Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader will, against his better judgement, wish all his readers a happy Valentine’s Day. He says against his better judgement because he honestly feels that this is a “holiday” foisted upon the world by the likes of Hallmark and sundry chocolatiers. Oh yeah… Florists are responsible as well. Your Maximum Leader is sure that he shouldn’t have to re-educate his readers that Saint Valentine was beaten and beheaded in Rome in 269 for baptising the faithful, pardoning (spiritually that is) prisoners, and other stuff that saints do. So remember, those red roses you are sending your sweetie today don’t really represent love. They represent the blood flowing out of Saint Valentine’s beheaded body.

How is that for a romantic image for ye?

Anyhoo… Out of fear of the wrath of Mrs. Villain your Maximum Leader wil be engaging in shameless commercialism on this “Valentines Day.” He will get some flowers and will likely get some cards too. Now that the Villainettes are old enough he must get three cards and three sets of flowers. Your Maximum Leader may also break down and get some chocolate too. Some Lindt or Godiva. (Because Hershey and Nestle just aren’t gifting chocolates you know.)

Since he is debasing himself by “playing along” with the shameless commercialism surrounding this holiday allow your Maximum Leader to debase himself even further by plugging various blogger swag…

As you all know nothing quite says “I love you” so much as a Naked Villainy T-shirt. They come in Long and Short Sleeved models… Ladies you should recall that your man will feel confident and look particularly sexy when wearing a “Well Hung” Naked Villainy T-shirt. Ladies, please note that you will look sexy and irresistable when wearing your Naked Villainy camisole and thong combination.

But let us say, just for the sake of argument that you are completely insane and don’t want any Naked Villainy swag… You could check out the Big Hominid’s swag store. There you could get sick and twisted mugs, cards, mousepads, and more!

Let us say that the Big Hominid’s store isn’t for you… You could always check out Llama swag! A Llama tee is perfect for any occasion. And a Llama stein would look good filled with beer - or sitting on your desk filled with old ballpoint pens.

Of course, not all blogger swag consists of t-shirts and mugs. Your Maximum Leader’s friend Jeff reminds us that man must also know what time to BBQ. So you could purchase a Beautiful Atrocities wall clock and BBQ apron!

You might choose to start your offspring off on the right foot by swaddling them in Perfidious swaddling clothes. Then when they grow up they will become Hateful, Talentless, War-loving, Trailer Trash.

That, dear readers, is all of the shameless commercial promotion your Maximum Leader can stand for one day…

Carry on.