When I returned from the wilderness, I wrote an essay describing my summer blog reading. If you did not find my obsequious fawning over the brilliance of Vonnegut’s fictional character compelling, skip this post.

No, really.

Scroll down and become enraged at the Yankee presumption of my discussion of the causes of the Civil War.

You can also read my poetictribute to the peccadilloes of our Maximum Leader.

You could also scroll down and look at the pretty graphics posted by the Air Marshal.

I assume the Air Marshal is feeling very cheery right now.

It’s not so bad, Dave. You can find your post in the archives.

Yes, I am going to hell. I’ve got a lease-option on a Styx-front condo just down the street from the Minister of Propaganda’s ski-lodge.

Summer Reading:

I checked Enjoy Every Sandwich every day, even though the odds were better than even that his stupid happy bun logo would overload the feeble memory of my antiquated PC and crash the whole system. I just made sure to check during my daughter’s nap so she wouldn’t hear me swearing while the machine rebooted.

Skippy’s political commentary is awesome. His well-crafted prose skewers both presidential campaigns with bipartisan glee. You won’t find weak apologia for his party (a la Analphilosopher and our own Maximum Leader, Minister of Propaganda, and Foreign Minister). His essays are such a good example of building a reasoned argument on the foundation of apt historical analogy that I would love to send my students to read his site. I would love to put a big “Enjoy Every Sandwich” link on my class blog.

But I’d get fired, tenure or no tenure.

Because Skippy isn’t just a political junkie.

He is also a deeply disturbed, highly profane, individual who is obsessed with his own penis, harbors dark fantasies about Hollywood starlet Lindsay Lohan (who is, I observe, not Jaime Pressly - what is wrong with this freak?), and seeks to emulate the grooming techniques of a deposed Iraqi caudillo.

If the lowly Minister of Agriculture had any real power in the MWO, I would elevate Skippy to the status of Loyal Minion. But the Maximum Leader seems to require an e-mail offering a sniveling oath of fealty before he grants that title to outsiders. And Skippy, while actually quite depraved, doesn’t strike me as the groveling type.

So, if you are up for some hard-hitting political analysis, visit Skippy. Or, if you are a sick, sick person (Like the BigHo), visit for the dirty stuff.

Speaking of the BigHo, I have to confess that, although I enjoy hanging with him socially, his blog drifted off my radar this summer. The graphics-rich environment pretty much guaranteed a crash. But I found that even when I had access to DSL, visiting was pretty much for old times sake.

Big Hominid’s interests have changed over time. Two summers ago, his blog led me into a blog-surfing addiction. I became fascinated with the intricacies of peninsular diplomacy. But as the Hominid has had to bend his nose to the grindstone to pay the rent, posts on North Korean provocation have become few and fart between. No, the second to last word in the previous sentence is not a typo. Those of you who visit the Hominid’s site are well aware of our Poet Laureate’s fascination with bodily emissions, expulsions, and secretions. Not exactly my cup of tea, but different strokes make the world go round.

Please, Big Ho, give me less scatology humor and more scatological smackdowns of the delusions of the Dear Leader.

More summer reading reports will follow.

Keep on the edge of your seat.