The Smallholder asks for opinions re: what to do about the raccoon he caught (see the post below this one). My take:

Just do the fucker in.

Sounds like you don’t have much of a choice. Why prolong his suffering?

Got any Teflon-coated rounds? Might prevent ricochet. Heh.

There’s also the option of putting the raccoon into a bag, then shooting the bag full of holes. This solves, more or less, the “moving target” problem. It might also solve the ricochet problem if you’ve placed the bag on the ground and are basically firing into the ground (from a distance, of course).

Or fill the bag with rocks and let that puppy sink to the bottom of a lake or river. It’s all over in a few short minutes.

Or put the raccoon in a bag and apply a sledgehammer to your dilemma. The bag solves, more or less, the problem of splatter.

Or wrap the animal tightly enough that squirming is minimal, replace the sledgehammer with an axe, and make sure your aim is true, O Executioner. Hit that spinal cord as hard as you can. Whether you actually slice through the cord or merely smash it, you want the raccoon dead in a single blow.

Assuming the above options gall you… if there’s a research lab in need of a raccoon, you could always donate the animal to it.

UPDATE: I originally wrote “Kevlar-coated” when I meant “Teflon-coated.” Yikes.

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