Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader feels he’s neglected you all a little bit. It has been something of a madhouse at the Villainschloss of late. Long story. The details of which he will sheild from your innocent reader eyes. Trust him. It is for the best.

Anyho… He sat down yesterday evening to write the Men’s Club post only to discover that this internet connection was down. Your Maximum Leader called his ISP and discovered that someone had unplugged the main server or something at the local office. He roundly chastised them and threatened flogging… And in the meanwhile decided to play some Rome:Total War…

So this morning he alighted to discover internet functioning… And something else! Midriffs.

Well one midriff exactly. Ally’s midriff. Sadie and Phin over at Apothegm have created for the lovely Ally! Go on over and check it out.

Excursus: You know, dear minions, that Apothegm gave Naked Villainy it’s new hip look. They are da bomb. As some people might say. Call Apothegm if you need to pimp out your blog.

And congrats Ally on a great new site.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has wanted to get himself motivated to comment on the riots in France. And he’s wanted to comment on the Carolina Cheerbabe scandal. But he’s found that computer games have occupied his free time… So, he was trying to figure out how to include these two completely unrelated news threads together for pithy commentary…

Our friend Steve the Llama Butcher has discovered what happens when news threads collide. And the results are fabulous.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader suggests that you go over to the Commissar and give him a little love. He’s crested 1,000,000 visitors and 2 years in the arena. No small feat that.

Your Maximum Leader wishes him many years of visitors and blogging.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is pleased that he provided some amusement to some of his readers last Saturday night. Upon reviewing the previous posts he can see that they are sort of funny. He was not particularly affected by his drinking the next day. His head was stuffed up (which might have just as much to do with seasonal alergies as anything else). He did have a headache. But the headache disappeared after a hot shower, some breakfast, and a particularly good sermon in church.

Today might be a light blogging day. Lots of stuff going on today. Your Maximum Leader hopes to blog some tonight before Monday Night Football.

Carry on.

greetings loyal minions. your maximum leadr is even more drunk than last time he types. i can’t hit the shift key and thr right letter at the same time. and i am typing really slowly. i see comments on the early on. i don’t tell stories or stuff on the blogs too often molly. it is not my style.

i am really pissed off at teh virginia tech hokies. looks like they are lose to the canes. bastards. it has upset the wife too. they play like shit. well played like shit for the first time this year. losers.

i didn’t play medival total war. i did play rome total war for a little bit. then it got too hard to consentrate on. that was when i started to watch the stupid football game.

i have thought of boobs more. boobs are good. well boobs on girls are good. boobs on guys are not good. sorta like rustys good gay vs bad gay from a while ago. i’d link if i could.

too ahrd to type. gonna sleep

carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader remembered that tonight was national drunk blogging night or some such beastie. So he got an early start on it. You know that in addition to it being national drunk bloging night it is also Guy Fawkes day. it also happens to be your Maximon Leader’s sainted fathers birthday. So we got the whole villainous family into the truck and went to have lunch with my dad.

That was where the drinking began. I had a beer with lunch. It was a stout. It was homebrewed at the place we ate. I think the place was called Sweet Water Inn or somthing. Your Maximum Leader’s father likes it a lot - hence why we went.

Anyhow. We treked home after lunch and your Maximum Leader waited a little bit before really pouring it on. According to his superlative swiss chronometr writswatch the time is now about 6:45. Your Maximum Leader has been drinking Knob Creek bourbon since about 3:30. That isn’t completely true. He did start off the night (or is it afternoon) with a shot of wild Turkey Rare Breed. That stuff is potent. Something like 110 proof or something.

So three hours later and your maximum Leader is still able to type reasonably well. He’s been pouring himself drinks in a large skull shaped plastic cup. ONe of the girls got it at the club halloween party last week. It sort of freaks her out to look at so I’ve approprated it for drinking tonight. The cup is about 7 inches high and must hold at least one can os soda in it. Well slightly more than one can of soda actually. I started with filling the cup from with bourbon just up to the level of the bottom row of teeth on the skull. That was the first drink. By about the thrid or fourth I think i’ve been filling the cup with bourbon to the bottom of the nos hole. AFter the bourbon has come the coke. Coca-cola taht is - not coccaine. Heh. (Taht will probably be a lot less funny tomorrow than it seems right now. Which I take as a sign that I must not be drunk enough.)

YOur Maximum Leader has forgotten how many drinks he’s actually had. But mywife is looking at me funny so I have to think that it has been a lot. I’ve now cloistered myself in my office with the computer. I also have my bottle of bourbon and a six pack of coke and a thing of ice. And my skull cup.

I supose the purpose of this is to write what migth be going through your mind. Frankly my mind is filled with all sorts of crap I’d like to blog about.

I’ll pour myself another and continue int he extended part. If you’ve had enough

CArry on.
(more…)

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader was sad to hear that our friend Gordon, the Cranky Neocon was closing down his own blog. But we were soon cheered up with the news that Gordon would be joining our other friend Preston Taylor Holmes at Six Meat Buffet.

Cranky has been sort of quiet of late at Six Meat Buffet. Today’s contribution was funny. Frankly, Preston’s post immediately preceeding Cranky’s is funny as well.

You should click over and look. They made your Maximum Leader chuckle.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader thinks he’s game. Game for what you ask yourself? Game to try and give the NaDruWriNi a shot. He read about NaDruWriNi over on the Ministry of Minor Perfidy.

Your Maximum Leader thinks he will try to do the whole drunk blogging on Saturday November 5th. Rules are:
1) You must tell everyone what you are drinking.

2) No post-editing is allowed. You can spell-check as you go, backspace and delete, and edit along the way, but there is to be no editing after-the-fact. First drunken drafts only.

Sounds like fun. So your Maximum Leader will give it a shot.

Did he mention they have a cool logo?

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has just completed a brief note that he will mail tomorrow to the Acidman. Your Maximum Leader hopes that he will find the help he is looking for and that the help will take. So to speak…

In the meanwhile, he’s been reading Gut Grumbles every day - as is his wont.

And he just has to point out this story from Queenie. She says its from her archives, but your Maximum Leader doesn’t remember it. Frankly he doesn’t remember why Queenie isn’t blogrolled… A problem that will be soon remedied.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is glad to be back in the dark foreboding confines of the Villainschloss. After a week away it is a relief to be back with the lovely Mrs. Villain, the Villainettes, and the wee Villain. It is a relief in so many ways, not the least of which is how much better he is sleeping. Your Maximum Leader doesn’t sleep well in most hotels. The mattresses are soft and the pillows inconsequential. At the Villainschloss the mattresses are firm, the pillows firm, and the water pressure in the showers resemble that of a power-washer.

But your Maximum Leader digresses…

Indeed, if you are looking for reasonable accommodation in Toronto, Canada you may choose to stay at the Delta Chelsea Hotel. It is nicer than most hotels, but not as nice as others. In point of fact your Maximum Leader has always taken a shine to Hiltons. Hiltons are ubiquitous enough to be everywhere your Maximum Leader needs to go. They are accommodating enough to meet his needs. And Hiltons generally are at an acceptable price-point for travel.

The Delta Chelsea in Toronto didn’t strike your Maximum Leader as being quite as nice as the better Hiltons, but surely as good as your better Sheratons. Indeed, before going to Toronto some of the more “jet-set” people with whom your Maximum Leader is acquainted informed him that he needed to stay at the Ritz-Carlton in the Yorkville District of Toronto. Your Maximum Leader had to turn tables on them and inform them that the last time he was in Toronto he stayed at the Royal York. The consensus among the “jet-set” was that the Royal York was the better hotel, but that the Ritz was nearer to the best shopping and dining.

But your Maximum Leader digresses again…

It had been a long while since your Maximum Leader had visited Toronto. He had forgotten how much he actually likes Toronto. All the big city attractions and culture you need, with fewer homeless people, less trash, and minimal crime. Indeed, on the list of great North American cities, Toronto is rather highly rated by your Maximum Leader.

Your Maximum Leader will not bore you all with the details of why he was in Toronto. It should suffice to say that he was there to further his ever expanding plots that will culminae in the establishment of the Mike World Order.

But your Maximum Leader will share with you all a few highlights of his trip.

First, his anger towards the National Hockey League has abated. He watched a lot of hockey in the evenings before retiring; and he was able to go to the Hockey Hall of Fame. The love of Canadians for hockey (their national sport) did much to rekindle the love of hockey that your Maximum Leader has had since his youth. So that is a good thing. The Hockey Hall of Fame is great. But it was somewhat smaller than he remembered. And once the expansion of the Baseball Hall of Fame is completed, Cooperstown will once again reign supreme in the Halls of Fame category of tourist attraction.

Secondly, the shopping in Toronto is actually quite good. With the strong US dollar he was able to make a few nice purchases for Mrs. Villain and the Villainettes while away.

Third, your Maximum Leader’s animosity towards the US airline industry has grown. Never before in the history of the service sector was so much extorted from so many for so little tangible comfort. Your Maximum Leader has made a note to himself to bring his own liquor and fine food on the flight with him.

Fourth, your Maximum Leader was able to pick up the latest Cowboy Junkies album. It is entitled “21st Century Blues.” Unfortunately, most of the album consists of covers of anti-war Bruce Springsteen and John Lennon songs. Not the sorrowful, yet compelling, stories of humanity that are the songs written by Michael Timmins. All the songs are well produced and movingly performed. Margo Timmins is still on the list of the sexiest women in the universe as far as your Maximum Leader is concerned. And your Maximum Leader must admit that the cover of “One” by U2 is very very good.

But the real highlight of the trip was meeting Skippy…

Your Maximum Leader feared, for reasons that need not be discussed here, that he might not get to meet Skippy at all. Skippy is a busy man. Your Maximum Leader is a busy man. Schedules didn’t coincide… It was a touch and go thing.

But once your Maximum Leader determines he is going to do something, he does it. So in anticipation of meeting with Skippy your Maximum Leader thought it might be a propos if he bought a little gift of greetings for Skippy. Afterall, your Maximum Leader was a guest in Skippy’s nation.

So, the first component of the gift was hardly a gift at all. Your Maximum Leader had fallen a little behind on his reading of National Review. So he brought the two most recent editions with him on the trip. Normally, your Maximum Leader, when he travels, brings along old National Reviews and leaves them conspicuously in public places. He does this in the hopes that some fellow traveler will be wanting reading material, pick up the National Review, and be converted to the Dark Side. In a way this is something of a public service in your Maximum Leader’s opinion.

On this trip it seemed appropriate to give these two copies of National Review to Skippy (given his love of American politics).

But two old (and pre-read) copies of National Review were hardly a gift. So something else had to be added to the mix. Something that Skippy would like and would actually use (in some way).

Being the avid reader of Skippy’s page that he is, your Maximum Leader knew that only one gift would do the trick. That gift is the gift that keeps on giving over and over again. Namely pornography.

To read the tale click through below the fold… Otherwise…

Carry on.
(more…)

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader had a great time last night. In case you didn’t read all about it on other blogs, there was a little fest of sorts last night. At the fest (held in the Washington Room of the Union Street Public House in Olde Towne Alexandria(e)) were JohnL of Texas Best Grok, Dawn of Caterwaulting, Ted of Rocket Jones, Buckethead of the Ministry of Minor Perfidy, Princess Cat of A Swift Kick & a Band Aid (and her boyfriend Matt), Robert the Llamabutcher, and Lysander of Alexandria.

And your Maximum Leader of course…

A great time was had by all. As with the other bloggers your Maximum Leader has met, it is a somewhat unique experience to meet a group of people who you feel you know at some level - but haven’t ever actually spoken to before. Conversation comes quickly and flows effortlessly. Your Maximum Leader is sure there is a sociology master’s thesis in the study of blogmeets out there waiting to be written… (If only your Maximum Leader were a sociology grad student…)

Your Maximum Leader was happy to meet everyone and enjoyed himself tremendously.

And now he is leaving for a trip to Toronto. Do not expect many updates from him during this week. That situation might change depending on circumstances - but it is best to set a low expectation.

In the meanwhile your Maximum Leader will just have to leave posting up to his capable Ministers…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader didn’t post yesterday because he was really sick. Really really sick. One of those nasty viral thingies. His fever is down to 100.6 from 103 yesterday. He might feel up to posting laster… But don’t count on it.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader just isn’t feeling much like blogging today. Although that will not keep him from trotting out a few links and comments for your reading enjoyment…

First off, a follow-up to the piece from last week about researchers “rediscovering” the Spanish Flu, which was the cause of the Influenza Epidemic of 1918. Here is a great piece from the Washington Post about the quest to find the genome of that famous flu. Your Maximum Leader should also respond here to Loyal Minion Bill’s comment about reinventing the flu as a trigger for a “Stand” moment. (Bill’s comment can be read here - in the trail following your Maximum Leader’s last flu post.) Your Maximum Leader remembers reading in one of these articles that the Spanish Flu of 1918 is reasonably harmless now. As with most flu variations, if you survive it once you build up immunity to it in the future. So, most humans alive today have some natural-born resistance to that variation of the flu. Of course, we have no natural-born resistance to the newest version of the bird flu that appears to be spreading around Asia right now. There doesn’t seem to be any reason to fear the Spanish Flu escaping the lab and wreaking havoc on an unsuspecting population.

Excursus 1: Your Maximum Leader does, in fact, have some lingering fears that biological weapons manufactured and improperly stored in the former Soviet Union. Those biological agents do pose a real threat to cause a chain reaction of plague as described in the early chapters of Stephen King’s novel, The Stand.

Excursus 2: Your Maximum Leader believes that 100 years from now when people are studying late 20th Century literature (f in fact they do study literature in the future) the only book of Stephen King’s that will be read will be The Stand. Of all of his novels it is the only one that is truly epic in scope.

Secondly… Your Maximum Leader predicted an upset victory of the Atlanta Braves over the Houston Astros in the National League Division Series. Well that didn’t happen. Neither did the Red Sox over the White Sox. St Louis prevailed. And we’ll see who wins in the Yankees/Angels series. At this point your Maximum Leader would like to see a St Louis/White Sox World Series. Frankly he wouldn’t mind a Houston/White Sox World Series either. He doesn’t want either the Angels or the Yankees fighting for the American League. Your Maximum Leader, in honour of the Astros, doffs his bejeweled floppy hat towards the fair Minion Molly (of Houston). Your boys won a great series. You should be proud.

Thirdly, while talking baseball. Your Maximum Leader, now that the regular season is over, will officially announce he is switching sides… Sides in baseball that is. You may remember your Maximum Leader’s struggles with Washington DC getting the Nationals. Well… Your Maximum Leader went to a Nats game a few weeks ago and at that game got himself a authentic fitted Nationals cap. On the way home from the stadium, he drove through downtown DC and gave his Atlanta Braves cap (purchased at Turner Field during a great Braves/Mets series by the way) to a homeless guy. Thus was your Maximum Leader’s conversion from a Braves to a Nationals fan complete. He is sure he’ll always have a soft spot for the Braves in his heart, but he’s fallen for his hometown Nats.

Fourthly… Your Maximum Leader promises that in the Mike World Order Sadie and Annika will both be on the Supreme Court of the MWO. Frankly, if you are a loyal minions and swear fealty to your Maximum Leader early on (like now) you will be picked for some great patronage job. Your Maximum Leader makes no secret of his support of cronyism in the MWO. To be a Friend Of Mike is everything.

Fifthly… Speaking of Friends of Mike and the Mike World Order… It has been a while since he posted it… So if you read below the fold you’ll have the newly revised list of the 40 Signs of the Mike World Order (in no particular order). Otherwise…

Carry on.
(more…)

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader was doing his morning perusal of blogs and jumped out of his seat when he got to The Hatemonger’s Quarterly. Whoa! What is this? Has the Crack Young Staff gone all techie on us and changed their blog skin? Are they HTML luddites no more? Next thing you know they will be using blockquotes and special characters…

Is this as monumental as the New York Times putting colour photos in the Grey Lady?

Your Maximum Leader dares to say that it is…

What is next? Comments and Trackbacks? Egad. Your Maximum Leader needs a drink.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is a happy camper this morning. Why you ask? Well because Loyal Minion Phin has upgraded Naked Villainy to the new(er) version of Movable Type. And although your Maximum Leader has no idea what all the new functionality is on V 3.2 he can say this… It looks mighty pur-ty. Yes, if you, dear reader, were able to log into the site to create or edit a post (which you are not), you would see lots of fun little colour icons and buttons. No more monochrome! It is almost like the Movable Type people said to themselves, “By God! We’ve got at least 256 web safe colours! Let’s use about 32 of them!”

Very impressive.

(That was thought number 1.)

Your Maximum Leader had planned on doing some blog maintenance this weekend. (This is thought 2.) He wanted to update the blogroll a little. Try and fix whatever was wrong with Blogads. And add a new Villainous Commerce icon based on a Big Hominid design. But due to the impending upgrade on MT from Phin, your Maximum Leader decided to hold off. Perhaps some day this week.

So instead of working on the blog he played a few hours of Rome: Total War. For quite a while it looked like the computer was going to kick your Maximum Leader’s arse. But then your Maximum Leader fought a very decisive battle outside of Tarantum. The difference for your Maximum Leader. War Elephants. It was cool.

And the third thought…

Your Maximum Leader will provide a link for your reading pleasure to Professor Stotch’s post about his recent experiences at a DC party. Your Maximum Leader will agree with Professor Stotch’s sentiment in the post. Dems are socialists. Republicans are liars. It is really too bad. Every time your Maximum Leader hears some Republican leader talk about how well they are doing running the country (and in this your Maximum Leader is thinking mostly about Congress) he wants to retch.

It is almost enough to make your Maximum Leader want to throw his vote away on a 3rd party candidate…

Carry on.