Weddings aren’t just about tax benefits and health insurance.

They are family celebrations of the lives of the bride and groom.

They are family celebrations of the continuity of the little idiosycrancracies we all have. The bride’s family requested “Sweet Caroline” three times. When the young people left to go wherever it is that young people go, the grandparents’ generation started Irish dancing. And let me tell you, some of those septuagenarian Irish grandmothers are surprisingly spry.

They are family celebrations of the new lives the bride and groom will build together.

They are family expressions of love - not just for the bride and groom but of everybody.

They are family reunions.

They are families getting to know the youngest generation. My sweet Emilie was the belle of the dance floor, getting down with her two-year-old self.

They are families getting “betrunkt mit.”

And yet…

Some folks out there, and they know who they are, in the service of a morally indefensible bigotry, in the attempt to push their religious beliefs on others, would like to tell some families that they are not allowed to have weddings.

I realized during the festivities that Jerry Falwell and his ilk aren’t just hurting gays. They are harming all of us.

I pray and hope that my children are straight. Not because I believe that homosexuality is a sin. Because I wouldn’t wish the personal, vicious hatred of the bigots on anyone, let alone my own children.

My children are so wee that we have no idea how they will turn out. No parent does. Every single bigot should stop and think: Would I have the things I advocate applied to my children?

I’m feeling a bit of rage. How dare some Bible-thumping-Bible-misinterpreting sack of crap tell me that I can’t walk my daughter down the aisle if there is another young woman waiting for her.

Any person who would deny their own children and their own families the joyous celebration that is marriage - and anyone who would deny it to other children and families risks denying it to their own kin - is someone who I condemn.

A person who would let parental love take a back seat to hateful ideology is someone deserving of scorn and condemnation.

I can’t even begin to wrap my mind around the fact that Strom Thurmond, as he stood on the Senate Floor filibustering against the Civil Rights Act, KNEW that he was leading the crusade to discriminate against his own illegitimate daughter. Anti-homosexual advocates don’t know that on the same level. But if they were the least little bit reflective, they would realize that they were risking discrimination against their own children.

I’ve argued philosophically, legally, and sociologically against legislating discrimination. I’ve tried to do it in a reasoned voice and with a persuasive tone. Until now, raw anger has not been a part of my public voice.

It is today.

So, as a father who loves his kids, I say this:

Screw you, Rick Santorum.

And your little dog Toto too.