Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader figured now was the time for some Maximum Leaderly advice for President Bush.

First off, enjoy the bounce Mr. President, it is not likely to last. Yes indeed. The recent surge in the polls around the nation for you is due to a confluence of factors. Of course the Convention in New York went remarkably well for you. It was, like so many Republican conventions past, staged wonderfully. Bravo. Your Maximum Leader doesn’t think that you can also discount a little Olypmic push there too. People were watching the Olympics and feeling sort of patriotic. People feeling patriotic make them like you a little more. And, of course, you can’t discount the effect of the Swift Boat Vets ads.

So, you are bouncing Mr. President. Where do you go now?

Well, don’t think this bounce is the beginning of a surge that will carry into a second term. It is, just as your Maximum Leader says, a confluence of factors that will likely fade as we move past the anniversary of September 11th. The Kerry campaign, and their myriad 527s (Moveon.org, Americans Coming Together, and Texans for Truth, etc., etc.) are going to be coming after you with all of their formidable resources. (Hey, all George Soros needs to do to finance a few million dollars worth of attack ads is short the dollar some more!)

So let us reexamine what has worked in the past that you need to continue doing. Mr. President, it looks like personally staying positive and reminding people that you are a strong and determined leader is a good move. Keep doing it. Limit your attacks to specific examples of Kerry flip-flops during his Senate career. Especially his flip-flops on defence issues. Keep up talking about those. Voting for war-spending, then voting against it…You know the line.

When people mention Vietnam, be sure to restate that Senator Kerry served honourably and with distinction and leave it at that. When people bring up your Guard service say that you are dismayed that some elements (never the Kerry Campaign) would try to pass off forged documents to gain a political advantage over you, and leave it at that.

You need to keep up appearances that make you look presidential. Lots of White House/Rose Garden cerimonies are good. Your staged campaign events are good too, but make sure you’re looking presidential. Your Maximum Leader realizes that you are more comfortable in a button-down shirt and jeans, but try more suits. When Kerry isn’t windsurfing or skiing or sailing he is wearing a suit. (At least the news seems to show him in suits more often than you.) Suits make you look more presidential.

Now, while you are out there looking presidential and strutting in your suit, what to do with all your allies?

Keep Cheney on the attack. He is a fighter. Your Maximum Leader likes that. (NB to Dick Cheney: Your Maximum Leader likes you. You will be rewarded greatly in the MWO. How does Archduke of Cheneyvia - aka: the territory formerly known as Wyoming, Idaho, Montana, North and South Dakota, Nebraska, and Oregon - sound to you?)

Yes, Cheney out there stirring up the base and tossing out the red-meat is a good thing. Get Lynne out there too. She is really good. A little softer around the edges and a bit more academic. But Lynne still packs a powerful rhetorical punch.

Your Maximum Leader also thinks that you should get Rudy Guiliani out on the stump with you in Pennsylvania and Ohio. Or send him on his own. Have him keep giving that Convention speech. It is a real crowd pleaser. Rudy is a real crowd pleaser. And have Rudy campaign for you out on Long Island and in upstate NY too. Make Kerry feel he has to work for New York too. (Your Maximum Leader doesn’t think you can win New York, but if Kerry is going to make you work for Virginia and North Carolina - make him work for New York.)

Your Maximum Leader would also put John McCain and Governor Ah-nold together on the campaign trail for you in Arizona, New Mexico and Florida. (Hell, send Rudy to Florida too… All those former New Yorkers would love him.)

Mr. President, run lots of positive ads in the “Morning in America” vein. Keep saying the economy is improving. (It is.) And with George W. Bush at the helm the future is bright. Remind people that with the exception of 7 quarters (four in 1991-1992 and three from 2000-2001) the American economy has grown since Ronald Reagan’s tax cuts of the early 1980s. Wrapping yourself in a little of the Gipper’s posthumous economic glow can’t hurt you. Keep pushing to make your tax cuts permanent, but go a little easier on the spending side of things. While most Americans don’t understand the long-term effects of the deficits; most remember Ross Perot harping on it in 1992 and feel that they should be concerned about the deficit. In a pinch, forget about talking about reducing the deficit. It is a boring non-starter to a quick political conversation - and will not win you many votes. If you can get Kerry to talk about it a lot - do so. Then hammer him on all his support of spending in his years in the Senate and his opposition to tax cuts.

Now, you also need to hope for a little good luck to come your way in the 527 department. The Democrats have a huge (stupendously huge in fact) advantage over you in this department. You need to hope that some more rich Republican’s with a little political savvy form some 527’s and pound Kerry on any part of his record/past they can. (Hope, since you can’t legally encourage any.) You should hope that some Republican 527s have political savvy because you don’t want any backlash from some really opstreperous or tasteless ads. But, that is a risk you run. History tells us that people might be upset at you for “allowing”harsh negative ads to run; but the damage hurts Kerry more.

The big hurdle for you Mr. President will be the debates. Your Maximum Leader thinks you should go ahead and have three. He knows your people are pushing for only two. It seems to your Maximum Leader that if you have three the likelyhood of one bad performance will be diminished.

Remember you did surprisingly well against Gore in 2000. It is hard for your Maximum Leader to realize that for all your broken syntax and ill-strung-together verbalizations, you somehow came out of the Gore debates looking like a good guy who knew what he was talking about.

Of course, Gore didn’t help himself in 2000 also. Remember Saturday Night Live? Oh… That little exasperated breath killed him.

Mr. President, you have to provoke a Saturday Night Live moment. Get Kerry to breathe heavy into the microphone. Get him to lose his cool. Push his buttons. Remember when Kerry fell when skiing earlier this year? And when the reporters caught it on camera he came over and said the Secret Service agent “bumped” him and “made” him fall? Kerry has a temper if you push the manliness button. Hit him a little on the flip-flopping in the Senate. Try to make him explain the complexities of a Senate vote. Try to get him to explain in a limited time format how he wanted to vote for something but couldn’t because of riders. Then tell him that he just didn’t have the courage to fight for his convictions. That will push his buttons and make a fun sound bite too.

Overall, you have to shoot for a good performance in the debates. A performance with no missteps on your part. On the whole, the debates aren’t going to change many minds. They aren’t going to push any undecideds into your camp - unless you screw up. So don’t screw up.

What does all this boil down to? Keep up what you are doing. But be diligent. Don’t become complacent. Stick to your message. Keep the message simple. Look presidential. And win in November.

Carry on.