Now that the Maximum Leader has removed comments, I can safely post this vignette without the risk of all of our female readers begging me to violate the Seventh Commandment. While the Maximum Leaders is correct that out friends Ally and Sadie are indeed lovely and sexy, their swooning over my manure-spattered boots has grown a bit tiresome. I personally don’t mind so much when Sadie stalks me from afar, her ontiued presence in the barn loft makes Mrs. Smallholder uncomfortable.

At any rate, since I can now relate this story without triggering a flood of love letters in our comments, here ’tis:

At a play group this summer (I should stop calling it baby group), one of the mothers was describing how she and her husband were taking a couple-only vacation to celebrate their anniversary. The in-laws were going to watch the kids and they were going to spend a week at the Homestead Resort. Many of the moms swooned over the idea of a brief liberation from child-rearing and living in the lap of luxury for seven days. Homestead mom basked in the approval of her peers, confident that no one else would be able to top her romantic getaway.

She of course, did not know who she was dealing with.

Mrs. Smallholder cleared her voice and spoke.

“Seven days at a resort? My husband is taking me on a tour of grazing dairies and we are spending the night at the Knight’s Inn in Galax, Virginia. Two whole days of looking at cows and grass and a night at Motel Six’s discount competitor.”

You should have seen all the moms swoon. I could only humbly reply, “Sorry ladies, this one’s taken.”