Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader, as loyal minions should know, is an Elvis man. He likes to keep up with goings-on concerning “The King” in the news. So imagine his interest when he read this headline: Man Auctions Water From Cup Elvis Used.

Huh?

It seems Mr. Jade Jones of Belmont, NC just made $455 by selling water from a cup from which Elvis purportedly drank in a 1977 concert.

Your Maximum Leader, who is an Elvis fan afterall, is all for people buying and selling their Elvis related stuff. But really now… Water? Deep frozen then transferred to a vial? $455? That is a little much.

But speaking of Elvis artifacts… Your Maximum Leader has a rule concerning Elvis-stuff. It cannot cost more than $25 (US). With the exception of Elvis CD box sets, nothing Elvis related your Maximum Leader owns cost him more than $25. This rule has been an albatross around his neck however. You see, your Maximum Leader would love to purchase the perfect Velvis. (Velvet Elvis Portrait that is.) The Velvis must be of “The King” circa 1976. He should be dressed in a jumpsuit (American Eagle jumpsuit or Aztec Sun jumpsuit preferably) and he should be sweating profusely. A general blue-tint to the work is also acceptable. Yor Maximum Leader has been looking for the perfect Velvis for years. But everytime he finds a suitable contender, it is more than $25. Once, while traveling through Missouri, your Maximum leader found a near perfect Velvis. It was hanging on the wall of the Jesse James Hideout and Saloon, off I-70 roughly in the middle of the state. Your Maximum Leader haggled with the proprietor of the establishment. But, sadly, the proprietor wouldn’t part with it for $25.

The search continues.

Carry on.