WordPress database error: [Table 'wp_options' is marked as crashed and should be repaired]
SELECT option_value FROM wp_options WHERE option_name = 'siteurl' LIMIT 1

WordPress database error: [Table 'wp_options' is marked as crashed and should be repaired]
SELECT option_value FROM wp_options WHERE option_name = 'siteurl' LIMIT 1

WordPress database error: [Table 'wp_options' is marked as crashed and should be repaired]
SELECT option_value FROM wp_options WHERE option_name = 'siteurl' LIMIT 1

WordPress database error: [Table 'wp_options' is marked as crashed and should be repaired]
SELECT option_value FROM wp_options WHERE option_name = 'siteurl' LIMIT 1

WordPress database error: [Table 'wp_options' is marked as crashed and should be repaired]
SELECT option_value FROM wp_options WHERE option_name = 'siteurl' LIMIT 1

WordPress database error: [Table 'wp_options' is marked as crashed and should be repaired]
SELECT option_value FROM wp_options WHERE option_name = 'siteurl' LIMIT 1

WordPress database error: [Table 'wp_options' is marked as crashed and should be repaired]
SELECT option_value FROM wp_options WHERE option_name = 'siteurl' LIMIT 1

WordPress database error: [Table 'wp_options' is marked as crashed and should be repaired]
SELECT option_value FROM wp_options WHERE option_name = 'siteurl' LIMIT 1

WordPress database error: [Table 'wp_options' is marked as crashed and should be repaired]
SELECT option_value FROM wp_options WHERE option_name = 'siteurl' LIMIT 1

WordPress database error: [Table 'wp_options' is marked as crashed and should be repaired]
SELECT option_value FROM wp_options WHERE option_name = 'siteurl' LIMIT 1

WordPress database error: [Table 'wp_options' is marked as crashed and should be repaired]
SELECT option_value FROM wp_options WHERE option_name = 'siteurl' LIMIT 1

WordPress database error: [Table 'wp_options' is marked as crashed and should be repaired]
SELECT option_value FROM wp_options WHERE option_name = 'siteurl' LIMIT 1

WordPress database error: [Table 'wp_options' is marked as crashed and should be repaired]
SELECT option_value FROM wp_options WHERE option_name = 'siteurl' LIMIT 1

WordPress database error: [Table 'wp_options' is marked as crashed and should be repaired]
SELECT option_value FROM wp_options WHERE option_name = 'siteurl' LIMIT 1

WordPress database error: [Table 'wp_options' is marked as crashed and should be repaired]
SELECT option_value FROM wp_options WHERE option_name = 'siteurl' LIMIT 1

WordPress database error: [Table 'wp_options' is marked as crashed and should be repaired]
SELECT option_value FROM wp_options WHERE option_name = 'siteurl' LIMIT 1

WordPress database error: [Table 'wp_options' is marked as crashed and should be repaired]
SELECT option_value FROM wp_options WHERE option_name = 'siteurl' LIMIT 1

WordPress database error: [Table 'wp_options' is marked as crashed and should be repaired]
SELECT option_value FROM wp_options WHERE option_name = 'siteurl' LIMIT 1

WordPress database error: [Table 'wp_options' is marked as crashed and should be repaired]
SELECT option_value FROM wp_options WHERE option_name = 'siteurl' LIMIT 1

WordPress database error: [Table 'wp_options' is marked as crashed and should be repaired]
SELECT option_value FROM wp_options WHERE option_name = 'siteurl' LIMIT 1

WordPress database error: [Table 'wp_options' is marked as crashed and should be repaired]
SELECT option_value FROM wp_options WHERE option_name = 'siteurl' LIMIT 1

WordPress database error: [Table 'wp_options' is marked as crashed and should be repaired]
SELECT option_value FROM wp_options WHERE option_name = 'siteurl' LIMIT 1

WordPress database error: [Table 'wp_options' is marked as crashed and should be repaired]
SELECT option_value FROM wp_options WHERE option_name = 'siteurl' LIMIT 1

WordPress database error: [Table 'wp_options' is marked as crashed and should be repaired]
SELECT option_value FROM wp_options WHERE option_name = 'siteurl' LIMIT 1

WordPress database error: [Table 'wp_options' is marked as crashed and should be repaired]
SELECT option_value FROM wp_options WHERE option_name = 'siteurl' LIMIT 1

WordPress database error: [Table 'wp_options' is marked as crashed and should be repaired]
SELECT option_value FROM wp_options WHERE option_name = 'siteurl' LIMIT 1

WordPress database error: [Table 'wp_options' is marked as crashed and should be repaired]
SELECT option_value FROM wp_options WHERE option_name = 'siteurl' LIMIT 1

WordPress database error: [Table 'wp_options' is marked as crashed and should be repaired]
SELECT option_value FROM wp_options WHERE option_name = 'siteurl' LIMIT 1

WordPress database error: [Table 'wp_options' is marked as crashed and should be repaired]
SELECT option_value FROM wp_options WHERE option_name = 'siteurl' LIMIT 1

WordPress database error: [Table 'wp_options' is marked as crashed and should be repaired]
SELECT option_value FROM wp_options WHERE option_name = 'siteurl' LIMIT 1

WordPress database error: [Table 'wp_options' is marked as crashed and should be repaired]
SELECT option_value FROM wp_options WHERE option_name = 'siteurl' LIMIT 1

WordPress database error: [Table 'wp_options' is marked as crashed and should be repaired]
SELECT option_value FROM wp_options WHERE option_name = 'siteurl' LIMIT 1

WordPress database error: [Table 'wp_options' is marked as crashed and should be repaired]
SELECT option_value FROM wp_options WHERE option_name = 'siteurl' LIMIT 1

WordPress database error: [Table 'wp_options' is marked as crashed and should be repaired]
SELECT option_value FROM wp_options WHERE option_name = 'siteurl' LIMIT 1

WordPress database error: [Table 'wp_options' is marked as crashed and should be repaired]
SELECT option_value FROM wp_options WHERE option_name = 'siteurl' LIMIT 1

WordPress database error: [Table 'wp_options' is marked as crashed and should be repaired]
SELECT option_value FROM wp_options WHERE option_name = 'siteurl' LIMIT 1

WordPress database error: [Table 'wp_options' is marked as crashed and should be repaired]
SELECT option_value FROM wp_options WHERE option_name = 'siteurl' LIMIT 1

WordPress database error: [Table 'wp_options' is marked as crashed and should be repaired]
SELECT option_value FROM wp_options WHERE option_name = 'siteurl' LIMIT 1

WordPress database error: [Table 'wp_options' is marked as crashed and should be repaired]
SELECT option_value FROM wp_options WHERE option_name = 'siteurl' LIMIT 1

WordPress database error: [Table 'wp_options' is marked as crashed and should be repaired]
SELECT option_value FROM wp_options WHERE option_name = 'siteurl' LIMIT 1

WordPress database error: [Table 'wp_options' is marked as crashed and should be repaired]
SELECT option_value FROM wp_options WHERE option_name = 'siteurl' LIMIT 1

WordPress database error: [Table 'wp_options' is marked as crashed and should be repaired]
SELECT option_value FROM wp_options WHERE option_name = 'siteurl' LIMIT 1

WordPress database error: [Table 'wp_options' is marked as crashed and should be repaired]
SELECT option_value FROM wp_options WHERE option_name = 'siteurl' LIMIT 1

WordPress database error: [Table 'wp_options' is marked as crashed and should be repaired]
SELECT option_value FROM wp_options WHERE option_name = 'siteurl' LIMIT 1

WordPress database error: [Table 'wp_options' is marked as crashed and should be repaired]
SELECT option_value FROM wp_options WHERE option_name = 'siteurl' LIMIT 1

WordPress database error: [Table 'wp_options' is marked as crashed and should be repaired]
SELECT option_value FROM wp_options WHERE option_name = 'siteurl' LIMIT 1

Hshshsjs

WordPress database error: [Table 'wp_options' is marked as crashed and should be repaired]
SELECT option_value FROM wp_options WHERE option_name = 'siteurl' LIMIT 1

WordPress database error: [Table 'wp_options' is marked as crashed and should be repaired]
SELECT option_value FROM wp_options WHERE option_name = 'siteurl' LIMIT 1

WordPress database error: [Table 'wp_options' is marked as crashed and should be repaired]
SELECT option_value FROM wp_options WHERE option_name = 'siteurl' LIMIT 1

The latest on E

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is sure that you all know that he is a big Elvis fan. How big an Elvis fan? Well let us just say that in the Mike World Order he would exert Charles V-like pressure on the Vatican to accept Elvis as at least “Blessed.” Heresy it is… But that is your Maximum Leader… (He’d be willing to erect edifices and schools and orphanages, and hospitals as penance…)

Anyhoo…

So… Your Maximum Leader sees that one of his least favourite Elvis jumpsuits sold for a whopping $300,000 at auction recently. According to the news article:

The online sale by auctioneer Gotta Have It! ended at 3 a.m. The pre-sale estimate was $275,000 to $325,000.

The white outfit with a plunging V-neck and high collar features a blue-and-gold peacock design hand-embroidered on the front and back and along the pant legs.

It is cinched at the waist by a wide belt decorated in gold medallions in a design resembling the eye of a peacock feather.

The auctioneer described the seller as “a big Elvis collector” and declined to say who bought it.

Presley paid $10,000 to have the outfit made by Los Angeles designer Bill Belew, who created all of The King’s stage wardrobe between 1968-1977. It captured the rock ‘n’ roll legend’s fascination with peacocks as a good luck symbol and the auction house said it was among his favorite Belew designs.

In case you are not curious enough to click through to see the obligatory pic… Here tis:
Elvis’ Peacock Jumpsuit

Your Maximum Leader’s favorite Elvis jumpsuit… The rising phoenix jumpusit. Alas, your Maximum Leader can’t find good photos on the web to share with you. He thinks he might have a photo of his own to post from one of his many trips to Graceland… If he can find it he’ll post it.

Carry on.

100 Below: Vader’s visit

Commander Terek of the Imperial Star Destroyer “Attacker” was selected to approach the Captain about the memorandum sent in advance of Lord Vader’s arrival.

“Sir, is this a serious request?”

“Yes.”

“It is to be “masculine and robust” like his own. Have you ever seen his?”

“Of course not. It’s covered.”

“But how?”

“How the hell should I know? Use that stuff keep for shore leave. It promotes growth.”

A week later, the Captain and the Commander met Lord Vader on his arrival.

Vader said, “Your moustache is impressive Commander.”

“Thank you my Lord.”

The steroid worked, in two ways.

Delmarva Shorebirds

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader isn’t at the Villainschloss. In fact he is out taking a quasi-vacation with family at Ocean City, MD. Last night, to mix it up a little bit, your Maximum Leader took his niece and nephews and Villainette #2 to their first Single A baseball game. We saw the Delmarva Shorebirds take on the Kanapolis Intimidators in Salisbury, MD.

It was a great time. Arthur Perdue Stadium is a wonderful fan friendly place. Lots of helpful people. Plenty of bathrooms. Easy access to concessions. A hot tub in left field (an amenity of which your Maximum Leader didn’t avail himself). A carousel and moon-bounce for the kiddies. It was really great. It kept the two littlest kids distracted. Your Maximum Leader did actually get to watch the game some.

Your Maximum Leader forgets how much he really does like minor league ball. There is still a certain purity about it that you don’t feel in the big league parks and with big leaguers. These guys down at Single A ball WANT to play. Your Maximum Leader didn’t figure that all of them were under contract with big league team (the Shorebirds are an Orioles affiliate). So some of these guys might be pulling down $20,000/year to ride in the old team bus and stay in old hotels to play ball.

Almost without exception, you could tell the players were really trying hard to impress the fans and show that they had potential. Your Maximum Leader says almost without exception because there were two noteworthy exceptions in the “play with all your heart” exuberance that your Maximum Leader saw. The exceptions were the two starting pitchers. Your Maximum Leader hasn’t seen two more pitchers with less enthusiasm for fielding in many years. The two pitchers were almost identical in their pathetic fielding. A few times short liners where it to either side of the mound, and the pitchers stood there and didn’t even try for a ball that was 1) at glove height and 2) passing withing 2-3 feet of the pitcher. The pitchers also had trouble covering first on short hoppers hit to the first baseman. Three batters reached base because the pitcher didn’t hustle to first for what should have been an easy out. It was crazy.

Pitchers not wanting to field aside… The game was quite thrilling. The Shorebirds were down 3-1 in the bottom of the ninth. They got a man on with no outs. Then the next batter hit a triple into deep left-center field. The first runner scored and the cut-off man on the relay overthrew the ball to the third baseman. The ball careened into the Shorebirds dugout and the runner was awarded home to tie the game. Then in the bottom of the tenth, the Shorebirds got another runner on first, he reached second on a throwing error, and scored on a long single to right.

And after the game there were fireworks for the kids.

The whole experience (including 4 kids tickets, two adult tickets, 5 ice creams, 4 lemonades, 1 Dr. Pepper, 1 bottle of water, 8 rides on the carousel, 8 trips in the moon bounce, 4 trips to the wiffleball batting cage and 1 balloon) cost less than $100.

It don’t get much better than that.

Carry on.

Blogosphere inaccessible

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader sees that many of his favorite blog sites are inaccessible to users of Internet Explorer today. Some issue with Sitemeter… Your Maximum Leader doesn’t use Sitemeter. Indeed, there are many of those fun plug-in thingies that your Maximum Leader doesn’t use. Yeah, not using them might reduce his site traffic and keep a few people from finding this site. But hey. Your Maximum Leader has been around for 5 years and if you want to find him, he’s out there.

Of course, there are some bloggers who are saying that if you wouldn’t use Internet Explorer then you wouldn’t have the problem. Well… Last time your Maximum Leader checked more people use IE than any other browser. Shouldn’t you want to keep your site as acessible to the largest number of readers as possible. If more people use IE than any other browser, shouldn’t you keep that in mind when you construct your web site?

Wasn’t there supposed to be something about equality and egalitarianism on the web?

We’re all about egalitarianism here at Naked Villainy…

Carry on.

Big Train debut.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader notes that there isn’t much to cheer for in Washington nowadays when it comes to baseball. But, back 100 years ago there was something worth cheering over. That something was Walter Johnson, who made his major league debut on August 2, 1907 for the Washington Senators.

The early 20th century “Nats” didn’t always give you much to cheer for either. But they did win the World Series. And they did have one of the most dominant pitchers ever to play the game on their team.

Your Maximum Leader looked up some of Johnson’s stats. He didn’t realize that Johnson was a career .235 hitter with 24 home runs, 255 RBI, and 13 stolen bases. That is pretty respectable for a pitcher. Those numbers do pale in comparison to 417 career wins and a lifetime ERA of 2.17 (and nearly 6000 innings pitched!). But those offensive numbers are something you don’t see every day.

Carry on.

General Sports update

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader sees that so much is going on in the world of sports. Of course, none of these goings on seem to benefit any team that your Maximum Leader cares much about…

In baseball, the trade deadline has passed and his beloved Nationals have done nothing to better themselves. On the one hand it is understandable. They are 21 games out of first place in the NL East. That pretty much makes this season a moot one. But one (okay… Your Maximum Leader is the one) could have hoped that they might do something to bring a little offence to town. Or they could have decided not to trade away their (defacto) closer to Arizona. The Nats games get harder and harder to watch, but your Maximum Leader continues to suffer through in the hopes that the Nats can be a spoiler in the NL East race. Since the race is down to the Mets, Phillies and Marlins the winner of the division will likely be decided by which team can beat the Nats more during the stretch. Your Maximum Leader will hope that the Nats show some signs of life and don’t just roll over and die (any more than they already have).

In other baseball news… Manny to the Dodgers. Jason Bay to the Sawx. Wow. Didn’t see that one coming until it happened. Manny had grown tired of Boston - and Boston had grown weary of him. It makes sense really. Manny didn’t want Boston to exercise their options to keep him (so that he could get a bigger deal from someone else). But to do it in the classless way the Manny did it is sad. One hopes that teams would shy away from someone who could basically give up on his team to make a point. But, since Manny is someone who can produce when he wants to, someone will pay him. The Sawx have probably made out pretty well by getting Bay.

In more baseball news… Have you seen those LA Angels play. They just seem to be putting the smackdown on everyone. First the Sawx. Now the Yankees. Eeee! They are looking pretty damned strong right now. One wonders if they can keep it up down the stretch.

And finally… Your Maximum Leader is a Green Bay Packers fan. He is also a huge Brett Favre fan. But now the story is getting on his nerves. Your Maximum Leader hopes that Favre will stay retired. If he does not, the Packers should try and trade him to an AFC team - or at least a non-NFC North team. Your Maximum Leader isn’t sure what the hell Brett is thinking when he seems to want to go to Minnesota. You can’t go giving the Vikings a QB when they are a division rival. That is plain ole stupid. At this point, your Maximum Leader just hope the whole thing will just go away…

Carry on.

Note to self… No buses in Canada

Greeting, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is making a note to himself. The note says don’t take a long distance bus trip in Canada. If you do you might be snoozing on the bus and one of the other passengers suddenly decides to stab you and cut off your head with a hunting knife.

Really… It happened.

Your Maximum Leader supposes that he understands the immedate reaction of the other passengers and bus driver to flee the bus and get away from the killer. But at some point wouldn’t you think that someone ought to have tried to intercede before the attack got to the severed head stage? Your Maximum Leader doesn’t know how he would have responded if he were there. But it appears as though only after the bus was cleared did the driver and some others go back in to try and stop the attacker.

Awful stuff.

Carry on.

Do Llamas really drink Port?

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maxmium Leader sees one item very worthy of note today in the blogosphere. Our good buddy Robbo is setting up a new blog.

Loyal minions… Your Maximum Leader directs your attention to: The Port Stands at your Elbow.

As Robbo is a good friend of ours and an all around fine fellow… His blog is immediately added over on the blogroll… Indeed, he retains “Loyal Minion” status.

Robbo writes two thoughtful posts (one on the Llamabutchers site and on on The Port Stands at your Elbow) that deserve a bit of reading and thought by bloggers who “share a blog.”

As there are a number of people who have the rights to blog here, in the broadest sense, this is a “group blog.” But, even though these people are your Maximum Leader’s closest friends, Naked Villainy is really your Maximum Leader’s blog. He does retain complete autocratic control over it - but he hopes he’s a benevolent autocrat. And over the past few months, when this blog has been updated, it has been your Maximum Leader doing the updating… So practically, this is your Maximum Leader’s blog.

Your Maximum Leader understands the need to feel like you have a place all your own. He has an office at the Villainschloss over which Mrs Villain exerts no control. He always gets his own way in the Villainmobile. And insofar as blogs go, he knows that what he wants he gets at Naked Villainy. Your Maximum Leader does understand why Robbo would feel the need to have a place where he feels he can fully be himself.

But enough about your Maximum Leader…

Of course, your Maximum Leader recognizes that Robbos schismatic nature (now revealed) might have to put him on a watch list when the Mike World Order comes…

Seriously. Your Maximum Leader knows that he will continue to enjoy the Llamabutchers site. And he will enjoy Robbo’s solo site. (He’s already enjoyed what he’s read. And he curses himself for forgetting about the birthday of General George Henry Thomas - who has rapidly become your Maximum Leader’s favorite Civil War figure.)

Your Maximum Leader wishes Robbo the best of luck in his solo endeavours.

Carry on.

Obama/Kaine in ‘08?

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader sees on the news, in the Washington Post, and on local radio that Virginia Governor Tim Kaine seems to be on the short list of potential Vice-Presidential picks for Barack Obama. (The WaPo article is pretty good. It is located here if you want to clicky the linky.)

Is your Maximum Leader the only one who thinks that Tim Kaine is not a good choice? Allow your Maximum Leader to throw out a few ideas/statements/thougths-that-occured-to-him.

First off… If Obama should win the presidency (50% chance your Maximum Leader thinks) then Tim Kaine moves out of Richmond and into DC. In that case, Bill Bolling (a conservative Republican) becomes Governor of VA. That would boost the chances of the Republican party taking (retaining in this senario) the Governors Mansion in 2009. That thought should appeal to your Maximum Leader… But for some reason it doesn’t. Why doesn’t it?

Well funny you should ask…

Secondly, what has Tim Kaine done as Governor of Virginia? Your Maximum Leader (who did not vote for the Governor) is lukewarm on Tim Kaine as Governor. He can’t think of a single initiative that the Governor has gotten passed in the legislature. He can’t think of a “signature” issue of the Governor. Indeed, your Maximum Leader is remarkably ambivilent towards Tim Kaine. He just seems to be the Governor and is keeping things going. If your Maximum Leader, a Virginia resident and observer of things political, can’t tell you what Tim Kaine has done as Governor that is a bad sign.

So… If a Virginia resident can’t tell you something his own sitting Governor has done for the Commonwealth what exactly does he bring to a national ticket?

That is the issue here. What could Tim Kaine bring to the ticket? Your Maximum Leader doesn’t think that putting Kaine on the ticket would surely bring Virginia into the Democratic fold. It would be a damned close run thing. But by no means a sure thing. Also, your Maximum Leader isn’t sure that Kaine translates well into more southern states. Kaine is not the “good ole boy” type that people in the South might identify with. Kaine seems like a nice guy - but he isn’t on your Maximum Leader’s long list of people he’d like to have dinner and drinks with.

Tim Kaine has youth. Kaine has (some) executive experience. Kaine talked a good game about “change” during his run for the Governorship 3 years ago. But if Barack Obama thinks that Tim Kaine is a dynamic leader with whom he can change the nation (and the world!) he has got another thing coming. Tim Kaine would be a lackluster pick at best. And at worst, choosing Kaine would just reinforce Obama’s negatives (ie: not appealing to blue collar whites, inexperienced, all hat and no cattle, etc).

If Obama is going to choose a Virginian as a running mate he needs to convince Mark Warner (former Governor of VA) to stop running for the US Senate and to hop on the ticket. Mark Warner is well regarded, experienced, and could actually bring the Virginia into the Democratic fold in November.

But wisely, Mark Warner continues to move towards taking a seat in the US Senate - and is putting his own presidential ambitions on hold for a while.

Frankly… If you Maximum Leader were advising Barack Obama on a Veep pick (which of course he is not) the advice would be this: pick Dick Gephart, Joe Biden, or Sam Nunn. He needs some experience on the ticket with him He also needs accomplishment. Any one of those prominent Democrats would bring Obama experience and accomplishments. If Barack Obama is serious about change, he needs to have a VP who knows how things work in DC and how to get things done.

Of course, those three choices aren’t fun or glamorous…

Your Maximum Leader feels that if Barack Obama chooses Tim Kaine as his running mate; your Maximum Leader’s opinion that Barack Obama isn’t qualified for the office he seeks will be confirmed. It is a bad decision that belies a tendency to make other bad decisions.

Carry on.

Villain quiz

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader saw a little quiz over on Dead Sexy Sadie’s site. It appealed to him. So he took it and was pleased with the results.


Find out Which Movie Villain Are You at LiquidGeneration.com!

Your Maximum Leader doesn’t think of himself as a whiney beyatch like Anakin Skywalker was. But after Anakin became Darth Vader his whiney-beyatchness really went away… Your Maximum Leader likes to think of it as “growing up.”

Carry on.

Greatest Hits…

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader received an email from a long-time reader… The reader wanted to know when your Maximum Leader wrote a particular post about 10 things the US could do to really make the world hate us…

Well… That post goes back to September 20, 2005. For your reading edification… Here it is reprinted in full…

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader was in the Villainmobile and chanced to come across some radio program from the Beeb about how the rest of the world views the United States. The real title of the program ought to have been called “More mindless people spouting off about why they hate the US.”

So… Your Maximum Leader would like to humbly suggest ten (count ‘em 10) policy changes that would give legitimate reasons for the rest of the world to hate us. Here we go:

1) Stop exporting drugs. All those great drugs US pharmaceutical companies make? From now on they are for Americans only. We would, of course, have to destroy all the drug factories built by US companies around the world… But hey, you gotta break a few eggs…

2) Stop allowing immigrants (legal and illegal) to come to the US - unless they can demonstrably show that they can offer some tangible skill or talent to the nation.

2a) We continue to allow foreign exchange students into universities - on the condition that they never return to their native land. Thus making the “brain-drain” problem even worse.

3) Implement a true “you have it, we want it, we take it” foreign policy. Suppose we need more oil. We invade your country and take it. We pay nothing for it. We kill as many people as we need to in order to get it. Then we leave. This policy also goes for gold, silver, uranium, sheep, apes, elephants, coconuts, bananas, exotic hot chicks, whatever really. We can get really whimsical on this one… Maybe one day Congress decides we need a national “schnitzel day.” The night before, we invade Germany and/or Austria and take all the schnitzel we can lay our hands on…

5) Stop all foreign aid. Not a big deal really (to us). We don’t give much foreign aid as it is. After all, we know the UN thinks we’re “stingy.”

6) Take back the Internet.

7) Jam all non-American TV shows from being broadcast anywhere in the world.

8 ) Offer the UK, Australia, and Israel statehood. That way they can partake in all the fun we’ll have! Everyone knows they’re nothing but US stooges anyway!

9) We build a huge solar shade and randomly position it for weeks at a time over other nations. Thereby plunging them into darkness and chaos. We only move the shade to another randomly selected nation if we get a big sappy Hallmark card signed by everyone in the affected country saying how much they really like us and are sorry they forgot to wish us a happy 4th of July. (Nations that send a $25 Wal-Mart gift card to every registered US voter in addition to the sappy card will get a guarantee that we’ll not park the solar shade over their country for at least 1 calendar year.)

10) First, put a whole bunch of nasty neutron bombs on satellites. Then start a new season of “Survivor.” The season will be entitled “Survivor: The 3rd World.” Multinational teams from all over the 3rd world will compete against each other. Teams will seek to win contests and earn “immunity.” Losing teams will have to vote off one team member. The contestant voted off will be summarily executed and his nation bombed indiscriminately. Eventually the one surviving contestant will be given $1 million (US) and his nation given Commonwealth status. (Just like Puerto Rico!)

If we make these simple policy changes then, truly, the rest of the world might have a legitimate reason to hate us.

There you have it. Perhaps not as fresh as it was 3 years ago… But one or two of these still brought a smile to your Maximum Leader’s face.

Carry on.

Maturity coming?

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has noticed something recently. He isn’t sure what is happening, but he suspects that is has something to do with maturity.

He’s been noticing that he’s been thinking to himself how damned attractive Nancy Travis and Gabrielle Anwar are. He’s found himself watching “The Bill Engval Show” on TBS (Mrs Villain likes it - your Maximum Leader thinks it is okay, but Nancy Travis makes some of the tired writing okay…) and “Burn Notice” on USA. Nancy Travis - google tells your Maximum Leader - is 47 years old. Gabrielle Anwar is 37. Travis has two kids. Anwar - 3. Neither appear to be silly bimbos that you find on gossip sites all the time.

Humm… Could this be a sign of your Maximum Leader growing more mature and stodgy?

No need to answer that… Your Maximum Leader already knows the answer…

Carry on.

DVR

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is pissed again… He now has yet another new DVR/HD cable box. The cable company just brought it by.

Perhaps it is the dwarves slaving away under the Villainschloss… Perhaps it is the electrical storms… But your Maximum Leader has lost three previous DVR/HD cable boxes in the past two months…

He is getting a bit pissed off at having to reprogram all the shows to record into the new boxes…

Of course… There aren’t that many shows he’s recording in fact. Right now set to be recorded are: Chelsea Lately, Penn & Teller’s Bullshit, Burn Notice, The Simpsons, Scrubs, 30 Rock, and any episode of Sherlock Holmes mysteries on PBS.

Your Maximum Leader really likes Burn Notice by the way. It has Bruce Campbell. That is a big plus. Gabrielle Anwar is pretty damned hot. And the stories are fun to watch.

By the way… This is mostly for Robbo… The Musgrave Ritual episode was on PBS last night. Your Maximum Leader had forgotten how insane the housekeeper looked in this episode…

Carry on.

He’s got that going for him.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has enjoyed himself by watching the news this week. On the one hand you have the carefully scripted foreign tour of Barack Obama. On the other, you have the not-so-scripted voyages around our great republic by John McCain.

Frankly, your Maximum Leader can’t make out what seems to be happening this week. Obama has been getting positively gooey (and your Maximum Leader means gooey in the best way possible) news coverage. He’s looked pretty presidential. He’s had lots of fun photo-ops with all manner of fun people. (Your Maximum Leader is waiting for pix of Obama and Carla Bruni Sarkozy from this Paris leg of the trip. Carla Bruni Sarkozy is a fine female specimen.) Your Maximum Leader would have expected some small bounce in “the polls” to materialize for Obama. This doesn’t seem to be happening. Your Maximum Leader suspects that at some level people are thinking (to themselves at any rate) that Obama is rushing out to get photo-ops and nothing more. McCain doesn’t need those photo ops. McCain has been making the rounds in Europe and the Middle East for decades.

Could it be that at some level Obama’s trip is back-handedly helping McCain? Could Obama’s trip be seen as somewhat craven and pandering? Your Maximum Leader isn’t sure that this is exactly what is happening; but it would explain the steady polling of the week.

By the way… Speaking of meeting interesting folks on the campaign trail… John McCain met with the Dali Lama today. Your Maximum Leader isn’t sure, but he was pretty sure that he heard the Dali Lama tell John McCain something to the effect of “Gunga. Gunga-galunga.” If this is the case, even if John McCain doesn’t become president he can rest easy knowing that on his deathbed he’ll receive total consciousness.

Carry on.

More on Batman, and a big waste of time…

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader wants to do two things in this post. First, comment some more on “The Dark Knight.” And second, blog about a big ole (yet sorta fun) waste of time he just completed earlier this week.

To begin! “The Dark Knight.” Your Maximum Leader is still thinking about the film. It is that memorable. To address a few items left by various commenters on the preceeding post… For our good friend Brian, the Bruce Wayne as playboy/fop or brooding millionaire… Your Maximum Leader might be missing some nuance of your description. He has felt that the best Bruce Wayne was Michael Keaton. Keaton’s Bruce Wayne was the sort of absent-minded yet innocuous rich guy. Christian Bale pulls this much more towards the young rake of a rich man. Not foppish, but very self-centered and self-indulgent. (In “The Dark Knight” a ballet performance is cancelled because Bruce decided to take the whole ballet troupe with him on his private yacht for a little woo-pitching.) Your Maximum Leader thinks that Bale’s Bruce Wayne works well with the alter-ego of Batman. Without attempting to get all Tarantino here, is Bruce Wayne the “act” or is Batman the “act?” Which is the real “essence” of the man? Your Maximum Leader thinks that for the purposes of these movies Batman is the real man - and Bruce Wayne has devolved into the cover story. In a way, Bruce Wayne, the rich playboy is someone we can identify with. We see plenty of rich celebs all over teevee and the interwebs. We want to see Batman. So, in the end your Maximum Leader doesn’t think that “The Dark Knight” will do much to change one’s impression of the Bruce Wayne side of this character. Wayne is essentially a minor subplot.

Your Maximum Leader finds Ellison’s comment interesting. The interesting part is this: What amazes me is that a movie this good was made with DC characters. Maybe Marvel doesn’t have the monopoly on three-dimensional heroes and villains with a backstory. Perhaps after years away from the genre, he is having trouble with the idea that Marvel comics always had the more developed characters. Your Maximum Leader’s years of reading comic books were in the 80s and into the 90s. This was the age of Millers “Dark Knight” reinvention of the Batman story. (And it was the era of “The Watchmen” (soon to be a major motion picture - and still a fantastic comic book). It could be that the comics in which your Maximum Leader indulged were all well written and well developed. So he’s never thought that DC lacked for good characters. It could also be that the movies based on the DC characters have lacked good screenwriters…

Anyhoo… Moving on from movies…

Your Maximum Leader, on Wednesday night, decided to check in to see if his Blogger/Blogspot logins worked. (They did.) He then did something that he’s never done before. (But perhaps you have…)

On the left side of the Blogger main page there is a little rotating spot showing the names of blogs that have recently been updated. Your Maximum Leader doesn’t believe he’s ever clicked on that link before. But Weds. night he clicked through on any blog name that he thought sounded interesting. He did this for 1 hour. He rarely had to wait more than 30-40 seconds for an interesting sounding blog title to appear. Just for the record, he didn’t click on any purely numerical blog titles. In fact, here is a list of blog title “types” he didn’t click on: all numeric, chinese/japanese/asian characters, any blog title that was a song lyric, any blog title that was “businessey” sounding, anything written in “3l33t.”

So there…

He was surprised at how many innocuous blog names just linked you to pages that were obviously set up just to improve someone’s web site search results. There were also a number of blogs that were really fronts for dating sites. Your Maximum Leader was surprised at the dearth of porn sites. In 1 hour he probably only saw 5 or six blatantly pornographic titles appear as links - and only clicked on two that were not blatantly porn but were instead funny and suggestive.

Well… Over the course of 1 hour there were only three blogs worthy of note. Here they are.

A Very Creepy Blog. A blog dedicated to discussion of the art and articles of the horror magazines of the 1970s and 1980s. Your Maximum Leader was a “Creepy” and “Vampirella” reader back in the day.

Smells Like Grape. A wine review site.

I write it, you skim it. A personal blog with some rather interesting posts. Some neat links too. Including this one: Barack Obama is your new bicycle. Barack Obama is not your Maximum Leader’s new bicycle, but he is the new bicycle to so many people…

Your Maximum Leader might play this little game of Blogger update again some time…

Carry on.

    About Naked Villainy

    • maxldr

    Villainous
    Contacts

    • E-mail your villainous leader:
      "maxldr-blog"-at-yahoo-dot-com or
      "maximumleader"-at-nakedvillainy-dot-com

    • Follow us on Twitter:
      at-maximumleader

    • No really follow on
      Twitter. I tweet a lot.

    Other Directives

    • Entries (RSS)
    • Comments (RSS)
    • WordPress database error: [Table 'wp_options' is marked as crashed and should be repaired]
      SELECT option_value FROM wp_options WHERE option_name = 'siteurl' LIMIT 1

      Login
Naked Villainy… Now in our new more snarky formula!

    Villainous Commerce

    Villainous Sponsors

      • Get your link here.

      Villainous Search