Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader was amused this morning. Very amused. The Crack Young Staff’s pitch for a new MTV show today just made your Maximum Leader laugh.

Of course, there was that one time the dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt was on Punk’d… Surely you remember the episode… It is, in fact, the only one your Maximum Leader has ever watched… The one where the dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt was speaking to a “producer” about a possible film role. In the middle of their discussion a “gangsta enforcer” came into the “producer’s” office to collect on a very large “Super Bowl bet.” The “producer” begged the dreamy Miss Hewitt to help him get some cash and thereby save his life and limbs…

What? You didn’t see that one? Well… Too bad. Your Maximum Leader did. As he said, it is the only one he’s ever seen. Let it suffice to say that your Maximum Leader wouldn’t want to acutally put the dreamy Miss Hewitt in a bad situation. Anyone else is fair game (even the Smallholder); but not the (platonic) object-of-your-Maximum-Leader’s-affection - Miss Hewitt.

Carry on.