Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader, effective about one hour ago, became a bachelor for the next 5 days.

On the one hand, he will very badly miss the Villainettes and Mrs. Villain. But on the other hand he will only have to share the Villainschloss with his faithful and trusty hound.

He can already hear the deafening sound of silence around him.

And it is glorious.

He does have some stuff planned. For instance tonight he has to do some bachelor shopping. He needs to buy some victuals for this week. Also, he may go and rent a naughty movie. Dinner will be from his favourite chinese place in town. He may pick it up instead of require delivery. This will allow him to engage in playful banter with the drop-ead gorgeous proprietor of said restaurant.

Tomorrow night he is going to the Nationals/Dodgers game.

Wednesday night he is planning on coming home and cooking himself a big ole Delmonico Steak and a massive lobster. He will wash it down with some Egri Bikaver. Then he plans of finishing the bottle of Egri Bikaver while watching Burton and Taylor in “The Taming of the Shrew.”

Thursday night is open.

Friday night is going to be crab cakes, cole slaw, and fresh corn. It will be washed down with cold beer and followed by hours upon hours of playing Rome: Total War.

He may also find time to blog a little…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader suspects that by now you’ve heard that Saudi Arabia’s King Fahd has died. Well, depending on your philosophical approach to these things one could say that his body died today and his mind died years ago when he had his stroke.

King Fahd was a masterful player of the delicate art of being a good buddy to the West and a noble patron to Islamofacists. Crown Prince (now King) Abdullah is of the same mold your Maximum Leader fears. One can hope that change will soon come to the House of Saud and the nation they rule so effectively.

Humm… Two King Abdullah’s in the middle east. One supposes they will now go by the monikers Abdullah of Jordan and Abdullah of Saudi Arabia.

Oh. Your Maximum Leader also hears that out of deference to the passed autocrat, the Arab League will not meet in Sharm Al-Sheik as planned this week. How thoughtful.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader will direct you to his first guest post over at The Hatemonger’s Quarterly. He doesn’t think it is quite up to the same rigourous standards set by the Crack Young (Editorial) Staff. But he will try to do better during the week.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is, in a way, surprised. The new blog format was rolled out a few short days ago. And today he got his first spam comment. Yes. The first one is always special. He’ll always remember his first…

He is surprised because it took a few days. He thought those spammers were insidious bastards who’d be on to him w/in 72 hours.

So “Abbe” at ip address: 148.244.150.58, your Maximum Leader will always remember that you wanted to offer all his readers unsecured personal loans - guaranteed.

If only you’d offered free porn. Perhaps then your Maximum Leader wouldn’t have banned your IP on the first offence…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is sure the majority of his readers probably also read The Onion. But in case you do not he felt he just had to pass this along.

Supreme Court Justices Devour Sandra Day O’Connor in Ancient Ritual.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader would like to devote more mental energy than his time really allows to give his thoughts on a recent post of Brian’s over at Memento Moron. The post is entitled 23 Days Late.

Brian, in the post, does some important introspection about his political views and his views of the Constitution. He makes an interesting point about “means” and “ends” in the application of Constitutional law.

The post caused your Maximum Leader to think a little bit. A few weeks ago the Minister of Propaganda and your Maximum Leader were talking about the uncanny similarity of results in many of those silly quizzes we from time to time take here at Naked Villainy. We had a little moment of epiphany. Our outlook on so many issues is very similar, but the foundations of our beliefs are very different. For the Minister of Propaganda the well-being and good of the community is central for your Maximum Leader the well-being and good of individual is central. (This little bit is greatly paraphrased.)

But Brian brings up a point that your Maximum Leader thinks we all must reflect on a little bit more. Examine the difference in language between the Constitution and the Declaration that Brian notes. The Constitution is talking about our Union, common defence, general welfare, “ourselves.” The Declaration speaks about individual men being created equal, government deriving powers from the consent of individuals. There is a little bit of a dichotomy here that is part of the “problem” with the American ideal. We want to have as much personal liberty as possible in a strong community. At some point those two concepts are in conflict.

Look, for example, at the reaction to the Kelo decision of the Supreme Court. The Court upheld that the Community can take property from an individual for not only “common” use (which was a long-settled question of law) but for the general improvement of the community by another private party.

This decision repulses your Maximum Leader. While he has no objection to the taking of private property (with compensation) for public use; he does object strongly to taking private property (with compensation) and delivering it unto another individual (or private group) for private use. He understands all the nuance to the argument, he just disagrees with the principle.

But this points out the conflict of which he was speaking. Common good? Or individual protection?

Indeed, the War on Terror gives us many more examples of this conflict. Profiling airline passengers. Surveillance in public places. Watch lists. All these are critical questions that as a society we should only attempt to answer after we have an understanding of our own core beliefs and what we consider most important.

Perhaps Brians ruminations and commentary upon them will lead others to think more about what they believe and why.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader must confirm the rumours. He will be guest blogging over at The Hatemongers Quarterly next week. It seems that the Crack Young Staff of the HMQ is moving to a new facility that will accomodate their 47% larger staff (as well as their intern, let’s call him “Chip”).

Your Maximum Leader is honoured to be asked to fill in for a few days. In some ways he feels like Letterman filling in for Carson in the old days. (Or was that Rivers filling in for Carson? Humm…) Taking the “guest weblogger” seat at HMQ is a prime gig.

Of course, your Maximum Leader is quite glad that the Crack Young Staff of the HMQ didn’t call Gordon the Cranky Neocon as a reference. The delightfully funny Gordon asked for volunteers to be “guest weblogger” on his site for a few days. Your Maximum Leader did volunteer. And how many guest posts did he write? Zip. Nada. Zilch. Rien. Lucky for Gordon the ever-popular Tikipundit also volunteered. (Tiki, by the way, is doing a bang-up job over on Cranky Neocon. Go. Now. Read!) In his own defence, your Maximum Leader had something of a domestic disturbance at the Villainschloss which took time away from guest blogging. It seems the dwarves in the dungeon got “uppity” and tried to flood out your Maximum Leader. Silly dwarves. It will take more than water in the dungeon to upset your Maximum Leader.

Anyho…

Your Maximum Leader is excited about writing for the Hatemongers. Indeed last night he found himself scouring Al Gore’s “internet” for interesting items upon which to opine.

He is also working on ways to use “feculent” on a more regular basis.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has checked time and time again today to see if the Smallholder had posted this week’s Men’s Club post. Finally, your Maximum Leader gave up wishing and decided to take matters into his own maximum leaderly fist…

This week the topic for the Demystifying Divas and Men’s Club is pets. What do they tell you about someone? How do they affect a relationship with someone? How do they impact you and your “other” (be they “significant” or “insignificant”).

Well… Your Maximum Leader thinks you can tell a lot about someone from the company they keep. This age-old maxim is equally applicable to pets as to people. Allow your Maximum Leader to make a broad generalization.

If your “lady friend” has a house full of cats, beware! This woman will be nothing but trouble for you. Any single woman with more than two cats living with her inside her house/apartment/condo/domicile is trouble.
(more…)

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader was perusing the news wire yesterday and noticed a name in a headline. The name caused him to click through and read an article he may have otherwise passed over.

The name… Kate Moss.

The headline… Kate Moss Wins Libel Suit Over Drug Charge.

Your Maximum Leader knows that the Minister of Propaganda has always had a soft spot in his (bleeding) heart for Ms. Moss. And that is why he went and read the article. (And why he is posting it here in fact.)

Your Maximum Leader will, for one, rest easier tonight knowing that Ms. Moss didn’t O.D. on cocaine and slip into a drug-induced coma. He suspects that the Minister of Propaganda will rest easier knowing this too.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is doffing his bejeweled floppy hat in honor of his newest Loyal Minion, Phin.

Phin and Sexy Sadie have done yeoman’s work with this weblog over the past few weeks. Indeed, your Maximum Leader has done nothing except supervise their toil, suggest (demand) changes, and request (require) system performance improvements.

And they are still on speaking terms with your Maximum Leader after all this is done…

Phin, Sadie, your Maximum Leader thanks you both for everything you’ve done to make Nakedvillainy.com a better blog. He doffs his bejeweled floppy hat to you both.

Carry on.
(more…)

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader sees that an Imperial College of London study seems to show that food and wine are the best ways of wooing a woman. Expensive gifts of stuff don’t seem to work as well as a nice dinner with wine.

Well… Duh… Of course the wine helps when pitching woo. It loosens you both up. With luck and enough wine the woo can lead to “other” stuff.

That said, your Maximum Leader infers that the type of dinner the study seems to be showing works well is a nice fanc dinner. In a restaurant that has a somalier, and linen napkins, and requires reservations.

Actually, your Maximum Leader’s personal experience would tend to bear this out. He always felt more comfortable offering an expensive dinner than some sort of bauble or trinket. He supposes that subconsciously he knew that even if the date went south he’d still get a good dinner out of it.

Plus your Maximum Leader can’t stand shopping for baubles or jewelry or trinkets. It is a particularly loathsome activity.

In closing, thanks to the good people at Imperial College London and their (hopefully vigourous) application of the scientific method men now know that wining and dining work better than the $99 heart-shaped diamonique pendant from Kay Jewelers.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader would like you all to know that there appears to be some time-delay issue with accepting comments on the blog. This is to say that you may enter a comment and click on the “Post” button. And then nothing happens.

Well, something is actually happening. Just it is going very slowly.

Don’t click multiple times on the “Post” button. This will cause your comment to be posted multiple times.

We’ll examine this issue.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader saw an interesting article on the Reuters news wire this morning.

It seems the Hejaz Railway is nearing its end. This is the famed Damascus to Amman route that, as the article says, was the target of many of Col. T.E. Lawrence’s raids during the Great War.

This is yet another case of the train being killed by the car and highway. Although sometimes a romantic where trains are concerned, your Maximum Leader understands that they are not always an economical way to move people.

Your Maximum Leader seems to remember some portion of an Alfred Thiesger travelogue that detailed a journey he took along the Hejaz railway. He’ll have to go through his library and see if he can find it…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader got to do some cooking tonight. And it was fun. But at the same time it reminded him that his form is slipping a little. And the experience prompted him to write about food and drink…

Cooking Stuff

So Mrs. Villain called tonight after picking up one of the Villainettes from camp and said she’d really ike to have some fried chicken. Once she mentioned it, your Maximum Leader suddenly had a craving for it too.

Now normally your Maximum Leader likes to have a little more prep time before frying chicken. The old tried and true method of frying chicken requires use of buttermilk in your liquid bath. So the normal process is to get out the old iron skillet, melt a few cups of shortening in it. While the shortening is melting you prepare your buttermilk bath and dredge. Your Maximum Leader generally mixes buttermilk and a beaten egg together. Puts the chicken in that liquid mixture for a few minutes before dredging it. Your Maximum Leader uses a dredge of corn meal, flour, salt, pepper, a good shake of paprika, and a bit of chili powder. The dredged chicken goes into the iron skillet where it cooks for 8-12 mins.

Excursus: Your Maximum Leader loves iron skillets. Has he ever mentioned this before? He thinks they are the greatest piece of cookware ever in all of history. Your Maximum Leader’s favourite iron skillet has been in his family for a while. In fact, your Maximum Leader stole the skillet from his sainted mother. His sainted mother got it from her mother. Your Maximum Leader’s maternal grandmother got it from her mother, who in turn had gotten it from HER mother. Your Maximum Leader’s maternal great-great-grandmother bought the skillet in Philadelphia before getting on a covered wagon and moving to Dayton, Ohio around 1855ish. Damn. That is a great skillet…

Anyho…

Tonight your Maximum Leader had no buttermilk. So he stole some of the wee Villain’s whole milk. Instead of shortening in the iron skillet it was peanut oil in your Maximum Leader’s cast iron wok. He figured that it might decrease the cook-time a little.

Your Maximum Leader was a little disappointed in himself tonight. He found it difficult to control the oil temperature. It fluctuated between 275 and 375 degrees. 350 is ideal for frying chicken. 275 is way too low. And frankly 375 is too high.

Damned electric range.

Yes… He hates to admit it… His range is electric. He had gas for nearly his whole life. But the Villainschloss uses electricity for cooking. Which is odd. Because the Villainschloss is hooked up for gas. Indeed, the Villainschloss has gas heat. He needs to get that line extended to the kitchen…

In the end the chicken turned out fine. But it wasn’t quite the same as the regular way…

Drink Stuff

As long-time readers of this space know, your Maximum Leader is a big Scotch drinker. Indeed for many years your Maximum Leader’s alcoholic beverage consumption consisted of beer and scotch. The Air Marshal turned your Maximum Leader on to some nice bourbons last year. This isn’t to say that your Maximum Leader hadn’t had bourbon before, but he didn’t try a variety of them before.

Well that has changed. Indeed, he now has just as many different bottles of Bourbon in his bar as Scotch. He’s got some Makers Mark, some Knob Creek, and some Wild Turkey Rare Breed.

Recently your Maximum Leader has been taken to drink some of that Knob Creek on the rocks with a splash of coke. He knows that a true bourbon connisseur may find that disgusting just as your Maximum Leader would say that adding anything but ice made from spring water to Scotch is disgusting. But he likes it. That bourbon and coke seems to be a very refreshing summer drink. In many ways it is more refreshing than a beer.

Perhaps, if you are lucky, your Maximum Leader will write a more comprehensive review of his bourbons in a later post…

On that note, your Maximum Leader is going to sign off and pour himself a bourbon and coke. Until tomorrow my minions.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader was recently forwarded a link. A link? A link? A link you say? What sort of a link?

A link to a heartless critique of the oh-so-desireable Miss Jennifer Love Hewitt.

At first your Maximum Leader was getting all defensive on “Love’s” behalf. She is, afterall, going to be the model for many a statue in the MWO.

But after reading the post one more time and really looking at the photo your Maximum Leader realizes that Heather is right. That dress really is pretty unflattering. It does flatten her chest and make her hips and waist look odd.

That said, your Maximum Leader would gladly help Miss Hewitt out of that dress and into something more “comfortable.”

Carry on.