Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader will let this article speak for itself. Putin Takes Bush’s Side Against Democrats on Iraq.

Carry on.

To use the Napoleonic Wars as romantic allegory.

Gentlemen, I give you Bananarama:

My my (my my) at Waterloo Napoleon did surrender,
Oh yeah (oh yeah) and I have met my destiny in quite a similar way:
The history book on the shelf
Is always repeating itself.

Waterloo,
I was defeated, you won the war,
Waterloo,
Promise to love you for ever more;
Waterloo,
Couldn’t escape if I wanted to,
Waterloo,
Knowing my fate is to be with you,
Woh-woh-woh-woh-Waterloo,
Finally facing my Waterloo.

My my (my my) I tried to hold you back but you were stronger,
Oh yeas (oh yeah) and now it seems my only chance is giving up the fight,
And how could I ever refuse,
I feel like I win when I lose.

Waterloo,
I was defeated, you won the war,
Waterloo,
Promise to love you for ever more;
Waterloo,
Couldn’t escape if I wanted to,
Waterloo,
Knowing my fate is to be with you,
Woh-woh-woh-woh-Waterloo,
Finally facing my Waterloo.

And how could I ever refuse,
I feel like I win when I lose.

Waterloo,
Couldn’t escape if I wanted to,
Waterloo,
Knowing my fate is to be with you;
Woh-woh-woh-woh-Waterloo,
Finally facing my Waterloo,
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh,
Waterloo,
Knowing my fate is to be with you,
Woh-woh-woh-woh-Waterloo,
Finally facing my Waterloo.

UPDATE FROM YOUR MAXIMUM LEADER: Bannanarama!?!?!?! Try Abba. After the Abba version (or should your Maximum Leader say versions?) all others are pretenders.

BigHo is at post 999. Do I steal the 1000th post? I want to, but it just seems wrong.

I don’t know how one would determine the best words ever written, but I would nominate the following exerpt from the Declaration of Independence.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. –That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, –That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.

More to the point, I just felt like reading it into the record.

Brigitte Bardot’s in trouble for inciting hatred of Muslims. What did she do? She called Muslims “invaders, cruel and barbaric” in a book. And for this, she was CONVICTED of inciting racial hatred.

In America, to get her convicted, Muslims would have to go to court and prove that they aren’t “invaders, cruel and barbaric.” I mean, what if they actually are “invaders, cruel and barbaric”? Then it’s not exactly fair to the geriatric sex kitten, is it?

I quote

“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”

Freedom of Speech. What a concept. Even for morons.

To read more about why the US is better than France, click here, here and here.

Regarding that last post… I don’t know what medications the doctor put you on for that injury, but it’s about time to stop taking them. They’re imparing your ability to drive a blog.

Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader warns you all do no let him near farm animals… Before the Big Hominid left for Korea he called your Maximum Leader and asked for a favour. Of course, he is your Maximum Leader’s dear friend; so the favour was granted. Little did your Maximum Leader know that the favour was to borrow a division of dwarves to come to the Hominid’s Hovel and destroy the army of mutant farm animals that had spawned from the Hominid’s bowels! Your Maximum Leader was horrified. It was worst than anything one could imagine on the island of Dr. Moreau. It was even more horrifying than that one episode of the Simpsons when Dr. Hibbert had an island…

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Carry on.

Luckily for everyone’s farm animals, I’m not currently on a schedule (have been off my weekly schedule since I moved), and probably won’t return to scheduled blogging until I’ve got DSL service from my domicile, wherever that might be eventually. So post at will, fellow minions!

(I wouldn’t mind getting to know some of the Smallholder’s cows better, though. Cows have really long tongues. Mmmmmm.)

_

Be careful diverging from the weekly categories. He gets downright nasty. He’s been known to kick little old women in the knee, take candy from babies, and drop kick cute puppies as retaliation for those who post on the wrong day.

Better lock up your farm animals if you decide to do this.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader likes Frank J.’s stuff. He instructs you to go and read The Charge of the Ronin. It made your Maximum Leader’s day.

Carry on.

Has anyone noticed that the Big Hominid has been a bit less prolific (or even profligate?) lately? He might claim that he is in the middle of a move and a job search, but methinks that he is simply building up to a megapost for his 1,000th blog entry. He is currently on post 992.

I’m sure he has a scarily philosophical, scatological, meditative, and even demented cartoon epic up his sleave to celebrate post 1000.

Little does he know that I’ll be lurking in the shadows, ready to post an insipid and inane single sentence. The sentence will have nothing to do with his vaunted posting regimin. In fact, it won’t fit into his daily categories at all. Perhaps something about Vitus Bering.

Heh.

UPDATE FROM YOUR MAXIMUM LEADER: Somthing about this Smallholder post is causing site problems. So alas, your Maximum Leader felt he had to delete the content. Let it suffice to say that the Minister of Agriculture took the Polygeek test and scored only 25% geek. Your Maximum Leader also took it, and scored 30% geek. If you, my minions, would like to take the test, the URL remains below.

Carry on.

Take the Polygeek Quiz at Thudfactor.com

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has always been a great admirer of the Battle Hymn of the Republic. Your Maximum Leader suggests you read over those lyrics and think about them. Strong stong words.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader agrees with David Frum’s assessment of letting Bill Clinton speak at Reagan’s funeral. If Clinton wants to speak, your Maximum Leader thinks he should be allowed to. Alas, his speech would likely be the most moving, as he is the best speaker among our living ex-Presidents (and frankly, our President). If you want to read Frum’s assessment: David Frum’s Diary on National Review Online

Carry on.

Idly clicking on our villainous profiles, I discovered that you can click on interests to see if anyone else has them in their profiles. Kind of neat.

First off, why am I the only one in the blogosphere who has “Mad Dog and Glory” in profile. You are all a bunch of philistines.

Secondly, I came across an interesting fact; all but one of the bloggers who like “Big Trouble in Little China” are men. Go figure. But one cool chick does list the Rob and I’s movie: Jess of The Lunchbox Assassin. And then I notice that she lives in Hollywood. The yentl in me is working overtime.

I just did a quick scan of her blog. She’s got some talent, has a theatre background, and, as an added bonus, throws in a visual reference to Lumbergh.

Heh. Go read, minions.

Update from your Maximum Leader: The Minister of Propaganda and the Foreign Minister really ought to complete their profiles… Hint. Hint.