Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader sees on the news wires that a House committee has voted to recommend extending Daylight Savings Time.

Great Jeezey Chreezey!

Now your Maximum Leader is all for sensible measures to conserve energy. And he is all for measure to reduce our dependance on foreign oil. But come on! Screw with Daylight Savings Time? Your Maximum Leader already HATES Daylight Savings Time. It is an abomination against the whole concept of time. If you want more daylight - why not just adjust the work day seasonally?

Or even better… Let’s just declare the US to be a “Whatever the hell type of time we want zone!” Or a good Federalist solution, let the states decide what time they will keep. Even better! Lets start using universal time and Stardates from Star Trek! Woo hoo!

What else can we do to mess with time some more? How about rather than using the decay rate of cesium beam clocks to measure time we start keeping time by some other method? Your Maximum Leader will suggest we use the number of sand grains passing through the official sand-glass kept in UN Headquarters in New York. (It will give the UN a real purpose.) The basic unit of time could be measured in sands - which your Maximum Leader sets at 1000 grains. 1000 sands would equal kilosand. 1000 kilosands would be a megasand. And after a 1000 megasands passed, the process would begin again. So if you asked someone what time it was you would be told: “Oh! The time is X megasands:Y kilosands and Z sands. My watch doesn’t measure grains.”

Damn screwing with time..

Carry on.