Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is hurting for content. Or more accurately, is hurting for time to write good content. So, as a cop out, he will just post this sorta funny joke that a friend sent in an email. It is likely that you’ve heard it before, but here goes:

A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together. They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment. She notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears.

There are three shelves in the bedroom, with hundreds and hundreds of cute, cuddly teddy bears carefully placed in rows, covering the entire wall! It was obvious that he had taken quite some time to lovingly arrange them and she was immediately touched by the amount of thought he had put into organizing the display. There were small bears all along the bottom shelf, medium-sized bears covering the length of the middle shelf, and huge, enormous bears running all the way along the top shelf.

She found it strange for an obviously masculine guy to have such a large collection of Teddy Bears. She is quite impressed by his sensitive side, but doesn’t mention this to him. They share a bottle of wine and continue talking and, after awhile, she finds herself thinking, “Oh my God! Maybe, this guy could be the one! Maybe he could be the future father of my children?”

She turns to him and kisses him lightly on the lips He responds warmly. They continue to kiss, the passion builds, and he romantically lifts her in his arms and carries her into his bedroom where they rip off each other’s clothes and make hot, steamy love. She is so overwhelmed that she responds with more passion, more creativity, more heat than she has ever known.

After an intense, explosive night of raw passion with this sensitive guy, they are lying there together in the afterglow. The woman rolls over, gently strokes his chest and asks coyly, “Well, how was it?” The guy gently smiles at her, strokes her cheek, looks deeply into her eyes, and says: “Help yourself to any prize from the middle shelf”

Okay, it made your Maximum Leader chuckle.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader saw this video over on Kevin’s site. It is awesome.

Looks like fun… If you are in the tank…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader wishes you all a Happy Easter.

He especially wishes Robbo a great Easter. You are an inspiration. Your Maximum Leader wishes he could join you as you finish crossing the Tiber.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader kept a small pad with him during his recent trip to Las Vegas. The purpose of this pad was to jot down random thoughts he had that might make a good blog post. Now, he’s just decided that the jottings themselves will be come the blog post… Here we go…

Ugly women with big fake boobs. There are many of them in Vegas.

Neon gives one’s skin an unhealthy look at night.

The Bellagio is showing it’s age. Although only 10 years old, it could use new carpets, fresh paint, and new upholstrey.

The casino ceiling in Mandalay Bay is too high to be comfortable - but probably helps in dispersing cigarette smoke.

Ashley Dupre is hot. But, she has a small tattoo that is distracting.

Eliot Spitzer isn’t going to be gettin’ any for a while… Even if he tries to pay for it.

There are many better things to do with $80 large.

Okay… Maybe there are a few things better to do with $80 large.

Drunk guys playing blackjack near you isn’t much fun if they are loud and obnoxious.

Foie Gras is sooooo damned tasty…

Foie Gras and bacon is damned close to heaven on a plate.

Is creme brulee out of fashion? You can’t find it anywhere.

Smoked salmon, capers, cream cheese, and red onion on a salt bagel is a good way to start your morning.

The Wynn is cool.

How much water does Vegas have? Is there really a future there?

Cab drivers in Vegas are more chatty than in other cities.

Why is it that although I’ve been staying up until midnight or 1 am, I can’t sleep past 5am?

Ceasar’s casino is better than Bellagio’s because they don’t use shuffling machines.

$5/hand single deck blackjack is fun.

Ben Bernake has the toughest job in the world right now.

I didn’t understand Keno until a waitress explained it to me. After understanding how it works, I find myself wagering $10 on six numbers for 5 games over breakfast. Is that the sign of a problem?

Barry Manilow doesn’t look 64.

Penn & Teller rock.

I don’t like eating at the Palms. The restaurants are okay, but priced like they are superb.

There are many hawt young things at the Palms.

Since I don’t like eating at the Palms, and I’m not big into the night life, is there a reason for me to go to the Palms ever again? Probably not.

I’m glad I bought new sneaks at Niketown. Walking everywhere is killing me.

These new sneaks are Da Bomb.

Sports books are fun, even if you don’t bet.

Putting $2 on Georgetown to win the whole deal… UNC and Kansas be damned!

Haven’t seen one person in the whole city wearing apparel of a sports team I give a damn about…

For your money, a Bentley is a better ride than a Maybach. The difference is the leather.

Sadly, I missed the all you can eat sushi at some place near the Hard Rock. I also didn’t go to Nobu - again… Damn…

Lobster omlettes seem just a little indulgent for breakfast. Just a little…

Saw Pete Rose in a memorabilia shop at Ceasar’s. He looked pathetic. I wasn’t going to spend $100 to get a signed ball and photo. Damn Pete Rose. Lousy bastard.

Glad to be going home…

There you have the thoughts… Some not even in third person…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has, over the past few days, been listening to the oral arguements given in DC vs. Heller. He’s also been reading the commentary from leading sites on the proceedings before the high court. The best and most interesting one (in a small digestible portion) is Randy Barnett’s.

As longtime readers know, your Maximum Leader has long believed that the Second Amendment right to keep and bear arms was an individual right. The reasons for this are contextual (in that the Bill of Rights is mostly concerned with the rights of individuals - and thus it stands to reason that the Second Amendment would also be an individual right), grammatical (how does one interpret those damned commas? Here is how…), as well as his understanding of the arguements put forth about the Amendment at the time of the Constitution’s ratification.

Anyhooo…

Your Maximum Leader, like so many gun nuts, has been aching for the high court to take a stand on the individual/collective right to keep and bear arms. Now, like so many gun nuts - of which he proudly counts himself in that number, he is going to have to lay in the bed he’s made up.

Far from believing that any particular finding in Heller is going to be “the final word” on this subject; your Maximum Leader is now wondering just how the gun control debate will change. Let it be known that your Maximum Leader is 75% confident that at least 5 justices on the court will find for the right to keep and bear arms as an individual right. It is possible that even 6 justices might find so. He further thinks that the DC gun ban will be struck down. But that is pretty much the extent of it. DC will, your Maximum Leader thinks, be able to tweak their gun ban and reinstate it in an acceptable form. (Probably registered handguns, with lengthy waiting periods and background checks, and trigger locks.) But he isn’t sure that an individual rights interpretation will do much to end - or even change the direction - of the gun control debate in the US. For the most part all individual rights are subject to some sort of “reasonable” restriction. Those restrictions are going to be fought about in court and legislatures. Unfortunately, more fighting will be done in courts than in legislatures.

Indeed, your Maximum Leader fears that this is one more issue that our elected representatives will be able to pawn off on the courts. They will likely want to wait to see how current laws are challenged before trying anything new. This can be a blessing to gun owners - in that new federal regulations are unlikely. (NB: They were unlikely before the Heller case, but are even less likely if the court holds for the individual right.) But by leaving the matter up to the courts, gun owners should be wary. Different circuits will have different holdings, and the whole pond of gun rights will get muddy very quickly.

So, if the case goes the way your Maximum Leader hopes it will, the news could be generally good. But there could be a gray lining to the silver cloud…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader wonders if anyone in America still has a working coal fired furnace in their home. Further, your Maximum Leader wonders if anyone has a coal stove in their home anymore.

When your Maximum Leader was very young he remember a neighbour having a small coal-fired stove in their parlor. He remembers the hissing sound the burning coal made. He also remembers the room as being very very warm. He can visualize the bucket of coal next to the stove and the small shovel hanging on the side of the bucket.

He remembers the coal as being very comforting.

So… Does anyone out there use coal to heat their house any more?

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is returned from a week in Vegas. Ah… Las Vegas… That city can bring out the worst in a person. Luckily, it did not bring out the worst in your Maximum Leader. He came home only about $50 down and with fun memories of seeing Penn & Teller and Barry Manilow. (Excursus: If you are a personal friend of your Maximum Leader and remember seeing a Penn & Teller show with him at the National Theater in DC at some point between 1990 and 1995 please let him know. He is sure that he saw the show with someone, but now can’t remember who…)

Anyhoo…

Your Maximum Leader is now a week behind at everything. That means he might need a day or two to catch up. This process is made worse by the fact that (once again) the Wee Villain is rife with pestilence. Over the past six weeks the Wee Villain has been afflicted with (in order): severe cold/border-line flu, strep throat, ear infection, full-blown flu, and now conjuctivitis. This is driving your Maximum Leader and Mrs Villain nuts.

Your Maximum Leader can’t commit to much blogging over the next few days, but he’ll give it the ole college try…

Carry on.

I’m sick and tired of all this liberal media bias and the government’s persecution of good solid conservatives.

Spitzer may have hired a prostitute, but he didn’t kill her like Ted Kennedy killed his girlfriend four decades ago.

Democrats may scream about Spitzer’s prostitute, but Senator Byrd was a member of the Klan.

Spitzer may have hired a prostitute, but at least he didn’t lie under oath like Bill Clinton.

What?

Spitzer’s a Democrat?

(/rabid conservative talk show host)

Never mind.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader realizes that the Crack Young Staff at the Hatemongers Quarterly may not be posting too often; but when they do it brings a smile to his face.

To wit: The Crack Young Staff dishes out television show character endorsements in their latest. Most are not a surprise. There was one surprise… Mr. Magoo. Your Maximum Leader would have never guessed as to his political leanings.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader isn’t dead. He is just having difficulty getting onto a computer to blog. As he mentioned a few short posts ago, computer time is becoming hard-to-get at the Villainschloss. So your Maximum Leader has been thinking up lots of great posts… And letting them wither on the vine that is his clouded brain. He had a few pithy comments to make about Hillary Clinton’s victories the other night… But now you’ve probably heard enough of that and are moving on.

Your Maximum Leader might try to post a few things tomorrow or over the weekend. But no guarantees. He owes Mrs. P. some decrees (which he hopes to work on tonight). And you shouldn’t expect to hear from (read?) your Maximum Leader next week. Why you may ask? Well don’t ask, just read the post title line again.

Yes, your Maximum Leader will be in Las Vegas next week. If you happen to be in the Las Vegas area next week, shoot your Maximum Leader an e-mail. He’ll try to meet you. Otherwise, just imagine what your Maximum Leader will be doing…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader saw a piece on the Reuters news wire that surprised him a little bit. Here is the piece: Congress in turmoil over Air Force tanker decision Here are some excerpts:

A U.S. Air Force decision awarding a $35 billion aircraft contract to a team including the European parent of Airbus landed like a bomb in Congress on Friday, drawing howls of protest from lawmakers aligned with the loser, America’s Boeing Co.

The Congressional delegation from the Seattle area said they were “outraged.” Kansas Republican Rep. Todd Tiahrt vowed to seek a review of the decision “at the highest levels of the Pentagon and Congress” in hopes of reversing it.

…

Boeing has big facilities in both Seattle and Wichita, which stood to gain from the long-term project to build up to 179 aerial refueling tankers. Although Boeing was favored to win the contract, the Air Force awarded it to a partnership between Northrop Grumman and Europe’s EADS.

…

Washington Senators Patty Murray and Maria Cantwell, both Democrats, along with six other lawmakers from the state said in a joint statement: “We are outraged that this decision taps European Airbus and its foreign workers to provide a tanker to our American military.

“We will be asking tough questions about the decision to outsource this contract. We look forward to hearing the Air Force’s justification.”

Once again your Maximum Leader isn’t sure what to make of his government. Is your Maximum Leader offended that a consortium containing Airbus has won the contract to provide the tanker? At some base (and he does mean base) level his sense of Nationalism is offended. He’d like to see Boeing win every major airplane contract out there. But is an Airbus consortium winning this contract a bad thing? Probably not.

What is unusual is that if one is really concerned about our defence industries “going overseas” then shouldn’t you be concerned about microchip and semi-conductor manufacture “going overseas?” Shouldn’t one be concerned about the origin of all the components that go into defence industries? This decision is just one reasonably minor cog in the greater wheel of globalization.

Now, your Maximum Leader is a staunch free-trader. But he also is concerned about American industry. Unfortunately, the time for us (that is the United States) to be worrying about where the major components of our military equipment (or computing equipment, or vital goods for our technology infrastructure) come from was - as best he can tell - about 30 years ago. That ship has sailed. The US economy is integrated into the world economy. A factory in China could shut down and our supply of iPods (to use a mundane example) would be affected. A major power outage in India could affect US hospitals being able to treat patients. (It’s true. Some hospitals have outsourced the “reading” of machine outputs - like MRI or CAT scans - to doctors in India.)

This is the world we live in today. On the whole, it is a good world to be a part of. But it is not without risks. But to complain that US national security is endangered by the award of a contract to a company that happens to have a European component is ridiculous.

If our government wants to create a domestic military-industrial complex (humm… that is a catchy term…) that artificially keeps certain industries active (if not truly viable without government assistance) in the US; your Maximum Leader supposes that our government could choose to do that. But it would be refreshing - if not nigh impossible - for a politician try to understand the economic reality of the world and explain it to their constituencies.

Then again… Economic jingoism does make one feel better…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader wants to wish his good friend Skippy a very happy 38th. Many happy returns. Lucky for Skippy, your Maximum Leader will not be sending any damp underwear. (NB to Skippy: If you think there is anything your Maximum Leader can get you (legally) for your birthday - please let him know.)

You know, there are times when your Maximum Leader wonders if he and Skippy aren’t sometimes psychically connected. You see, your Maximum Leader and Skippy were thinking the same thing this morning while watching “Meet the Press.” Only your Maximum Leader was too lazy to write an outstanding blog post about his thoughts (which pretty much mirror Skippy’s - except for all that stuff about being Canadian).

All this stuff about renegotiating NAFTA or withdrawing from NAFTA is crazy talk…

But then again… Both Clinton and Obama are good at dishing out the crazy talk.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader was very amused and interested to see this little piece on the Reuters news wire. If your Maximum Leader were advising Hilary Clinton he would recommend that she avoid Wajir region of Kenya. Here is the excerpt:

Kenyan elders may impose a fine on U.S. presidential hopeful Hillary Clinton, payable in livestock, after a photo of her rival Barack Obama in robes dragged their people into the race for the White House. The picture, which appeared on a U.S. Web site, showed the Illinois senator in a white headdress and traditional Somali attire during a 2006 visit to Wajir in Kenya’s remote northeast.

Obama has battled a whispering campaign by fringe elements who wrongly say he is Muslim and his aides accused Clinton’s campaign of “the most shameful, offensive fear-mongering” after the photograph was published.

Wajir elders resolved to file an official complaint with the U.S. Embassy in Nairobi, dropping earlier plans to hold a protest after Friday prayers.

They said they would also convene a traditional Somali court to investigate the matter. It can impose fines that are payable in cattle, goats or camels.

“We will go ahead with this case whether Senator Clinton or Democratic party leaders turn up or not,” said Mohamed Ibrahim, a member of the clan that hosted Obama during his trip. “But this whole thing can be avoided if only an apology is made.”

Frankly, your Maximum Leader thinks that Senator Clinton ought to just donate some cows and goats to the clan regardless. It couldn’t hurt. Heck, it might actually help someone clan member.

She could even have Bill deliver the livestock…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader sees on NRO that William F Buckley Jr has died. Your Maximum Leader is genuinely saddened. He’ll have to think of more fitting words to mark this passing than just a few hasty jottings…

Your Maximum Leader will say a prayer for him.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader needs another computer. Not that there is anything wrong with the computer he has. It is just that he finds that he is going to have to share it more and more. You see, Mrs Villain has her own laptop computer. Your Maximum Leader has his big ole massively powerful desktop. But now the Villainettes are getting to the point where they must start using the computer more for school. This means that your Maximum Leader is having less and less time available for idle computer use. He needs another computer. He needs a computer with which he can blog and surf the internet.

He could buy a cheap laptop.

Or he could save up a little and buy a Mac…

Oh how he’d like that… Maybe a Macbook Pro… With the 17 inch screen and all the bells and whistles…

Then again… He could buy a cheap laptop…

Carry on.