Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader needs to make a statement.

Bubble gum flavoured toothpaste is gawd-awful crap.

This statement is brought on by the fact that Mrs. Villain and his villainous progeny are out of town. When they left, Mrs. Villain packed toiletries - including the regular Crest toothpaste. Thus, your Maximum Leader was reduced to using the Villainettes’ toothpaste this morning. Two Diet Cokes and a mug of Russian Caravan tea were needed to expunge the foul taste from his mouth. Ugh.

Carry on.