Who knew that a simple little post about toads would generate so much interest?

For those of you who wish to sex toads at home, here is a step-by-step guide:

1) Make sure your toad is a toad. Many people seem to confuse frogs and toads. Frogs are moist, have smooth skin, and are generally found near water. Toads are dry, have bumpy skin, and are terrestrial except when they mate.

2) Pick up the toad gently, but with enough control so that it doesn’t squirm loose and splat itself on the ground. Hold the toad away from your body because they will attempt their standard defense mechanism:peeing on you. Toad pee is very acidic, and if you were a dog or predator, you’d drop the poor guy quickly. As it is, you’ll want to wash your hands after you are done sexing your toad.

3) Turn the toad over in the palm of your hand so it lays with its back down and its head between your thumb and pointer finger. Gently wrap your fingers around it’s body. Maintain enough pressure that it cannot squirm forward, but don’t squeeze it too hard either.

4) Turn your hand so the toad is right-side up in relation to the ground. Use your middle finger to stroke or tickle the toad’s belly. If the toad croaks, you have a male. If it does not, you’ve got a lady.

Nakedvillainy: Your one-stop-shop for crucial how-to information. Tell your friends.

UPDATE FROM YOUR MAXIMUM LEADER: Gordon, the Cranky Neocon, wrote back to say that he did get a squeak. So we know Gordon has a male. (NB to Minions: Read Cranky Neocon daily! Daily! Yes, every day. Okay… Every non-holiday weekday would suffice.)

Also, you know people are fighting for traffic in the blogosphere when the Llamas start elbowing their way into the whole domesticated farm animal millieu. All your Maximum Leader can say is, “Beware Llama-boys! Farm animal posts are the provence of the Smallholder! Remember, we’ve got pitchforks and inseminators and we know how to use them!”