Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader doffs his bejeweled floppy cap today in honour of the birthday girl. Yes, loyal minions the dreamy and oh-so-desireable Jennifer Love Hewitt is 27 years old today. The platonic star of your Maximum Leader’s heart (as well as the big screen, small screen, radio, iPod, runway, and red carpet) has gracefully aged another year.
In the Mike World Order this day will be a paid holiday. All shall be commanded to bring forth the finest meats and cheese in all the land and feast. Wine will flow in abundance. And the masses shall be happy…
Of course, if the dreamy Miss Hewitt had no other dinner plans tonight she could give your Maximum Leader a call and he would call in a few favours and be happy to take her out for a fine meal at Picasso in Vegas. (NB to JLH: In order for your Maximum Leader to make this happen he needs a call sorta quickly…) Last time your Maximum Leader ate at Picasso he had a dish with lobster in a champagne cream sauce with tender sauteed veggies. It was light and refreshing. He would recommend it to you. Of course, you are free to get whatever you like. Your Maximum Leader will take care of everything for you.
Of course your Maximum Leader can arrange that all those nasty paparazzi are kept at a distance so as to not spoil your dinner. Or if you prefer your Maximum Leader will let the paparazzi close - but then have their legs broken. You know… For kicks…
But what is your Maximum Leader doing prattleing on about Picasso… You may want to have dinner somewhere else. That’s okay. You just let him know and the arrangements will be made.
You may want to dress up. Of course dressing down is also fine. Your Maximum Leader doesn’t care. He really liked that white suit you wore to the MTV Fashion awards a while back. You might revisit it.
Anyhoo… Your Maximum Leader hopes that Jennifer Love Hewitt has a fabulous 27th. (NB to JLH: Don’t forget to call if you want your Maximum Leader to make plans… The number is on the restraining order at your agent’s office. Heh.)
Carry on.
