Greetings, loyal minions.  Your Maximum Leader has returned.  Oh, how much he has to tell you minions.  Where to begin?
 
First off, a retraction.  The last post your Maximum Leader completed before departing for his little trip, the one about the attack on a French woman on a train; is in fact a hoax.  Shame to the woman.  Scorn on her for fabricating such a tale.
 
Now, on to business.  Shortly after his last post, your Maximum Leader jumped into the Villainmobile and drove on down the the Minister of Agriculture’s (collective) farm.  The two of us then departed the friendly confines of the greater Charlottesville, VA area on a mad rush to New York state.
 
We drove (okay, for the sake on full disclosure - your Maximum Leader drove) at high speed across the beautiful mountains of Virginia and Pennsylvania.  We then skirted across the Pennsylvania piedmont and tidewater.  Then we crossed up towards the Finger Lakes regions of New York.  Our first destination, Auburn, NY.
 
Once we crossed into New York, we determined to visit the Millard Fillmore birthplace.  It seemed a must while so near.  Yes, loyal minions.  Your Maximum Leader and his faithful Minister of Agriculture were going to go and see the very place where one of the most mediocre men ever to occupied the presidency of our great nation was born.
 
We veered the Villainmobile off the highway and started to drive the scenic byways of New York state.  We passed through many lovely late 19th century villages and towns as we progressed towards our destination. 
 
Alas, this part of our story is not a happy one.  We drove and drove all around the region looking for the Millard Fillmore birthplace.  It was so clearly marked on all our maps, yet in reality it was so elusive.  Eventually, your Maximum Leader and his Minister of Agriculture broke down and decided to ask a local…
 
Much to our horror, no one in the area knew, or had ever seen the Millard Fillmore birthplace.  They all had heard about the Fillmore Glen state park.  But none could help us in our quest to see the place de naissance of our less-than-illustrious thirteenth president.  Alas, we feared that time was growing short and our quest for Millard Fillmore was abandoned.  Unfulfilled.
 
But we did stop at a winery on Lake Cayuga.  The wines were a little too sweet for your Maximum Leader’s palette.  But we did contribute to the local economy nonetheless.
 
Late in the evening we arrived in Auburn.  We caught a quick bite at a local pizza joint and turned in to watch the home run derby on ESPN.  (Well, your Maximum Leader watched the home run derby at any rate.)
 
The next morning we awoke and visited the Seward Mansion.  It is a grand old house.  Th Minister of Agriculture suggested this stop (click here to see the Smallholder in front of the house), and it was a good one.  The house is filled with books.  Your Maximum Leader had no idea that William Seward was such a world traveller.  He visited Egypt, the courts of Europe, China, and Japan.  For a man of his time (d.1872) he was remarkably well travelled.  If you are in the Auburn area, your Maximum Leader suggests you stop in and see Seward’s house.  
 
Then your Maximum Leader and the Minister of Agriculture drove on to Cooperstown, NY.  There we visited that great shrine to the great American game, the Baseball Hall of Fame.
 
If you’ve never been to Cooperstown allow your Maximum Leader to make some observations.  First, the town is hell and gone from anything.  There is no direct route there.  One must travel small two lane roads through hills and fields.  While this was just what your Maximum Leader and the M of A were hoping for, it could be disappointing for those of you out there used to seeing things “right off the interstate.”
 
Cooperstown is a lovely little victorian hamlet.  One big main street, filled with baseball stores, a few restaurants, and various trinket stores.  There are large victorian houses throughout the town.  And their owners must take particular pride in their homes, because they are all beautifully landscaped and well kept.
 
The National Baseball Hall of Fame was a little disappointing to your Maximum Leader.  (Who is a baseball fan.)  Much of the hall was closed for renovations, and many of the exhibits were travelling around the country.  Most were in Houston for the All Star Game.
 
Your Maximum Leader saw many of the plaques enshrining some of his favourite players in the grand hall.  He also liked seeing some of the memorabilia from the early 20th century.  One of your Maximum Leader’s favourite players of the game is Ty Cobb.  (Click here to see your Maximum Leader with the plaques of the first class inducted into the Hall.  Ty Cobb, Honus Wagner, Christy Mathewson, Walter Johnson - and being blocked by your Maximum Leader - Babe Ruth.) 
 
Yes, yes.  Ty Cobb was a horrible, vile man.  But he was a great player and your Maximum Leader admires him for his skills.  Another of your Maximum Leader’s favourite players was Hank Aaron.  (Who by all accounts is a fine man as well as a fine player. Seeing the plaques for these two greats, and looking at their bats and uniforms was fun.  Overall the visit to the hall was a little disappointing as so much of it was not available to see.  Your Maximum Leader will have to go again some time.  Perhaps next time he will find a way to hit a few balls on Doubleday Field. (Click here to see your Maximum Leader and the Smallholder in front of Doubleday Field.)
 
Then your Maximum Leader and the Minister of Agriculture went on to Sagamore Hill.  Your Maximum Leader had been to Teddy Roosevelt’s home before, but it was the first visit for the Minister of Agriculture.  It is a wonderful house.  Your Maximum Leader has found that presidential homes are often great reflections of their owners/builders.  This is certainly true of Sagamore Hill and TR.  The rooms are covered wih hunting trophies.  (They are also filled with books.)  The house is masculine to say the least.  The walls are covered in dark walnut paneling (save the drawing room - which Mrs. Roosevelt painted a light blue and filled with Louis XIV furniture).  And the lighting is generally quite subdued.  Your Maximum Leader finds the house relaxing.  Which is, he suspects, as it should be.  TR and his family were a vigourous outdoor bunch, and when they came inside it was to eat, read, rest, and prepare for more outdoor activities. 

(Need more images?  Well here is the Smallholder relaxing in one of TR’s rocking chairs on the porch of Sagamore Hill.  Here is the house from the main road.  Here are some of TR’s “big sticks.”  Here are the chaps TR wore while working as a rancher in North Dakota.  And here is the uniform in which he charged up San Juan hill.)
 
After Sagamore Hill your Maximum Leader and the Minister of Agriculture returned to Virginia.  But shortly after the Minister of Agriculture returned to his farm, your Maximum Leader went to pay a visit on the AirMarshal, Mrs. AirMarshal and their newest daughter (who is your Maximum Leader’s goddaughter). 
 
Many many congratulations to the AirMarshal.  Your daughters are beautiful.  You are a very lucky man.
 
After paying a visit to the AirMarshal, your Maximum Leader returned to the Villainschloss to recieve the Foreign Minister and his family.  We had a great visit, and determined that (somehow) your Maximum Leader must contrive a gathering of all of his ministers.  Since the Poet Laureate is in Korea, the Minister of Propaganda is on the left coast, and the Foreign Minister himself is regularly in Germany that is a tall order.  But your Maximum Leader will put his formidable mental powers to that task.
 
So, now your Maximum Leader is back and ready to comment pithily on current events, philosophy, Jennifer Love Hewitt, and other sundries that come his way.
 
Carry on.