Campaign 2k+4

Elie Wiesel writes a great Op Ed piece on the tone of this campaign. I think most of us here fall into the categories that Wiesel writes about.

I don’t consider, nor have I ever considered, myself a Democrat, yet when I look at Bush2, he inspires a flood of negative emotions in me that no political candidate has before. I have categorically refused to stand behind Kerry, because I don’t really think he’s a great candidate, and I don’t think he’ll be a great President. For me, the election is a referendum on Bush, and Bush has already failed. I find Kerry disappointing, yet only mildly offensive, so he’ll do for the “anti-Bush”.

I have yet to hear a defense of Bush that doesn’t turn into either Clinton bashing or Kerry bashing. I’ve even heard Bush justified in that a second Bush term would hurt Hillary’s chances in ‘08. My wifes uncle lives in mortal fear of a Hillary Presidency to the point that it is the overriding issue in determining who he votes for.

I respect that Foreign Minister feels otherwise than I do. Sometimes it seems that you could reverse the names above, and that would give you the basic Conservative voters feelings. My Father in Law is a combat veteran of Vietnam, and his hatred of Kerry knows no bounds. He will parrot the latest internet rumors as reasons Kerry is loathsome, and when those rumors prove false, it doesn’t matter. He’ll move on to the next rumor. When I question Bush’s ability in front of him, I get a blank stare, then profanity directed at Kerry. I find it amusing that a native of Massachusetts who lives in Maryland can be so conservative. At least he has a sense f humor about that.

But both candidates are extremely deficient in their handling of the campaign. The US economy is not doing well, unemployment is too high, we have domestic issues that need addressing, the War against Terror has stalled, and Iraq is turning into a mess. I want to hear these issues addressed, not just questioning each others patriotism. Bush’s defense of his record is absurd, and Kerry has pretty much told us jack about what he would do.

The Boomer generation has given us Clinton, Bush2, Gore, Kerry, Cheney etc. Bill Mahr said that in ‘96 he voted for Dole over Clinton because he felt that a Boomer he agreed with was worse than a WWII vet he disagreed with, and he felt it was the last chance we had to get a member of the Greatest Generation to lead us. He expressed fear over the capabilities of Boomers to lead, and fear that the ideology over pragmatism that marks that generation would lead to venomous partisanship. I guess he was right.

Slant, Post, what the heck?

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader knows the Slant is often called a Post play. He just likes calling it a Slant. Hey! Madden and Al Michaels both called it a Slant last night. (And your Maximum Leader thinks that as recently as the Madden Football 2001 game the play was stil called a Slant.) We all knew what they were talking about.

And your Maximum Leader will agree with the AirMarshal that running between the tackles is critical to establishing the ground game. If you can’t run up the middle you likely can’t run at all. Your Maximum Leader was just offering up that he really likes the Sweep. It is a fun play to watch as it matriculates on the field.

And speaking of running up the middle… Your Maximum Leader was pleasantly amused at the shock that Mrs. Villain had last night upon hearing Madden declare that Packers DT Grady Jackson’s replacement, Cullen Jenkins, was undersized. Jackson weighs about 340lbs; Jenkins a mere 292lbs. Mrs. Villain could hardly imagine a 6′3″ 292lb man being called “undersized.” (FYI, your Maximum Leader is 6′3″ and about 235ish.) Your Maximum Leader tried to remember when the various offensive/defensive linesmen regularly started to top 300lbs? Was it around 1991?

Anyway, Jenkins played a good game. Even if he is undersized. Give that boy some more power-shakes and a few steak dinners and he’ll be okay.

Carry on.

Response to ML’s Football post

The Slant (or Post, depending) is a nice play, I’ll grant you, as is the power sweep. But they aren’t the best offensive plays in football. I will educate you.

The best running play in football is a power running in between the tackles. Do that effectively, and you own the game. If you can’t do that, all the sweeps in the world won’t work. In the Skins system this is “40 gut” or “50 gut”. But the real reason that a verticle running game is so great is that it sets up the best play in football…

The play action pass. When it works, this is great. Witness the Panthers first play from scrimmage last night. Fake the hand off to Stephen Davis, and then go long. The Pack’s linebackers all bit, and that left Muhammed wide open for a 20 yard gain, and got the Panthers away from the endzone. Yes, some QB’s can’t pull it off, but those who can benefit tremendously.Granted, the play action pass is only effective if used sparingly. Most teams overuse it today, and it loses it’s effectiveness. The Pack are quite good at this.

Go figure, though, that ML’s favorite plays (and terminology) are conservative and 40 years old.

As for last nights game, why the hell did the Panters give up on running Stephen Davis? this lost them the game. It lost them the SuperBowl too. Reminiscent of the Titans against the Rams. The Titans didn’t run Eddie George, and this neutralized their ability to move the ball, control the clock and win the game.

And as for 8-9 wins for the Skins, that would be a downer. If Parcells could take the bunch of losers in Dallas to a 10 win season last year, 10 wins is the bar that Gibbs has in front of him. Coupled with what appears to be an easy schedule, 10 wins is achievable. The Division is probably out of reach because the Eagles are the team to beat in the NFC. The Eagles will have home field advantage in the NFC, and the road to the SuperBowl unfortunately goes through Philly. But the Skins have a shot as a Wild Card, and a 10 win season.

UPDATE FROM YOUR MAXIMUM LEADER: Winning 10 games will be hard for the Skins. Your Maximum Leader isn’t convinced hey have the lineup needed to be serious contenders for the playoffs. And Philly and Dallas are in the same Division. When El Grande Ahi took the Cowboys to 10 wins they didn’t have as much competition as will the Skins. Your Maximum Leader is still thinking 8-9 wins. But if he remembers a conversation with the Minister of Agriculture; the Smallholder thought that 10 wins were possible.

Football

I’d imagine that ML will chime in on the Packers at some point, so I won’t say anything about the Monday night game, except to say that it’s nice that the requisite nasty leg break is out of the way early this year.

It looks like the NYGiants are having problems. I love it. When the coach is a sphincter, there’s only so much you can do. I love this part…

While he was in Jacsonville, Coughlin’s rules included no slouching in meetings; no bending over or kneeling on the field; no removing of the helmet or unbuckling of the chin strap; and no tape on the outside of shoes during practices or games. He barred sunglasses on the sideline, even for coaches.

or this part

In January 1999, before a playoff game against New England, Jaguars rookies Cordell Taylor and Tavian Banks were a half-hour late for a team meeting after being in an auto accident on their way to the team hotel. A Jaguars official picked up the players and they were taken to a hospital later that night. Coughlin fined them $500 each.

The big stink currently is that players are being fined for not showing up EARLY ENOUGH for meetings. That’s fine. Apparantly Vince Lombardi used to set his watch 10 minutes fast and players would have to keep up with him. As far as I’m concerned if Coughlin says “the meeting starts at 2:30″ but tells his players they have to be there 5 minutes early, who cares. It’s stupid to just not say “The meeting starts at 2:25″, but ultimately the player knows to be there at 2:25.

But it’s easy to see that the stink over meeting times is just the latest log on the fire. Just like Marty Crappenheimer when he was the Skins coach a few years ago.

Thank God Coach “Joe” Gibbs is back.

Hail to the Redskins

Football Recap

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader, regrettably, didn’t get to watch much football this weekend. He was out with family most of Sunday. He did catch the New England game on Thursday night. (Mrs. Villain is a big New England fan.) The game showed that the Patriots are serious about getting to the Super Bowl again this year. The addition of Corey Dillon added another weapon to Belichek’s arsenal that he seems (so far at least) to be using sparingly. Probably a wise move. Keep the other coach guessing. (Of course it could also be a sign that Belichek hasn’t fully updated his playbook to include plays made for a stud running back.)

Your Maximum Leader, in addition to following the exploits of New England for Mrs Villain, also enjoys Redskins games. He grew up in the greater DC area and considers himself something of a fan. (Though not to the extent of the AirMarshal and Smallholder.) He heard some of the Redskins game on the radio while in the car with family. From that description and tv highlights, it would appear as though the Skins could win about 8-9 games this year. It would be a good start for the return of Joe Gibbs.

It was last night that gave your Maximum Leader great joy. As many readers know, your Maximum Leader is a big Green Bay fan. Last night’s game was great. Favre was in good form and his thumb didn’t seem to be bothering him too much. How long he can keep his thumb healthy is up for debate. But the real power of the Packers game now is Ahman Green. Their strong running game is their power.

Your Maximum Leader believes firmly that a strong running game can still win you championships. This year, as John Madden said over and over last night, the Packers will use the run to set up the passing game. Which is as it should be. While your Maximum Leader has high hopes for the Pack, he isn’t sure that they can make it to the Super Bowl. The competition from Philly will be intense in the NFC. And both Indianapolis and New England are looking strong in the AFC.

And on a final note. Your Maximum Leader saw a number of really really fine slant plays last night. Both the Panthers and Packers executed very well on a number of slants in the 2nd and 3rd Quarters. The slant is probably your Maximum Leader’s favourite passing play. It highlights the need for speed and strength in your wide recievers or tight ends. The receiver always takes a beating when the secondary catches up to him, but if it is done right you can pick up a few yards.

But, being a traditionalist, your Maximum Leader’s all-time favourite play is a running play. It is the old power sweep. Your Maximum Leader just loves the power sweep. Pulling the extra blockers off the line, spreading out the defence, and creating that seam for the running back. It is a beauty to behold.

Ahhh… Football…

Carry on.

More on Tunis

The Maximum Leader will have no use for this article (it being about that silly science), but the rest of our readers might want to read about the genetic research being done on Tunis sheep. You have to register, but registration is free.

You Go Vladimir!!

Putin Tightens Grip on Power in Russia (From the Washington Post).

Vladimir, Some next steps you might consider would be abolishing term limits for himself, giving yourself the right to appoint your successor. I would suggest also endowing your office with legislative authority. To compliment the executive power of pardons, you could also give the executive branch the power of arraignment, as well as execution of all criminal sentences (pun intended).

And while you are at it, Vladimir, how about a new title. President doesn’t really capture your spirit. Dictator? Tzar? You could go the Arab way, and call yourself Colonel.

And a warm water port would be nice. May I suggest invading Poland while you’re at it. Europes balls appear to be missing at the moment, this might be an opportune time to reclaim territory lost since 1989. Also, would anyone really notice if you took Mongolia? I didn’t think so. And Manchuria would also be a nice addition.

UPDATE FROM YOUR MAXIMUM LEADER:Wasn’t our friend Vladimir ACTUALLY a Colonel in the KGB? Major perhaps? No time to Google and find out…

A modest proposal.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader realizes that this election is going to be just as close as was the 2000 election. Every faction, every interest group, every possible individual voter is being targeted by the major parties as a potential source of support.

But one group has been overlooked by Democrats and Republicans alike.

One HUGE group.

Drunks.

Yes, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader said the overlooked interest group are Drunks. (Call them Drunks, Drunkards, Alchies, Boozers, self-pickelers it makes no difference.) This group of potential swing voters should not be overlooked by either campaign. With this in mind your Maximum Leader will make a modest proposal.

The other day over lunch a friend of your Maximum Leader suggested to him that during the Mike World Order DUI laws as well as speed limits should not be enforced between the hours of 2am and 5am Friday through Sunday.

This sounded like a novel idea to your Maximum Leader and he’s decided to run with it. Decent people shouldn’t be driving at those hours anyway.

So! Senator Kerry! President Bush! Increase the turnout of the Drunk Voter and move them into your camp by campaigning for a lifting of speed limits and DUI laws between 2am and 5am Friday through Sunday. It could be just the edge you need.

(And in light of tonight’s game - Go Packers!)

Carry on.

Smallholder Has Sheep!

Sweet Seasons Farm has acquired three Tunis sheep - an older ewe, a yearling ewe, and a ram lamb.

The Tunis breed was developed by George Washington using a ram given to him by the Bey of Tunis. They introduced greater heat tolerance and year-round fertility to southern flocks. They were a major breed in the South until the Civil War, but since most flocks were consumed by the armies during the “recent unpleasantness,” the Tunis is now considered a rare breed.

My main reason for getting sheep is to introduce an animal with a different grazing pattern into my rotation - hopefully this will help me achieve a more even grazing as I rotate the animals through my fields. I’m also doing my part to keep a rare breed from going extinct.

But I know that the Villainous Bloggers just want to crack “Smallholder has sheep” jokes. Fire away.

UPDATE FROM YOUR MAXIMUM LEADER: Humm… Now if offspring of these ewes start to bear a strange resemblance to the Smallholder we’ll start to worry.

UPDATE 2 FROM ML: It also seems as though those people running Mount Vernon have decided to populate the grounds of George Washington’s home with Hogg Island sheep.

UPDATE 3 FROM ML: Is the addition of sheep all about Bonnie being pregnant and you not finding her attractive any more?

UPDATE 4 FROM MOA: Since the Maximum Leader is Linkizing me (is that a word?) here is the homepage of the source of my sheep. You might even be able to see Woolly in thepicture.

UPDATE 5 FROM MOA: Is that all you’ve got on the sheep innuendo? Bring it on, smiley guys. I’m particularly disappointed that the MOP has not weighed in with a witticism. Perhaps the approach of November has rendered him humorless.

Double your fun!

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader can tell that you are looking to get really pissed tonight. Life got you down Mrs. Brown?

Well if you happen to be in Bristol (UK not CT) you might try some vapourized alcohol to suppliment your pint. Yes, you read your Maximum Leader correctly, vapourized alcohol.
Here is the whole story.

Many thanks to Neil for the link. (NB to Neil: Good shooting! It seems you can do anything at a Lotte world!)

Carry on.

Update:N.Korea Blast Probably Not Nuclear

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader reads that the blast in North Korea reported earlier was probably not nuclear.

Good to know. Now what was it?

Carry on.

UPDATE: Read Robert’s posts on this explosion. He is much closer to the story.

A proof!

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is well acquainted with the Minister of Agriculture’s love of science. With that in mind, your Maximum Leader will now produce a proof that will logically demonstrate some of the Smallholder’s behaviour.

Cows in fields discourage people from having sex in those fields.
Smallholder has felds with cows in them.
Smallholder is a person.
Smallholder doesn’t have sex in the fields with cows.

QED

Carry on.

North Korea Explosion

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader was just making a last check of the news wires and saw this: Report: Mushroom Cloud Seen After N.Korea Explosion.

It can’t be good news…

Carry on.

Regrettable Food

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader ruthlessly stole the title of this post from Lieks, but hey. When Rachel blogs about Hostess Twinkies Sushi what else can you say?

Your Maximum Leader has had fried Twinkies. They aren’t that bad really.

As for the Twinkie Sushi… Dried Mangos aren’t bad…

Carry on.

WWYMLD? George W. Bush edition

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader figured now was the time for some Maximum Leaderly advice for President Bush.

First off, enjoy the bounce Mr. President, it is not likely to last. Yes indeed. The recent surge in the polls around the nation for you is due to a confluence of factors. Of course the Convention in New York went remarkably well for you. It was, like so many Republican conventions past, staged wonderfully. Bravo. Your Maximum Leader doesn’t think that you can also discount a little Olypmic push there too. People were watching the Olympics and feeling sort of patriotic. People feeling patriotic make them like you a little more. And, of course, you can’t discount the effect of the Swift Boat Vets ads.

So, you are bouncing Mr. President. Where do you go now?

Well, don’t think this bounce is the beginning of a surge that will carry into a second term. It is, just as your Maximum Leader says, a confluence of factors that will likely fade as we move past the anniversary of September 11th. The Kerry campaign, and their myriad 527s (Moveon.org, Americans Coming Together, and Texans for Truth, etc., etc.) are going to be coming after you with all of their formidable resources. (Hey, all George Soros needs to do to finance a few million dollars worth of attack ads is short the dollar some more!)

So let us reexamine what has worked in the past that you need to continue doing. Mr. President, it looks like personally staying positive and reminding people that you are a strong and determined leader is a good move. Keep doing it. Limit your attacks to specific examples of Kerry flip-flops during his Senate career. Especially his flip-flops on defence issues. Keep up talking about those. Voting for war-spending, then voting against it…You know the line.

When people mention Vietnam, be sure to restate that Senator Kerry served honourably and with distinction and leave it at that. When people bring up your Guard service say that you are dismayed that some elements (never the Kerry Campaign) would try to pass off forged documents to gain a political advantage over you, and leave it at that.

You need to keep up appearances that make you look presidential. Lots of White House/Rose Garden cerimonies are good. Your staged campaign events are good too, but make sure you’re looking presidential. Your Maximum Leader realizes that you are more comfortable in a button-down shirt and jeans, but try more suits. When Kerry isn’t windsurfing or skiing or sailing he is wearing a suit. (At least the news seems to show him in suits more often than you.) Suits make you look more presidential.

Now, while you are out there looking presidential and strutting in your suit, what to do with all your allies?

Keep Cheney on the attack. He is a fighter. Your Maximum Leader likes that. (NB to Dick Cheney: Your Maximum Leader likes you. You will be rewarded greatly in the MWO. How does Archduke of Cheneyvia - aka: the territory formerly known as Wyoming, Idaho, Montana, North and South Dakota, Nebraska, and Oregon - sound to you?)

Yes, Cheney out there stirring up the base and tossing out the red-meat is a good thing. Get Lynne out there too. She is really good. A little softer around the edges and a bit more academic. But Lynne still packs a powerful rhetorical punch.

Your Maximum Leader also thinks that you should get Rudy Guiliani out on the stump with you in Pennsylvania and Ohio. Or send him on his own. Have him keep giving that Convention speech. It is a real crowd pleaser. Rudy is a real crowd pleaser. And have Rudy campaign for you out on Long Island and in upstate NY too. Make Kerry feel he has to work for New York too. (Your Maximum Leader doesn’t think you can win New York, but if Kerry is going to make you work for Virginia and North Carolina - make him work for New York.)

Your Maximum Leader would also put John McCain and Governor Ah-nold together on the campaign trail for you in Arizona, New Mexico and Florida. (Hell, send Rudy to Florida too… All those former New Yorkers would love him.)

Mr. President, run lots of positive ads in the “Morning in America” vein. Keep saying the economy is improving. (It is.) And with George W. Bush at the helm the future is bright. Remind people that with the exception of 7 quarters (four in 1991-1992 and three from 2000-2001) the American economy has grown since Ronald Reagan’s tax cuts of the early 1980s. Wrapping yourself in a little of the Gipper’s posthumous economic glow can’t hurt you. Keep pushing to make your tax cuts permanent, but go a little easier on the spending side of things. While most Americans don’t understand the long-term effects of the deficits; most remember Ross Perot harping on it in 1992 and feel that they should be concerned about the deficit. In a pinch, forget about talking about reducing the deficit. It is a boring non-starter to a quick political conversation - and will not win you many votes. If you can get Kerry to talk about it a lot - do so. Then hammer him on all his support of spending in his years in the Senate and his opposition to tax cuts.

Now, you also need to hope for a little good luck to come your way in the 527 department. The Democrats have a huge (stupendously huge in fact) advantage over you in this department. You need to hope that some more rich Republican’s with a little political savvy form some 527’s and pound Kerry on any part of his record/past they can. (Hope, since you can’t legally encourage any.) You should hope that some Republican 527s have political savvy because you don’t want any backlash from some really opstreperous or tasteless ads. But, that is a risk you run. History tells us that people might be upset at you for “allowing”harsh negative ads to run; but the damage hurts Kerry more.

The big hurdle for you Mr. President will be the debates. Your Maximum Leader thinks you should go ahead and have three. He knows your people are pushing for only two. It seems to your Maximum Leader that if you have three the likelyhood of one bad performance will be diminished.

Remember you did surprisingly well against Gore in 2000. It is hard for your Maximum Leader to realize that for all your broken syntax and ill-strung-together verbalizations, you somehow came out of the Gore debates looking like a good guy who knew what he was talking about.

Of course, Gore didn’t help himself in 2000 also. Remember Saturday Night Live? Oh… That little exasperated breath killed him.

Mr. President, you have to provoke a Saturday Night Live moment. Get Kerry to breathe heavy into the microphone. Get him to lose his cool. Push his buttons. Remember when Kerry fell when skiing earlier this year? And when the reporters caught it on camera he came over and said the Secret Service agent “bumped” him and “made” him fall? Kerry has a temper if you push the manliness button. Hit him a little on the flip-flopping in the Senate. Try to make him explain the complexities of a Senate vote. Try to get him to explain in a limited time format how he wanted to vote for something but couldn’t because of riders. Then tell him that he just didn’t have the courage to fight for his convictions. That will push his buttons and make a fun sound bite too.

Overall, you have to shoot for a good performance in the debates. A performance with no missteps on your part. On the whole, the debates aren’t going to change many minds. They aren’t going to push any undecideds into your camp - unless you screw up. So don’t screw up.

What does all this boil down to? Keep up what you are doing. But be diligent. Don’t become complacent. Stick to your message. Keep the message simple. Look presidential. And win in November.

Carry on.

    About Naked Villainy

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