Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader, in persuing the news wires, sees that a 31 year old man was arrested over the weekend for being a sucky parent. (NB to Phin: Please take note and do not emulate Mr. Killion’s example.) It seems as though Christopher Killion left his young son in the car while he was partaking of the view at a strip club. Mr. Killion told his son to stay in the car lest “monsters” come and eat him.

What a putz. Mr. Killion probably wouldn’t have been allowed to have a son in the Mike World Order. He would have failed the IQ test. We know that Mr. Killion is stupid because every man knows that strippers love little kids. They go crazy over them. That is why strip clubs don’t allow little kids to enter in the first place. The owners know that the strippers’ motherly instincts would kick in and JB’s Gallery of Gals would turn into JB’s Topless Daycare in a matter of moments. You see, Mr. Killion should have just brought his son into the club with him and handed the boy off to a stripper while he enjoyed a high-quality cold brew.

Sad…

In other news a (now former) dancer touring with the smash hit musical “Movin’ Out” is suing the producers of the show. She claims that she was sacked from her gig because her breasts grew too large. She is suing for $100 million. If she wins her suit she should consider opening a topless daycare…

Carry on.