Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has a little free time and an open internet connection in the middle of his busy day in DC - so of course he’s gonna blog.

Alas, it is only time for a quick unsatisfying blog. It pains your Maximum Leader to be quick and unsatisfying to you his loyal readers. (If you know Mrs Villain you will know that your Maximum Leader is not by nature a quick and unsatisfying type of guy. Indeed all of the bloggers here are very giving. Sorta like Skippy - who is the most giving man your Maximum Leader knows.)

You know who always gives of themselves? The Crack Young Staff of The Hatemonger’s Quarterly. Hithertofore the Crack Young Staff has given of themselves religiously five days a week. Monday to Friday. Now they are writing on Wizbang on Sundays. How do they do it? Six days a week the Hatemongers give us content. And good content at that! Not the drivel your Maximum Leader has been phoning in for the past few weeks.

Your Maximum Leader knew about the Hatemongers’ weekend gig, but falling down on the job of being an Honorary Hatemonger he neglected to mention it in this space. Your Maximum Leader hopes this post redeems him.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader was just over looking at the whole “brrreeeport” game that many bloggers are starting to play. Wanting to know what exactly all this was he read the Llama’s post, then the Commissar’s post, then the SynchSpeed post, and finally Robert Scoble’s post.

So… In taking a hint from Steve, your Maximum Leader will try to protect a lame-o list of stuff we talk about here at Naked Villainy. They would be:

brrreeeport the dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt
brrreeeport Jaime Pressly (for the Smallholder)
brrreeeport Kate Moss (for the Minister of Propaganda)
brrreeeport Mike World Order
brrreeeport villainy (in general - just villainy)
brrreeeport dragging Barbara Striesand out and shooting her
brrreeeport thongs
brrreeeport sensible discussion about abortion
brrreeeport bad haiku
brrreeeport farming
brrreeeport holstein dairy cows
brrreeeport norwegian bull semen
brrreeeport mini-vaca
brrreeeport one word movie reviews
and of course
brrreeeport toad sexing

Your Maximum Leader thinks those might be the biggies. If he can think of any terms he’d like to “brrreeeport-squat” so to speak he’ll add them.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader, if he may channel Stuart Scott on ESPN, has to say that the Crack Young Staff of The Hatemongers Quarterly is like butter. ‘Cause they’re on a roll…

The Crack Young Staff’s las two entries are incandescently hatemongerish. And your Maximum Leader loves them for it. Clicky here to read about Cindy Sheehan’s eBay auction. Clicky here to read about the Dungeon Master…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has nuthin’ today. Just nuthin’. He does not want to opine or comment on anything that he can think of. Perhaps a muse shall strike him during the day.

And when he can’t think of anything to opine upon that means it is time for a quiz.

You scored as The Eighth Doctor (Paul McGann). The Eighth Doctor struck a chord with you after only one adventure. Maybe you are a fan of his audio adventures, or you just came to Dr Who quite late. Hope it wasn’t just the special effects that impressed you. The First Doctor (William Hartnell) 75% The Eighth Doctor (Paul McGann) 75% The Fourth Doctor (Tom Baker) 69% The Sixth Doctor (Colin Baker) 69% The Third Doctor (Jon Pertwee) 56% The Ninth Doctor (Christoper Eccleston) 50% The Second Doctor (Patrick Troughton) 31% The Seventh Doctor (Sylvester McCoy) 25% The Fifth Doctor (Peter Davidson) 19% Which Doctor Who are you? created with QuizFarm.com

Just to be clear… Your Maximum Leader has never watched a single episode of Dr Who that he can recall. So he has no idea if this is a good or bad thing.

Many thanks (and belated birthday wishes) to Robbo the Llamabutcher for this quiz.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has some bid-ness (as his homeys in the hood would say) to tae care of today in Richmond. So he doesn’t anticipate much activity today on the blog.

But before he goes he will doff his bejeweled floppy cap to the grand poobah of phishes. That would be our Loyal Minion Phin. Our friend Phin has been blogging for a year as of today. My how time flies.

Many happy (and funny) returns…

Excursus: Your Maximum Leader will start to lay odds on how often Phin will get to blog once the wee Phin is birthed… Contact your Maximum Leader for the latest lines.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader wanted to doff his bejeweled floppy hat towards the great Pulitzer-prize winning Jeff. Jeff, yesterday published one of the best paragraphs of prose your Maximum Leader’s read in a long time. Allow him to reprint it in full:

… Please note I don’t hate all Muslims, just the ones who hang rape victims & stone gays & fly airplanes into the sides of buildings & blow themselves up in supermarkets & restaurants & police stations, as well as the vast & teeming hordes whose inscrutable silence tolls like a dirge for the sleep of reason & who dwell like medieval pilgrims in this modern world.

That is magnificent. Your Maximum Leader read over (and even spoke aloud) the line: “The vast and teeming hordes whose inscrutable silence tolls like a dirge for the sleep of reason…”

Excellent.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader’s wa is disturbed. Greatly disturbed.

His Poet Laureate has gone completely ’round the bend. Need proof? Clicky here.

Your Maximum Leader rests his case.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader wishes his loyal (and dead sexy) minion Sadie all the best in her new digs. She is now reincarnated as Agent Bedhead.

Your Maximum Leader was wanting (rather desperately) to go and visit the new site before the big kick off. But he resisted. It seemed wrong to spoil the surprise…

Go. Now. Read.

(And update those bookmarks!)

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader, like so many bloggers, is a news hound. He reads the news constantly. Indeed, his reading of the news probably adds some unneeded stress to his life and will probably cut it short in years to come; but it is an addiction nonetheless.

Having said that, your Maximum Leader doesn’t feel like blogging about any of the very topical discussions out there right now. He feels like he should, and frankly you should too, try and take a little break before Christmas. A few days of frivolity and lightheartedness is likely a good thing for all of us.

This feeling of your Maximum Leader’s will likely pass. (Possibly by this afternoon actually.) So who knows what he’ll post over the next few days.

Should he decide to blog about non-lighthearted things he may decide to opine on: secret wiretaps, the NYC transit strike, the “war” on Christmas, Sadie’s suggested topic of feminism and its necessity in the USA today, and the ignorance of the DC city council when it comes to the proposed stadium for the Nationals baseball club.

Until your Maximum Leader has a change of heart, expect fluff.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has learned that the Crack Young Staff of the Hatemongers Quarterly have moved their site. They are now Munuvians. Go and visit their new site at http://hatemongers.mu.nu. Change your bookmarks, update your links if you blog. Visit over and over again… (Or at least once a day… Your call on that.)

Your Maximum Leader wishes “Chip” and the rest of the Crack Young Staff the very best with their move.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is off to a slow start this morning. His brain doesn’t seem to want to focus on anything. (So it seems.) But even with a slow brain he thinks of his minions and their need to read something…

First off… What the hell is wrong with you all? Your Maximum Leader knows that you all are busy with your lives and all. And he knows that you might be torn by the wide-ranging choices you have available to you… But really now, just go and vote for the Hatemongers. If you don’t there is no telling what will happen to “Chip.” Those salacious photos of Chip “fending off” the “advances” of Wonkette will surely be made public if you don’t go and vote for the Hatemongers right away. Your Maximum Leader knows that the competition in that category is stiff. Indeed, he is a regular reader of many of the sites nominated. But he isn’t going to take the wussy “Awww… They should all win something.” approach. Your Maximum Leader is an honorary Hatemonger! And that means something to him. Go vote! Your Maximum Leader has already voted 5 times today for the Hatemongers… You should do the same.

Secondly, if you’ve not read Outer Life recently your Maximum Leader highly recommends this post.

And lastly… If you have a subject upon which you would like your Maximum Leader to expound… Please feel free to suggest it.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is sure that many of you out there were waiting for those words to be written. Well there they are. Your Maximum Leader is back at the Villainschloss and all is right in the world.

Well… Everything except this blog… It seems as though even though they were warned that your Maximum Leader wouldn’t be around, the other bloggers here decided to pass up the opportunity to write One Word Film Reviews, Gun Posts, or lengthy treatises on agriculture. It is sad really. Given the keys to the Kingdom and what happens? Nuthin. This, dear minions, is the reason that it is the Mike World Order and your Maximum Leader will be in charge. If given the choice between establishing a world order or sittin’ around doin’ nuthin’ they would choose… Nuthin’.

So, where to begin…

Your Maximum Leader had a great time away for the most part. He’ll not bore you all with the cumbersome details, but allow him to give his completely unlimited endorsement of the Nemacolin Woodlands Resort and Spa. What a great place. Your Maximum Leader partook of world-class dining, private exercise classes, luxury accomodations, and - most of all - shooting.

Yes… Shooting. Your Maximum Leader spent an afternoon at the (world famous) Nemacolin Shooting Academy. He went out and shot at sporting clays with a brand new Browning Citori 525 Golden Clays model. He shot at 100 targets at about 20 different stations. (He only hit about 30 - in case you were wondering.) It had been about 10 years since your Maximum Leader had gone shooting with a shotgun. (And the last time was a charity trap shoot in fact…) It was a treat for him. His accuracy improved as the afternoon progressed (as one would hope it would). Although he made improvements, your Maximum Leader was greatly distressed at his inability to “pick up” many of the clay pigeons. He found those pigeons that came out of a thicket, at a distance, and didn’t break towards him were the hardest to see. It was somewhat distressing. He thinks a combination of age, lack of practice, and the size of his glasses were all contributing factors. Probably practice and size of glasses being the largest.

By the way… If any particularly generous minion out there has lots of cash and wants to get on your Maximum Leader’s good side… Someone could go and buy him a shotgun.

Your Maximum Leader will to return to Nemacolin (with Mrs. Villain this time) this spring. On a second visit he may partake of more shooting clays and the Hummer Driving school. Also when he returns he will go to Aqueous. Aqueous was highly recommended; but your Maximum Leader just didn’t have the time.

He did partake of Lautrec’s however; where he got a tasting menu. He had the: Bay Scallops w/caviar (a little too salty), the Lobster soup (quite good, mild and captured without overpowering, the taste of lobster), Squab w/Foie Gras (normally not a big squab fan, but this dish was very enjoyable - probably more a case of the main ingredient being improved by the supporting cast), and the Duet of Beef (which was excellent). He finished off with a special chocolate raspberry creme brulee (which was good - but a little too chocolate-y for your Maximum Leader).

In addition to Lautrec’s he also ate at the Golden Trout and 30 East Main. Both of which were excellent, but with a more conventional menu. Indeed the “comfort food” on the menu at 30 East Main was great. (Your Maximum Leader had suffed cabbage. Quite yummy.)

So… Let it no suffice to say that he enjoyed himself very much… But for as much as he enjoyed himself, it didn’t beat returning to the Villainschloss and the arms of his awaiting wife and children.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has a few quick announcements to deliver this morning…

First and foremost… You must all go and vote. Yes, vote. Go and vote for the 2005 Weblog awards. This annual ritual wherein the “blogosphere” conducts non-scientific polling with the unintentional affect of hurting some other blogger’s feelings has begun. Your Maximum Leader (who strangely was not nominated for anything) has a few recommendations for his minions.

In the “Best Humor/Comic” blog category you must - MUST - go and vote for the Hatemongers. For Gawd’s sake, your Maximum Leader is an honourary Hatemonger… It is your DESTINY to vote for the Hatemongers.

In the “Best Culture/Gossip” blog category you must - MUST - go and vote our friends the Llamabutchers. If you don’t Robbo might be forced to do all Bach-blogging all the time. (And the LMC will never get to do “Flash in the Pan” babes again!) UPDATE: You can also vote in good conscience for Jeff at Beautiful Atrocities. That is a toughie actually. Indeed, if you have multiple computers vote for the Llamas on one and Jeff on the other…

And in the “Best Conservative” blgo category you must - YES MUST - go and vote for Loyal Minion Rusty Shackelford (and his minions) at the Jawa Report. If you do not, the terrorists have won.

Your Maximum Leader will make no other endorsements (unless he feels like it). Until informed otherwise, you are free to vote you conscience. Remember you can vote once a day. And if you are lucky enough to own multiple computers, you should vote from each multiple times per day.

In the “other announcements” category… Your Maximum Leader completely forgot he has a trip scheduled for this week. He is going off to the wilds of western Pennsylvania for a few days. During that time his access to the internet will be scetchy at best. So he will have to hope for a repeat of yesterday when his loyal ministers took up the slack and spent the day taunting each other.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader wanted to take a brief break from his vacation to with his favourite wooly, meaty, and snippy bloggers a Happy Blogoversary. He thought, for some mad reason, that they had been blogging for longer? Humm… Time flies when one is contemplating Melissa Theuriau…

Robbo and Steve, your Maximum Leader doffs his bejeweled floppy hat and wishes you many happy returns.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader wanted to let you know that he is going to be taking a little blog vacation. He’s got lots going on this week and has decided that he’ll probably not blog much or at all. Consider this fair warning.

This is not to say that he’ll not pop in from time to time and post a little something. It might happen. Just to keep you on your toes. Under ordinary circumstances your Maximum Leader would tell you to keep checking this space for pithy observations from his various ministers. But he’s not sure he can even promise that knowing that his ministers are men-about-town and quite busy.

In the meanwhile check out the high quality blogs on the blogroll… Buy some Naked Villainy stuff. (It makes a great holiday gift!) And otherwise…

Carry on.