreude?”

Funny you should ask.

According to reports, Scottish Actor Ross McCall is a single man.

So what you might ask?

Well that means that the DREAMY JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT IS AVAILABLE!!!! Woo hoo! Your Maximum Leader hopes that McCall weeps salty tears into his oatmeal as he travels back to the mother country in search of a good Scottish red-haired Heather.

Yes… Now that the dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt is back on the market she may resume her place as the object of your Maximum Leader’s (platonic) affections.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader wishes all of you, his loyal readers, a very Happy New Year. He hopes that you are all well and not too hung over. Your Maximum Leader, as is his habit, didn’t do too much to celebrate New Years. Indeed, for many years the extent of his celebration consisted of hanging around with his best buddy Kevin. We would watch movies, and then switch over to Dick Clark at about 11:55. We’d watch the ball drop in Times Square, then we would go back to watching movies until we drifted into the clutches of Morpheus. Now that Kevin is in Korea, our old plan is not practical. So, your Maximum Leader stays at home with is family and watches movies and then switches to Dick Clark at about 11:55 and watches the ball drop.

Pretty exciting huh?

Excursus: Your Maximum Leader isn’t sure how he should feel watching Dick Clark. On the one hand, Clark has made great progress since his stroke a few years ago. But on the other hand, your Maximum Leader feels badly watching him. He is overwhelmed by a feeling of being voyeuristic when watching Clark.

You know who your Maximum Leader misses on New Years Eve? Guy Lombardo and his Royal Canadians. He went out and bought a copy of Auld Lang Syne on iTunes to satisfy this nostalgic feeling.

Anyhoo, your Maximum Leader generally does indulge himself with a bottle of Pol Roger on New Years. But this year he opted to go with an Italian sparkling wine from Veneto. It was very good (he should say it is very good, as he hasn’t quite finished the bottle yet). The Processo he bought is dry with undercurrents of fruit (apples or pears). This sparkling wine has the benefit of only being about $17 a bottle - as opposed to the $50 a bottle your Maximum Leader is used to spending on the Pol Roger. Your Maximum Leader isn’t sure that he is enjoying the Italian wine as much as he has enjoyed the champagne in the past; but it is still pretty tasty.

Speaking of tasty…

The Almond encrusted pork loin was quite delicious. Your Maximum Leader took is massive pork tenderloin (featured in the post below) and cut it into thirds. He went ahead and prepared two of the three pieces for Christmas. He and his family wound up eating one third on Christmas day. The other prepared third was itself divided into thirds and divied up between your Maximum Leader’s in-laws, parents, and hungry self.

The third portion of tenderloin is thawed out and waiting to be prepared tonight. Your Maximum Leader hasn’t heard from anyone on a good preparation (NB to Mrs P: You teased me with a promise of recipe…). So he thinks he will do a typical rosemary and garlic marinade for a few hours then roast.

In unrelated news, Your Maximum Leader should tell you all that he’s been thinking recently that there is some big question in his life to which he knows the answer. The answer is (apparently) Venice. Yes, the city in Italy. He isn’t sure what the question is, but feels that Venice is the answer.

Anyhoo…

On to New Years resolutions. Your Maximum Leader will share a few of his with you all.

In 2008 your Maximum Leader will bring peace to the Church of the Nativity in Bethlehem.

In 2008 your Maximum Leader will compete as his own nation in the summer Olympics in Beijing. He will not finish lower than fourth in every event. He will accomplish this feat by using his heretofore unknown ability to warp the time-space continuum.

In 2008 your Maximum Leader will win every Nobel Prize available when he completes his “Grand Unified Theory.” This theory, which will be ultimately be confirmed by scientists from the Gamma-Zeta 294 system 8,433 years from now, will unify all practical questions of physics, chemistry, biology, mathematics, and literature. The key to the unification of science will be the proto-electroneuquark partical - also known affectionately as “The Maxy”.

In 2008 your Maximum Leader will end global warming by meditating for 72 hours straight under a blossoming tree surrounded by dancing wood-nymphs.

In 2008 your Maximum Leader will be elected President of the United States without receiving a single popular vote. He will win a unanimous vote of the Electoral College. After his inauguration in 2009, Canada, Great Britain, Mexico, Brazil and Lichenstein will voluntarially surrender their national sovreignty to your Maximum Leader and the Mike World Order shall begin.

In 2008 your Maximum Leader will wish the previously dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt a happy married life; he will move on to the passionate Lola Astanova as the object of his platonic affections.

In 2008 your Maximum Leader will try to improve the quality (if not quantity) of blog posts here at Naked Villainy.

There you have them. Your Maximum Leader is pretty sure he can keep up with at least two of them…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has been thinking about the object of his platonic affections, the dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt. He’s not been thinking about all the press she is getting as a result of her appearing “fat” in those bikini photos (to which your Maximum Leader linked a few posts ago).

He’s been thinking about her future as the object of his platonic affections.

He’s decided that when the dreamy Miss Hewitt ties the knot with her betrothed, she will cease to be the object of platonic affections.

Yes, your Maximum Leader is throwing Miss Hewitt under the proverbial bus because she’s decided to get hitched.

So your Maximum Leader is on the lookout for a new woman that he can call dreamy and write meaningless posts about.

If you would like to suggest an attrative single woman, feel free to do so in the comments. Your Maximum Leader is leaning towards the lovely, talented, and Slavic (Tagik?) Lola Astanova as the new object of his affection.

Have you heard of Lola Astanova? Her album (named appropriately “Debut” - available exclusively at iTunes) has been played and played on his iPod recently. Here is a Wiki page on Miss Astanova.

Here is a video of Miss Astanova on Fox Business on November 1.

Here is another video for your edification, this time from some morning program…

Yes… Lola…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader sees that Scottish actor Ross McCall is one lucky man. He is now engaged to marry the dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt.

It seems that the photos (mentioned below) were of McCall and Miss Hewitt on vacation in Hawaii. In one of the photos you can see a big ole ring on the appropriate finger…

Your Maximum Leader will issue a statement on this news as time allows.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader was distracted yesterday. Very distracted. He found it hard to concentrate on just about anything. He found himself thinking of the warm southern California sun and the beaches of Malibu as he remembers them from his last visit out to the west coast…

(Excursus: Has your Maximum Leader ever told you all that he had a recurring dream for a number of years about walking on a the beach at Santa Monica with an attractive (and scantilly clad) latina girl? We were eating Wahoo Fish Tacos on the beach and discussing Burke’s “Reflections”. Some might call that odd… It seemed perfectly normal to your Maximum Leader…)

Anyhoo…

Your Maximum Leader was distracting and dreaming of California thanks to Mike of Curmudgeonry. You see, Mike is good about sending his (and your) Maximum Leader linky-links related to the dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt. Yesterday, he sent his Maximum Leader this link. While your Maximum Leader could overlook the few photos of that included both the dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt and her (Scottish) boyfriend - he was a little distracted by the images of the dreamy Miss Hewitt in a bikini.

Now… Your Maximum Leader chanced to be caught glancing at these photos by one of his acquaintances while sipping a drink at the local coffee house. The acquaintance noted that the dreamy Miss Hewitt seemed a bit “hippy.” This is “hippy” as in “having hips” and not the sort of dirty scoundrel we all love to hate (that is “hippie”). Your Maximum Leader happens to like hips. Women have hips you know. They accentuate the curves. That is their purpose. The curve of the hip allures and draws the eye of the man. (Of course, they also facilitate childbirth - but that is another post.) Your Maximum Leader likes his women to look like women and not waifs.

Anyhoo…

Your Maximum Leader was distracted yesterday… And by the way… Thanks Mike for the post-fodder. Your Maximum Leader tips his bejeweled floppy (mylan) cap in your direction.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader, when the vapor lock has him, finds himself going to an ole standby for a post… Something about the dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt…

Yes… Some website has names the dreamy Miss Hewitt the Number 5 most attrative woman to watch in HDTV. As you all know, your Maximum Leader gives the dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt the solid number One position in analog AND HD; but it is nice to see others are thinking about her. (Excursus: Perhaps too many people are thinking about her… If you catch your Maximum Leader’s meaning…)

Also on the list… Okay… Not the whole list but only those who your Maximum Leader has heard of/seen/can comment upon:

10) Angie Harmon. Grrr Baby. That Jason Seahorn is one lucky guy. Your Maximum Leader misses her on Law and Order. We’ll always have re-runs on A&E.

8 ) Hayden Panettiere. Your Maximum Leader has never seen Heros, but this little girl is cute.

6 ) Rebecca Romijn. Once again, your Maximum Leader has never seen “Ugly Betty” - but if he knew that Rebecca Romijn was starring in it, he might try to catch an episode.

1) Giada De Laurentiis. Whew… Todd (Mr Giada De Laurentiis) is one lucky guy. Landing Giada. Not only does he have all those film producers in the family, but Giada to cook for him.

Your Maximum Leader notices that a certain someone from “My Name is Earl” is not anywhere to be found on the list… Hummm… One suspects that the writer of the list had a modicum of taste and discernment…

Carry on.

I’m sorry for the dearth of posting.

I’ve been busy.

So busy, in fact, that I have totally not been paying attention to entertainment news. For instance, I have no idea who won the Emmy for best supporting actress in a comedy.

I guess I can safely assume it was not “she of the enormous forehead,” or the Maximum Leader would have let us know.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader was going to wait until next week for this post… But since he’s on a roll now… Here it goes… By the way, isn’t that a catchy title line?

It has been a while since your Maximum Leader has blogged about the platonic apple of his blogging eye, the dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt. She hasn’t really been in the news much, so your Maximum Leader’s been keeping his fancies to himself. But thanks to Entertainment Weekly dot com, he now has blog fodder…

You see, recently the dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt was on the receiving end of EW’s “Stupid Questions” column. Your Maximum Leader read this peice with glee. He’ll excerpt some of his favourite bits…

EW: Do you ever wish you didn’t have the ability to see dead people in real life, too?
JLH: It is a bit taxing. Elvis is constantly asking me questions. Make him a peanut-butter-and-banana sandwich. Play his record louder in my house. I’m like, ”Elvis, I don’t have time right now!”

Ah… Another lover of Elvis who is not a wacko conspiracy theorist who thinks that Elvis is still alive and in some sort of witness protection program. Your Maximum Leader (a great Elvis fan) was introduced at a party to guy named (if he remembers correctly) Chris, who was reputed to be a “big Elvis fan.” During the course of conversation Chris asked your Maximum Leader if he (your Maximum Leader that is) knew that Elvis was in the witness protection program. Your Maximum Leader admitted that he did not know this and asked why Elvis was in the witness protection program. Chris said it was because of Elvis’ role in breaking up the Peruvian drug mobs. Your Maximum Leader then said that he’d never heard about Peruvian drug mobs. At this point Chris snapped his fingers and pointed at his Maximum Leader with one motion and declared “Exactly.” QED your Maximum Leader supposes…

But back to the dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt stupid questions interview!

EW: When people look up at your face, are your breasts like, ”Hey! Eyes down here, buddy!”

JLH: My boobs talk to people a lot: ”Mine are bigger than yours.” They say that when they’re in the mall and they see other ones. And, ”Do these make my butt look big?” By the way, I’m doing this interview in the makeup trailer, and someone just walked in and heard me say, ”My boobs talk a lot.” Everyone here is very concerned for my well-being.

Jennifer Love Hewitt has boobs! Your Maximum Leader had never noticed… She does have lovely eyes, and pretty hair.

EW: John Mayer reportedly wrote a hit song about you. To save time for our fact-checkers, will you confirm that your body is a wonderland, or at least possesses characteristics similar to one?
JLH: My body is far from a wonderland. My body is more like a pawnshop. There’s a lot of interesting things put together, and if you look closely you’d probably be excited, but at first glance, not so much.

Oh… This sets up so many comments. But the one your Maximum Leader will settle on is: “Jennifer… Love… Your Maximum Leader has a gun he’d like to pawn…”

Anyhoo… If you are interested the whole piece is here.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader uses a customized My Yahoo page as his home page. Of course, you - the loyal reader - might have already noticed this as your Maximum Leader often finds articles to link from the Yahoo feeds of the various news wire services. Your Maximum Leader wonders if his use of the Yahoo page classifies him as a fossil? It seems so 1996… Humm… 1996/7 might have been the year that your Maximum Leader first customized his Yahoo page… Gawd…

Anyhoo…

From time to time Yahoo dishes up a piece that your Maximum Leader wouldn’t ordinarially click through and read, but for some reason this title caught his attention: What His Celeb Crush Says About Him. Your Maximum Leader admits his reasons for clicking on the link were purely salacious. He was hoping to catch a candid photo of some attractive female celeb. Specifically, he was hoping to catch a photo of the dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt.

Well… Was he disappointed when he finally read through and read the article? Yes he was. Having a “crush” on Angelina Jolie may mean that a man likes: “a do-gooder woman who also isn’t afraid to show a bit of a wild streak. It’s the reason why Jolie tops so many men’s wish lists: They want the woman who is good, but not too good. And the woman who is sultry, but not too sultry.” Great Jeezey Creezey! What mindless tripe that is. We all know that Angelina Jolie was positively nutty prior to her determining to be a mom. Marrying Billy Bob, wearing blood, “cutting” herself. All signs of being crazy. Now that she is a mom she is a do-gooder. Has Angelina done anything wacky recently? And by wacky your Maximum Leader isn’t talking about joining the Council on Foreign Relations so she could pick Henry Kissinger’s brain on the crisis in the Sudan. Nope… She hasn’t.

All in all the piece was just sad. It didn’t even attempt to offer any insight as to why a man (like your Maximum Leader) might have a “crush” on the dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt. Since it didn’t, allow your Maximum Leader to offer some insight. If your Maximum Leader has a “crush” on the dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt it may mean that he likes young attractive women who seem to have a sense of modesty (in that they will not pose nekkid in some magazine) yet still are sexy. It may mean that he likes women who seem “grounded” and “real” and not all completely caught up in Hollywood.

Then again… It may mean nothing…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has gone what, a week or more, without writing a post about the dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt? At least a week anyhow…

Well… What should your Maximum Leader read today but that the dreamy Miss Hewitt won a Saturn Award for Best Actress Science Fiction, Horror, or Fantasy Television program. Take THAT Mr and Mrs Emmy! Hah! Your silly golden statue ain’t got nuthin’ on the Saturn Award! Nuthin’

Okay… Your Maximum Leader admits that he’s never heard of the Saturn Awards until this very day. They seem to give away some shiny golden thingie. One must wonder if the star must receive the award in person, or if they can just have their housekeeper sign for it when the UPS guy delivers it after awards show airs on a Los Angeles area cable access channel.

Anyhoo… Congratulations to the very dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt. You won a best actress award, your series was picked up for another season. Things are going well for you. They would be going better for you if you would drop your Maximum Leader a line from time to time… But hey, you must be a busy woman.

A few days ago, our friend - the delightful Mrs P - directed your Maximum Leader towards an article in the Daily Mail about the very beautiful Sophia Loren. It seems that Mrs. Loren recently attended a party for her film studio. At the party Miss Loren (or is it Mrs Ponti? - aged 72) wore a dress with a rather plunging neckline. (If you clicky on the linky you will see her in the dress.) Now some are speculating that Miss Loren (really - should she really be Mrs Ponti?) has gone under the knife the enhance her “figure.”

Frankly, your Maximum Leader doesn’t know - and frankly doesn’t much care - if Sophia Loren has had cosmetic surgery. If she has, he will admit that he doesn’t understand why she might have done so. Regardless, for over 50 years Sophia Loren has been a stunningly beautiful woman. Your Maximum Leader would (if he were single and unencumbered by family - or some would say morals) gladly submit to a date (or two) with Sophia Loren. She is a beautiful woman (and reportedly she is politically right of center - which is always a plus…). What hormonally normal man (who hasn’t taken a religious vow of some sort) wouldn’t?

And finally… It seems Maxim Magazine has come out with their list of the top 100 best looking women. Topping the list - Lindsay Lohan. (If you want to just peruse the list itself here it is.) Not appearing on the list - the dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt (frankly neither does Sophia Loren).

To this your Maximum Leader can safely declare that whoever it is at Maxim that thinks up this list is obviously smoking crack or something… Whoever thinks up this list should also be glad that the Mike World Order (MWO) is not upon us. For if it were… That man (or woman, or group) would be dragged out and shot.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader isn’t sure why the dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt isn’t the celebrity spokesperson for more stuff. Hanes reports in their earnings filing with the SEC that the All-over Comfort Bra is selling well. It wouldn’t be a stretch (heh) to say that Hanes’ campaign featuring the dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt is boosting (heh) the bottom line of the company.

If only more companies would wake up and smell the coffee… Jennifer Love Hewitt is dreamy, and good at selling stuff.

Carry on.