Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is now happily returned to the Villainschloss. He is sure you were all dying to know that… Let us catch up shall we?

Well… When last we left your Maximum Leader he was rife with pestilence and feeling miserable. Well… Actually… That was June 30th. On that day your Maximum Leader crawled out of bed and posted about Bush and Winston Churchill… On July 1 he went to the beach with his family. Upon arriving at the beach he discovered two things… He still had a hacking cough that was not sexy at all, and his interwebs connectivity at the beach was quite poor.

Monday, July 2 found your Maximum Leader sitting next to the pool reading “Flashman at the Charge.” It was about 75 degrees out and the water was frigid so he never got in the pool or ocean.

Tuesday July 3 found your Maximum Leader sitting next to the pool listens to Beverly Sills recordings on iPod mourning the great singer’s passing and reading “Flashman at the Charge” and the Washington Post. He was trying to determine if Bush’s commuting of Scooter Libby’s prison term offended him or not. The determination was that it did not. Your Maximum Leader continues to believe that the Special Prosecutor overreached and brought charges against Libby because he had to convict someone of something lest he be called a failure. Skippy’s post on this matter not withstanding, your Maximum Leader believes that what Scooter Libby was convicted of was (more or less) disagreeing with Tim Russert on matters relating to a time line. You can call your Maximum Leader a conservative mouthbreather (as Skippy did indirectly - and the Smallholder did directly recently) if you like. Honestly, your Maximum Leader didn’t care if Scooter Libby went to jail or not. And frankly, George W Bush is so unpopular now that any action he took (or yet chooses to take) on Scooter Libby can’t hurt him politically. Bush is beyond these “little” things hurting him now. And, truth be told, your Maximum Leader is more than a little pissed that Bush has done such a half-assed job of using his pardon powers. If you are going to take an action that will be so politcally charged that your enemies will be demanding your head on a pike; and your friends are not going to make any attempt to give you cover - well then you might as well just commit yourself to your choice. What Bush has done here is take a half-step that does nothing but keep the wound open just deep enough to keep from closing. And since Bush has left open the possibility that a full pardon may yet be in the works… This isn’t over yet. Bush should have either done nothing and let Libby hang - or he should have just given Libby the full pardon. But Bush isn’t good at thinking these things through…

Wednesday July 4th found your Maximum Leader sitting by the pool reading “Pompeii” by Robert Harris. Then, when he learned that the local fireworks were cancelled (due to high winds), he watched the film “The Illusionist.” The film was clever and quite entertaining. About half-way through, your Maximum Leader wondered how it was all going to come together. He didn’t figure out how it all came together, and was amused by the whole premise. He also liked how the writers wove their fictional story into an interesting historical context (Vienna before WWI.) Your Maximum Leader has since been told that “The Prestige” is a better film. Perhaps in a few weeks he’ll see it. (Excurus: You know something… Christian Bale - star of “The Prestige,” “Batman Begins,” “American Psycho,” and “Empire of the Sun” is a fine actor and a very handsome man. If your Maximum Leader played for “the other team” so to speak, he might have a man-crush on Christian Bale.)

Thursday, July 5th found your Maximum Leader reading “Pompeii” by the pool (which he never entered, nor did he enter the ocean). That afternoon, he took the Villainettes and the Wee Villain to see Ratatouille. He enjoyed it very much. It is possible that he enjoyed the film more than his children did in fact. He highly commends the picture to you.

Friday, July 6th found your Maximum Leader packing for, then making, the trek back to the Villainschloss. Upon arriving at the Villainschloss, your Maximum Leader went and slept.

Saturday, July 7th found your Maximum Leader packing for, them making, the trek to the Smallholder’s farm. There he met, obviously, the Smallholder and his family. Also there, not so obviously, were the erstwhile Minister of Propaganda (a sometimes contributor to this fine site) and Polymath (a sometimes commenter to this fine site, and virtual proprietor of his own fine site). There was much drinking and roasting of pork - great bonding activities… Also on July 7th, Skippy posts a fine piece on Richard Russell. Skippy’s piece makes your Maximum Leader feel both badly about not writing a blog post for a few days and relieved that he will not unfavorably compare his own crap post to Skippy’s lucid political discourse.

Sunday, July 8th found your Maximum Leader and the Smallholder having their son’s baptized. To this blessed event, your Maximum Leader wore his new seersucker suit. (He’ll have to post photos later…) Thereafter, there was much drinking and eating of roasted pork. Sadly, your Maximum Leader had to leave the festivities too soon for his own tastes and returned to the Villainschloss again.

Today… Your Maximum Leader caught up on a whole bunch of blog reading that he didn’t do last week. He also must advise his friend Skippy that while he has never wanted to know Katie Couric carnally (unlike Skippy), he can say that she (Couric that is) is quite attractive in real life. Your Maximum Leader has met her twice (both times we were waiting in the lounge for the DC to NYC shuttle at National Airport - most recently about 3 years ago).

Well… There you have it… The full update on what your Maximum Leader has been doing… More than you likely wanted to know, but there it is anyway… Oh… By the way… This site turned four last week. Like the Big Hominid, your Maximum Leader didn’t remember until after the fact… So… Happy Birthday to me - so to speak.

If there are any of you out there still reading this… Your Maximum Leader hopes to have some pithy content in this space soon.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has very little for you now. Nothing in fact. He thinks that his own laziness, family, the weather, and Medieval 2 Total War have been consipiring to keep him from blogging. Your Maximum Leader has been lazy (at least in regards to blogging) because he’s found it more entertaining to plop down on a sofa and read a Flashman book or watch TV than blog. He’s had a lot of familial engagements to attend to as well. School ending for the Villainettes. Getting various birthday and Father’s Day celebrations under control. Planning (packing for) trips to grandparent’s house for Villainettes. When you Maximum Leader has found himself in the mood to blog… He’s be thwarted by thunderstorms. They seem to pop up at the most inopportune times for blogging. (But they do give a good excuse to just sit and read.) And, finally, your Maximum Leader has been engaged in the most engrossing game of Medieval 2 Total War. (Playing the Danes and really digging the “Norse War Cleric” units. Priests wearing chainmail, on warhorses, with big ole maces just bashing your enemies. Somehow your Maximum Leader doubts that Benedict XVI would condone such activities nowadays. But if he did, your Maximum Leader would personally try and outfit a brigade of War Clerics.)

Excursus: Did you know that on July 14th, 1789 that Louis XVI’s diary contained a one word entry? Rien. (As in “nothing of interest happened today.”) In all fairness to Louis, he was not in Paris that day and word of the storming of the Bastille might not have reached him in Versailles.

Just because your Maximum Leader hasn’t been writing doesn’t mean he hasn’t been reading. Indeed, he’s been reading many blogs. Here are some more linky-related thoughts…

There are many bloggers your Maximum Leader is just going to have to make the time to visit and meet. Many…

For example… Your Maximum Leader wants to meet Eric, perhaps go the YMCA with him and work out some, and then go and sit on his porch and sip fine Scotch Whisky.

Your Maximum Leader would also like to meet Christina and her Mom. Your Maximum Leader feels like he already knows Christina’s mom somehow. Perhaps he’s known people like her and is projecting their traits on her. But every time Christina writes about and encounter with her mom your Maximum Leader feels like he knows exactly what is going on. It is a strange knowing feeling. Regardless, your Maximum Leader would like to meet both of these fine ladies.

Your Maximum Leader would also like to meet (specifically go out dining with) Bobgirl. Fallow deer wrapped in pork. Yumma.

Your Maximum Leader has been reading Steve’s site now for a long time. And recently he’s found that Steve’s posts on growing tomatos and peppers to be completely engrossing. Your Maximum Leader isn’t sure what it is about South Florida that makes smart people with a keen sense of observation such good writers. But soemthing must. Sure your Maximum Leader knows that South Florida is filled with vapid party-goers and cubans too; but Steve seems to be coming out of an environment that has produced a number of great writers.

Did you know that a few days ago the Dictionary.com word of the day was eructation? Your Maximum Leader had never heard the word before. (Sadly, he knows most of the words of the day.) Let him say he likes the word eructation.

Oh… One more thing… Two more actually…

Patton at the Ministry of Minor Perfidy wrote a piece that was very similar to one that your Maximum Leader was thinking of. Here is Patton’s post on Brendlin v California While reading the accounts of the ruling in the Washington Post, your Maximum Leader found that the mention of Mr Brendlin’s race to be somewhat gratuitous. Having said that, your Maximum Leader was gratified by the outcome of the case. A small victory for individual rights…

Also, if you are a DC area blogger… And a war/board game geek… You might want to see about playing Axis and Allies at Casa de Buckethead on Bastille Day…

That is about it for now… If the mood alights on your Maximum Leader, he might write more…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is running short on original content. Well… He is running short of original content that he feels is worth posting. (And frankly, if you’ve been reading what passes for posting here lately that should tell you that what he’s got ain’t all that…)

So, your Maximum Leader decided that he needed to showcase some links to other bloggers that he’s enjoyed reading lately.

Today’s HMQ post made your Maximum Leader laugh quite hard. He’s tried to think up his own pithy t-shirt sayings for young female co-eds. All he could come up with was: (MORALLY) LIBERAL. Not all that good, surely not as good as those of the HMQ’s Crack Young Staff. But your Maximum Leader feels his own self-esteem improving because he tried… And as we all know, just trying is all that matters.

Your Maximum Leader thought that Phin’s post about Bear Grylls at Agent Bedhead’s site was a hoot as well. Although your Maximum Leader likes to think that Bear could easily triumph in Episode 4 wherein Bear insults a Texan. He doesn’t think that Bear would fare well in Episode 5 in Compton. Your Maximum Leader thinks it is mostly the fact that the Bloods would just outnumber Bear. He could take one or two in a fight… But a whole gang… Prolly not… And then the horror of Episode 6… It is unspeakable…

Did you read Buckethead’s post about battleships and air power? Excellent work. All in all your Maximum Leader completely agrees. But, your Maximum Leader does believe that there is a limited utility for a fairly large gun/missile ship/sub in our naval arsenal. Although he doubts that any ship we come up with will be as aesthetically pleasing as an Iowa Class battleship. Also… Show Buckethead a little B-day love and send him money for his Jesus phone.

Is it possible to improve on bloggy perfection? Well… It seems as though Mrs P has figured out a way. Patum Peperium is one of your Maximum Leader’s favourite blogs, and now with more contributors it is even more better (as kids with a poor grasp of grammar would say).

And finally… If you are all for grown up reading (with some NSFW photos and language that the FCC now says is more or less okay if it is off the cuff and live) you should check out Skippy on Paris Hilton’s jail term (your Maximum Leader shocked Mrs Villain by agreeing with Skippy’s assessment that Paris is being treated more harshly than others in her situation and that is bad). You might also check out Skippy’s take on President Bush’s statement about Kossovar independence. (That link is work safe.) Your Maximum Leader has to say he agrees with Skippy on that too… Just to show your Maximum Leader isn’t always in agreement with Skippy… Your Maximum Leader doesn’t think Lindsay Lohan is at all attractive in any way… So there…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader took yesterday off from blogging. As it was Richard Wagner’s birthday he broke out his Brigit Nilssen recordings of Die Walkure and enjoyed a little bit of the Ho-ya-ta-ho on the iPod.

Your Maximum Leader has noticed, as he’s sure many of you have as well, two important changes in the sphere o’blog in the past few days… The first is that the very lovely Annika of Annika’s Journal has retired her blogging keyboard in favor of studying for the California Bar. Your Maximum Leader can understand that a young woman would want to put her life and career before the needs of her readers. Afterall… We all want Annika to be a successful lawyer in the Golden State, fighting to put sense back into our crazy legal system. Who knows, Annika might wind up as a judge some day (and the 9th Circuit could use a little dose of Annika)… Of course, in the Mike World Order, Annika will be Commissioner of Baseball.

Annika, fare thee well in your studies. Your Maximum Leader wishes you the best (even if you are leaving him high and dry from the perspective of blogging). He looks forward to seeing your occasional posts over on Six Meat Buffet.

The second bit of news from the world o’blogs is over at our friends the Peperium’s. One day you go to bed after reading about the exploits of Mrs. P… The next day you wake up and find that Patum Peperium is a group blog! A group blog with a line up that is a veritable “murderers row” of your Maximum Leader’s favorite bloggers (and commenters). Let’s make sure he gets this right… Blogging now at Patum Peperium are: Mrs. P., Mr. P., Sir Basil Seal, Fr. M., Old Dominion Tory, Christine, and “Crackie.”

Your Maximum Leader might guess that “Crackie” might also be known as “Chip,” but your Maximum Leader could be wrong…

Big news, loyal readers. Very big news…

Of course, here at Naked Villainy, it is pretty much your Maximum Leader and Smallholder just plodding along… A pseudo-benevolent autocrat and his manure besmattered farmer friend. What a combo.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader knew early on that he wanted a tag line generator on his blog… He first saw one over on Anna’s site and he wanted some himself. (Ahhh… Has your Maximum Leader ever admitted that his first blog crush was Anna? It was…)

Anyhoo… Sortly after establishing the blog… Your Maximum Leader got a random tag line generator on his blog. He still has it. It is up on the upper right side if you’ve never noticed it before…

Today he saw displayed a tag line he’d forgotten he’d added to the list. It made him smile… “Naked Villainy… Making you yearn for a firm boot on your neck daily.”

Your Maximum Leader is still smiling about that.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is in something of a funk. No particular reason, but he just can’t seem to motivate himself to actually type anything. He has seated himself in front of his computer and thought about a post… But he just can’t seem to will himself to type. (Frankly, he hasn’t been playing computer games of any sorts.) Indeed, he finds himself strangely drawn to “Scrubs” re-runs. If he times it right, he can watch 90 minutes of “Scrubs” every night. The zany antics of Zach Braff and his cohorts seem to make your Maximum Leader feel a little better.

Anyhoo…

Your Maximum Leader has been reading blogs, although not contributing to his blog. And one of the most entertaining posts he’s read recently was Buckethead’s post on Lightsabre toting Jesuits… It is a great post. Buckethead begins:

Why, indeed, are stormtroopers not all the same height, given that they are clones? As I watched, with half an eye, the great saga that is Star Wars, some questions popped into my head that had never popped before.

Imagine that Adolf Hitler conquered the world. He is now known as Der Fuhrer, of course, and rules with an iron hand and generally goes around scaring the bejesus out of people. Imagine that in a desert region, far from the bright centers of the Nazi world – maybe in Indiana – there is a young boy with the last name Hitler. He becomes involved with the resistance, and learns to fly, and in a climactic confrontation with Der Fuhrer at a oil shale strip mine in Alberta learns that Der Fuhrer is in fact his father. Should he be surprised? Would no one have ever commented on the puzzling similarity of last names?

The post gets better from there; ending with lightsabre toting Jesuits…

And by the way… Some Stormtroopers are taller than others because, while clones, they over time develop their own personalities. And some of them want to “stand out.” So they put lifts in their boots.

Your Maximum Leader should also mention that if one starts to think at all critically about any of the Star Wars movies, they fall apart very quickly. Faster in fact than does Star Trek, in all its various forms… The deconstruction of Star Trek takes a bit more time, as male viewers are constantly distracted by the large shapely breasts of one of the female leads… Indeed, your Maximum Leader found himself watching nearly all of a rerun of “Enterprise” on SciFi last night for the sole purpose of seeing Sub-commander T’Pol do whatever Sub-commander T’Pol does…

Well, if he can summon up the blood to do so, your Maximum Leader may try to post again soon.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is just playing around with his new Wordpress installation. Sexy Sadie and Phin are the greatest for doing all the work they have behind the scenes to keep making Naked Villainy work. Your Maximum Leader really appreciates everything they are doing to help him. He knows it has been a longer and more difficult process than either anticipated. In part the difficulty has been caused by your Maximum Leader sticking with his existing hosting company. He must extend some special thanks to Sadie. She did so much work on the site. Some of it quite frustrating. (At one point your Maximum Leader wondered if she would ever want to speak to him again…) Many thanks Sadie. I appreciate your help very much.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader will make a confession. In front of you all he will admit that he hasn’t read his loyal minion Bill’s web site in about a week. He could make all sorts of excuses for this, but there aren’t any really. Normally he reads the blogs of all his “Loyal Minions” daily… Sorry Bill…

That apology said, your Maximum Leader did want to nitpick on something Bill wrote just recently. Bill wrote a thoughtful and lengthly exposition on suicide recently. There is a lot there to comment upon. Especially since your Maximum Leader disagrees with a number of Bill’s conclusions. But your Maximum Leader will focus on one part of Bill’s essay in this post.

Bill writes:

The logic is “Thou shalt not kill” and if one kills oneself, it is sinful. But this is a very absolute proscription. It requires that a person in agony beyond any normal comprehension [it does exist, I’ve been there, bk] with no hope of alleviation must continue to suffer until they die without outside intervention. To take this position and blame God for it is to make God a partner to torture. This is totally incompatible with a benevolent God. However, if God cannot or will not violate the laws of nature to relieve this suffering which must grate against the omnibenevolent side of His nature, then He becomes by default a party to torture. In such a conflict, brought on by the very nature of the omnipotent God, the choice to end one’s life voluntarily seems hardly to be a sin, but rather the resolution of a difficult problem. By my reasoning, suicide under such circumstances is not a sin.

Your Maximum Leader will disagree with this particular passage - but perhaps not for the reason one mght think.

Why do we believe in an omnibenevolent God? Bill’s point above only holds true if one accepts that God is omnibenevolent. Why do we suppose that He is?

Excursus: It is funny that your Maximum Leader should focus on this point. He has an ongoing discussion with a particularly devout friend of his that always boils down to this point. If that friend is reading this (which is doubtful) take heed… All the stuff that follows is old-hat to you.

Your Maximum Leader for many years was caught up in the problem of evil. He looked at, accepted, then rejected, many answers to the problem of theodicy. Eventually he came to think that evil exists because God Himself allows it to exist. There is suffering, intractable pain, disasters, and all other ills because God allows them to exist.

One can try to construct the various arguments to try and preserve the concept of an omnibenevolent God; but at some point - as Bill points out - you always make God complicit in some “unsavory” proposistions. Most devout people have issues with making God complicit in suffering. But where do we stand if we accept God’s acceptance of evil and suffering?

Sometime it may be much easier to accept that God is beyond our poor human ability to define. Our attempts to define Him are nothing but limitations on God’s nature, limitations we impose on Him in an attempt to understand Him. But God is ultimately beyond our understanding. His purpose in setting about creating everything is beyond our understanding. Perhaps the existance of evil and suffering is also beyond our understanding.

To get this back to Bill’s points on suicide… As harsh as it is to say, perhaps God has a purpose to our suffering. A purpose which is not for us to understand.

Just something to think on.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has been following the on-going postings about the Harper v Poway Unified School District case on the Volokh Conspiracy for a few days now.

Your Maximum Leader was going to blog a little on his opinions on the matters at hand. But then realized that most of what he would say had already been said (with much greater authority and expertise) by Eugene Volokh. Here is a page with all the related posts together on one page.

Allow your Maximum Leader to go on record and say that of the many dangerous situations we as Americans find ourselves concerning our liberties; the tiny encroachments of our freedom of speech are among the most dangerous. When the First Amendment ceases to be neutral we all have much to fear.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is under all sorts of pressure right now. The Wee Villain is not well. He has a nasty illness and we’ve now discovered that he is likely allergic to the medicine he’s been given. Not lots of fun. As you can imagine, your Maximum Leader has little time to blog today.

But before he goes…

Let him commend to you this post over at Irish Elk. Your Maximum Leader agrees with the sentiment. Sometimes a good fight is what you need in hockey to show that you can’t be pushed around. It is part of the game and should be. Your Maximum Leader happens to like the old “Canadian” style game a little better than the “International” game. Plus, your Maximum Leader would like to see more clips of Don Cherry narrating fights saying “Look here. Two guys mixing it up a little. Nothing wrong with that.”

Did you see the squid gigante that those fishermen caught the other day? Did ya? It is cool. Here is a linky link.

Also… Have you been following the breakdown of the Italian government? Your Maximum Leader has. You know, he ought to try and learn italian so that he can read the papers over there and find out more about what is going on. Until then, he’ll have to settle for the news wires. Frankly, your Maximum Leader hopes for the most unlikely outcome - which is new elections. It is more likely that Romano Prodi will form a new coalition government with mostly left-center parties. He might jettison some of his hard-left supports and tryand woo some right-center groups to join the coalition.

But elections would be cooler…

Your Maximum Leader will report, sadly, that the dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt did not accept your Maximum Leader’s invitation to dinner yesterday to celebrate her birthday. It is probably just as well since the Wee Villain wasn’t up to snuff… But she was kind enough to do an interview with CNN in which she said she’d like to be a dork… Jennifer, Love, be sure your Maximum Leader likes you just the way you are.

And finally… One last call for bloggers/people in the greater DC area who might want to see the play Richard III with your Maximum Leader… Contact your Maximum Leader if you’re interested…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is pleased to state that he is not dead yet. Although, if the Wee Villain (aged 2) wants to watch Cars one more time; your Maximum Leader might just expire.

Your Maximum Leader was quite busy towards the end of last week. Then on Friday he took an unexpected trip with family (a fun trip at that) out to the beach for the weekend. All these things conspired to mean that he did not post.

But then again you knew that… At least you knew if if you had been checking in to see what new and exciting posts had been… um… posted by your Maximum Leader.

Anyhooo…

There were many things that your Maximum Leader wanted to post about during the past few days. Some items he’ll blog about over the next few days, and others will just be consigned to the ash-heap of unblogged yet interesting ideas.

For instance, your Maximum Leader wanted to blog about the Antony/Cleopatra coin. But Robbo got to the Burton/Taylor line first.

Interestingly enough, like Robbo, your Maximum Leader just had a lengthy discussion with both Villainettes and Mrs Villain about Cleopatra, Antony, and Julius and Octavian Ceasar. On our little road trip the eldest Villainette chose to bring a book about Cleopatra to read on the ride. She wound up reading the book aloud. Periodically, Mrs Villain would interrupt Villainette #1’s narrative to ask a question about how the book differed from what we have been seeing on the HBO series Rome. Eventually, your Maximum Leader was obliged to give a quick run-down of Roman history from the triumvarite of Crassus, Ceasar, and Pompey down to Octavian becoming the Princeps and the earliest days of the Empire. (There was also the exposition of Cleopatra, the Ptolemeys, Alexander the Great and if Egyptians are “black” africans.)

Mrs. Villain was disappointed, but not surprised, that the HBO series would play so fast and loose with history. Afterall, this particular patch of history lends itself to dramatisation. Your Maximum Leader, during the first season of Rome, had the same issue. But, eventually he just decided to go along with the story - inaccuracies and all - because the writing and acting was pretty good.

Indeed, if your Maximum Leader has one major complaint about the series it is that they seem to be in a rush to tell the story. Good lord, they covered so much ground last season it shouldn’t surprise him that they are moving so fast now. Last season went from Ceasar in Gaul, to Ceasar in Egypt, to Ceasar in Rome, to Ceasar expiring on the Senate floor. This season they will likely get all the way to Antony and Cleopatra’s death and Octavian becoming Augustus. Your Maximum Leader isn’t sure, but he doesn’t think there will be a third season of Rome. If there were, they’d have to start getting some new characters introduced and prepar for the existing ones to get old real soon.

But your Maximum Leader digresses…

He only wanted you all to know he’d not died… More to come later…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has been mistreating you. By mistreating you he means “not posting regularly.” He would say he is sorry. But he feels that on this day, of all days - Valentine’s Day, love really doesn’t mean having to say you’re sorry. In fact, if you had been paying close attention, you would have realized that you could have read your Maximum Leader over on The Hatemonger’s Quarterly.

Did you catch that? Your Maximum Leader was guest “weblogging” at HMQ for the past few weekdays. Did you miss his posts? He wrote a few.

Here is one on fashion.

Here is one on the impeding ruin of American sports.

Here is a retraction of a previous post on Fidel Castro.

Here is a post with a distinct lack of focus as it hits on astronauts and the Republican Senators “foiling” Iraq debate.

Here is your Maximum Leader’s take on the Grammy awards.

And finally here are some thoughts on Valentine’s Day.

See! That is a lot of bloggy goodness there.

Pity you missed it…

Your Maximum Leader will also go on record, yet again, and say that guesting for the Crack Young Staff is good fun. He hopes to be able to do it again.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is hoping he isn’t going to have to get the boyz together for an improptu rescue mission…

” Of what is my Maximum Leader speaking?” you are likely asking yourself. Well, if you were keeping tabs on Robbo; you would know that the resident “bad boy” of the Llamabutchers is being hauled in front of his local “Cardinal Fang” and being made to talk.

If things go badly Robbo can call his Maximum Leader for a rescue mission. Your Maximum Leader and the Smallholder will swoop down on the unsuspecting Episcopalians with guns a-blazing (in the case of your Maximum Leader) or brandishing a very pointy pitchfork (in the case of the Smallholder) and save him from the clutches of those vestry members who will poke him with the comfy pillows or force him to answer the dreaded question. Cake or death?

Robbo… Your Maximum Leader is here if you need him.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader finds himself called out and put in his place by the delightful Mrs P.

Apparently, in a comment on Wing Commander Seal’s site your Maximum Leader proverbially “stepped in it.” This is what happens when you open up about things and are honest in blogging… To excerpt Mrs P:

The Maximum Leader said…

I am glad to see that you will not be ordering oysters at your club (although I’m sure that if your club offered oysters they would be fine). I find that in areas more than a 4 hours drive by car/truck from a major body of salty/brackish water is not the type of region in which one wants to order shellfish. I will go further and say that in areas more than 4 hours drive from a major body of water ordering fish may be suspect.

Many people, mistakenly, believe that this little personality foible of mine stems from a concern about the freshness of the product concerned. In fact, as Maximum Leader, I have a considerable understanding of how fish is caught, prepared and shipped. Indeed, my concern comes more from experience in how non-coastal places tend to prepare fish.

This said, I’m sure your club’s poisson courses are delicious and well prepared.

Are you sure that you should make a special request for Mrs P and Card’s Wife? Something like Dinde Grand-duc? (Can’t find a link to the recipe - but you can find it in your handy copy of Larousse Gastronomique.)

Now, Maximum Leader, or Maxy, as he is known here, is quite the expert at most things, especially ham pillows, but Maxy, we need to talk. This advice of advoiding shellfish 4 hours from brackish water is not advice that leads to a happy life. Life must have risks or it isn’t a life. Besides, men have understood the oyster and how to pack it for travel for centuries. Emma, which Jane Austen penned in 1816, takes place in the imaginary village of Highbury. Highbury is 16 miles from London and the families of Highbury, in the days before dentistry and antibiotics, regularly partook of oysters in season and not one of them cashed in their chips though the book lasted long enough for a couple to be married and then bring forth a child. A middle-aged couple no less, hence the regular partaking of oysters. Back in those days, in season was as key to enjoying oysters as was the proper packing of said bivalves.

The late cook, Julia Child, had grandparents who hailed from St. Louis. Julia was born in 1912. So, if one does the math, this would place Julia’s grandparents in St. Louis prior to St. Louis becoming the dog food capital of America. Or, about 20 years before the turn of the 20th century. According to Julia, every winter her grandfather would order a barrel of oysters from a reputable purveyor of oysters in New York City. The reputable oyster purveyor would have his men pack the oysters in a barrel surrounded in seaweed wit the well of the oyster shell facing downwards. This kept the oyster completely content inside the little seawater bath inside it’s shell with enough little oceany things for it to dine on. The oysters, not having a brain, didn’t even know they were no longer in the sea. The barrel was then placed on a steam locomotive, right side up, and transported to St. Louis where the oysters kept well for several weeks in the cold basement of Julia’s grandfather’s home. So the moral of this tale is that the key to enjoying oysters away from the sea is to see how they have been treated before you consume them : they must be placed well side down. Otherwise they will grow sick and eventually die. More than that, you will think you are dying if you consume a mistreated oyster. The good news is that a mistreated oyster gives off such a bad odor, one has to be beyond inebriated and really in a horizontal state to be enough of an idiot consider consuming it. If someone tells you, they were once made sick from a bad oyster or even a clam or mussel, nod your head and listen patiently with concerned eyes to their lament.

Your Maximum Leader can do nothing in the face of this commentary. (Save, of course, take it like a man. Even if it means… Radishing.) In the Socratic sense of offering an apology, he will have to say that it has been his experience that once one goes a way from salty/brackish water, the talent for preparing “fish” starts to diminish. Your Maximum Leader, rather arbitrially, set his distance away from salty/brackish water as 4 hours by car or truck.

Fish, including most shellfish, is a dish that take a little talent to prepare. It is easy to overcook, it is easy to undercook. And when fish isn’t done well, it is… Gross… Why on earth would one want to subject oneself to poorly done fish? He hopes that longtime readers, especially those living more than 4 hours than car/truck from brackish/salty water, will overlook this very minor foible in your Maximum Leader’s personality.

As enjoyable as it is to be taken to task by the delightful Mrs P, your Maximum Leader will try not to make a habit of running afoul of her.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has read a few things today that just beg to be linked.

First off… There is Eric’s peice about wild dogs. An excerpt:

… They truly were a menace…. having crossed that fine line that resides in the hearts of all beasts, they eagerly let civilization’s grip slip away and descended towards their more primal selves….

It is very good. Read it.

In a completely different vein, you should read the Taki piece that is linked by Wing Commander Seal. Your Maximum Leader is al for dictatorial style. Of course, his own personal style is a little retro - bejeweled floppy caps and all. But he has admired the style of Horthy, Peron, and Franco…

If you have a few minutes, and it will take a few minutes, you really need to read the piece in the LA Times about the discovery of a new Archimedes text under forgeries, prayers, and eraser marks. It is a fascinating read… And it isn’t every day you get to read the word “palimpest” in a news article…

Carry on.