I’m here to chew gum and kick ass.

I’m all out of gum.

Expect posts on the morrow.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has been very concerned for the residents of the gulf coast. Hurricanes are not pleasant events. Your Maximum Leader knows that of which he speaks. He’s weathered out a few, and fled from one or two as well.

Before he opines. Give to the American Red Cross. Help the people affected by Hurricane Katrina.

Your Maximum Leader cannot add anything to the reports from other bloggers and news outlets But he will opine on one very annoying tendency he’s observed over the past 24 hours. The uncanny ability of news readers to cut people off who are “callling in” or giving “expert” opinion; but then not go to a commercial. Over the past few hours he’s watched Fox, CNN, and MSNBC. On all three networks they’ve had people on the phone who were commenting on the Hurricane. Sometimes they were people in a flooding building in New Orleans. Sometimes they were engineers discussing the leaky roof at the Superdome. In each case the guests were talking and the news reader/host cut them off and switched to a reporter in the field. The problem with this is that the reporters in the field have been saying the same thing for nearly 12 hours now. Nothing new is being added.

Why not let the guest talk on for a little bit? You’ve got all the time in the world. The storm is slow moving. You can’t get more video feed than you’ve got. Replay the feed and let the guest talk. You don’t need to visit Steve or Brian or whomever standing in the rain in the hotel parking lot to give you the update on how things look from there. Again.

You’ve got time. Let people talk a little more. The reporters in the field will still be there in 5 minutes…

Anyho…

Help out those affected by the storm. Give to the American Red Cross.

Carry on.

I took the OKCupid Test at, well, Ok Cupid, but you have to follow this link to see my results (if there was a way to display the results page here, I couldn’t figure it out).

Any “Dirty Little Secrets” or “Interns” out there? Hello? (tap tap tap) Is this thing on?

Believe.

It’s been kind of a slow week because I was working and didn’t get much quality time with the DVD player. Well, I did have time to watch this one movie that I’m not going to review here, because I think the Maximum Leader would edit my word choice.

As an additional element of review, I’ll be listing the movies within each category (in theaters or viewed at home) from best choice to worst, so minions looking for entertainment guidance need do even less thinking than before.

Anyway, in theaters:
Broken Flowers: captivating
The Cave: passable
Brothers Grimm: disillusioning

Viewed at home:
La Petite Lili: interesting

Enjoy and, as befits you, believe.

Since Smallholder’s been too busy to post anything but comments lately, I took the classic movie test on his behalf (with his permission, of course, and more commentary from me below):

Katharine Hepburn You scored 23% grit, 19% wit, 42% flair, and 23% class!

You are the fabulously quirky and independent woman of character. You go your own way, follow your own drummer, take your own lead. You stand head and shoulders next to your partner, but you are perfectly willing and able to stand alone. Others might be more classically beautiful or conventionally woman-like, but you possess a more fundamental common sense and off-kilter charm, making interesting men fall at your feet. You can pick them up or leave them there as you see fit. You share the screen with the likes of Spencer Tracy and Cary Grant, thinking men who like strong women. Find out what kind of classic leading man you’d make by taking the Classic Leading Man Test.

/tbody>

I appreciate Smallholder’s confidence in allowing me to select his answers. I thought it especially appropriate to complete the sentence, “Someone just shot a bullet through my front window. I…” with the choice, “grab my cute little dog and run.”

Didn’t Maximum Leader match up as Cary Grant? I’m just bringing it up in case anyone feels like revisiting the issue of suggestive banter between ML and Smallholder (now that we allow minionly comments . . . )

Believe.

Any comely, liberal minions want to be in my movie?

William Powell You scored 9% Tough, 33% Roguish, 9% Friendly, and 47% Charming!

You are the classic rogue, a stylish rake with the devil of a wit and a flair for mischief, and you shake your martinis to waltz time. You are charming and debonair, but slightly untrustworthy, and women should be on their guard. If married, you are simply a bit of a flirt, even if it’s just with your own wife…but if you’re single, watch out. You usually rein yourself in to concentrate on one lovely beauty at a time, but with you, we never know. You’re an inviting partner, but there’s a playful devil behind your eyes, and those trying to get close to you should know they’re playing with fire. You’re stylish and fun, but you follow your own course, which may or may not include a steady gal. Co-stars include Myrna Loy and Carole Lombard, classy ladies with an adventurous streak. Find out what kind of classic dame you’d make by taking the Classic Dames Test.

Believe.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader sees Kathy and Silk have done the leading ladies part. Your Maximum Leader will co-star.

Cary Grant You scored 21% Tough, 19% Roguish, 23% Friendly, and 38% Charming!

You are the epitome of charm and style, the smooth operator who steals the show with your sophisticated wit and quiet confidence. You are able to catch any woman you want just by flashing that disarming smile. When you walk into a room, the women are instantly intrigued and even the men are impressed. When you find yourself in trouble, you are easily able to charm your way out of it, or convince others to help you. You’re seen as dashing, suave and romantic. Your co-stars include Katharine Hepburn, Irene Dunne, and Joan Fontaine, stylish women who know a class act when they see it. Find out wat kind of classic dame you’d make by taking the Classic Dames Test.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has been tagged by Eric with a meme request. You know something? Your Maximum Leader thinks this is the first time he’s been tagged with a meme in months at least… Certainly it is the first one he has categorized as under the subject category “Memes” since moving to the new blog style…

Anyho… On with it!

1. Person who most influenced your musical tastes:

Your Maximum Leader would have to say his sainted mother. Mum is a classical music lover herself. His early childhood memories are filled with a soundtrack sung by Sherrill Milnes, Placido Domingo, Beverly Sills, Maria Callas, and Kiri Te Kanawa. Your Maximum Leader’s love of classical music definately comes from her. As does his love of other music. Mum used to play the guitar. She would play various folk songs and some “classic country.” It was not until much later in life (perhaps aged 10-12 or so) when he started to listen to more contemporary music. A few longtime friends stand out in his memory as being the ones who exposed your Maximum Leader to different types of music that he loves. Tom M exposed him to “alternative” music. Dave C exposed him to lots of classic rock and heavy metal. (Although your Maximum Leader isn’t really a big metal fan some bands are actually quite worthwhile.)

2. Top 5 songs to drive to:

This is sorta tough. Your Maximum Leader is sort of moody when it comes to car music. Right now he has a mix CD in the Villainmobile and the following songs are among his all-time favourite driving songs. (In no particular order.)

Folsom Prison Blues by Johnny Cash. Preferably the live version recorded in Folsom Prison or San Quentin.

Driver 8 by REM. This is actually your Maximum Leader’s favourite REM song.

Key to the Highway by Eric Clapton and BB ing. Your Maximum Leader probably has 4 versions of this song in his album collection. This one is best for driving. It is off the “Riding with the King” album. It is a clear blues-y recording that has a groove.

Once In a Lifetime by the Talking Heads. Your Maximum Leader has been caught driving through town from time to time singing loudly “Same as it ever was. Same as it ever was. Same as it EVER WAS.”

Promised Land by Elvis. Okay. This was originally a Chuck Berry song. But The King owns it in his recording. Your Maximum Leader has 3 or 4 Elvis versions. He recommends the one off of “Platinum, a Life in Music”

3. # of CD’s you own:

Oy. This one caused your Maximum Leader to go and count. Answer: 148. This makes him want to go out and buy two more. If you would like to get completely pedantic about this, your Maximum Leader counted a multi-disk set (like a Wagner Opera or Elvis Boxed set) as 1 CD. He counted titles not actual disks.

4. Song/CD you were listening to when you lost your virginity:

Why is there a general assumption that there was music going? In fact, in your Maximum Leader’s case there was no music playing. Not like he would have heard it over his pounding heart.

5. Song(s) played at your wedding:

Humm… Let’s see. “Ave Maria,” “Hail Mary Queen Enthroned Above,” a latin “Kyrie,” and “To Jesus Christ, Our Sovreign King.” Like Eric, your Maximum Leader assumes the question means at the Church service.

6. Favorite sad song:

Oy. Toughie. Very tough indeed. “I’m So Lonesome I Could Cry.” Pretty much anyone’s recording of it. This might be a little cliched. But that is one hell of a sad song.

7. Song you’d like played at your funeral:

Well… Your Maximum Leader has always espoused his love of the pre-Vatican II Latin Funeral mass. He’d really like to have one where the priest stood with his back to the congregation the whole time and never mentioned your Maximum Leader’s name until the end when he asks the Lord to accept the soul of our departed “name here” into his care.

But in terms of music… If he could have Richard Wagner’s “Liebestod” from “Tristan und Isolde” playing that would be great.

And that is it…

Now, your Maximum Leader isn’t a big tagger of others when it comes to memes and things. That said he’d be interested to read the answers of any of this Minsters…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader went over to his Cafe Press store and added two new items. He also added a logo for the store. (A logo which is really nothing to write home about - but Loyal Minion Sadie will recognize it as a very early prototype for a new blog header… Can’t let these things go to waste…) He also added a store description. He will reproduce it here:

Welcome to the Nakedvillainy.com on-line store. Shop with reckless abandon while you are here. And know that wearing official Naked Villainy apparel is good for you. Scientific studies have shown that weekly wearing of Naked Villainy apparel will increase testosterone production in men and increase women’s cup size by a full letter. Our studies also lead us to believe that the typical Naked Villainy apparel wearer is both smarter and more attractive than the average person. So think of your purchase as a step down the road to self improvement.

Damn. If that doesn’t motivate you to buy something what the hell will?

Now start down the road of self improvement.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader should point out some things to you.

Jeff returns.

MuNuvians go down then return.

Now Gordon the Cranky Neocon has vanished.

Coincidence? Your Maximum Leader thinks not.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader saw on the news wire that John Allen Muhammad, the DC Area Sniper for those of you not in the know, is being forcibly fed and hydrated.

Only in our great republic can a man on death row in one state be force fed and hydrated so that he may stand for another trial in second state. The outcome of the second state’s trial may well result in the man being on death row in two states…

Rest easy loyal minions knowing that in the Mike World Order executions will be carried out with greater speed. Also, as it is a World Order there may not be these jurisdictional issues.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader wants to direct you to a great post. It is by our Loyal Minion Bill. It is about boiling eggs. It is fantastic.

Bill knows his eggs. Bill could probably write a show for Alton Brown about eggs. (Frankly, Alton should do a show on eggs.)

Your Maximum Leader’s technique for egg boiling is very similar to Bill’s. Your Maximum Leader covers the eggs in cold water and then brings them to a boil. After the water comes to a strong boil, he turns off the heat (on electric ranges) or turns down the heat to a simmer (on gas ranges). He lets the eggs sit in the water for slightly more than 10 mintues. Then they go into cold water - or sometimes an ice bath. Your Maximum Leader generally prefers his yolks on the soft and orange side. And he rarely keeps boiled eggs on hand.

Go and read Bill’s piece. Your Maximum Leader is sure you will enjoy it and learn something.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is happy to (tenatively) report that his computer’s BIOS problem appears to be resolved. He started up the computer in safe mode and tried to make some changes to the ACPI settings. It didn’t seem as though the changes took, but the computer is now acting fine. Humm… That is why he says that his BIOS problems appear to be resolved… Who knows what exactly happened? Your Maximum Leader sure doesn’t.

Anyho… Light to no other blogging from your Maximum Leader today. Lots of other stuff to do.

Carry on.

Get your position here

Holy Smokes, I’ve gone from 3,000 to 750! I even appear to be on the verge of overtaking the fish in the bowler hat. It must be the many, many liberal minions who are moving me closer to the Presidency of the United States. I appreciate your support and faith. Next, perhaps, some of you will be suggesting I overthrow the Maximum Leader.

Not that I’m actually thinking of doing that . . .

Believe.

‘Tis one of the loyal minions, Sadie….just thought I’d pass though and moon everyone.

Whew. That was mighty liberating. This is Naked Villainy, after all. When in Rome…