Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader sees on the news wire that ABC and CBS are secretly looking for new evening news anchors.

First off, how secret could the search be if stories about the search appear on the new wire?

Secondly, your Maximum Leader will suggest that ABC or CBS contact the Minister of Propaganda right away. He is a dashing figure and we’re sure he’ll look great on TV. He’s young and hip - so you might capture a younger demographic. He is single and dating - so you are guaranteed to get some tabloid press as he goes from one bacchanalian fest to another. And lastly, but by no means leastly, you will get an educated and articulate liberal to replace the liberals you had before.

If ABC or CBS did pick up the M of P as their evening news anchor your Maximum Leader just might start watching the evening news again.

Carry on.