Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader isn’t sure if Gary has gone and ruined his day. It is possible he has…

To wit:

Eieeee!

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader had planned on using this weekend to catch up on new episodes of Battlestar Galactica. For one reason or another, your Maximum Leader finds himself turning in early on Friday nights. Since he has a DVR/Tivo device - BSG gets religiously recorded and stored for that day when he can watch and contemplate the episode.

As you might have been able to tell by the past tense of the opening line, your Maximum Leader’s plan will not come to pass. You see, your Maximum Leader’s DVR died at some point this week. The cable guy was here and had to install a new one… The data off the old one was not recoverable.

So, bascially… Your Maximum Leader is now 6 episodes behind in BSG and unlikely to catch up until everything is out on DVD.

Damn. Damn. Damn.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader can’t recall if he ever blogged this before. He doesn’t think he has, but is too lazy to check.

He has had General Public’s “Tenderness” going through his head over and over recently. He doesn’t own the song, but he would if it were on iTunes…

So… Here is the video for your listening (if not viewing) edification:

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader feels badly that he has not written a better review of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (hereafter IJ&TKOTCS). Our friend Eric was kind enough to point this out in a comment to an earlier post. So here is an attempt to provide you with more of his thoughts on IJ&TKOTCS.

Your Maximum Leader, in his youth, spent many a rainy Saturday watching old movies WDCA Channel 20 out of Washington DC. These movies were, predominately, from the 30’s, 40’s and 50’s. They were mostly black and white and more often than not they were one of three genres. Horror, Science Fiction and “adventure.” These movies were the great “B” films of the age. They were matinee fare for his grandparents and parents. They were lazy TV for him.

These films were great, if you were about 11 years old. The dialogue was right on the 11 year old level. The stories were simple. The action was engaging. The women were vixens. It was all mightly good.

Of course, when your Maximum Leader watches these films now, he cringes. The dialogue is forced and campy. The jokes were stale in 1930. The “special effects” weren’t that special (although he does note that we’ve come a long way in that department). Thankfully… The women are still vixens.

So… Back to IJ&TKOTCS…

IJ&TKOTCS would fit perfectly into the mould of a 1954 Saturday matinee, except it would be in color. Frankly, as he said in his earlier post, years from now if an 11 year old is watching WDCA on a Saturday morning - he might see IJ&TKOTCS and be most pleased. (In fact your Maximum Leader’s 11 year old nephew thought IJ&TKOTCS was great.)

Your Maximum Leader grew very tired of all of the “old” jokes and cracks in IJ&TKOTCS. One couldn’t go through a few minutes without someone commenting on how old Indy was or Indy commenting on how old he was. It got tiresome. While the general quality of the script didn’t decend to the level of Star Wars II: The Attack of the Clones (perhaps the nadir of the Star Wars movies in terms of script), one could see the strong hand of Lucas in every word written. Your Maximum Leader has been told that George Lucas went to college (okay… film school), but if he were to go on just the body of work he’s produced since 1988 he would conclude that Lucas has in fact regressed to being 11 years old.

As for the plot… IJ&TKOTCS can be summarized by Indy meets the X-files and Close Encounters of the Third Kind. Woo-hoo there are space aliens with crystaline skeletons (the skulls of which appear to be filled with mulitcolored, glowing saran wrap)! There are nasty Commies! It should be noted that the leader of the Commies carries a sword around with her. Way not to stand out there. Wearing a rapier with your socialist laborer’s jumpsuit in 1957. You know, your Maximum Leader thought wearing rapiers on the hip went out of style around 1657. He supposes there must have been advantages to being a communist in the 1950’s. Not only could you disavow Stalin, vacation in Cuba (after Castro), crush eastern europe at a whim, but you could also wear rapiers with impunity.

Does your Maximum Leader really need to go on here? Not really, but he will make a few more points… Only a complete, total, drooling idiot wouldn’t have picked up that “Mutt” Williams was Indy’s love-child with Marion. When Indy tells Mutt (before he knows that Mutt is in fact his son) that it is okay that Mutt not go to college but should do what makes him happy any thinking person would know that this is just setting up the whole “I don’t care what I said to you before - you’re going to college young man.” speech for a later scene. (And a really thinking person would know that the later scene would be punctuated by some crisis - oh… like sinking in quicksand.)

Your Maximum Leader was greatly saddened by the pathetic peripheral role into which Marion Ravenwood (Williams) was relegated. She essentially is a driver for a big chase scene. Other than that there isn’t much of a role for her. She hardly speaks. She is full of great potential - especially considering how great a character she had in the first film. But that potential is unrealized. Your Maximum Leader will again attribute this to the hand of Lucas. Is your Maximum Leader the only one who thinks that all women in Lucas roles are characatures of women in other movies?

All in all, your Maximum Leader went into IJ&TKOTCS thinking it was really going to be much worse than it actually was. Which is saying something. If the particular showing he caught had cost any more than the $6.50 it did he would have felt badly ripped off…

Well… There you have it… A longer review of IJ&TKOTCS.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader found a short moment last night to just do some random searching of the interwebs for interesting stories. Well… He found one.

As you might know, your Maximum Leader is a dedicated Wagnerian. He is a great fan of Wagner’s Operas. One of his goals in life is to see The Ring at Bayreuth. (You can even find a link to the Bayreuth festival over on the right side nav bar.)

Well… The Wagner Foundation and the Festival are in the middle of some turmoil right now. Wolfgang Wagner (Richard’s grandson) is going to retire as head of the Foundation and Festival. And there is a catfight to succeed him.

To wit from Reuters:

The curtain may be rising on the final act of an epic leadership battle at Germany’s Wagner Festival after family patriarch Wolfgang Wagner said he was ready to go if his two daughters took over jointly.

In what media have called the “war of the cousins,” three great-grand-daughters of Richard Wagner have fought for years for the right to succeed Wolfgang Wagner, his grandson who, at 88, has led the opera festival since 1951.

Wolfgang Wagner indicated to sponsors last week that he was willing to step down if his daughter from a first marriage, Eva Wagner-Pasquier, 63, and her much younger half-sister Katharina, 29, took the reins together.

The two rivals, who media say had not talked to each other in years, are to submit a proposal to the Richard Wagner Foundation in the next few weeks on how they intend to lead one of the world’s top opera festivals.

Katharina said they had grown closer since last year’s death of Wolfgang’s second wife Gudrun, Katharina’s mother.

“We have realized we get on well and we actually don’t think that differently,” she told the Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung newspaper this week.

“There is some sisterly affinity.”

In 2001, the foundation chose Eva, a theatre manager, as Wolfgang’s successor, but he refused to step down, insisting his contract was for life.

Foundation members will meet again on April 29, when they are likely to discuss the half-sisters’ proposal.

Richard Wagner himself inaugurated the purpose-built opera house at Bayreuth in southeast Germany in 1876 after searching in vain for a venue big enough to stage epic operas such as his four-part Ring cycle.

Devotees of his works have famously included Hitler. Demand for the annual festival is so high that fans can wait up to 10 years for a ticket.

“BLACKMAIL”

Whether family tensions will wane under an Eva-Katharina duo remains to be seen, as the half-sisters’ cousin Nike, 62, also aspires to run the festival.

Nike, who runs an arts festival in the city of Weimar and is the daughter of Wolfgang’s brother Wieland, said she and Eva had already handed in a proposal to lead the festival together, and that she would be disappointed if her cousin switched sides.

“Wolfgang Wagner is blackmailing the foundation: Only if his own blood gets the ok he will think about resigning,” she told the Berliner Morgenpost daily.

Katharina Wagner, a statuesque blonde, had her directing debut at the Wagner festival last year and received mixed reviews for “Die Meistersinger von Nuernberg.” Some critics say she is too young and inexperienced to lead the festival.

Nike called her work “childishly harmless, popular and tabloidy” in a radio interview this week, saying she did not know how Katharina would work with Eva, who was a “serious person.”

She ruled out the idea of all three women heading the festival together, saying it would lead to “endless disputes.”

Of course, in this whole piece the words “Katharina Wagner, a statuesque blonde,” did jump off the page. Your Maximum Leader, being a hormonally normal man - in addition to a Wagnerian, had to do ye olde google image search to see just how statuesque.

The answer… This statuesque:

Clicky the pic-y to embiggen…

For a slightly different take on the story, check out the Sydney Morning Herald.

Let your Maximum Leader express his strong and vocal support for whatever Katharina wants to do. Frankly, your Maximum Leader will give Katharina this advice: take whatever power-sharing agreement you get now and then start to work behind the scenes to force out the half-sister and cousin. They are old anyway… You have time on your side Katharina. If you need a copy of Machiavelli to borrow (which your Maximum Leader seriously doubts she does), call - that can be arranged.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader seems to be content to type away here without really having his writing mean anything. So to take a page from the Ye Olde Playbook D’Ellison… Here are some tunes that were just playing on your Maximum Leader’s iPod. For those of you who care, these are the last songs play from amongst the “Top Rated” songs on your Maximum Leader’s iPod. This give the little machine about 2000 songs to choose from…

1) You better you bet - The Who
2) So Lonely - The Police (which is an interesting random selection since Mrs Villain and the children are away right now)
3) God’s gonna cut you down - Johnny Cash
4) Crocodile Rock - Elton John
5) Tender is the Night - Jackson Browne (Is your Maximum Leader the only one who doesn’t hold Jackson smacking around Darryl Hannah against him? She strikes me as an annoying one who might need a smack.)
6) In the Ghetto (Alternate Take) - THE KING
7) Eye in the sky - The Alan Parsons Project (Which, your Maximum Leader is told is also the group putting a giant “laser” on the moon.)
8 ) Hip Hop Hooray! - Naughty by Nature
9) Cheatin’ - Gin Blossoms
10) You really got me - The Kinks
11) Big ole goofy world - John Prine
12) Within you without you - The Beatles
13) Pretty fly (for a white guy) - Offspring
14) Con ti partiro - Andrea Bocelli performing
15) More - The Sundays
16) Church - Lyle Lovett (Your Maximum Leader had a minister friend once who thought this song was funny, because he’d never give a long sermon if there was food on the line - which there always seemed to be after a baptist service in the summer in the south.)
17) Elvis is Everywhere - Mojo Nixon
18) New Dawn Coming - Cowboy Junkies
19) What’s the matter here - 10,000 Maniacs
20) Funky cold medina - Tone Loc
21) Rodeo - Aaron Copeland
22) Common disaster - Cowboy Junkies
23) St. Robinson in his cadillac dream - Counting Crows
24) Are you gonna go my way - Lenny Kravitz (the unplugged version)
25) Extraordinary Machine - Fiona Apple (Damn, your Maximum Leader loves this song. He’s not heard it for a while, and he’ll probably listen to it four or five times over the next few days.)

So there you have it. The last 25 songs played off your Maximum Leader’s iPod.

Interesting huh?

No not really…

Your Maximum Leader wishes “Chick Habit” by April March had played. If only so Dead Sexy Sadie could read the song name and realize that her (and your) Maximum Leader rented the Grindhouse movies and watched them both last night. He promptly went to iTunes and bought the “Death Proof” soundtrack. He also went ahead and bought “Laisse Tomber Les Filles” by April March as well. (NB to The Big Hominid: It would be interesting to know if the lyrics to “Chick Habit” and “Laisse Tomber Les Filles” are even close. Your Maximum Leader’s pathetic-couldn’t-order-him-a-glass-of-wine-in-a-cafe French skilz tell him that they aren’t, but it would be interesting to know what the French says. Perhaps not interesting enough to have him Google the lyrics…)

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is returned from a week in Vegas. Ah… Las Vegas… That city can bring out the worst in a person. Luckily, it did not bring out the worst in your Maximum Leader. He came home only about $50 down and with fun memories of seeing Penn & Teller and Barry Manilow. (Excursus: If you are a personal friend of your Maximum Leader and remember seeing a Penn & Teller show with him at the National Theater in DC at some point between 1990 and 1995 please let him know. He is sure that he saw the show with someone, but now can’t remember who…)

Anyhoo…

Your Maximum Leader is now a week behind at everything. That means he might need a day or two to catch up. This process is made worse by the fact that (once again) the Wee Villain is rife with pestilence. Over the past six weeks the Wee Villain has been afflicted with (in order): severe cold/border-line flu, strep throat, ear infection, full-blown flu, and now conjuctivitis. This is driving your Maximum Leader and Mrs Villain nuts.

Your Maximum Leader can’t commit to much blogging over the next few days, but he’ll give it the ole college try…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader realizes that the Crack Young Staff at the Hatemongers Quarterly may not be posting too often; but when they do it brings a smile to his face.

To wit: The Crack Young Staff dishes out television show character endorsements in their latest. Most are not a surprise. There was one surprise… Mr. Magoo. Your Maximum Leader would have never guessed as to his political leanings.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is living out a little dream of his. In this little dream he gets the bedroom he would have wanted as a little boy. Only the bedroom isn’t his own; and the little boy in question is not your Maximum Leader but is, in fact, the Wee Villain.

The Wee Villain (aged 3) has had his bedroom repainted and newly decorated. He has white walls. The trim is black. And the walls are festooned with images of Batman. The curtains are Batman curtains. The comforter, sheets, and pillow cases are all Batman. Over the summer it is possible that an artistically inclinded friend of ours will come over and will paint a Gotham City skyline on one wall of the room.

It is pretty damned cool actually.

If your Maximum Leader thought for a moment that he could get away with similar decor in the master bedroom; he’d give it a shot.

Alas, your Maximum Leader knows Mrs Villain all too well…

So, recently your Maximum Leader was digging through some old VHS tapes looking for some episodes of the Adam West Batman TV series that he recorded a long time ago. This search was prompted by his desire to get the Wee Villain some other Batman stuff to watch on the TV (and to try and retire the Scooby Doo meets Batman DVD that has long been a staple of his viewing around the house.) He found one tape after much searching. It had four episodes on it. All episodes with Batman foiling the plans of Catwoman. In one set of episodes Catwoman was Julie Newmar. In the second set Catwoman was Eartha Kitt. Your Maximum Leader had to explain this change of appearance to the Villainettes - who also decided to watch the shows with the Wee Villain.

Seeing Julie Newmar and Eartha Kitt got your Maximum Leader to thinking… Which Catwoman is most alluring. Your Maximum Leader could think of four actresses to start in the role. The aforementioned Newmar and Kitt. Then Michelle Pfieffer in Batman Returns and Halle Berry in Catwoman. Your Maximum Leader must admit that he’s never seen Catwoman. So as much as he thinks that Halle Berry is one of the most physically attractive women ever (and a good actress all in all) he will supply her as a voting choice, but will not himself vote for her.

Excursus: Your Maximum Leader remembered one more Catwoman - Lee Meriweather. She was Catwoman in the 1966 Adam West Batman movie. He made up the poll before he remembered her - and he is too lazy to change the poll… Even though the poll is free…

Well… To help jog your memories on who is who…

Julie Newmar:

Eartha Kitt:

Michelle Pfieffer:

Halle Berry:

There is your review. Now you vote.

You really ought to get used to this type of voting. You know… Polls that make you feel good but don’t really mean anything. They will be a hallmark of the Mike World Order…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader read that J.K. Rowling has just outed Albus Dumbledore. Yes, you read that right. The Hogwarts Headmaster is gay.

Frankly, this doesn’t change the fact that your Maximum Leader tremendously enjoyed the whole Harry Potter series. Indeed, he doesn’t really care. It doesn’t change the arch of the story for him. Your Maximum Leader does wonder if this revelation will affect other’s view of the story.

Of course, your Maximum Leader supposes that this announcement will cause a flurry of revisionism concerning how people will interpret what is (or is not) in the story.

Ah well…

Carry on.

I’m sorry for the dearth of posting.

I’ve been busy.

So busy, in fact, that I have totally not been paying attention to entertainment news. For instance, I have no idea who won the Emmy for best supporting actress in a comedy.

I guess I can safely assume it was not “she of the enormous forehead,” or the Maximum Leader would have let us know.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader saw this today. It made him laugh.

In The Know: Candidates Compete For Vital Idgit Vote

Very important block of voters… The Idgits…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is still getting over his disappointment. He isn’t sure why he didn’t expect to be disappointed, afterall all signs pointed towards the prospect of little or no gratification. But he was nonetheless.

Of course, he is speaking about SciFi channel’s “Flash Gordon” which he saw last Friday night…

It was supposed to be a “dramedy.” Alas, it was lacking in drama and comedy. The acting was neither campy nor comedic. The actors played it straight. It was like they were trying to be dramatic and serious, only without having the skills required to do so. The whole show was flat. Your Maximum Leader was contemplating a more lengthy review, but honestly remembering the salient points of the story just bore him too much. The project doesn’t seem to have a focus. Given the subject matter and previous treatments of the characters, the director/producers should have either chosen to go with a “serious science fiction/action” theme, or go for “camp.” Apparently they tried for neither.

Of course, your Maximum Leader was so disappointed with the treatment that he decided to go out and get the definative “Flash Gordon” of his life. Yes… The 1980 movie (with soundtrack by Queen). Your Maximum Leader had some money left on a Best Buy gift card (that he won at some charity event). The DVD was on sale too boot. So when all was said and done the “Flash Gordon - Saviour of the Universe Edition” only put him out $4.91 with tax. No bad.

Your Maximum Leader remembers seeing the film in the theatres in 1980. He remembers that he liked it more than Star Trek: The Motion Picture, but not as much as Star Wars. Over time, “Flash Gordon” has held up in his esteem — and perhaps grown in esteeem, and “Star Wars” has diminished. “Flash Gordon” is just over the top. It has glitz. It has camp. It has psychedelic colors. It has a rockin’ score. It has Ornella Muti in skimpy outfits. It has Max Von Sydow as the Emperor Ming (NB to Mrs P and Sir Basil: your Maximum Leader is keeping the goatee a little bit long in hopes of making himself look more “merciless.”) And, of course, Brian Blessed with wings.

Sadly, there is no commentary track on the “Flash Gordon” DVD. Please know that this is a shocking admission from your Maximum Leader. On most DVDs he buys, your Maximum Leader isn’t interested in the commentary tracks. In the majority of cases they are boring and don’t add in any way to his enjoyment of the film. (Excursus: There are exceptions to this of course. Noteworthy commentaries are found on: The English Patient, Conan the Barbarian, Starship Troopers — if only for the revelation that director Paul Verhoven never read the book, and Lawrence of Arabia. The commentary by Bruce Campbell on the “Boomstick Edition” of “Army of Darkness” awaits a visit from Smallholder — so we can watch it together with some brews.) But your Maximum Leader thinks that this move lends itself to a witty commentary track. There were two bonus features on the DVD that were quite entertaining. The first is from Lorenzo Sempel - the screenwriter for the movie. In it he admits that he wrote the story quickly, and that it went from writing to screen with no editing or reivision by others. (A move that he admits has more disadvantages than benefits.) Semple also shares some wonderful anecdotes about working with Dino De Laurentiis and the set designer Danilo Donati. Apparently De Laurentiis had the script translated into Italian for him by a woman who barely spoke English; and Donati designed all the sets without ever reading the script (hence why the lush forests of Arborea on Mongo are actually dense swamps). That was good stuff. The other bonus feature was a short interview with comic book author Alex Ross. Now… Your Maximum Leader didn’t know Ross from Adam, but apparently he is a big-wig guy in the world of comics. He waxed poetic about the film. It was sort of inspiring actually.

So, after the disappointing SciFi show, the 1980 film was a bit uplifting.

Anyhoo… Your Maximum Leader hopes to write some decent posts this week. He is a bachelor for the week (as Mrs Villain, the Villainettes, and the Wee Villain are gone to the beach). So, that might crimp his writing style a little…

Stay tuned…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader must not watch as much tee vee on SciFi channel as he thinks. He has watched Battlestar Galactica, and will occasionally catch something else. But other than the one show, he supposes he doesn’t watch SciFi all that much.

Well imagine his surprise when he learned today, just a few short moments ago, that SciFi is launching a new series on Friday.

The series:

Flash Gordon.

It is supposedly a “dramedy.”

Your Maximum Leader will withhold judgement… But he may not be pleased if they don’t have Brian Blessed with wings.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader doesn’t have the chance (ever) to scoop major news outlets or Drudge, but a friend of his called today with shocking news. John Paul Stevens is retiring from the Supreme Court, and President Bush is planning on appointing either Elvis Presley (now out of the Witness Protection Program and living in Kalamazoo, MI) or the famous “Bat Boy” to the court.

Okay… Lame attempt at a laugh. But some people aren’t laughing at the demise of the Weekly World News. Your Maximum Leader seems to remember hearing something about WWN closing down its shop later this month. (He thinks he heard it on “Marketplace” on NPR.) Well… The Washington Post is confirming the story and does a great (5 internet page) article on the WWN.

Your Maximum Leader admits he’s bought a few WWN issues. (He can be a sucker for the Elvis sightings.) But he never knew how it all got started:

It all began in Lantana, Fla., in 1979, when the National Enquirer, America’s premier tabloid, bought new color presses to replace its old black-and-white presses. The Enquirer’s owner, a former CIA agent named Generoso Pope, couldn’t bear to leave the old presses idle, so he founded Weekly World News as a sort of poor man’s Enquirer, running celebrity gossip and UFO sightings that didn’t quite meet the Enquirer’s high standards.

That is a choice paragraph. Enquirer’s high standards… Heh. Double heh even…

Read the piece. It is a great bit on a soon to be passing piece of Americana. Frankly, your Maximum Leader’s favourite Weekly World News bit is the scene from Men in Black where Tommy Lee Jones goes to the news stands to pick up the fact sheets and grabs a Weekly World News. That was a classic piece of cinema there.

Adieu Weekly World News. Your Maximum Leader doffs his bejeweled floppy cap in your direction for years of enjoyment and laughter.

Carry on.