I second the Maximum Leader’s link to The Ministry of Minor Prefidy, if only for the classic line:

“I need to fechez le vache, load up the catapult with whatever will fit, and fling it in the direction of my elderberrically paternoscented opponent.”

Heh.

I have a confession to make. I, too, have played my share of RPGs. I never had much success a the games in high school. There was a regular Saturday game that began at Lunch and went through the night. I always had things to do in the evening, so would quit around eight o’clock. Whenever I left, my character, as an NPC, suddenly became point man, trap finder, and general red-shirted security man.

But what makes me a real geek is that my sixteen-year old geek mind wanted desperately to prove that I wasn’t a geek to the other D&D geeks by showing off my girlfriend - I would occasionally have a date pick me up at the RPG-fest. See-ya later, dudes, I’m leaving with this attractive girl. Looking back, I just want to kick “circa 1987 Smallholder” in the teeth.

Speaking of mixing dodecahedrons and girls, I can take credit for actually getting a hot girl to play “Call of Cthulu.” The Maximum Leader was GMing a game for his old high school buddies in the suburban Smallholder basement (If I remember correctly, the Air Marshal and Foreign Minister were there too). My girlfriend was up from Tappahannock so I brought her into the game as well. She wasn’t that into it, but I think she enjoyed the attention she got from all the men in the room.

In fact, thinking of that girl and that game session puts me in mind of “Office Space”

MICHAEL: Dude! An occupational hypnotherapist?!

PETER: Anne wants me to go. She thinks it might help. Y’know, sometimes I just think, I keep thinking that she’s cheating on me.

MICHAEL: Yeah. I know what you mean.

SAMIR: Yeah.

PETER: What is that supposed to mean?

MICHAEL: Nothing.

So, to sum up this rambling post, I have demonstrated arcane knowledge of the Holy Grail, trying to impress fellow geeks, admitted playing D&D in high school, Call of Cthulu in college, and being witlessly cuckolded. Screw the Ministry of Minor Perfidy. Your humble Smallholder is king geek.