Sadie Spurning Stuns Smallholder
It appears that Sadie has a new crush.
Once again, the hardworking salt of the earth gets cast aside for a flashy Hollywood insider.
I just don’t understand this.
Ah, wait a minute…
This is obviously one of those “Get your true love’s attention by arousing his jealousy by feigning interest in his friend.”
I mean, come on. What woman could possibly think Rob was more blogcrushable than I?
For those of you who come late to the blog, I will illustrate the utter irrefutability of the previous statement with a chart:
| Smallholder | Minister of Propaganda | |
| Appearance: | Bearded and balding, “Prosperous” | Attractive, in a pretty-boy kind of way |
| Personality: | Dour and reclusive | Bon vivant |
| Career: | Yeoman farmer | Assistant Movie Director |
| Income: | Low five figures (if you count the cents columns) |
Mid six figures (Buys and sells peons like Smallholder) |
| Location: | Appalachia | California |
| Signature dating move: | Offering free compost | Bringing flowers; looking soulfully into date’s eyes |
| Education: | Longwood College | Yale |
| Travel: | Never. Who would take care of the animals? | Jets around the world to film in exotic locations. |
| Writing Style: | Rambling and incoherent | Witty and insightful |
| <trong>Future in the MWO: | First against the wall | Mike’s personal procurer of professional pulchritude |
| Politics: | Squishy | So liberal it makes your eyes bleed |
Yes, after reviewing this point by point comparison, it is obvious that Sadie is just playing the jealousy card.
UPDATE: If Sadie thinks I’m metrosexual, she ought to get a load of “Hollywood Rob” and his meticulously trimmed goatee.
