Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader just got onto his fully-functioning ubercomputer after it was in the thrall of Mrs. Villain most of the night. He figured he’d read up on the goings-on in the world for a little bit and then retire.

But one article caught his attention…

Now for those of you who may not know this, your Maximum Leader is generally quite pleased with the job his state government transacts. He is a proud Virginian, certainly when most matters of state governance are concerned.

Well… Except for this. Do we really need a law banning low-rider pants? Come now. Is this the proper use of legislative time in a short session (60 days)?

Your Maximum Leader remembers when he used to live in Virginia Beach, Virginia. He heard that the City Council was going to ban the wearing of thong-style bikini bottoms in public. He actually went to the public hearing on that proposed ordinance. It was, perhaps, the single most entertaining public meeting he’s ever attended. There were various city councilors and their supporters with big blown-up photos (probably 2ft x 3 ft) of various women’s arses. All wearing thongs. They were being shown to illustrate the problem with thongs, namely how they expose too much arse flesh. (And as we all know, the puritans were right when they taught us that exposed flesh excites the passions.)

Eventually a city ordinance was passed. Thongs are illegalto wear in public in the city of Virginia Beach. And to help the police who might have to enforce that law there are written guidelines. Basically, a bathing suit must cover, at a minimum, 33% of the surface area of a woman’s buttocks. If it does not, it is illegal.

Your Maximum Leader would really like to see a police officer actually try to calculate the surface area of a woman’s arse and determine if her bathing suit covers the requisite 33%. That would be something.

Carry on.