Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has been celebrating Halloween in his own charming way for a few days already. He wanted to share some Halloween thoughts with you all.

First off… Sadie. Sadie, darling. Your Maximum Leader forgot your admonition of last year and went and rented “Van Helsing.” He watched it last night. Boy did it suck. He should have heeded your sage advice.

In addition to “Van Helsing” your Maximum Leader delved into his own collection of Dracula films. Over the weekend he’s watched many of the various incarnations of Dracula and Van Helsing. He’s watched Langella/Oliver, Lee/Cushing, Oldman/Hopkins, Butler/Plummer, and - of course - Lugosi/Van Sloan.

Late on Saturday night in the midst of an alcohol induced fog (training for NaDruWriNi), your Maximum Leader got to thinking a thought he hadn’t considered since he was a 13 years old D&D playing HP Lovecraft reading geek. If you were could be either a wizard or vampire which would you be?

Well of course you’d have to be a vampire. At least if you were a hormones-raging male D&D playing geek you would choose vampire. Why? Chicks dig the nosferatu.

Yeah baby! Chicks do dig the un-dead. Wizards spend forever in their towers or castles or caves learning all about weird magic and the arcane arts. But when was the last time you ever saw Winona Rider get all turned on by Merlin or Gandalf? You have never seen it because it has never happened.

You see, to a woman, a wizard would be like their dad or grandfather. The kindly old man who knows lots of stuff, but you’d never sleep with. The vampire on the other hand is the bad boy. Yes, a vampire is like the bad boy that if a woman works with and loves enough she can convince to change. But like a real man, the vampire can’t change. He’ll always be an evil bloodsucking demon. He can only act according to his nature. But while he’s acting according to his nature, he’ll get to nail some seriously hot babes.

Then when you start considering the fringe benefits of the wizard vs. vampire debate you see other thinks that favour the vampire. Sure the wizard can move around during the day and isn’t accursed by God; but is that all it’s cracked up to be when you have to go around in those nappy old robes and carrying your staff? (And in addition to their old robes and staff one has to ask, do wizards care about grooming? They always have the wild bed-head and long beards.) On the other hand, vampires are snappy dressers. They have superhuman strength. They have perfect night vision and great reflexes. And all that comes before you mention that a vampire can dominate the mind of the weak-willed. (And really, other than Abraham Van Helsing aren’t most people pretty weak-willed.)

Yeah. Chicks are hot for the nosferatu.

Carry on.