Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader sees that the great state of Oklahoma has now legalized tattoo parlors. Oklahoma was the last state in the Union to legalize tattoos.

Humm… Your Maximum Leaders suspects that the fact that getting a tattoo was illegal in Oklahoma didn’t stop anyone who wanted a tattoo from getting one.

Additionally… Is your Maximum Leader the only one who sees the prevalence of tattoos in America today as a sign of impending cultural doom?

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has been making some quiet changes here at Naked Villainy. Well… Mostly they are changes to the blogroll. Nope, not really cleaning out blogs but adding some on. (Sorry Sadie - who remains - by the way DEAD SEXY! NB to Sadie: You wouldn’t be up for coming to the Villainschloss and discussing engineering problems with your Maximum Leader would you?)

Yes… Your Maximum Leader has added some blogs to his blogroll that he’s read off and on for a while and now he’s commiting to read with some regularity. He’s also moved some blogs around on his blogroll. He would like to note that he has rounded out his Loyal Minions Category with an even 10 by adding the Hatemongers and Llama Butchers to the list. He doesn’t forsee expanding the Loyal Minions categeory further. That is, of course, subject to his autocratic whim…

Among the other addees are: Mixolydian Mode, 1 Girl 4 Martinis, Feisty Republican Whore, Wuzzadem, Tommy Funebo (which is in Swedish by the way), and Tinkery Tonk. Speaking of Tinkery Tonk. That title floats around in your Maximum Leader’s brain. He finds himself just sitting staring at his monitor and the words “Tinkery Tonk” repeat over and over in his mind. Tinkery Tonk. Tinkey Tonk. Tinkery Tonk. Tinkery Tonk. Perhaps typing them out will exorcise them from the little voice in his head…

If you are a reader and linker to Naked Villainy and don’t appear on the blogroll - but think you should let your Maximum Leader know. No guarantees. Your Maximum Leader has had some trackback and commenting problems here of late that he needs to look into. So he thinks that he might be missing some of you.

And finally… Do not expect many updates from your Maximum Leader on Friday May 12 or Friday May 26. Tomorrow your Maximum Leader has some business to which he must attend and it will likely keep him away from blogging all day. And on Friday May 26 your Maximum Leader is taking Villainette #1 out of school for a day with dad. She’s been shortchanged twice now on the go-out-with-dad-and-do-something-fun front. So we will likely sleep in, go out for breakfast, then visit the Smithsonian, get a nice lunch, and other fun stuff. She, and your Maximum Leader, are really looking forward to it. Also, it comes right after Villainette #1 finishes the SOL tests. So it will be nice to blow off some steam…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is something of a curmudegonly fellow. Perhaps it doesn’t always show on the blog, but if you got to know him better in “real life” (and really which one of you out there doesn’t) you would discover his curmudegonly streak…

Among the great curmudgeons of the 20th Century one must include Dorthy Parker (1893 - 1967). She had a sharp wit and was a great writer. She is, unfortunately, a cultural icon lost to the great majority of unliterary Americans…

Anyho…

It was by sheer chance that your Maximum Leader started to put things together for this post. As some of you may know, the NAACP has declared its intention to move its national headquarters from Baltimore, MD to Washington DC. Why the organization would do this your Maximum Leader doesn’t know. It isn’t as though being in Baltimore has decreased access to the power brokers in Washington for NAACP leaders. If their headquarters were in New York, or Chicago, or Atlanta your Maximum Leader might understand the move. But Baltimore? It doesn’t make piles of sense.

Regardless, that is not the point of this post One presumes that if the NAACP moves its headquarters to DC they will abandon their building in Baltimore. If they abandon their building in Baltimore what is to become of Dorothy Parker? She is buired in a memorial garden on the site of the NAACP headquarters in Baltimore.

Your Maximum Leader knew that Dorothy Parker died without heirs and decided to leave her estate to Martin Luther King, Jr. Upon King’s murder, her estate reverted to the NAACP. So, the NAACP owns the rights to, and receives royalties from the writings of Dorothy Parker. When the NAACP discovered, in 1988 or so, that Dorothy Parker’s cremated remains resided in a file cabinet in her attorney’s office, they offered to create a memorial garden at their headquarters as a place of internment. So, after more than a decade in a file cabinet, Parker’s remains were buired at NAACP headquarters.

So if the NAACP moves their headquarters (and it seems as though they will) what is to become of Dorothy Parker? Does she get moved as well? Or does she remain in Baltimore?

Frankly, there is some irony to her situation. Parker is always connected in your Maximum Leader’s mind with New York City and the Alqonquin Round Table. There seems to be an ironic cruelty in Dorothy Parker not being buried in NYC. Perhaps when the NAACP leaves Baltimore, Parker’s ashes should be removed and put in a memorial in the Alqonquin Hotel in NYC?

Who knows…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader knows that the story about President Bush’s interview with the German-language Bild magazine is starting to take off like a case of crabs in a mining camp. What? You’ve not seen the article? Well here it is:

Bush’s best moment in office? Reeling in big perch.

It seems that the President told a Bild reporter that the highlight of his time as leader of the free world was: “I would say the best moment of all was when I caught a 7.5 pound perch in my lake…”

Now some people will surely cast aspersions on this statement. Many of the President’s detractors will surely opine, comment, and bloviate about how this just shows how Bush is out of touch, how he is letting Cheney run the show, how he has no idea of what the real world is like. To his detractors allow your Maximum Leader to say this, “Have you ever seen a 7.5 pound perch? Have you ever caught one?” Your Maximum Leader hasn’t. Why? ‘Cause that is a big perch to find in your own pond. Your Maximum Leader remembers the nearly 50 inch long Rockfish he caught once. He remember landing a big ole grouper in the Gulf of Mexico. He even remembers a Bluefish that fought him for 20 minutes before giving in. (As you can tell your Maximum Leader is a saltwater fisherman himself - not a big pond fisherman.)

If fishing is something you love, then you always remember the big catches. Those memories are more important to you than scoring the big deal, landing the big client, or - if you are President - passing a stimulative tax cut. This story doesn’t bespeak a President who is out of touch. They talk about a President who has his personal priorities in order.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader saw yesterday that Warren Jeffs was added to the FBI’s Ten Most Wanted List over the weekend. Jeffs is a former teacher and apparently the leader of a splinter sect of the Church of Latter DaySaints called, easily enough, the Fundamentalist Latter Day Saints. Jeffs appears to be a polygamist and a pedophile.

But to your Maximum Leader’s surprise, Jeffs looks nothing like Roman Grant (aka Harry Dean Stanton).

Carry on.
(more…)

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader sees that Preston’s people have found a completely different letter from Iranian President Ahmadinejad to President Bush than did your Maximum Leader’s people. This just goes to show that you sometimes just get sources that conflict.

Sort of like intelligence analyists…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader must direct you towards Minion Skippy’s site. Skippy’s masterful analysis of American politics, and his suggestions for an unbeatable ticket in 2008 should be read and enjoyed.

It must be because Skippy is Canadian that he hasn’t been picked up by some political consulting group as a top-level strategery type of guy… In the Mike World Order he will be well cared for…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader had a great weekend. He went to a great wedding and had a fantastic time. (NB to Steve & Catherine: If you are reading this… Why? You’re in Hawaii now supposedly having lots of sex and periodically going to the beach…) Your Maximum Leader also had a fine time with his villainous progeny. Lots of fun there too. Mostly indoor stuff as it was raining. But fun nonetheless. (The Villainettes convinced your Maximum Leader to join them on a Girl Scouts camping trip in a few weeks. So it will be a family affair - as Mrs Villain is the troop leader.)

Last night your Maximum Leader tried out a new spinach recipe. Basically you take a large bag of frozen spinach and put it in a pot with three-four cups of water. Bring water & spinach to boil. As soon as the water boils remove the spinach, but retain the boiling water. Add rice to the water and cook. In the meanwhile, right before the rice is done, put the spinach into a skillet with a few tablespoons of olive oil and a clove of crushed garlic. Heat up your spinach. When the rice is done and the spinach is steaming - put a few tablespoons of pine nuts in the spinach. Place rice on your plate. Spoon spinach on top of the rice. Top lightly with grated parmesan cheese. This went very well with a baked chicken. Your Maximum Leader can also imagine this side with a number of fish dishes as well…

Your Maximum Leader would exhort you to pray for the health of Keith Richards. But unless you worship Satan he’s not sure the prayers would do much good. Isn’t there a little irony in the fact that decades of drugs, alcohol and hedonism can’t do in Keith Richards; but a fall out of a palm tree can fell the man whom your Maximum Leader thought would outlive the rest of the human race…

Your Maximum Leader reads on the AP news wire that Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has written a letter to President Bush. The AP is reporting that President Ahmadinejad is offering “new solutions” to the problems the international community is having with his nation’s nuclear program. Your Maximum Leader has it on good authority that President Ahmadinejad has made the following demands, which if they are met, Iran will abandon their nuclear program.

1) The FBI arrest then drag out and shoot Kevin Federline. It seems that KFed’s career is keeping President Ahamdinejad’s recording career from taking off.
2) Require that the FCC make Oprah wear a burkha and be more obeidient to the wishes of Dr. Phil.
3) Send President Ahmadinejad a few kilos of whatever Tom Cruise is on. If it is Katie Holmes’ placenta, well then just knock that girl up again…
4) Nuke Israel.
5) Require that President Bush and President Jacques Chirac of France have a summit where they kiss and make up.
6) Send Jenna Bush to Tehran to party like its 1999 with “Big Mahmoud and the Mullahs.”
7) Foce Katie Couric to stay on Today. Mahmoud really likes that Katie/Matt Lauer banter every day. (But if you could permenantly replace Ann Curry with that super-hot Campbell Brown… Grrrrr….) Set President Admadinejad up with Maureen Dowd. He thinks her whining and carrying on just make her adorable.
9) Require the US Supreme Court to use Sharia when interpreting the Constitution.
10) Have the US crawl into a great dark hole and ignore their role on the world stage.

Your Maximum Leader isn’t sure that these demands will go far… But it is a start.

Carry on.

This is pretty funny…. in a hawkish kind of way
if your interested take a look!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQXsrrrf2zw

Back to the trenches…..

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader must admit that he has yet to see the soon-to-be-infamous Zarqawi tape in which the terrorist has trouble operating his machine gun…

Your Maximum Leader just learned that the tape in question is even more shocking than first expected… Steve the Llamabutcher shows us the true extent of the depravity.

The horror… Oh the horror!

You know something… Your Maximum Leader suspects that this young woman has no trouble firing a machine gun.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader was listening to his beloved iPod this morning. The Stevie Nicks song “Talk to Me” came up in a playlist. Immediately your Maximum Leader started thinking about an F. Scott Fitzgerald short story. The story is “Myra Meets His Family.” (Which your Maximum Leader seems to remember being adapted into a teleplay on PBS called “Under the Biltmore Clock.”)

In fact, every time he hears “Talk to Me” he thinks of the Fitzgerald story. Insofar as your Maximum Leader can tell, there is no similarity at all between the two. Somehow they’ve been linked in his memory. Don’t know how…

Thought you all would like to know that.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader notes that today is Cinco De Mayo. On the Fifth of May, Mexicans celebrate their victory over a French Army at the Battle of Puebla in 1862.

Your Maximum Leader supposes this is as good a reason as any to take a day off and drink some beer and eat some burritos…

Then again, if the Germans celebrated every victory over a French Army they wouldn’t do anything beyond drinking beer and eating schnitzel…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is pleased. Pleased that MLB has finally gotten off its collective arse and sold the Washington Nationals franchise to the investor group lead by Ted Lerner.

As your Maximum Leader has mentioned before, he has some indirect ties to the Lerner’s. He hopes these translate into some choice seats at a few games in upcoming seasons.

Speaking of upcoming seasons… They look to be rocky for the Nationals. According to Ted Lerner and Stan Kasten (who will be the new club President), the plan to build a strong franchise in DC is a long-term one. One that relies on good scouting, drafting, and an outstanding farm system. Just being able to type those words makes your Maximum Leader grin. Old school. Yes… The new owners are Old School. Just like your Maximum Leader…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader first heard yesterday about Zacarias Moussaoui getting life in prison without parole from an e-mail from our friend and loyal minion, r Rusty Shackelford. The good Doctor and his co-bloggers have the best round-up of links about this story (as is always the case it seems).

Your Maximum Leader had blogged earlier about how he didn’t think Moussaoui should get the death penalty. He still believes this to be the case - based on what he’s read of the case. (NB: Your Maximum Leader will freely admit that if he had full access to everything presented in court his opinion may have been different.) That being said, your Maximum Leader is concerned about what the jury felt might be a mitigating circumstance. Namely that Moussaoui’s unfortunate childhood and poor upbringing somehow lessens the fact that he did plot to kill many thousands of Americans. It is distressing if this is, in fact, a key reason for the jury sparing Moussaoui’s life.

What every happened to free will and people being responsible for their actions?

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader was amused this morning. Very amused. The Crack Young Staff’s pitch for a new MTV show today just made your Maximum Leader laugh.

Of course, there was that one time the dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt was on Punk’d… Surely you remember the episode… It is, in fact, the only one your Maximum Leader has ever watched… The one where the dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt was speaking to a “producer” about a possible film role. In the middle of their discussion a “gangsta enforcer” came into the “producer’s” office to collect on a very large “Super Bowl bet.” The “producer” begged the dreamy Miss Hewitt to help him get some cash and thereby save his life and limbs…

What? You didn’t see that one? Well… Too bad. Your Maximum Leader did. As he said, it is the only one he’s ever seen. Let it suffice to say that your Maximum Leader wouldn’t want to acutally put the dreamy Miss Hewitt in a bad situation. Anyone else is fair game (even the Smallholder); but not the (platonic) object-of-your-Maximum-Leader’s-affection - Miss Hewitt.

Carry on.