Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is one tired guy. He hasn’t stopped since Friday. He wishes he could have a day just to relax. Let us recap shall we…

On Friday night the formal ball your Maximum Leader and Mrs Villain attended was great. Everyone seemed to really enjoy themselves. Your Maximum Leader worries a little that Mrs Villain didn’t have the best time. He feels this way because this year (and last) your Maximum Leader was responsible (with another gentleman) for planning and execution of the dance. Your Maximum Leader took this duty really seriously and spent a significant amount of time attending to the smooth operation of the dance. This left his lovely wife alone for some stretches of the night. He feels miserable about this. He will not be planning the dance again for quite a while. He hopes to make next year’s dance more enjoyable for her…

Sadly there will be no picture of your Maximum Leader bedecked in his tux. Alas, Villainette #2’s attempt at taking a photo failed because she had the camera set to some wierd setting that made us all out-of-focus… It is probably better anyway. Your Maximum Leader needs to take the tux to the tailor. He needs it taken in about a half-an-inch around the waist. His pants were drooping all night. Not a good scene.

Then on Saturday there was much yard work done in the morning. Your Maximum Leader’s hands have a blister to show how hard it was to get the leaf mulcher started. Eventually your Maixmum Leader excused himself from yard work and got to putting the finishing touches on his speech to be delivered on Sunday.

Saturday night was fun. Villainette #2 and your Maximum Leader went to Tony Cheng’s for dinner and then the Capitals game. We had shrimp toast and Peking duck for dinner. Your Maximum Leader loves Tony Cheng’s, but he should remember that their Peking duck isn’t the best in town. They put something on the skin that changes the taste. The skin is very crispy and has a sweet taste with an undercurrent of citrus. It is a flavor that is different from the ususal taste of Peking duck with which your Maximum Leader is familiar. In his opinion the best Peking duck in town is to be found at the Peking Gourmet on Route 7 near Bailey’s Crossroads (and across from St. Anthony’s Catholic Church).

The Capitals game was great. The Caps played soft during the first and second periods. They were outshot by the Florida Panthers. The Caps looked tired. Very tired. Then they turned it up in the third period and scored 5 goals in the last frame. They won 7-4. It was lots of fun.

Then yesterday your Maximum Leader went down to Longwood University to deliver a speech to members of the Freshman class who were being recognized for their early contributions to the school. The recognition dinner was being sponsored by a secret society that your Maximum Leader helped to establish 20-odd years ago. He made the 2.5 hr drive down to the school in about 2 hours. Then he had the pleasure of meeting a few of the current members of the society before the speech and dinner. They were gracious hosts who indulged him as he blabbed on about how things were long ago… Your Maximum Leader thinks the speech went off well. The students seated at this table were full of questions. He had to deflect the questions about the secret society; but he was happy to indulge them in reminescences about life at Longwood before they were born…

NB to Robbo: Your Maximum Leader is not your hero for ever. Sadly, he couldn’t figure out how to work in the material from the Market Snodgrass speech. He did try to tell an Irish joke to the students at his table and ramble a little bit. But it didn’t come off as well as it could have.

Then on the drive home he missed a turn that he has been making for decades and wound up in Goochland (rather than Richmond) before he knew it. So that added about 25 mins to his return trip that he’d not bargained for…

All in all, it was a good weekend. A bit on the tiring side… But very good.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is a great fan of Eric’s blog. It is pretty durned awesome.

Did you read one of Eric’s recent stories about the fruits of theivery? If you did not you should.

Your Maximum Leader sees that a few commenters are disagreeing with each other on the nature of the story. For what it is worth your Maximum Leader thinks that Eric was likely an agent of fate in this case. Yes we know that stealing is wrong. But in this case there is redemption in an attempt to right a wrong. No one would be happy with Eric stealing (indeed Eric himself was not), but in this case something was saved that would have been lost.

Regardless… The story itself is great. Read it and think about it some your own self.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader sees that Sir Basil lives… Basil also posts to remind us about Wodehouse’s birthday.

One hopes that Basil will make a habit of posting with less infrequency.

You know… Your Maximum Leader probably ought to pick up some Wodehouse to read and own…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader doesn’t really have anything well-formulated in his mind upon which to opine. (Although that hasn’t stopped him in the past… Ba-da-dum!)

When your Maximum Leader married his lovely wife, Mrs Villain, he was exposed to a little family tradition of hers. Every 1st of the month she would gleefully exclaim to him the single word “Rabbit!” as soon as she awoke. It is a little competition in fact. After she “Rabbits” your Maximum Leader she then goes and “Rabbits” the kids. Then she gets on the phone and “Rabbits” her parents and sister. During the summer months she will often call her aunt and put the “Rabbit” throwdown on her as well.

Your Maximum Leader never fully understood why she and her whole family did this. They said it was an “old Scottish tradition” in her family. Your Maximum Leader’s family is of Scottish extraction as well, but he never recalled anyone doing this. Well a few months ago while watching Craig Ferguson’s Late Late Show on CBS (which your Maximum Leader records every night) he caught Ferguson putting the “Rabbit” throwdown on his viewers explaining that his mother (in Scotland) always did it. (Although Ferguson’s mother takes it a step further and declares “little white rabbits” on the first of every month.)

If any of you loyal minions out there have experience with this little tradition, your Maximum Leader would be interested to hear about it.

Anyhoo…

Your Maximum Leader has nuthin’ right now… So…

RABBIT!

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader wants to pass along a link pretty much without comment.

Badass of the Week.

Actually your Maximum Leader thought of FLG quite a bit while reading some of the entries on past Badasses of the Week. (You can clicky here to visit the Hall of Badassitude.) You’ll know why from this little taste of the entry on The First Duke of Wellington (a favorite badass of your Maximum Leader’s):

Of course, Arthur Wellesley represented the badass knightly virtues that the people of his country seem to hold so dear, and, as such, in addition to being a fucking ass-destroying ballsmasher on the battlefield he was also a noble and righteous motherfucker as well. When the British troops started sacking and plundering everything in India following their victory, Wellesley ordered the men responsible for this complete lack of discipline to be flogged, beaten, teabagged, and/or hanged, because they were being fucking jackasses to everybody. Since he was the man responsible for single-handedly rocking so many nutsacks, Wellesley was appointed Governor of Mysore, took up residence in the lavish palace of the Sultan he had just finished pwning, and spent his days annihilating rebels, stomping the colons of jackass mercenaries, and administering Charles Bronson-style justice to gangs of murderous brigands.

This prose is a bit more (ahem) colorful than FLG’s, but there is a certain style to it…

Your Maximum Leader will go ahead and apologize in advance to anyone offended by so many f-bombs and references to nutsacks… Your Maximum Leader’s purient side was amused.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader’s friend FLG told him of a humorous exchange between FLG and a co-worker. Your Maximum Leader asked if he could take a page out of FLG’s own blogging handbook and recount the exchange here… FLG gave his blessing… Here tis:

A Conversation

One of FLG’s co-workers, who is of Indian Decent (CoID), walks up to FLG.

CoID: Do you have a dick?

FLG stops what he is doing and turns around.

FLG: Pardon me.

CoID: Do you have a dick?

FLG: Uh, yes…why?

CoID: How big is it?

FLG: Massive.

CoID: Really? Mine’s rather tiny. How do you clean it?

FLG: With soap.

CoID: Any particular kind?

FLG: Stop for a second. What are you getting at?

CoID: My dick is warped and dirty and I’m trying to fix it.

FLG: Warped? And dirty? I’m afraid of the answer, but please explain.

CoID: It’s warped where the Sun hits it and dirty in the corners.

FLG: Where the Sun hits it?

CoID: Yes. The house blocks some of the sunlight, but where it doesn’t the boards are warped.

FLG: Oh….the boards on your deck!

Okay… Your Maximum Leader doesn’t care who you are… That there will make you smile…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has nuthin’. Nada. Rien. Zippy.

He was pleased over the weekend at a Packers win. But on the whole, football wasn’t doing it for him.

He is feeling generally funkified. And that isn’t funky in a good way.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader fears that if Sir Basil doesn’t start blogging again soon he’ll have to replace the link on the sidebar with something fun…

Like the Art of Manliness.

Indeed… The Art of Manliness might wind up on the sidebar regardless.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is pleased to report that it appears as though the various renovations to the Villainschloss are completed. It is now just a question of moving some stuff around and getting everything back to normal. The renovations have caused the summer to be a bit tense among the whole family. So we are looking forward to a quiet long weekend to get our wa back.

Your Maximum Leader has, for the past few weeks, been storing up items upon which he wanted to comment at length. Alas, he couldn’t find time to do so. Rather than just discarding these items he’s decided to just dump some ideas in one post.

First up… Have any of you been following the abomination that has become the America’s Cup? Your Maximum Leader had some links that he’d planned on sharing. Alas, many of them are no longer functioning as the pieces have moved or changed or expired. To hit the high points… Basically the America’s Cup will be held in the Persian Gulf. The yachts will be trimarans. TRIMARANS! They will also allow motorized winches to be used on board. WTF? Really now… WTF? Your Maximum Leader thought that the requirements for the boats were determined a long time ago - and called for monhulled boats. Your Maximum Leader has only been marginally interested in the America’s Cup at best… And now all these changes have just set him off. It is crap.

Did you happen to notice this bit on the Washington Post concerning the possible discovery of a portrait of William Shakespeare done during the Bard’s lifetime? Fascinating stuff. Your Maximum Leader has seen the “forgery” portrait at the Folger Shakespeare Library and knew about it’s history. That said, these new researches and attempts to establish that the portrait actually shows Shakespeare are pretty interesting. Your Maximum Leader imagines that there is a National Geographic special in this story… Your Maximum Leader’s favorite passage from the article:

The hunt for a likeness of the bard in his heyday has turned up various candidates over the centuries, almost all of them illegitimate. Up to now, the painting with the most credible claim as a life image is the Chandos portrait, the star of London’s National Portrait Gallery. It shows a dusky, writerly-seeming man with receding hair and an earring. But its provenance is unclear. The search is complicated by the fact that a 1770s mania for Shakespeare souvenirs resulted in a spate of good forgeries. The Janssen portrait held by the Folger was thought to be one of those. The “Searching for Shakespeare” exhibit was therefore really a show about likely and, mostly, unlikely contenders. Cobbe and Laing wandered through the viewing, looking at bogus bards, until they arrived at a far wall, on which the Janssen portrait hung, on loan from the Folger. The oil-on-wood is legitimately dated to 1610, but it was discredited in 1937 when new X-ray technology showed the brow had been over-painted to make the sitter bald. It fell from grace under the supposition that it was altered to look more like the Droeshout. In 1988, the Folger restored the original hairline and exhibited it as an interesting mistake.

The Janssen showed a close-bearded man in a scallop-edged lace collar — in almost every detail, a replica of the unnamed courtier on the Cobbe family’s wall. The one who was not Sir Walter Raleigh.

After a moment, Laing said, “Don’t you have one of those?”

“Yes,” Cobbe said, nonplussed. “Rather a better one, actually.”

Your Maximum Leader will have to get to the Folger and see what he can. Of course it would be better to travel to Stratford upon Avon and see the whole exhibit…

Did you see the piece on Yahoo news about more people making their own bacon? Nope? Your Maximum Leader saw it. You can clicky here to get it yourself. The money quote:

“There is nothing bacon does not improve. Bacon is the new black,” says [San Francisco Chef Ryan] Farr, whose charcuterie company produces 4505 Chicharrones, the pork snacks favored by several San Francisco bars and restaurants. “I have five vegan friends who close their eyes when they eat them and pretend they are potato chips,” Farr says. “Bacon is the gateway meat.”

Bacon is a gateway meat… Wonderful! From experience your Maximum Leader can assure you that it leads to ham. If the Lord hadn’t wanted us to eat pork he wouldn’t have made the pig so darned tasty and easy to domesticate…

Your Maximum Leader is growing more and more tired of the “health care debate.” He should put extra emphasis on the quotes around the word “debate.” As your Maximum Leader mused earlier, there is no debate. There is only shouting. There is no meaningful discussion. Normally at this point the ossified battle lines either decide to actually battle or just decided to forget to fight. Your Maximum Leader hopes that the battle will not be joined at all in Congress and the bills will just die off until some other time. Republicans could show some real leadership in promoting a market based solutions along with legal reforms. Tort reform for malpractice and allowing insurance companies to compete across state lines would be a nice start. Also, one might as well consider the plan that your Maximum Leader blogged about in June of 2004.

Those are the big items on your Maximum Leader’s mind right now. Alas, there were some other bits he thought might make interesting posts, but they were too topical and their time is past…

More later.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has been a bad friend. He’s not called back his best buddy Kevin after a conversation last week where a call-back was promised. There isn’t any reasonable excuse that he can give, except to say that the renovations (which are very close to being done) distracted him. (NB to Kevin: Sorry man. I’m a loser.)

Some of you might also read Kevin’s blog, Kevin’s Walk, and be following the story of Kevin’s mom in her ongoing battle with brain cancer. Kevin, his family (and by extension, me) have been you dealt a tough hand to play out.

While I suspect that today will be a busy one for Kevin, it will probably not be too busy in the celebration of his 40th birthday. Kevin will likely be busy preparing to travel with his mom and dad down to Texas to visit relatives.

I wish Kevin a very happy 40th birthday with many happy returns. I hope that you have a great day today and enjoy the time you will be spending with mom. All of you are in my thoughts and prayers today.

(2nd NB to Kevin: I’ll call today. Promise.)

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader was reading over his favorite blogs this morning - as is his habit. And he discovered a wonderful little tidbit.

Fellow camelidophiles, all hail our Maximum Llama!

Robbo… Your Maximum Leader will have to keep an eye on you… You have the 3rd person schitck down too well…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader, for reasons passing understanding, just signed up on Twitter.

He now tweets.

Interested in becoming a follower?

Here is the feed. (Twitter.com/maximumleader)

Pithyness will follow.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader decided to make a second post and not update the one below…

Your Maximum Leader’s beloved sister and brother in law were just parented a second time. Your Maximum Leader’s sister delivered a healthy little girl. 7 lbs 6 oz. 19 inches long. 10 fingers and 10 toes (assuming you count opposeable thumbs as “fingers” - would it be better to describe them as 10 correct digits on hands and feet?)

Many congratulations…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is caught between conflicting emotions today.

Your Maximum Leader’s sister is, at this very moment, in the hospital. We hope very soon to hear the good news that she has safely delivered her second child. We don’t know if it will be a boy or girl, but we should know soon.

That is happy news.

Then there is the very sad news that Kevin’s mom (who is like a mom to me as well) will lose her battle with cancer sooner rather than later.

When I received word from Kevin about the diagnosis I was stopped at a red light. I had to pull over for a minute and cry.

It was a very hard afternoon.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader hasn’t been as good a blogger as he has been. This of course begs the question of exactly what your Maximum Leader feels a “good blogger” is. In the case of your Maximum Leader he believes (for himself) being a good blogger is posting at least one or two little nuggets of moderate quality a day. If the nuggets are really high quality then one every other day is acceptable.

As any reader here can tell… Your Maximum Leader hasn’t been a good blogger in over a year.

Of course, not every blogger needs to fit into this definition to be classified a “good blogger” by your Maximum Leader.

Take for example the great Velociman. He has never posted daily. But his posts are high quality. Very high quality. The Velociman is great. So great that even the interwebs can’t contain him. The V-man has a book now. One that you can buy and have shipped to your very own residence. Not only that, but after you receive your copy of “A Trip of Goats” you can carry it around everywhere. Even the bathroom… Books are cool that way.

There are lots of good bloggers over there on the left side of this blog. One of them had your Maximum Leader worried for a little while. Rooked transfixed your Maximum Leader when he first read it. It was filled with mind-bending prose and imaginative stories that excited and delighted your Maximum Leader. Then Mr Perry, the extraordinary blogger behind Rooked, had some personal issues he needed to work through. The blog changed. It was no longer an imaginative outlet for gripping tales. Instead it was a father’s discourse about love, responsibility and regrets. Normally your Maximum Leader stays away from blogs that seem to become to “intimate” in his opinion. But your Maximum Leader didn’t get that uncomfortable feeling from reading a blog-cum-diary. Indeed, Rooked was very compelling reading. Then for a while Rooked was dark. Your Maximum Leader worried that he’d heard the last of Mr CS Perry… But, happily your Maximum Leader can say that Rooked is back. Your Maximum Leader is excited for the future and what is coming up on Rooked.

(NB to CS Perry… If any of the “Rookies” would be interested in becoming the official “Naked Villainy T-shirt & Thong babe” have them contact me… Oh and one more thing… I’ve never heard of any good coming from a Russian “mail order bride” type. And I actually know one guy who went down that path…)

So… Go and buy the V-man’s book and make sure to check in regularly on Rooked. Neither will disappoint.

Carry on.